Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)


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Thursday, September 30
10:01 PM

Last Tuesday was a very unfortunate night for me. And I mean, very.

I fell sick last Tuesday. My day went by perfectly normal, and that evening I had a late lunch consisting of Mi Sedaap and a glass of iced water. Okay, I admit, the packet of instant noodles has been around quite a while, for like a few months or so, and I didn't think it would harm me. So I ate it anyway.

I ate the instant noodles at around 3.30pm, and by the time it was 8.30, I still felt so full like as if I've just eaten a full meal. It's funny, you know, it's already been five hours and yet I still felt full like a king after his midnight feast. And to top it all off, my dad took my mother and I out to PizzaHut for dinner and I thought it was because of my lack of appetite that kept me full that night. But I was suspecting it was the instant noodles.

But anyway,

When my favourite pepperoni pizza arrived, I thought my appetite would come back and bloom like a flower.

It didn't.

Since I was feeling bad for letting my dad take us out for dinner, I had one and a half slices of pepperoni pizza and I downed my glass of Pepsi. I seriously didn't know what I was thinking, I was already full and I let my dad take us out for dinner -_- Stupid. So then we went to Watsons since my mum wanted to buy something, and that's when I started feeling uncomfortable.

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when it's like as if something is pulling and gripping your intestines from the inside? That's how I felt at that moment. But by the time I got home, that feeling got away. Huh, what a miracle. Not.

After we got home I decided to change into my pajamas so I put on a t-shirt and a pair of PJ bottoms. Then I decided to work on my additional mathematics, and by the time I sat on the chair facing my homework, I felt very sluggish and slow. I suddenly felt very heavy and it was probably because I was so overly full. So that's when I decided to go to sleep, thinking that maybe it's just my hormones taking over.

I couldn't sleep. At around 10pm, I couldn't sleep. I suddenly felt very nauseous and I suddenly felt the need to be around my parents. I got out of bed and walked downstairs to my parents' room, where my mother was watching TV. She took one look at me and instantly knew there was something wrong with me. So I told her that I felt nauseous, and she thought I was feeling stressed. Well I wasn't. Then she told me that it was just probably the gas building up in my stomach, and then she massaged my shoulders to get all that gas out. It worked, and man did I belch like a king, but I was still feeling nauseous.

I decided to watch TV just to get my mind off things. Like my sister always says, it's all in the mind. I thought it was just my mind taking over my own body, but it really wasn't. I was feeling nauseous and I needed to throw up. After a few minutes, I got fed up and went to my parents' bathroom and threw up all over the floor. God, I was in such pure agony!

After I was done throwing up, I rinsed the floor with water and some shampoo to get rid of the smell, just in case if there was any. I felt slightly better afterwards, so I wished my mother goodnight and went back up to my room to sleep. About an hour after that, I woke up again and felt the need to throw up. Again. So instead of going to my bathroom, I went to my parents' bathroom because, heh this is the weird thing, psychologically, I felt slightly better knowing that my parents were right in the next room from me. And I guess I needed to know that they were just a few meters away from me so that I wouldn't feel so...alone.

I ended up sleeping in my parents' bedroom because I felt that I needed them...psychologically.

Man is this such a long post. Haha, so in a nutshell, I threw up twice in one night on Tuesday. I hate that feeling. Yeck. But then again, who doesn't, right? I was absent from school yesterday and also today, so that I can recover myself. I feel a whole lot better now, I don't feel nauseous anymore, but I do feel dizzy and kinda groggy. I got my blood pressure tested, and apparently my blood pressure is currently low. I can't move around or walk around much, or else I'd feel like fainting. Even when I walk, I'm swaying from side to side. Like as if I'm err...high. Weeeeeeeeee.

I most probably won't be going to school tomorrow. I really do miss my friends and I wish to see them, but I'm not feeling too well to go to school. What if suddenly something happens to me in school tomorrow? Tak ke menyusahkan orang?

Siiigh I hate not feeling well. My final exams are starting next week and this sickness is restraining me from studying -_-



Saturday, September 25
10:34 PM

What a night. I think I'm condemned to be unlucky tonight -_-

First of all, I was getting more and more pissed off that I couldn't find my Sims 3 CD because I felt like playing it. Everyone in the house was literally in a foul mood and it made me moody, too. In the end my father found the disk without the casing, so then I put it aside.

Secondly, the internet is painstakingly slow. Just now I needed to download something and the predicted duration was nearly two hours. Forget it. In the end, I cancelled the download and decided to download it back on another day.

