Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)


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Wednesday, December 31
2:54 PM

Earlier today I went out to lunch with my sister and my dad. We went to a nearby KFC outlet. As usual, I ordered something else besides the famous fried chicken -- KFC's fried chicken always gets to me; it makes me feel nauseous once I take the tenth or fifteenth bite. Instead of like everyone else, I ordered the yummy Twister. Was it just me or was the Pepsi a little too sweet than before?

When I was on the way home just now, the road was a bit jammed. We were stuck in the jam for a few minutes only. While I was in the car, there were a few billboards to my left. As usual, I looked out the windows whenever I'm cruising in a car, it's more fun that way. Since we were stuck in the jam, I just stared at the billboards. They were college advertisements.

Time seemed so slow while I was staring at it. The first billboard showed a picture of a few students in the library. The second billboard illustrated a picture of some people in a pharmacy lab. The third one had a picture of radiography. And the rest, I forgot.

What really captured me were the pictures of the pharmacists and the one with the radiologists. Somehow, the billboards inspired me. I was just staring at the billboards, expecting nothing. But I didn't get nothing at all. I got inspiration and motivation.

The billboards made me aspire to become a doctor, or a pharmacist, or a radiologist. Someone who does medication. That's who I want to be when I grow up, someone who cures or helps people in their time of need.

This is so the right time to become inspired and motivated. My PMR exam is in less than twelve months, that's all the time I've got to really study as best as I can. I wish to make my family proud by getting at least 7A's for PMR. It'd be better if I get straight A's.

Call me a nerd, call me a geek, but I'm not the one who's going to regret anything. I've done my new year's resolutions and I'm looking forward to fulfill it. Right now, school is the only thing important to me. I don't really have the time to care about insults and condemnation and blah dee blah blah. You have no idea how good it feels to be inspired and motivated at the same time. It's like having an adrenaline rush, when you're determined to fulfill your wishes.

Today is also the last day of 2008. I didn't really have a great year, but it wasn't that bad. I've had worse. I've tried a lot of new interesting things in 2008. Now, I'm looking forward to 2009. I just turned fourteen last month, so I'm going to act like a fourteen year old. I'm not a small girl anymore. I'm going to stay fourteen for another eleven months, after that, helloooooo fifteen.

It seemed like just yesterday it was the first day of 2008. And now, tomorrow is 2009. I'm leaving 2008 behind, along with the many bad things I've done. In a way, 2008 made me stronger and more stable. I've learned a lot of lessons from my mistakes, I've faced so many horrible things, and that was actually good because it made me stronger. 2008 was a good year, not so great, but good enough. I'm looking forward to facing the more complicated challenges in 2009 :)



Monday, December 29
7:17 PM

I've been taking a whiff of nature for the past couple of days, I mean literally. Yesterday I went to a plain field for a photography session, and the place smelt like grass. Earlier today, I went to the National Zoo and it smelt like . . . well . . . mostly animal poop.

I left the house early this morning, at around 8.45am. We decided to go to the zoo early so that there wouldn't be too many people crowding up our pathways. It was a good thing that we went early too, because some of the animals were active; like the hippos, they were out of the water. I also brought an SLR camera to practise on my photography skills.

Even the parking lot reeked of animals. But it was just the parking lot, I knew it was about to get worse. And hey, I was right!

We went around the zoo for a few long hours. The soles of my feet weren't sore at all after walking for hours. I had the best walking shoes on; go New Balance! Woo!

I was completely amazed by the hippos. I was amazed by the size of one of the hippos. It . . . was . . . HUUUGE! The size of the hippo was like . . . five or six times bigger than me. It's so fat and big. Haha.

I gotta admit, when I look back at the photos of the hippos that I snapped with the SLR camera, I'd feel a tight knot in my stomach and a lump at my throat. The picture made me feel nauseated, somehow. But when I was looking at the hippos back at the zoo, it was clear that they were secreting blood-like sweat. The hippos were only a few meters out of my reach and I could see clearly enough that they sort of . . . bleeding. That's what I thought at first, they were bleeding. But actually, they were secreting some kind of oil from their body. It was actually sweat that looked like blood. It's their way of cooling off their bodies. Really cool, but disgusting.

So we walked and explored every segment of the zoo. I gotta admit, the highlight of the day was when Kak Lea nearly got sprayed by one of the animals. She was taking a few pictures of the cow-like animal, but she got too close. The animal [I don't know what the heck it is called in English] got closer to Kak Lea. I think it was deranged or something.

