Iman Nedhiera

___________________________________________________________________




Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)


HTTP://WWW.FLICKR.COM/IMAN_NEDHIERA



Wednesday, September 30
3:59 PM

Yeah, school today was fun, mostly because us third formers were entertained by this mathematician who came from God-knows-where, the whole time we were at school. We had a Mathematics workshop the whole day at school, and luckily it wasn’t a major bore-fest, the ultimate snore-factor.

The guy cracked up jokes like literally every second. He showed us the techniques on how to answer complicated Maths questions, and I must say that his techniques were super easy and really short. I mean, I understand Maths better now than ever. Hehe, I loved Maths all along. And I really liked how he was being so sarcastic but not in an offensive way, and his jokes were like real jokes. Not like those pathetic lawak-tak-jadi and people will laugh out of pity. Heh heh.

By the time it was recess, my head was already crammed with a lot of the techniques that the teacher taught us. My brain was so tired after jamming up so much stuff about Maths that I just wanted to lie down and sleep. When recess ended and the workshop resumed, I was feeling so sleepy and all I wanted to do was to shut my system off for a while.

7 days to PMR. Sigh. I hope I’ll do well. I think I’m capable of getting straight A’s this time, hmm, InsyaAllah. I mean, I already see the potential in me, I think.

This weekend is going to be a bummer for me. First of all, my parents will be organizing tahlil and solat hajat on Saturday night due to the fact that I’ll be sitting for PMR four days later, and also due to the fact that my sister will be going to Singapore for a year after receiving a “promotion” from her boss. It was originally her idea to organize the tahlil and solat hajat for her, but then I got the green light from Abah and he said that they can do it for me, too.

Okay, that’s not really a bummer. What really bugs me is that I know when the day the tahlil is going to be held here at home, I won’t be able to perform any religious activities since it’s ‘my time of the month’, haha, I’m sure you ladies get it. Sigh.

Dah la solat hajat sekolah punya tak pergi, bodoh punya pengsan, bodoh punya fever.

Yeah I couldn’t attend the school’s solat hajat a couple of months ago, too. I was having a mild fever after fainting twice in an hour, once in the bathroom (fully clothed) and once in my sister’s room after I ran to her for help. So, yeah. But I did perform my own solat hajat though. Plus, I've been praying super hard lately, and I really hope with all my heart that God will shower me with straight A's when PMR comes :)

Second of all, this weekend is going to be a bummer because PMR will be in just less than five days. I’d be stressed out, my hair would probably stick out in awkward angles, dark circles would probably show up underneath my eyes, and my little demon of wrath inside my tiny heart would probably find the opportunity to escape from its cages.

Man, why can’t my ‘time of the month’ wait until two more weeks?



Tuesday, September 29
5:23 PM

Honestly, sometimes random people just make me pissed off and mad. Well, yeah, I usually have a reason to be mad, and it always, always have something to do with rudeness.

Why must people be so rude, anyway? I mean, just because you're filthy rich and "everybody loves you, (konon)" doesn't make you any better than anyone. Yeah la, you get fed with thousands of cash from your parents, and yet you don't have the brains to be ladylike and kind.

Case in point; school today. I guess moodswings paid me a visit that time, so I was feeling kind of annoyed for no reason. I was standing next to my friend who sat on the bench in the canteen, sipping my isotonic drink. Fine, nothing wrong there. Then this whack walked past behind me and bumped me on the shoulder, which caused me to wobble a little since that was unexpected, and yet she didn't even have the courtesy to say sorry. Bloody hell. I guess I was having PMS or something, but that made me tick off even more.

Stupid. I still can't forget the day when she bitched about my classmate. Yeah la, sit at our table, leave us no space. How SMART is that la? Then my classmate said something to us about her and her clan, something about not knowing where to find their own tables and stuff. Then this girl came out of nowhere, and do you know what she said to my classmate? "If you want to bitch about us, can you say it in front of us next time?" Major dumb-eff. But of course, she said it in Malay lah, which I don't know why she even bothered to speak in Malay since she "originally came from America"....pfft, as if. Memang Melayu sejati betina tu.

Anyway, the incident at school just now just made me pissed off, and I just feel like writing about it here. Ha ha. Like I care if she finds out. What's she gonna do? Call the police? Oh no, put me in jail? As if. Like she doesn't bitch about other people, ha ha.

Jerk.



Sunday, September 27
12:04 AM

I have at least seven windows on "How to Concentrate Better" and "How to Improve Concentration" and "How to Remember Better", those stuff.

I think I'm lacking on concentration. I don't know if it's anxiety attacks or PMS or moodswings, but I'm having a really hard time concentrating these days. What I read, it doesn't get into my head, even when I'm reading novels. My mind is constantly on something else while doing something, and that's not good, especially at a critical time like this; barely two weeks to PMR.