Thirdly, I accidentally keyed in the wrong pin code for my phone lock and instead of allowing me to have three tries to key in the right code, it immediately blocked my sim-card after the first try. I was like, @$*#!!!!! It asked for my PUK code but since I don't have it, I can't use my phone right now. So then I decided to leave it for a while and went upstairs to my room to pray. When I went back down, I called the customer service for Hotlink and inquired for my PUK code. The douche on the other line wasted my time and in the end refused to let me know my PUK code. Then I passed the phone to my sister and she talked to the dude on the other line, and later argued with him. Turns out my number wasn't registered under my name, it was registered under my father's name, and apparently they needed to talk to my father then only they can give the PUK code. Stupid. My sister, being the lawyer that she is, argued with the guy about their policies and stuff. I mean, it was stated that no procedure for identity verification was needed to give a person his or her PUK code, and then suddenly this dude told us that they HAVE to talk to the person whose name is registered for the number.

Great. Now I can't use my phone and I have to wait till my dad gets home.

Fourthly, since my parents are at a wedding, my sister and I are here at home to fend for ourselves. We had dinner at our own expenses, my sister toasted some bread while I cooked some wantons. Here's the thing, when I was preparing the wantons, nothing happened. So, fine, I heated the oil in the wok and then I fried the wantons. Then I had a sudden desire to eat some eggs. That's when things started getting bad. Really bad. I took an egg from the egg basket and cracked it into a bowl before frying it. But, oh, unlucky me, the egg was spoiled. Rotten. Bad. Immensely tremendously smelly! Just as I was knocking the egg lightly at the edge of the sink, the top of the egg collapsed and bits and pieces of the shells flew out toward the wok of frying wantons. Luckily none of the shells got into the wok or else I'd be eating fried wantons with rotten egg. Yuck.

What was left in my hand was the remains of the egg. I looked down and saw, to my great horror, some yucky grey liquid inside the egg shell. EWWWW. The kitchen immediately started to smell like crap and I had to stop myself from puking. So without thinking I quickly ran to the garbage bin and dropped the rotten egg in there without even throwing the contents of the egg shell into the sink. Stupid move. I'm sure if anybody opens up that garbage bin, they'll immediately faint from the horribly terrible stench of a rotten egg. Panicking -- in fear of making the whole kitchen smelling worse than it already is -- I squeezed some multipurpose cleaner around the sink and on the counter. I let the water run while making bubbles out of the multipurpose cleaner. I wiped the counter clean and the smell eased a bit, but the sink was terribly smelly-fied. I did all this while my wantons were happily frying and turning golden in the hot oil. Luckily they didn't burn. Haha.

After all that chaos, I went to the living room and ate my wantons while watching TV. I didn't even bother washing the dishes because the stench of the rotten egg is still too overwhelming for me to breathe properly -- not to mention to keep me from puking. Anyway, now the kitchen smells really bad. I don't know what to do because I've wiped the counter with a multipurpose cleaner that has a really strong smell and right now I don't know what smells like what. Yuck. I can even taste the rotten egg on my tongue just be sniffing around the kitchen.

Ugh the rotten egg just had to spoil my dinner, not to mention my appetite! Now the whole kitchen stinks and I don't know what my parents are gonna say about it when they get home from the wedding. Which I hope will be soon, so that my dad can talk to the Hotlink customer service to get my PUK code, or else I can't use my phone. I'm not even sure if anyone can reach me via the phone right now...since my sim-card is blocked.

Only one word to describe the chain of unfortunate events that have happened tonight; BOLLOCKS.



Friday, September 24
7:19 PM

I had a really good day today. Mainly because I went to McD after school with Ash and Tasha for lunch. Haha.

Today went by normally. Nothing new, except for the pencilbox-giving-to-the-third-and-fifth-formers ceremony after assembly this morning. After that we filed to class as usual, carried on with our lessons as usual, and groan as usual when it's time for our least favourite subjects.

I had lots of fun after school, though. Me, Tasha and Ash had an impromptu plan to have lunch at McDonald's just a walking distance away. So right after classes were finished, we left our schoolbags in the canteen and walked to McDonald's. We didn't have lunch at the restaurant, though. We bought it and went back to school and ate it there. Haha. Tasha and Ash ordered a McValue meal for themselves and I only asked for some refreshing Coke. Hehe. It's funny how Ash didn't get her drink, though. It was stated in the receipt that she asked for a set meal, but without any drinks. Anyhow, we blamed the cashier behind the counter for not getting our orders right. We hypothesized that she was ogling the two men behind us and didn't really pay attention to our orders. She did seem kinda blur, though. Douche -_- In the end, we were too lazy to create a commotion so we just left with what we had. I had my Coke, Tasha had her set meal, and Ash had hers without any drinks.