At that time, Kak Intan and I could see some mucus dripping from its nose. It heaved its heavy breath and the mucus sprayed everywhere. That was the first shot, so both Kak Intan and I ran away from it. Buuuttt . . . Kak Lea got even closer to the animal. It started to heave its heavy breath again, spreading even more mucus everywhere. Kak Lea jumped on time to avoid getting hit by the disgusting mucus. Haha. It was a funny scene!

I had a really fun time at the zoo. Not really fond of the price of the food and beverages though. It's freaking expensive; except a few stalls.

Today, I snapped more than 300 pictures, which was 200 more than yesterday. It was a really fun experience. I had a really good time there and I got a lot of good pictures. Woot!

Pictures can be found HERE. Click the link and it'll lead you to my Flickr profile, where the pictures are uploaded. Enjoy!

Oh, and I just ate the most delicious spaghetti for dinner. Kak Intan cooked up a really delicious batch of really delicious spaghetti. I yearned for a second serving of spaghetti after the first one, but I was already full and plus, I want to eat the spaghetti tomorrow. So, yeah. Excellent dinner, I must say.



Sunday, December 28
11:31 AM

Again, I woke up early today. But earlier than yesterday. I woke up at 5.40am. Nice.

I quickly took a shower and I put on my clothes. I was surprised to find myself fully awake instead of half-dead. After about twenty minutes, I was all set and ready.

Nobody was awake apart from me, Kak Lea, and my dad by six in the morning. Kak Lea was going to take me to a photoshoot at some plain land somewhere in a secret location; heh heh. Well, actually, I volunteered to come along because I wanted to learn more about photography hence boosting my photography skills. The project was sunrise.

By six in the morning, Kak Lea and I left the house. I had a bottle of Twister orange juice with me, so I drank it down while on the way to Studio W, Kak Lea's friend's photo studio. I also got a camera of my own, which was as good as any other professional SLR camera, which I borrowed from the studio. By six thirty, we left the studio and headed off to the plain lands of nowhere.

When we arrived there, I was completely breathtaken. There was nothing interesting at the sight of the plain land, just a massive messy field. It looked like a meadow field. But the scenery, it was beautiful. It looked like a place where you'd find in a movie, just dry fields. Something like a desert.

I started snapping pictures immediately after I arrived at the location. I didn't really take a lot of pictures, maybe about 100 something. Trust me, when it comes to photography, the definition of "a lot" means three hundred or more. Heh.

I didn't expect to be in the pictures snapped by the other photographers, but I was wrong. I ended up being in some of the pictures snapped by others. Heehee.

Pictures can be found HERE <---click! But I will upload more soon, since I'll be getting more pictures by tonight [hopefully].

After about nearly two hours of shooting, we headed off to a nearby restaurant for breakfast. I was very hungry and I felt like as if I was going to faint. I wasn't planning on eating anything big, but I ended up eating a plate of really good nasi lemak and toast with butter.

I had so much fun at the shooting. I didn't regret even one bit of waking up super early in the morning just to make it. I was glad that I went there. I had learn something new today.

I wonder when we're going to the zoo though . . .



Saturday, December 27
10:47 PM

It felt like just yesterday it was the starting of school holidays. And now, school will reopen in exactly nine days. Way to go.

Today was a little different for me compared to other days. I woke up early in the morning at 7am. I found it pretty odd that it was quite effortless for me to wake up at that specific time, considering that I slept kinda late last night. After I woke up, I went to wash my face and brush my teeth. I was going to the park to jog.

Kak Lea took me to the park at around 8am, one hour late [heh heh]. I walked a little before beginning to jog.

I went two rounds around the park. I walked during the first round, and then I jogged during the second round. The park was kinda big, by the time I jogged halfway, I was already tired. I haven't been jogging for a few months so I've lost my fitness. My metabolism is probably slower than before, nyehehe.

After walking and jogging around the park with Kak Lea, she took me to a restaurant nearby. We bought three huge packs of nasi lemak for the rest of our family.

When we got home, we found Kakcik, Mama, and Abah in the kitchen. My mum cooked up some delicious cokodok for breakfast. I took a seat at the dining table. The smell of cokodok [a traditional food that consists of bananas and flour] drifted into my nose. I was very hungry.

I ate half of one pack of nasi lemak. Then I ate the cokodok. I found a pot of tea at the center of the dining table, so I poured myself a mug of tea. What a lovely start of the day; jogging in the morning, greeted by a delicious breakfast as we got home.

