Hello.

I feel...different. I'm feeling confused. I'm feeling tired. I'm feeling everything negative. For the past couple of days I've been losing my appetite. It deteriorates by the hour and it's finally taking its toll on my body now. Today I've been experiencing extreme fatigue, occasional bouts of nausea, and slight dizziness. Earlier this morning I knew I had to eat, but my taste buds just didn't seem to find anything appealing enough to be eaten. I could only managed to have a few sips of water and a bread roll. I felt tired beyond words, like as if I haven't slept all night long.

I had to go out to see someone special today and even though the thought of it all was very exciting, I just felt like sitting at home all day. I felt really tired and up until now I still have no idea why. I haven't really been eating well for the past few days so maybe that's one of the reasons for my lethargy.

Also, the sight of food just makes me gag. I do get hunger pangs occasionally but I end up not eating anything because firstly, I do not know what to eat and secondly, I have no appetite for anything. Not even the yummiest, juiciest fried chicken could swell up my taste buds. And to be honest, right now fried chicken appeals to be very nauseating to me.

Lately I haven't been mentally stable either. I doubt it's depression, because I'm perfectly happy with the life I have now. I'm happy to be home but at the same time I feel really...I don't know. Most of the time I just feel really confused of my surroundings. Sometimes I'd catch myself in a daze, and I'd wonder about what just happened. I just feel really, really confused. Like as if there's this gaping hole inside my head that nothing can fill.

I've also been having this bad gut feeling that I'm about to lose something, or someone, very special and dear to me. This...now this is what worries me the most. My mind is so clouded with the thought of losing someone or something very special to me that I'm starting to not see anything in my future. All I see is just darkness. Emptiness. I can't see where I'm heading and I just feel really lost and confused.

Sometimes I'd catch myself tearing up at this negative thought of mine that's been nesting inside my head for the past week or so. I'm clouded with the depression and sorrow that follow after losing something or someone very special to me. It's all hazy now. Blurry. And it gives me this sense of fear that's slowly eating me up from the inside. I'm terrified and scared and worried and anxious.

I really do hope this is just another annoying episode of my monthly cycle. I want to be able to see ahead again, because right now I just feel so lost and empty and confused. I'm terrified. I'm really, really scared.

Allahurabbi, help me, please.