Then we went back to school and had our lunches. Well, they had their lunches, I only watched them eat while I was sipping contently on my Coke. As usual, we chatted and gossiped and laughed =)

I really had fun going to McDonald's with my two best friends this afternoon. It was my second time getting out of school to go somewhere for lunch, eceh, and I guess I know how it feels like to go home by train. Not that I went to the LRT station or anything, it's just that the McDonald's we went to was near the LRT station and I've always wondered how it feels like to go home from school by taking the train.

When I was in Standard 2, I still had my two older sisters schooling in the same building, technically. So, we often went home by taking the train, or the cab, and I remember it being very fun because I had my two sisters with me. And then when we were fortunate enough to get seats for ourselves, I would kneel on my seat and look out the window and be completely fascinated by the view outside. Hehe. Imagine that, me at eight years old, wearing the dark blue pinafore. Hahaha. Oh yeah, I really miss that =')

Anyway, I've always wondered whether or not my dad would let me get home from school by train. Obviously, he'll chop my head off before he can give an answer. Haha. But it's okay, I should be grateful that I have my own transport to get home, and I am =)

So, yeah, I had fun after school. Hehehehe.



Thursday, September 23
6:44 PM

I'm very tired. Like really, really tired. I'm mentally drained and physically lethargic. I just feel like crawling to bed and make up the loss of sleep I had last night.

Sadly enough, I only had 3 hours of sleep last night, just like my prediction. I stayed up until 1am in front of the laptop designing the pages for the school magazine, since it's due today (bukannya hantar hari ni pon -_- ) and I stayed up for another hour and a half until 2.30am to finish my homework, since the whole day I've been concentrating on the school magazine.

I woke up this morning and I felt very drained. I felt depressed and tired because I did not sleep sufficiently last night. I was surprisingly fully awake, but my brain was half-dead. I was doing things subconsciously and I'd end up wondering, How the hell did I get here? I only managed to get fifteen minutes' worth of nap today since I have more work to finish up. I feel slightly better now after having McDonald's for a really late lunch. Even my dad said I look pale. Probably from the lack of sleep. I'm already seeing dark circles under my eyes.

What upset me the most today is the fact that I had spent HOURS in front of the laptop last night just designing a bloody montage for CBN's 110th Birthday Dinner, only to find out earlier today that everything was wrong. I nearly cried on the spot while telling Anne that I'd wasted my precious hours on something completely not up to the teacher's taste. God, I could've slept four hours earlier last night!!!! Sometimes, I just hate it when I design something, and it's too overwhelming (in other people's opinions) and I have to "uglify" it. It's so insulting for graphic designers, like me. I feel so insulted, you know. I mean, here I am, presenting the product of sitting for hours in front of the laptop and cracking my brain for something delectably creative, only to be told to "uglify" it. I nearly exploded into a million pieces just now.

And, to make things 'better', I have two hours of tuition today. It's Addmath, so I guess I have to go since I've missed three classes in a row already. So now I'm trying my best to cram everything into my schedule for today and just hope for the best. I'm juggling between homework and the school magazine and I'm really not good at it. I have to pass up an essay tomorrow (which I haven't done) and I have to complete my Addmath exercise books and pass it up tomorrow. I have a lot more to design for the magazine and I just feel so f***ed up.

I need to stay up late again tonight. I've already had two servings of caffeine, and I'm guessing I need a third one for tonight. I feel like as if an anvil has just hit my head, leaving one hell of a quail's egg. But an anvil didn't hit my head, and there's no quail's egg on it. I'm having a migraine, or headache, and I'm tired and sleepy, and I need to design more stuff for the school magazine, and I have Addmath tuition tonight, and I have homework to be done.....

Oh yes. Life is 'good' alright.



Wednesday, September 22
9:50 PM

I really don't have the mood for this shit.

EEEEEE thanks for dumping everything on me man.

You rock my socks.



5:08 PM

I haven't been getting the sufficient amount of sleep for the past few days. This morning I woke up half an hour later than I should, but I still managed to get to school before 7am. Showering and getting ready already ate up half an hour, so I only had five minutes to down a mug of Nescafe and pack my schoolbag.

As of right now, I have a tremendous amount of work to be done, and it's atrocious, merciless! There are crazy spinning balls bouncing around in my head and I just want to lie down on my bed and sleep. Exams are in a week and half, starting from the 7th and ending on the 19th of October. Damn. 12 days of committing yourself to the stress of exams. I'll literally be swallowed whole by the stress of it. But, I'm just relieved to know that I still have two weeks to catch up on my studies. I was thinking that it was going to start on the 5th. Haha, dua hari beza je -_-

I don't think I can sleep tonight. I mean, even if I can sleep, it'll only be like two or three hours max. I'm not torturing myself or anything, it's just that I have a lot of work to do. Work that has been given to me on the last minute. GOD I hate it when that happens. And then they ask you to get it done in 5 minutes. You think it's that easy ah?