After I ate, I found myself to be very lethargic. My muscles felt weak and and lifeless and I was desperate to go for a nap. So that's what I did; I went to take a good one-hour-and-a-half nap. It was even hard for me to wake up from the nap.

After that, I went to take a shower. While I was on the way to my bedroom, I was literally half-asleep / half-awake. My feet kept going but my brain wasn't even a hundred percent awake at that time. And by the time I got under the shower hose, I nearly used my shampoo as a body wash. But I must admit, after showering, I felt really good and somehow rejuvenated. I smelt good, my hair was clean, my whole body was clean, and I was fully awake.

It felt like the jogging thing was yesterday. My day was so long that it feels like two separate days instead of one. Nyeeehhh.



Monday, December 22
8:07 PM

I've been going out and about these past few days. Not that I actually minded going out and exploring the outdoors, there's really nothing much to do at home.

During the weekend, I went to this clothes and accessories bazaar at Bangsar. It was actually a bazaar for obsessed online-shoppers [example given : me, Kakcik (she was the one who got me into it!!!)]. It was on for three days but I went on the last two days. Abg Azlan, Kak Lea, and Kakcik brought me to the bazaar. I wasn't expecting to get myself anything, actually. But my prediction became wrong. I ended up with a white formal shirt [which was not my first bargain!!!!]

On day two, I went only with Kakcik. Again, I didn't expect to get anything. But, in the end, I got a green and black checkered boyfriend shirt. The colour really enhances my skin tone.

Yesterday, I was awake as early as 7.30am. I had a good seven hours of sleep, so I guess I can't complain on that. The reason why I was awake so early is because I had to attend a wedding ceremony of a cousin. It's not what you think, the wedding wasn't in the morning. It was in the afternoon.

So I got up (while grumpily groaning to myself) and hit the shower. I was half-awake while I was showering until I nearly ended up using my shampoo to scrub my body. After that, I went to put on my blood red baju kurung, which is my favourite pair.

My appearance made me look . . . older. The blood red cotton of my clothes were dark and bold. The black eyeliner around my eyes made my eyes pop out and the loose bun on my head made me look a few years older. I didn't look like fourteen. But . . . hey, I was grumpy. I didn't really care how I looked like at that time.

I had to sit in the black Ford Escape for nearly an hour and a half to Banting, or whatever that place was called. My parents sat in front while my three sisters and I were cramped at the big space at the back. The chances of me or any of my sisters sitting in a cross-legged position were nil. We were supposed to gather at some villa, and then go to the wedding ceremony with our other relatives together. But, there were some delays.

So we waited for what seemed like hours. I was hungry and sleepy and my stomach was grumbling in protest. Luckily there were things to entertain us while we waited; TV and nasi lemak!

After about two or three hours, my family and I decided to head off to a cafe near the location of the wedding ceremony. My aunt and uncle and their son were there, too. The place we lingered at was called Bakaugruv. It was a very nice place, with a long driveway before you get to the parking lot.

We were greeted by two fishponds as we trotted to the cafe. The sun was up and shining brightly as ever, but luckily there was a shade to protect us. We reached a small bridge overlooking the small lake.

I really like the place. When I went inside the cafe, it didn't feel like a proper cafe at all. In fact, it felt like as if I was in someone else's home. Not the usual brick-wall bungalows, but like a house in the countryside. Everything was made of wood (except for the roof, of course) and it was a really beautiful place. There was a sitting area to read magazines and to watch the TV.

But before we had our drinks, my two sisters and my parents went to see the . . . beach. You wouldn't really call it a beach, we were far off from the coast. We had to walk what felt like a hundred meters to get to the place.

Well, I did enjoy walking to the place. We entered a small forest but the trees were out of our ways. Pokok paya bakau, they call it. We were walking on a stone platform with no railings at either sides, which was downright cool.

So we walked, and walked, and walked. When we reached the place where it was far off from the coast, I was completely breathtaken. We were standing under a quite big gazebo. I could smell the fragrance of the beach; salty air and water. The sounds of the waves from the beach further down the horizon were cooling and relaxing; it actually sounded like a ceiling fan.

When you look out the gazebo, you would've thought that you were actually looking out to the desert. But trust me, it wasn't a desert. The first thing that popped in my mind when I looked out the gazebo was, Wow, this looks like a place from Lion King. It looked like a desert, really.