Maybe that's why I'm not gaining anything while I'm studying, maybe I'm not concentrating enough. And yet, when I try so hard to concentrate on each word, each sentence until the last syllable, I'd straight away forget what I just read.

Case in point, Sejarah. I'm always obtaining a love-hate relationship with this particular subject. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I get it wrong. It's frustrating and annoying and peeving. I hate that I forget things everyday. I just wish my memory is like Einstein, or that man who can remember a loooooong list of a number sequence. Oh well, looks like I'm not gifted :b

Hmm, maybe I should look up on 'What Kinds of Food Slow Down the Brain".



Thursday, September 24
10:24 PM

Feel like killing this idiot. I think this annoying thing is saying, Score Score Score A! Can I shove a stick up its mouth?


Screw history screw it screw it screw it screw it. WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THE BRITS CONQUERING THE PENINSULA MALAYSIA DURING THE STONE AGE? (WHO'S WITH ME?) I literally threw my history reference book until it sat there, open-paged and all crumpled, six feet away from me. I have never disdained anything more in my life! How fun is it to learn about people who are dead? Um, not at all!

Score "A" tu pulak, jawapan betul bagi salah. Memang bukan ajaran sesat la kan? How helpful, an average student takes about 7-8 subjects in PMR, but oh, Score A left out Pendidikan Islam and KH! Suuuuucks! (Sorry, Ma, that thing sucks beyond the limitations of sucking.)

TWO MORE WEEKS and I'm frikkin' kissing PMR GOODBYE. Two more weeks and I'm frikkin' embracing my new heartfelt freedom!

I'm embracing PMR, which means I'm embracing Pain and MoRose-ness. You know, like frikkin' PETA aka Pembela Tanah Air.....oh forget it. You wouldn't even remember what that thing is anyway (even I don't, honestly these reference books screw everything up!)

On the other hand, I'm grateful for embracing geography with no difficulty. I love geography, ha ha. No puns intended.

I think it's beyond conspicuous that I really despise exams. That five-lettered word just drives me up the wall!

Fine, I'll try and do my best for this frikkin' PMR. I'll vomit all the things I've learned on the paper if I have to -_-"

Attack! Pon pon pata pon!



5:18 PM

Supposed to be studying but I can't...open...the...reference books! Too...many...facts...to...digest! I'm gonna die if I don't study >.<

I had a good Raya this year. OK la. Duit pun banyak, heh heh. I hate it when I have to slap a clownish smile on my face whenever some guests arrive at home. Ima be all, I don't even know ya'll, so see ya! Seriously, I SO don't know how to entertain guests. Then they'd ask me about my private life, blah blah blah. Ima be all, ya'll don't even know me, ya'll should stop hokey pokin' your nose in my personal life man! Of course, that's how I would play the scene in my head, unless I want to get my butt spanked for saying that out loud to the guests. Heh heh.

I'm SO addicted to Patapon right now, this game I play on the PSP. Hehe, cute, teeny tiny little people...at war! How adorable ♥

PMR is screaming at me right now unless I don't bury my face deep, deep into the many pages of my geography history maths science agama BM english KH books. Sigh. Okay, now PMR just shattered my eardrums -_-"

Thirteen more days!

Pata pata pata pon!



Saturday, September 19
1:12 AM

It's 1:12am and I'm not sleeping yet and I don't feel like it.

You know what I feel like doing?

I feeling like cussing. And swearing. All because of a damn idiot whose heart is so black like coal and hard like granite. All because of a damn idiot whose head is as thick as her fat butt and fake boobs combined together. All because of a damn idiot whose brain is the size of a pea. Scratch that, HALF of a pea.

As if you're fucking smart! I'm surprised you can even figure out simple math!

As if you're goddamn COOL. Hey ho, make way for the mafia! Ten tenenen!

As IF the attention you get is satisfying your needs! Reality check, thickhead, you only get as much attention as your IQ, and it's even shorter than my knee! Haha. Honestly lah kan, you must've thought that people look at you because you think they like you. Hahahahahaaha. So not. They only look at you because of your slimy and slutty attitude. Ho ho. Ha ha. He he.

Terasa onnot? Terasa en? En en en? Aww, what are you gonna do now? Weep? Go run to your mommy and cry in her breast? Tsk tsk. All grown up and you still can't stand on your own two feet by yourself. What a sad little creature. You poor, poor thing. Eh, wait a minute, how would you even know I'm talking about you, eh? Agak perasan la. Haha. You kind of misintepret things, you know.

What a two-faced idiot, you are. Honestly, behind my back, you're talking the shit that comes out of your butthole. In front of my face, especially when you want something from me, bukan main lagi nak buat muka baik. Blah ah. I am sooo not vulnerable to your tricks, honey. I've got more nerves in my brain than you do :)

You're so sad, you know that. You try to hide the inconspicuous truth, but literally everyone's seeing what you're hiding. Jeng jeng jeng.