I'm really sleepy right now but I can't take a nap, or else I'd wake up feeling groggy and drowsy and sluggish. I hate when that happens. It's like as if time flows by so slow and you're moving slower than a sloth. Eeh. I think I'm going to go and take a nice cold shower now -- even though the weather is pleasantly cold, just the way I LOVE it -- and freshen up so that I can start working on my...work.

Uuuggghhh I need a boost.



Tuesday, September 21
6:51 PM

I miss you. A lot.

=')



Monday, September 20
11:56 PM

I think the monthly blues are kicking in again. So, yeah, I don't think I'm fully prepared for a whole week ahead of me that's gonna be full of mood-swings and a heinous amount of studying to do and also a merciless load of computer-graphical-work-thingymabob.

I think my final exams are in two weeks and when I say there's a lot to study, it means there's a LOT to study. God, I really need to start rereading all the reading subjects, i.e. Agama, Sejarah and Biology. I really need to ace this exam. My mother is expecting so much of me and I just have to make sure I meet up to her expectations. She already found out that I was placed 3rd in my class for the recent exam, which was the second monthly test, and obviously I have to either maintain it or go higher. I only obtained that position out of luck. I didn't even study for that exam. Haha.

Well, they say the final exams are always the most important. I think. But anyhow, I must not get anything below than a B for any subject. I'm fine with just A's and B's for now and I can't really push myself to go beyond my limit, and at the moment my limit isn't that high considering the fact that I was lacking motivation to study harder. The year has gone by so fast and I'll soon be a fifth former in no less than...oh I don't know...four months. Can you believe that? It's already the ninth month of the year.

Well, whatever it is, I'm going to try my very own best to ace my final exams. I can't fail a paper and I want to try to get all A's and B's, if possible. I just want some improvements from my last exam and I want to recuperate myself from this...this laziness that has been raiding my system since the beginning of the year, when I thought that it'll be a honeymoon year for me. Boy was I wrong.

I'm just relieved that I still have a bit of my eagerness and the urge to get fa-kin-su-pa results. I thought I'd lost it, but I haven't, thank God.

It's near midnight, and I'm not sure if I'll be doing some studying later on. I still have some homework that needs to be done by tomorrow. Siiiigh. I need a boost for my self-discipline, too.



Saturday, September 18
10:53 PM

Tasha made me laugh, hahaha.

"haha but i didnt say anything to support u also, tht was supporting 2kg from a part of u, this is where u come in and type "-.-" Or -_- or __-__ ok terbalik"

She actually got me laughing out loud when I read that, and I really laughed! Hahahaha. I'm still laughing at it now.

Tasha, Tasha. Always coming up with funny things -___-



4:51 PM

I've been quite stressed lately over a lot of things. Namely;
a) I've got tons of homework and I haven't done a single one of them.
b) The laziness that has consumed me with its diabolical powers, thus preventing me from getting any work done.
c) My disability in controlling my temper.

It sucks you know, to be stressed during the holidays. But then again, I ask myself, what holidays? The holidays are over. In less than 48 hours, I'll be back in school, doing what a sixteen-year-old is supposed to do. So, yeah, my dearest classmates & schoolmates, just in case I end up moody and sour-faced and grumpy, don't bother asking why. The answer is just obvious =)

And, God I feel like such a couch potato nowadays. I feel so lazy and so futile and so...worthless. I don't know about you, but I will always end up going to bed feeling disappointed and angry at myself for not doing anything productive at all during the day. It's an obsession now, to be productive. But of course, I'm destined to be caged in this house with limitations when it comes to doing things by myself.

I've also been feeling very snappy and temperamental these past few days and I don't even know why. I'm just so unpredictable that nobody can tell when I'm gonna snap, heck, even I don't know when I'm gonna end up snapping at someone over nothing. And, here's the worst part, I'm mostly snappy around my parents. I know it's bad and I know it's wrong but I just don't know why I'm so short-tempered around them. It's not like they've done anything wrong, heck, they've given so much to me. I'm stressed up mostly because of my hot-hotheadedness around my parents and at the end of the day, I always feel immature and foolish because of it. Sigh.

Teenage blues, they call it.

I just hate it when these hormonal changes affect me emotionally. I hate it.

I've always thought that I've outgrown my hotheadedness since the beginning of the year. I'm turning sixteen this year, I'm in upper secondary, and I should be more mature in everything I do. I just think that this hotheadedness of mine is immature and childish, and I just can't have that. God knows how many innocent people I've hurt just by snapping at them without me even realizing it. I guess the more I grow up, the more short-tempered I get.