There were also some old and gray leafless trees. The branches spread out into weird shapes that it looked kinda freaky. To be honest, the clear blue sky didn't really match with the old gray trees. It's like comparing happy and sad.

I found out that the water was just about to head our way, it usually does. And when the water would reach us -- far down below, it doesn't really hit us -- we would actually be walking on the water! I'm not really good at describing these kinds of things. Maybe a picture would represent almost a thousand words on the place. I was completely breathtaken and amazed at the beautiful scenery. It made me want to live in the countryside instead of the badly polluted and busy city.

After that, we had to leave for the ceremony. We found out that we were actually late. The "icing on the cake" was already passed. We got so pissed because nobody came or called to tell us to go to the place already. Undoubtedly, I put on my I-don't-want-to-be-here-cuz-I-hate-this face. The climate was hot, the air was very heavy. Luckily my dad only planned to eat there, have a small conversation, and leave.

I was very tired by the time I finished eating. I wanted to go home, pronto. I was suddenly becoming grumpy. I'd been up since early morning, it was hot, I was very tired and dehydrated, and I wanted to go home. By the time I reached home, I was more than tired.

It's been a packed week. I've had plans to go here and there, run some errands. I had fun, actually. And as for tomorrow, I'm going to get the supplies for school next year; school books and school clothes.

And oh, I so can't wait for Christmas day! I'm going to the zoo with my sisters! Okay, I know I sound so childish by saying that I'm overjoyed to go to the zoo, but hey, I don't get it everyday.

I'm tired. Mentally and physically.



Friday, December 19
4:02 PM

December. 2008.

I know I've been nagging on this for so long, but I really miss 2007. 2007; it happened to be one of the best years of my life. I don't know why. But 2007 was just . . . fun. Especially during the school holidays. Oh boy!

This year wasn't really a great year. Sure, many great things have happened but . . . I've experienced better days. I know, sometimes, whenever I'm stuck and stranded in some whacked crazy situation, I would completely despise it. But I know too, that later, I would actually miss the challenges that I've been through.

This year's end-of-year school holidays aren't as great as last year's. The house is more peaceful, everyone's got work outside of home to do, and it's usually just me and Kakcik occupying the house. Not that I mind it or anything. I mean, it's nice to have the house to ourselves. It's just nice to have some peace at home.

Last year, I used to have work to do. I still remember, there was a time when I was occupied with two jobs to finish. One; data entry. Two; designing a community T-shirt for a company. Of course, I couldn't and wouldn't complete job number two without the help of Kak Lea and Abg Hafiz :)

Not to mention I had a lot of money in my piggy bank that time. Now, I'm helplessly broke. I have no money left on me, since I was tempted to buy unnecessary stuffs this year -- that's why I'm deciding to sell some of my unwanted clothes online, heh heh.

I think I know why it was a whole lot fun during the school holidays last year. My brother still stayed at home, back then. Now he's across the ocean, fulfilling his dreams as a pilot. Last year, he was just as bit as bored as us [Kakcik and I]. We had nothing much to do at home, so that's when we started going out together to watch movies. Since then, we became the Loyal Movie Buddies! Cute, no?

Every movie trailer that we watched, we decided to go for it. We used to be suckers for movie trailers. Movie after movie, day after day. God knows how many movies we watched last year during the school holidays. It was fun, seriously. Oh and last year, my brother introduced me to my favourite band, Paramore. This year, he introduced me to a similar band called Guano Apes -- pronounced as goo-wa-no ehps, not Guano A-pes -_-". Despite the screaming and the weird music by Guano Apes, I actually like the band. Hey, what can I say? I like weird.

Okay, I have to admit, many interesting and unusual events happened last year. Like for example, when my parents left for Hajj. Of course, we all cried when they finally had to go to the land of purity. During the last minute we saw them, we couldn't hold back the tears that welled in our eyes. They were about to leave us for six weeks.

But it flew so fast. Time flew by like the gushing wind in a thunderstorm. During their absence, we took care of the house pretty well. It was actually like a lesson for us. A lesson to live on our own, to be independent among others, to work for ourselves instead of hoping a helping hand from other people. But still, without the help of our ex-housekeeper and our aunt, we wouldn't be able to take care of each other well.

Long story short, last year's school holidays were a whole lot better than this year's. I mean sure, I did have some fun this year too, but not as much fun as last year.