And that 'tail' of yours? You are such a dictator!

Low-life jerk.



Friday, September 18
2:59 PM

I had such a great time at school yesterday. It was like by far the best way to end the school week x)


We had Tadarus al-Quran yesterday. It was OK, in spite of the fact that the imam misread some of the holy sentences (can't really blame him, really. The fonts were darn small!) So, yeah, we read what we had to read, and after, us Muslim girls had to line up around the perimeter of the hall to go and shake hands and apologize and blah blah blah to all the Muslim teachers. The teachers lined up in a straight line, too, just like we were.


I was only being honest to the teachers whom I love. Haha. I only said "Selamat Hari Raya cikgu". I already apologized to my teachers in July, heh heh. I didn't bother to count how many teachers there were, but by the time I was halfway across the line I was already dizzy from shaking hands and bowing my head. Sheesh.


Not forgetting...I hugged my ex-BM-teacher and my ex-Agama teacher too! Hehe. Pn. Norzihan was such a supporting teacher back when I was a second former. She never forgot our class, even though we were such pains in the butt last year. She's still my favourite teacher, by the way. She's so caring and supportive and fun! But sadly she won't be teaching us anymore, not next year, not in two years. This is why I hate to migrate to the morning session, because your afternoon-session teachers won't be teaching you anymore. Sad. Did I mention that she even gave a Hari Raya card for the whole class, too? Aww how sweet!


Pn Hafifah, my Agama teacher who was replacing my original Agama teacher for a couple of months, won't be teaching us anymore. She was a replacement teacher for a short while, and it's already time for her to go. She was so nice and you can communicate with her like a friend, not just a teacher. Well, yeah, she's only in her early twenties (and she's married!). In fact, she's so cool that she trusted us enough to give us her phone number and her email. Hehe. I found her FB!


After school yesterday, I stayed back a little for a so-called "study group" lah konon. Me, Ama, Putri, and Mira stayed back until 1.30pm, fourty-five minutes after the school ended. We lingered at the PK, underneath the huge and flowering frangipani tree. It was cloudy but the air was damp, so we were kind of sweating a little, heh heh. Otherwise, we were pretty cool there.


Almost 80% of our time spent there we gossiped. As for the 20%? Yeah we talked about Sejarah, and geography, etc. Well, at least we were talking about something that had some relevance in our studies. Right.


I really enjoyed yesterday. It was nice to spend some time with my friends after school hours, even for a short fourty-five minutes. Hehe.


I got my baju raya today. Each of the ladies in the family received two pairs of baju kurung each, one of them is the colour of cream that looks like a songket, but the fabric's thin so it's comfortable to wear. As for the other pair, we had them in an array of bold colours. Mine is purple, with bold patterns on it.


I hope it was because my purple baju kurung hasn't been ironed, because when I first put it on before ironing it, the part between my waist and my knees seemed to flare up. My baju kurung is a bit different, it's fitted at the waist and it flares up at the bottom. Honestly, I looked like a prego. But, I've already ironed my atrociously-hard-to-iron baju kurungsssss and I hope I won't look like a pregnant teenager when Raya comes -.-"

And the one defect of my purple baju kurung? The fabric is kind of synthetic, a bit of linen and a bit of silk, I don't know. It's just not cotton. It's hard to iron this material, because if the iron is too hot then the fabric will be torn apart. And it's hard because I had to use such a low temperature on the iron to smooth out the crinkles and the bumps and it was hard to do so when the iron isn't so hot. Sigh. This is why I love to wear cotton when it comes to baju kurungs. Wait, scratch that, I love to wear cotton apparels. Period.

But still, because I love the pattern on my purple baju kurung, I guess it's cool.

I love the cream-coloured one, though. It fits me just nice and I look pristine and clean. Yeahaa.

As usual, we tailored our baju kurungs. No way were we going to buy a ready-made one from the shelf. Otherwise we'd look like other people, and We. Don't. Like. That. Well, at least I don't like that. I don't know about the others. Haha.

Anyway, I just want to say...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Do forgive me for all the wrongdoings that I've made, whether or not I've hurt your feelings unintentionally or not, nyehe. Have a happy raya!

PS: Raya, why must it always be green?



2:59 PM




Wednesday, September 16
9:11 PM

I'M SO FRIKKIN' PISSED OFF AND ANNOYED AND STRESSED OUT AND TIRED.

OH PLEASE, LIKE AS IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S COMING UP IN TWO FRIKKIN' WEEKS.

HELL TO THE FRIKKIN' O, IT'S NOT LIKE AS IF I'M A BRAINLESS SWINE WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING.

Everyone's frikkin' annoying me at the moment.