Hmph =\



12:04 AM

My day started out wonderfully today. At ten in the morning, I woke up to the soft whirring of my ceiling fan and the steady hum of the air-cond. The air was cool and chilly, I was fully tucked underneath my comforter to keep me warm, and the weather outside was cloudy and chilly, just the way I like it. So then I went downstairs to wave my dad and my sister and her hubby goodbye for their trip to Kelantan. I later went back to my room and took a nap. Hehe.

I cleaned my room today and it feels so good to walk on the dustless floor and to see my desk uncluttered with junk and everything was just sparkling clean. I find it easier and more effective when I vacuum the floor instead of sweeping it with a broom. Haha. I also vacuumed my sister's room and the new wing of our home. Ceh, new wing. Hahaha.

After that, I took a shower, shampooed my hair with my new yummy raspberry shampoo and put on my dark blue baju kurung that I had tailored for Eid this year. I had to tag along with my sister to her friend's open house because nobody was at home and I was kind of weary about being all alone at home. So I followed her and I don't have any regrets about that. Hehe.

My sister's friends were very nice to me and they were hilarious! Haha.

After that, my sister and her boyfriend *giggles* took me out to Empire, this shopping mall in Subang Jaya, just opposite Subang Parade because I wanted to find a new pair of jeans. They were so nice in helping me finding a new pair of jeans from Levi's and they really deserve my thanks for bearing my fussiness, hahaha. But yeah, we first went to Levi's in Empire. I tried on a couple of pair of jeans, and since I was unsure about getting which one, my sister's boyfriend suggested that we go to Subang Parade, and so we did. So we went to the Levi's boutique at Subang Parade, and I tried on a pair of boot-cut jeans which looked like something I already have and I didn't want to spend RM250 on something that looks like something I already have. The size was just nice for me but it was a little too tight, and I was still unsure, so we went back to the Levi's store in Empire since it's bigger and the choices are not that limited.

As we got to Empire's Levi's store, I tried on a few more pairs of jeans. I don't know how long I spent my time in there, and the guy was really nice in helping me find a pair of jeans -- he even helped me search for something I'd like and handed it to me through the gap above the door of the fitting room -- but in the end I ended up with a straight-cut pair of jeans that look really nice. It's something new for me, and my sister and her boyfriend say that they'd go really great with my Converse chucks. So, after spending a lot of time considering whether or not to buy those jeans, I ended up buying it. Hehe. It was a good buy, because I spent so much on something that I didn't have. I left the store feeling satisfied but later felt guilty for not tipping the guy who helped me. He was so nice that I felt really guilty for not tipping him or something. Hehe. The customer's service in Levi's is just awesome. I've been to a few Levi's stores before, and the customer's service there is very friendly and very nice =)

So I guess spending RM230 on the pair of jeans is a good buy, inclusive of the service provided by the workers there.

After that we stopped by at my sister's boyfriend's home to pick up my sister's car. I met Calin, this really cute and fat Persian cat owned by my sister's boyfriend's family. Hehe. She's just so adorable and she has this muka penyet and it's just so...eee! Geram! She was really manja with us and she likes it when we stroke her head. And, the best part is, she was very clean in spite of her super thick fur =)

Overall, I had a wonderful day. I'm glad that I spent my day today outside instead of just sitting at home lazing around like a couch potato.

Alhamdulillah =)



Thursday, September 16
9:41 PM

Lama gila tak buat survey. Haha, well here goes the result of boredom!

Honestly, are you in love right now?
- Nope

Honestly, what color is your underwear?
- Transparent -_-

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
- Homework a;lfha;wuhasdfiah;fklanmas

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
- tHIS. Eh, oops, I mean, This.

Honestly, what did you do today?
- Spent my afternoon reading, and then I went out to Midvalley with my dearly beloved parents =)

Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
- Well, I believe I'm attractive =)

Honestly, have you done something bad today?
- No

Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
- No, haha

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
- No

Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
- Being around my family =)

Honestly, do you bite your nails?
- No, I pick them

Honestly, what is your mood right now?
- Indifferent

Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment?
- My sister and brother who are currently overseas ='(

Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
- Mmm nahh

Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
- Nope

Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?
- My sister, and my brother =(

Honestly, do your wrists hurt?
- No, why do you ask?

Honestly, are you in denial?
- Of what?

Honestly, is it easier to talk on Facebook than in person?
- Kinda, but I try to avoid that coz I kinda hate it

Honestly, does anyone like you?
- How should I know -.-

Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
- With who?

Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?
- Dishonestly, no.

Hahaaaaaa yeah -.-



Tuesday, September 14
10:31 PM

Sorry bub, this ship has sailed!

