I hate today. I hate it hate it hate it hate. Stupid PMS ruining my mood. every. Single. Frikkin time. I hate that I haven't been very productive for the past couple of days and I hate going through those unpredictable few days before the time of the month. Cramps, headaches, bloody mood swings.

I think this is by far my worst case of PMS ever. When I got home from work today, I just flipped. When I got to my room, with my sore shoulder and a heavy backpack, the Quran and the small book of Surah Yaasin on my bedside table fell to the floor because my backpack accidentally hit it and pushed it to the floor. So I patiently put down my bag and picked up the Quran and the Surah Yaasin book.

There were also a couple of half-empty bottles of body wash on my bedside table, then suddenly out of nowhere they tumbled down to the floor, together with another book, and some other junk I should've thrown away but didn't. Everything fell to the floor with a loud thunk! and that's when I flipped...which led to a whole new series of unfortunate consequent events.

Since some of the body wash spilled onto the floor, I had to clean it up and it was tedious. There was just too much soapy liquid to be cleaned with such a tiny rag that I had to run back and forth from that spot to the bathroom to rinse the rag so I could fully get rid of the soapy substance on my floor. There was this one time when I was about to exit the bathroom, and somehow I lost my balance and my elbow hit the glass shower door. It was so painful! ...and it was also the breaking point for me. Out of nowhere I screamed in frustration as I felt the numbness of my elbow kicking in, and I threw things to the floor and swore so vulgarly. Not proud of it.

I haven't been this temperamental in a long time. And I hate myself when I look back on how I handled those tough situations so poorly. After I was finally done wiping the soap from my floor, I lied down on my bed, closed my eyes, and quietly whispered "Astaghfirullahalazim" many times until i felt slightly better. I should've done that earlier when I was in such an unpleasant situation instead of letting myself succumb to the anger and frustration inside me. But I was just so tired, what with my scorching headache, and all I wanted to do as soon as I got home was to just lay in bed and relax. But then a series of unfortunate events happened and I wasn't prepared for it.

Sigh. Sometimes I wish I'm better than this. Especially when I'm on bloody PMS.