ESPECIALLY when they think they're telling me the right things when what I'm actually hearing is; YOU'RE NOT SMART ENOUGH.

or

YOU'RE A SHAME.

or

I'M SORRY YOU'RE NOT LIKE THOSE NAWP GIRLS.

My God, what am I, a worthless drug-addict? At least I have a LIFE and a frikkin' BRAIN.

STOP UNDERESTIMATING ME.


This is just too much.



Monday, September 14
5:32 PM

Hiiiiiiiiii mommy!

You look too young to become a mom, or is it just me?


For the first time in my so-full-of-so-called-fun life, I've managed to get 43 upon 60 correct in the Sejarah test just now. Haha. Wow. That's close to an A, actually. Two more correctly answered questions and I could've gotten an A. Oh well.

Ah, the blessing for putting my effort into studying Sejarah.

Still, that doesn't determine whether or not I'll get an A for Sejarah in PMR in three weeks. Looks like I gotta work harder.

50/60 correct; TERUK HAAA? Makes me feel like a dumb nut, when people say they did bad but they actually did very well. Like, dude, get a grip on yourself.



Saturday, September 12
8:31 PM


This...this is me, currently. Well, I'm in the process of becoming like that, at least.

If you see me like that in about four weeks, don't be surprised :)

Yeah my temper's very fragile now. Veeeeery thin, veeeeery fine. Ho yeah.



12:30 AM


Hahaha. This is amusing.



Friday, September 11
10:20 PM

I love Sejarah. I think it's the easiest subject I've ever learned.

Hahahahaha.



6:24 PM

BM AND ENGLISH PAPERS TODAY SUCKED! :'(

First of all, BM sucked beyond the limit because we were given two hours to write four essays on four craptastic topics. Pelancongan lah, kebakaran lah. I think that was the first time I had no freaking idea on what to write under Section C, karangan bebas. Yecks. I simply wrote all the way, not knowing what the heck I was talking about, not even sure if I was making any sense.

As for English? First page je dah "Importance of Friendship".

"Your friend has asked your opinion on the importance of friendship. Write an essay on The Importance of Friendship in a suitable format."

Share the times of joy and sorrow la, lend a helping hand la, BULL BULL BULL. But surprisingly I was so caught up in my essay that when I showed my friends later, they laughed at what I wrote. I wasn't offended, not at all, because even I wanted to laugh at what I wrote. Soooo jiwang.

Yeah that was the bullshitty part for the English paper. Sucked. Like hell.

Today is my third day of the week sleeping like a sloth. Three-hour-naps, three days straight...sigh. I easily snap at people, too, nowadays. One tiny glitch and I can send off an explosion. KABAM! Especially when the Annoying Ones are badgering me with their cries for help. Ooo bila nak orang tolong baru nak baik-baik. Boleh blah ah.

Maybe I am sleep deprived. Miss Crankypants.

Because I'm feeling cranky and mean now, I'm going to quote what my classmate told me earlier today...

Lookit! Look who looks like a mom now!

That...that sent me off laughing like an oxymoron. Karma karma :)



Thursday, September 10
9:50 PM

Guess what guess what guess what what what?

I FOUND MY BLACK WATCH! WOOHOO!

Apparently it was somewhere in my closet, sandwiched between my pile of t-shirts. I found my black watch last night, while I was pulling out one of my shirts, aaaand plop!, my black watch came into sight!

Oh, it feels so good to have the worn out leather straps around my right wrist again. I missed it a lot!



6:18 PM

Finally, all the tough subjects are over for the Gerak Gempur week. But, I'm having BM and English papers tomorrow, all subjective. Oh, great, essays.... -_-"

Agama and Maths papers today. Agama was pretty easy, PRETTY easy la. I didn't know how much I got, because I didn't want to. I guess it's safe to say that I'm a coward when it comes to getting to know my exam results. Haaaa. Maths was easy! Surprisingly I could answer nearly all of the questions in a breeze. The results? 52 upon 60 ;)

I love Maths. It just makes you feel smart when you solve a question. Haha. Hey, I'm not the only one who feels like so, kan Putri kaaaan? :)

Yeah I napped for another three hours today. It's true, I'm beginning to see dark circles under my eyes, especially under the sunlight. Well, I was tired. I was lethargic and hungry and thirsty and I felt like as if I was still surviving in the Sahara desert. I was picked up twenty minutes late, and those twenty minutes made me feel cranky. I hate to wait, I hate to be delayed. The weather was hot, I was secreting a fair amount of water from my skin, aka sweat, which made me feel dehydrated. There's barely enough water in my body and yet I was still sweating -.-" Fasting month. Sigh. End of next week, Raya!

I immediately zonked out on the bed when I got home. I lay in bed, arms and legs spread out, and listened to some music. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep, and it dragged on, and on, and on, until it was 5pm. I missed Zuhur, and I knew it. Drat.