See ya wouldn't wanna be ya!



1:40 AM

It is now 1.22am, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing up so late right now.

So much for going to the zoo this morning. Haha. We were supposed to leave the house for the zoo at 9am yesterday, but sadly it was raining so we couldn't go. I was too busy letting myself be devoured by the sweet oblivion of sleep anyway. Haha.

Anyway since we didn't get to go to the zoo, we went to Ikea during lunch instead. My siblings and I left the house at around 1.15pm and headed off to Ikea and our main purpose was to eat the Swedish meatballs there. But of course one thing led to another and so we went walking around Ikea, looking at all the pretty things. Each of us got something in the end, haha yay! I got myself a throw pillow, it was only RM7.90 and it was very fluffy and compact, so what the heck, I decided to buy it! Now, my bed is dressed up in dark blue duvet and pillowcases with yellow flowers on them, four pillows, and four throw pillows. Hehe. When it comes to bedding, I make sure my bed looks warm and inviting. Which is why I'm obsessed with having a lot of pillows :D

Dinner last night was pleasant. My parents took my brother and I out to Midvalley and we ate at the Food Junction. In fear of me not finishing my food and wasting my dad's money, I didn't buy anything for myself except for an iced milo because I was still so full from the lunch I had with my siblings. So I shared some noodles with my mum and some peanut-butter-and-chocolate waffles.

And -- my sister's gonna kill me for this -- did I tell you that I bought three bottles of shampoo? Yeah, I did. After having dinner, I stopped by at D'Hair Shop to buy my favourite chocolate head-to-toe wash. My sister first bought me that shampoo/body wash last year and because I was madly and deeply in love with it, I couldn't bear to finish it...until a couple of days ago. So that's when I decided I was gonna get myself another bottle of that, and I was very lucky when I got to the kiosk at Midvalley after dinner last night. Apparently the friendly salesperson told me that they were having a stock clearance, so everything was 50% off. In the end, since I couldn't decide which yummy shampoo to buy -- the raspberry and melon shampoos caught my attention, averting me from my chocolate shampoo/body wash -- I decided to buy all three instead. Haha, compulsive buying, dammit. But it's alright, it was a good buy. I left the kiosk feeling happy because I've just gotten myself three yummy shampoos for ten bucks each! And the amount of shampoo in one bottle is a lot!

I then went to MPH and browsed through some books. Lately I've been feeling pretty lazy when it comes to searching for a new book to read. I just don't have the patience anymore to take my time and browse through every single book to find one that suits my taste. So in the end, I bought a book that I've already read, that I've borrowed from a friend of mine, just to add to my ever-growing collection of novels. I bought Nineteen Minutes, by my favourite author Jodi Picoult! Hehe. That woman seriously knows how to grasp your mind into her novels.

I had a good night. As for now, I'm going to sleep. Good night!



Monday, September 13
12:44 AM

Siiiigh.

As much as I hate to admit it, Raya this year doesn't feel like Raya at all. There's just something missing and I don't know what it is.

I'm always like this, reminiscing the previous years' happenings and happy moments, mourning over them and thinking that nothing will ever be the same again. I'm a very nostalgic and sentimental person, and thinking about the years before this just makes me wanna tear up...and don't ask me why because I don't even know.

I really miss last year's Eid. And the year before that. There was just so much going on and everybody was so happy and cheerful and it really felt very prosperous, compared to this year's Eid. Heh, if I hadn't known any better, I wouldn't have said that it's Raya right now.

Oh well. Looks like I just have to get over the fact that not everything can happen the way you want it to. Is it just me or is my life slowly being eaten away?

Sigh. Maybe a good night's sleep can help me get over it. I hope.

On the bright side, I'm going to the zoo with my siblings tomorrow. I'm so looking forward to it as we never get to do this kind of outdoor activity always. It'll be quite said though, that Kak Lea can't join us. She's like the life of the party, the woman whose witty jokes bring laughter to everyone. I miss her already =(

If anyone were to ask me whether or not I'm happy right now, I'd say no, and it's not because of the fact that my grades are dropping tremendously, or the fact that I don't have enough money to buy all the things I've been craving for, or the fact that there's an 80% probability that my father won't let me go to see Paramore live in KL, but because of the fact that everything just feels so dead and lifeless and it's starting to make me feel like as if I don't even know the meaning of prosperity and joyfulness anymore.

I just wish things would be like how they used to be.



Saturday, September 11
11:52 PM

PARAMORE'S COMING TO 
KUALA LUMPUR!

I, will be the happiest girl ever, if I can get tickets to watch Paramore live!