When I went to get a shower, guess who, or shall I say what, greeted me! It was my neighbour's new dog! Great. He, it wasn't in the bathroom of course. It was just a few meters away from the border that crossed my house with my neighbour's house. And it happened to bark, or laugh, whatever. Goodness, so annoying! It sounded like as if it was laughing, like a hyena, or probably worse. Oxymoron, sheesh. I hate dogs. They're noisy and loud and annoying. Especially when they whine for attention when they squeak or whimper. If I could I would shove a stick up its throat.

I love kittens, though :)

I've showered and I'm clean now. All I'm waiting for is buka puasa, so that I can EAT! Oh and I can't wait for some pizza later ;)



Wednesday, September 9
8:13 PM

I think my Science reputation is going down the charts. I don't know what's wrong with me nowadays. I can't seem to get the sixth question in the subjective paper all correct, instead I desperately suck at it. Sigh.

Gerak Gempur, today, again. Science, KH...easy stuff. I don't know how much I'll get for science, since my teacher is the one who is going to be the one marking our papers instead of us doing it by ourselves. KH was easy, but quite tricky. Now I know, to read the questions thoroughly. Had a few careless mistakes >.<

I laughed a lot today. Especially during the discussion for the KH paper during the last two periods of school. I sat next to Ama, who wouldn't stop cracking jokes. As a result, I was laughing my guts out! And theeennn...

Miss Woon : Amalina dengan Iman, tolong senyap ya.

Hahaha, terus kitorg diam. But she wasn't referring to us, who were making a lot of noise (but we weren't the only ones!). She was actually referring to someone else, from the other side of the classroom. That's when we laughed harder, and I noticed some of my classmates glancing at us and laughing as well.

Yeah that was funny >.<

I had a good three-hour-nap after returning home from school, after showering today. I slept at around three, ended waking up at six. I think I'm sleep deprived. I'm beginning to see dark circles under my eyes now.

I think the reason why I took a long nap this evening was due to my lack of sleep this week. Last night, I intended to snooze off at 12.30am, after doing my revision on Sejarah. Then I fell asleep, of course. Nowadays I sleep with a night-light on, so that it'd be easy for me to wake up in the morning. But then, by 2.30am last night, I was suddenly awake. It took me at least another hour to fall asleep again, and the room was hot. In between the moments of being conscious and unconscious, I felt myself sweat. I wanted to take a shower, but I was too sleepy and lethargic to do it. So I slept, still sweating...

I seriously think I'm sleep-deprived. But, oddly, the earlier I sleep, the less easy it is for me to wake up in the morning. Weird, I know......

I wonder what my mum ate when I was still in her womb. She probably took some weird sleeping pills that collided with my mentality. Hmm. Well, at least she didn't eat anything while I was in her womb that emitted the Middle Child Syndrome to Kak Lea the weirdo. Hahahaha.

I still think I'm weird.

Oh, and I can't wait for Paramore's new album to come out! I was so over the moon when I heard their latest song! September 29th, can't wait! :D



Tuesday, September 8
4:31 PM

Another craptastic daaaay.

Sigh.

I wish it would rain. Now.

AND I'M MISSING MY BLACK WATCH! Terribly.

I'm so going to ransack the whole house later. I'd probably turn the whole building upside down. And, if I fail to find my fabulous black watch, I hope it is doing well in the afterlife, still remembering me, the loyal mistress of it :'(



Monday, September 7
4:32 PM

What a craptastic day.......

Started off with Gerak Gempur BM. We got a paper from the Sarawak's PMR trials 2009. CRAPTASTIC! The answers given were like poop, the correct answers given made no sense, and I thought it was more of bahasa Iban or Kadazan or something. SO NOT MALAY.

Blah blah blah. After that we discussed the paper, had a lot of debates on the answers. Haha, semua boleh jadi debater. I was so bubbled up with disappointment that I felt like tearing up the paper into pieces.

We were supposed to have the Sejarah paper next after recess. Buuut I don't know what happened, they shifted the paper to next week. HOO TO THE RAY! That means I get more time to study Sejarah. Heh heh. Ms. Karamjit came to school today. She taught us Sejarah after recess, and MY LAWD I WAS FREAKING SLEEPY. It wasn't the way she taught us, I was just inevitably sleepy since I slept at two in the morning last night, or maybe three. Hmm. Hey, I was studying!

I had the kind of sleepiness where my eyes got all teary and prickly. I nearly fell asleep (even though I sat waaaay in front) and even my classmates could tell that I was beyond the limitations of sleepiness.

But, so what? I had a good one hour nap this afternoon. Hahaha.

I saw a CBNer's MySpace just now. Looked through her pictures. Laughed by myself. Haha.

I think I just swallowed my vomit. Or maybe I just burnt my eyes, since I can't see clearly now. MY LAWD, MY EYES! o.O



Sunday, September 6
10:51 PM

We got a new TV today! Well, last night, actually, but we only just put it up earlier today. Thanks Abg Azlan! :D

Now tengok TV best, the screen's nearly as wide as 50 inches. Woot!

Studying really takes the energy out of you. I've found that studying during the fasting month is quite a challenge, since you don't eat during the day. And plus, it's easier to study with a glass of mineral water to supply oxygen to the brain. But, it's okay. I still have two weeks after the fasting month to study :)

I think I'm beginning to love Sejarah now. It's easy, actually, to study Sejarah. No matter how boring it gets, the facts really get into your head if you really focus on the words. In my own opinion, mind-mapping doesn't help. Sure, lots of colours, lots of branches coming from here and there but it doesn't really help me much. I wouldn't know where the storyline started and where it ended.

So, reading it is. Just reading and underlining the important points really help me. And of course, I would do a topical exercise straight after that, just so that the facts that I just got into my head wouldn't escape again. Sigh.

I wish my mind were like God's. He doesn't forget anything, He remembers everything.

Oh well. There's a challenge.

I've already put on my I'm-here-for-you face for tomorrow. I'm about to show one of my friends something so bitter to me and to her, so I'm fully prepared to cheer her up, just in case. Even though what I'm about to show her is not something about me, it's still very offensive and reading it just makes me feel aggravated beyond the limit.

Girls nowadays. All they can think of are fighting and back-stabbing and being such hypocrites. But still, they give character, just like what they gave me ;)

Gerak Gempur tomorrow. Sejaraaaaaaaah. I hope my results will improve on Sejarah after this. Amin.

You know what I've just realised? I'm never fully satisfied with my English marks. I know I write well and I don't mean to boast, but sometimes when I try to crack my brain for a more high-level sentence, it always comes out wrong.......to the examiner. It's so frustrating. When I know that my sentence is correct, I know it's correct.

Is my vocabulary too complicated to understand or are the examiners simply have a low-standard in English? Sigh.

Again, that's me pouring a jug of water into the lake.



4:14 PM

You......
...disgust me.
...revolt me.
...despise me.
...love to make a huge fuss out of something.
...are so bloody insecure.
...like to make the wrong statements about something.
...looove to exaggerate.
...make people puke.
...think you're so cool, but you're such a twat.
...look like a whore. Act like one, too.
...make the wrong assumptions.
...have a FREAKING LOUD VOICE.
...simply make me dizzy, nauseous, annoyed, and irritated.
...have I mentioned you're annoying?
...love to FREAK OUT over the smallest things.
...love to draw attention to yourself (thus making all of us, the people around you, puke out blood).
...are simply mean.

Since we are girls, and we stab each other in the back (like you ALWAYS do lah kan, like your own profession, or talent), I don't see why there's harm in me doing it too. I mean, it's not like I am specifically pointing all of this to someone, or write the person's name to humiliate her. Ha. Ha.

You're a bunch of idiots, haha your names rhyme with it too. If I were to label you, and I don't mean to sound like a high-class snob (which I'm not), I'd say you're a bunch of low-life drug-addicts who simply don't care about anything, just your lives. Pathetic. It's annoying. I don't really care if you have no freaking goals in your pathetic lives, but the part the makes you draw attention to yourselves just make me puke. You're so loud and noisy. I don't see why you love to vibrate other people's eardrums with your deafening voices and SCREAMS. It's like badgering a hammer with full impact into our eardrums, you know?

Haha, I feel like laughing. I simply don't care of the consequences of me doing all this. I'm pretty sure you know I'm talking to you, you can't be "that dumb", riiiiight? You still have your mind, you just don't use it wisely hahahahaha.

Bunch o' low-lives.
Go find one.



Saturday, September 5
10:10 PM

Can't believe it's my third post of the day =.="

I'm studying Sejarah like hell. Fine, we may not get along like two peas in a pod, but I'm trying! See? At least I'm trying. At least I'm not some kind of drop-out who relies on luck to succeed. Err, reality check my darling, LUCK DOESN'T BUY YOU SUCCESS. Sigh. Effort. It's ALL the effort. No, wait, effort comes from attitude. Yeah, it's all in the attitude.

Maybe I'll finally learn to love Sejarah and find it easy in the end. I wish. I HOPE. It's just like a novel...about politics and conquer and blah blah blah. Reading novels? For me? Pffft, no problem! I can finish a 400-page book in a day if I wanted to (which would result in me buying more books to read, thus burning a massive hole in my parents' pocket, heh heh)

To be honest, I'm stressing on Maths and Science. I LOVE those two subjects and I have no doubts that I'll be able to get an A on that. But still, you can't be too confident. I hope I'll have no trouble, I hope. Getting into the science stream is on my to-do-list, and you can't be in the science stream if you can't even major in Maths and Science. I think Maths and Science really make the cogs and gears in my brain to work. Like, REALLY work. Especially Mathematics; it makes you think (not to mention smart, when you solve a problem hehehehe).