That is, of course, if anyone is willing to take me there -- ahem, Kakcik, this is the part where you come in. I'm not really sure my dad would allow me to go, since it's a rock concert and all and there'll be a lot, and I mean a lot of people there. And it'll be at night. So, yeah obviously my head would be chopped first before my dad can even allow me to go to the concert alone. Which means that I need anyone of my siblings to take me along, but I'm not sure if they're willing to go. I mean, it's a rock concert after all.

Sigh. I really want to go. I missed the opportunity to catch them live in Singapore last March. My sister was free to take me but I had other plans. Oh well. It'd be nice to watch my favourite band ever performing live, right in front of my eyes! They make such great music and I just love the fact that they obtain such a clean image and their music have no bad influences in them.

A great band indeed.

*Melodramatic sigh* I really want to go =(



3:18 PM

Well, you know where to find me.

Bye!



Thursday, September 9
10:31 PM

You know what, if you prefer to give me the silent treatment, the cold shoulder, rather than being an adult for once to smooth things out, well then be my guest. I have no desire to squeeze whatever is inside of you just to know what is wrong with you. Or me. Or whatever. I'm sorry, I'm just not that type of person who'd chase a person for such things. Call me egoistic, but at least I'm not an immature brat who can't seem to speak up.

Don't even try to consider yourself grown up when you can't even face your problems in a mature way. Sure, you're already a teenager, blah dee blah blah, but if you face your problems like how a ten-year-old would -- you know, giving people the cold shoulder and the silent treatment -- then you can admit yourself to immaturity.

God, girls nowadays. Always so...EEEEEEE.

Anyway, enough of that. I shouldn't be so pissed off right now anyway. It's Raya Eve and I'm so excited for what tomorrow brings! Home-cooked rendang ayam, made by my mother herself -- with the help of her three darling princesses, of course, ahem -- people visiting our house, getting lots of duit raya, ahem ahem. Hehehe. And the house will be filled with the lovely welcoming scents of lemang, rendang ayam, kuah kacang and many others. Oooh the delights! I can't wait for tomorrow!

I had fun helping my mother cook the food for tomorrow. I woke up at seven this morning because we wanted a head start on the cooking, usually the years before this we'd start working at around 9am++. But not this year, we're starting in the morning so we can finish early. And yes, we did finish early. After I woke up, I went downstairs to the kitchen and I found my two sisters peeling the skins off some shallots. My mother was over the stove preparing some kuah kacang for the ketupats.

Apa lagiiii, pergi tolong la. Haha. So I sat down on the mat with my sisters and I sliced the shallots as finely as I could. I just love slicing and dicing vegetables and other edible items, simply because I love cooking! Hehe. There were so many shallots to be chopped that it took us about an hour to finish the whole shallot-slicing thing. My fingers ended up smelling like the pungent scent of onions, in fact the smell is still stuck at my fingers. Yecks.

I always love the day before Eid. The house would be chaotic and everyone would have something to do, be it cooking or cleaning or whatever. I always enjoy the little hustle and bustle here at home when the day before Eid arrives, simply because I love the fact that everyone's here at home, working together, sharing jokes and laughter together, making fun of each other and many more. We don't usually get that nowadays, now that my eldest sister is married, a couple of my siblings are working overseas, and my youngest older sister is always busy with her law firm. As for my parents? They're busy, too, and I often miss their presence during the day even though I know I still get to see them at night.

Sigh. How I wish my family can just stick together like glue. But then again, we can rarely feel the fun of it all when the everyone gets together if we're always sticking to each other, right? =)

I'm so thankful to be born into a big family =')

And last but not least, I just want to wish everyone SELAMAT HARI RAYAAAA, Maaf Zahir & Batin! I apologize from the bottom of my heart if I have ever offended you in anyway, be it through my words or actions, and I hope you have a very prosperous Eid this year, because I know I will! Haha.

Alhamdulillah =)



Wednesday, September 8
3:59 PM

So much for making my Wednesday a productive one. I'm such a futile wreck today.

I mean, come on! Last night I decided to sleep in my sister's room again, and it has been such a long and hot day. So, obviously the night was hot. So yeah I slept in my sister's room, where it was hot and I felt sweaty and sticky. Since it was very warm, I had to hike my pants up to my thighs just to feel comfortable, but only to feed those bloodsucking parasites, a.k.a mosquitos. After a while, yes, I did fall asleep but at around 2.30am, I woke up again to the warm room and the endless scratching and smacking of my legs, where the mosquitos have left their disgusting marks.

Bloody mosquitos. Frikkin' parasites. Disturbing my beauty sleep. DOHHH

I didn't know how long I stayed like that, but later I found out that I'd been tossing and turning and scratching and smacking in utter rage and annoyance for at least half an hour. As a result of that, I got up from my sister's bed, took my pillows and went back to my room. I switched on the air-cond that hasn't been used for...I don't know, a couple of months? I read a book for a while, just to make me sleepy again, and since 3.30am, that's when I started having a good night's sleep.

As a result of my little episode last night, I woke up at 11.30 this morning. I hate waking up late. I feel so wasted, so futile, knowing that I've just wasted half of my day in bed, unconscious. Anyway, after I woke up I immediately took a shower and then went downstairs to grab something to eat, since I'm not allowed to fast today. And then the afternoon got dark, followed by strong winds, and then the dark heavy clouds finally expelled the rain.

So basically today is a very wet, rainy day, and I'm loving it! Hehe. The weather today is also making me feel lazy and sleepy and I just want to crawl back into bed. But I can't. I have a few chores to do and an atrocious pile of homework to be done.

Well then, I shall stop this futility of mine right this instant! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go back to bed, I mean clean my room.

Ha ha. As if.



Tuesday, September 7
6:43 PM


Attack of the nerd :P

In spite of my dorky expression, the nerdy glasses, the big just-woke-up-from-bed hair (which is kinda true!), I just really love this picture. Haha.

Okay I'm bored.

Tomorrow is a Wednesday, and I shall make it a productive one. Kapow! 



Monday, September 6
5:08 PM

Sigh. I don't know what is wrong with me since yesterday.

I woke up in the morning yesterday with a really bad stomachache. So then, what else, I went to the bathroom to do my business. The pain eased a bit, but it was still there, right in the pit of my stomach. Since it was still early in the morning, I decided to go back to sleep. I mean, who knows, maybe the pain would be gone by the time I woke up?

Wrong. Boy was I dead wrong about that. The second time I woke up yesterday, the pain had gotten worse and I had to make three more trips to the bathroom. I was having diarrhea, unfortunately, and it left me feeling weak and dehydrated, since diarrhea can cause dehydration by flushing away all the water from your body. ANYWAY, I decided to go downstairs where my parents were at. I needed their company, even though they were busy cleaning the house, but just the presence of them could make me feel slightly better. Slightly.

I was draped across the TV sofa, watching E! while the pain in the pit of my stomach attacked at full force. At times I could feel the sharp pain at full throttle and I would arch like a bow as the pain shot through me like a lightning bolt. At one time, the pain got so, so bad that it made me want to faint. So then I asked my mum to rub some minyak panas on my belly because I couldn't do it myself because I just felt so weak and tired and I just wanted the pain to go away. After that, I slept throughout most of the day until about half an hour before Maghrib.

After I woke up from the really, really long nap, I went to take a shower. My head felt so heavy and it felt like as if I'd been hit by an anvil. My eyeballs felt like as if they were gonna pop out any moment soon and it was really hard for me to sit up straight. My head felt hot, too. So then, I decided to go and take a shower. A nice, cold shower. I thought it would wake me up, you know, and rejuvenate my body a bit, but I was wrong about that too. I was so tired when I was shampooing my hair and whatnot that I had to lean against the wall to prevent myself from fainting. After all, I was fasting. I was tired and dehydrated from the diarrhea and I wanted nothing more than to sleep.

So during break fast, I had no appetite to eat. I only ate two dates and a small portion of plain rice, without any lauk or anything because like I said, I had no appetite to eat. Then, I went upstairs to my room to pray and then I immediately fell asleep on my bed. After about an hour, I woke up all of a sudden, and I decided to sleep in my parents' room. When I got to my parents' room, they weren't at home. They were at the mosque for tarawih, so I was left alone at home. So, yeah, I fell asleep on my parents' bed. Hehe.

I feel slightly better today. I'm not fasting though, because I'm afraid that I won't have enough energy to get through a day. I'm still having diarrhea but my head feels a lot lighter. Too light, actually. I feel drowsy and tipsy today, and for some unfathomable reason my heart rate is increasing from time to time. I'm not dizzy, oh no, I just feel drowsy, and I feel like as if I'm about to faint anytime soon.

Ugh. I hate this.

I think there's a parasite living in my digestive system. Whenever I eat, I get diarrhea. It's funny how I don't feel any pain in my stomach but I still get diarrhea anyway. I don't know what is going on with my body right now. I just want it to be back to normal so I can carry on with my life as usual. I really don't like this drowsy, tipsy feeling.

Oh, and I have tuition tonight! I'd feel really guilty if I don't go, and I really wanna go tonight, but I don't know if my body can handle it. I mean, what if in the middle of my tuition class I suddenly need to "go"? Or what if I faint? I've already missed two classes for physics last month and I really want to go tonight. But...I don't know...

Sigh. I hate being sick.



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