I've covered the first five chapters of Sejarah in the form three syllabus. I have two more chapters to go, and I'm hoping I'll be able to cover them all by the end of the week. I still have 32 more days to try and really put my effort in not only Sejarah, but also the other subjects. I'm really yearning for that 8A's. I can see myself already, holding the straight A's certificate. I just don't know what's holding me back.

Oh, wait, right, I DO know what's holding me back......

Distraction, laziness, online online online.

Burger Shop 2. Hehehehe.

Tengok MySpace orang and then gelak. Hihi.

Yang last tu mintak penyepak sikit :)

All I can do now is study and pray hard. I'm pretty guilty to admit this, but I think the I'm-gonna-die-because-of-exams thing is pretty immature. In my opinion lah. Didn't ask you to agree. And I'm guilty to admit that, because I was like that before this. Haha. What a hiperbole. Macam budak-budak! With luck, I'll be able to go through PMR smoothly...and pass with flying colours. I can do this, of course I can. We all can. It's all about the attitude, whether or not you're lazy, and how diligent you are. Without diligence, you won't fill up your agendas. Like DUH.

I tend to slap myself when I fail to get an answer correct for Sejarah. What a sadistic -.-"

Well, my determination is there. All that's holding me back is laziness, and THIS! This, the internet, the computer games, blaaaah.

You know, sometimes I beseech the dude who came up with the internet, but sometimes I just want to kill him. Sigh.

I wonder how things will be now if there were no internet. Jeng jeng jeng.

Hmm, the inability to do research.

No computer games.

No downloading music (illegally, heheh)

Tak boleh nak cari boyfriend on the internet. Oh daaaamn guuurl! HAHAHAHA.

Yang last tu memang mintak tapak kaki kat perut :)



4:51 PM

I've found a solution to overcome my blunt-ness in Sejarah. Yippee!

I knew my mind-mapping wasn't going to help. Hehehe.

If my friends who got an A in Sejarah can really succeed in Sejarah by just reading the textbooks/reference books like a novel, following the storyline and understanding what they're trying to convey, then why can't I?

I find that it really helps. Really.

My effort in mind-mapping was like pouring a jug of water into the lake.

I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel!



2:55 PM

I woke up late today. Haha. Well, technically I woke up late. I first exited my dreamland at around 8.30am, then I went back to sleep since I felt dizzy and tired. Then I woke up again, at 10.30. Went back to sleep, still too tired. By 11.30, I woke up again. But this time, I lay in bed, wasting my time. Tidur, bangun, tidur, bangun.

Daydream sikit. Hehehe.

By 1.30 I was out of bed already. I don't know why, but I feel so lethargic today. I feel like sleeping all day. I know I'm not fasting today -- it's the time of the month where I get my P -- but I don't feel like eating, anyway. So I just ate a granola bar, a date, and a slice of cake before showering. I knew I needed all the sugar I can get so that I can reenergize myself...and to prevent me from fainting again. Fainting? Na'uh, not something you'd want to experience in your life.

I've already showered. Washed my hair, shampooed it, just like I always do everyday. I'm the kind of girl who likes to have a fresh head of clean hair everyday. I can't stand it when my scalp gets all grimy, even though it hasn't travelled down my hair shafts yet. And, I think, washing my hair makes me feel like as if I've been reenergized. I just looooove to feel fresh!

I don't know why, but I've been getting stomachaches these days. At least once or twice I've been attacked by that excruciating pain in the abdomen in a day. It sucks! I can't say it's food-poisoning, since I barely eat these days. Maybe it's all gas...hmm...I'm "windy" when it comes to the fasting month ;)

*FAAAAART*

Go away, stomachache. Sigh.

I'm supposed to be studying now. Gerak Gempur is in two days. Two.

Ama is getting on my nerves now. Tak habis-habis dengan "Friends Forever" dia tu. Haha. Eee nak muntaaaaahahahaha. If tak pon, cirit x)

Ama Me

Weeeeeh Imaaaaan, bestfriends you!
Pegi mati.
Friends forever! Sooooo sweet!
No such thing la. That's the kind of thing yang keluar from my butt. Hahaha.
Friends foreverrrrr....!

=.=



Friday, September 4
6:25 PM

Gerak Gempur, oh Gerak Gempur. Looks like we'll finally, officially meet in exactly three days.



Hmm.



Bring it on. Hiyaaakkkk!



Thursday, September 3
4:28 PM


I've updated my page a bit, if you've noticed. I spruced up the whole thing by adding a splash of two of my favourite colours (which I couldn't decide between red and purple to be the main theme). So I thought, hey, why not merge those two colours together? :)

It's been a while since I've updated my Flickr. It's been a while since I killed my boredom by filling up my time with photography.

Sigh. I miss photography. It's just that there are no interesting things that I can think of to make a unique picture. Double sigh.


Thinking of photography reminds me of FRIM. Oh FRIM. I love that place! It's so cool and cold and so green, and when you enter the rainforest you feel like as if you are protected by the trees, and your mind gets peaceful. I wonder when I get to go there again. Ever since earlier this year, my passion for photography in nature seems to be proliferating. I'm not much of a photographer who would take pictures of people, since I don't know how to react with one. I'm more of a still-life, nature-esque photographer. Heh heh. I'm a photographer. I like that. Haha.


I miss FRIM. Thinking of it brings back so many memories :')

I'm trying to work my butt off studying. This gerak gempur thing is next week, and I haven't covered all the chapters in those eight freaking subjects yet. Ma lawd!

I don't know why, but I seem to end up in tears when I can't get the answers right in a set of question papers, especially history and geography and science. Makes me feel like a reject, like a disappointment, really. Sigh.

I'm starting to think negatively here. Drat. I hate history. Hate it hate it hate it. Never liked it. It's all crrrrrap. I admit that I don't seem to understand what I read everyday for history, I only understand what is said in the book. I don't understand what lies beneath those words, because history is not my friend. It was never a friend of mine.

I know I'm supposed to love the country and all, blah blah blah, but honestly our history sucks. To me, I find it repulsively boring. It's like my own antidote for insomnia. Literally.

If I can understand maths and science, why can't I understand history? Simple. Because history doesn't favour me, that's why. I can never seem to understand what lies over and beyond. The principle of learning history is simple, you just have to understand it. I...I don't understand it. And I never will. History will never help me in my career, mark my words.

I'm so stressed right now. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't feel like speaking. Oh, leave me alone, pllllease. I just want to be alone. I want to be by myself, in my own coccoon where I can just switch off my system and dream all I want.

PMR is a great burden, I tell you. I can't wait to get it off my chest!



3:10 PM

Do I have to encounter you everyday?

Do I have to clean up after your sick mess everyday?

And most importantly, do you have to exist in my life? You wasteful piece of toxin.



Wednesday, September 2
9:11 PM

I slapped myself because I couldn't figure out a few answers for a topical Science exercise.

And mainly because I screwed the trial exams...which sucked to the point where you just feel like tearing the papers apart and burning them to ashes, and then scatter them into the boiling magma of a volcano.

I've cried for two days in a row because I've failed this time. I did not fail any papers, but to me I feel like I've failed. Because when you get to the top, or nearly there anyway, falling down is like having more impact. It's devastating, disappointing, and frustrating.

I was driven to this. If it weren't for my parents' support, I wouldn't've become a perfectionist. But still, I like to be a perfectionist. When you're a perfectionist, you don't accept failure...and you don't seem to approve of the term "at least I passed".



6:56 PM

Hi, hello,

So, you like to copy blogs eh? I'm sure you're bound to read this, "Nisha", whoever the fuck you are who is snatching stuff from other people's websites.

Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you post this post on your blog? It has the same title, right? And the same exact post that I wrote about a woman who showed up on Oprah, yeah you got it right? I know you do.

Haha. My God, I don't even know who you are (trying to be). I don't know what kind of psychotic plans you've got up your sleeves, but couldn't you be more original? It may seem like such a small deal to you, but it's a big BIG BIG deal to me. Anyone who knows me can tell you straight to your face how I'm an individualist and I hate to be mentally badgered by copycats like you.

And, I may seem calm now, but you have no clue on what's going on in my head. I move like a silent predator and again, you have no clue what I'm capable of.

Think I'm being nice?


Click to enlarge! Does this blog seem familiar to you, Nisha? Yeah, NOW I'm being nice. See, I'm publicizing your blog. I'm making you famous! FREE. OF. CHARGE.

Want more fame? HERE, I'll post the URLs to your freaking blog and your MySpace.

http://www.myspace.com/mikajess
http://nshpublicenemy.blogspot.com/

I know you're snatching things from other people's blogs as well. I'm not the only one who's avenged against you.

Sheesh, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Hi, hello, HOI,

In which part of hell did you come from?

Like Qila said, nasib baik kau tak ada chatbox. Kalau tak....................



Tuesday, September 1
5:42 PM

I'm a perfectionist.
I don't approve of failures.
I'm a bookworm.
My sense of logic is beyond the limit.....

And yet.......

The gears and cogs in my brain have failed me. They're rusty, despite the number of exercises I've done. Be gone!

I'm sorry. I've failed this time.



Archives

\ <data:blog.pageTitle/>