School is going to reopen in less than three weeks. I still haven't bought the exercise books and a new uniform. I wonder when that's gonna happen.

Sigh . . . maybe I should stop dwelling on the past and focus on the future. Who knows, maybe I might pick out better memories next year. *shrugs*



Thursday, December 18
11:57 AM

Dreams are not supposed to make sense right? Usually you'd dream of something that doesn't even make sense. The storyline is just. . .a jumbled mess. But. . .

Okay, I had a really weird dream last night. Nothing extraordinary there, I always have weird dreams. But this particular one. . .it felt so real. The colours were so vivid, everything I touched in the dream, I felt it. It felt like my whole body, not just my soul, entered this freaky dream.

It was scary, at the same time, pleasant. It was sad, but at the same time, happy. Long story short, the dream was something like a book I had read. The people, the storyline, everything! It was exactly like a book I'd read. Heck, I don't even know if I was actually dreaming.

It felt so, so real. It was so vivid, beyond words. The bright colours danced in front of my eyes. The sounds drifted into my ear canals. The smell? It was the smell of a combination of cologne and dust.

I still remember the dream clearly. Crystal clear. Usually, I won't remember the dreams that I had the night before. But other times, when the dreams tend to get vivid and forceful, that's when I remember it. I still remember this dream.

I'm being guarded by a person. No, not a person, a woman. I see an evil man. He has an evil grin on his face, and unfortunately, I happen to be his target. I'm being told to run while the woman tries to distract the evil man.

I run. I feel like I'm floating above the rough sandy ground as I force my legs to kick higher and more forceful. The cool air blows on my skin and my face, as if they're hard slaps. I look behind. The man is just a few meters behind me. I run faster, kicking my legs further and faster. My legs are screaming in protest and it feels like as if my legs just got out of their sockets.

I have no idea how fast and far I've run. I finally reach a group of people. They are staring at me. I go to the first person I see and tell him that I'm being chased by a kidnapper.

I'm immediately guarded by the person and a few of his friends. I'm safe now.

That was just part of the long dream.


It was weird alright. And to be honest, I want to have this dream again. It feels pleasant to watch. Heh heh.

My brain's probably not functioning well -_-"

Or maybe my soul is just daydreaming.

Are dreams supposed to make sense? Or are they supposed to convey you a message? I don't know. Could be both.

Oh and by the way, Kakcik made me become addicted and obsessed with online shopping!!!



Sunday, December 14
10:34 PM

It seemed like just yesterday my brother came home from Miri, and then we immediately went to Midvalley to eat dinner. Sighhhh. . .

It seemed like just yesterday my brother took my sister and I to Sungei Wang, and they both got me a pair of black jeans that I've been yearning for. Double sighhh. . . .

And it seemed like just yesterday the three of us [my brother, my sister, and I] went to watch Twilight and Wild Child. Triple sighhh. . . .

We're gonna miss you Barnickums!

I woke very early this morning. 7am. To be honest, it wasn't hard for me to wake up at all. First of all, I had a really scary dream before I woke up. I forgot what the dream was about, but it was just so creepy and scary. No, no monsters or ghosts or whatever. . . it was just weird. Whimsical.

After that scary nightmare I had, beads of sweat formed at my forehead. I was feeling very hot and sweaty from the dream. Nowadays, my dreams are just . . . weird. I mean, it's like they're trying to convey a message or something. But dreams aren't supposed to make sense, right?

So I woke up and hit the shower. It was time to go to the airport to send Barnickums [if you've noticed, we (my siblings and I) have different names for my brother. Like Barnickle, Barnacle, Barn, Barnzola, etc.] back to Miri. (Fortunately), there were no tickets available for the 10am flight. So, my brother bought a ticket to fly back to Miri for tomorrow night. One more day with him! Woot!

I got something new today. I'm starting a new life. I'm not gonna take risks anymore. By limiting myself, I can save my butt from anything harmful or dangerous.

By dawn, I was really, really lethargic and sleepy. I went to my room and then I found myself sprawled on the bed. I decided to take really short nap, fifteen minutes maybe, but I found myself dozing off for quite a long time. I slept for an hour. I only had five hours of sleep last night, minus the weird and scary dream.

And then I had to wake up. It was dinner time, but I didn't really feel like eating dinner. I wasn't hungry, nor was I full. I just didn't have the appetite. So I got up, took a really quick shower -- with the taste of metal in my mouth -- and I went off.

We went to this place near my house. My hair was dripping wet, it even got the back of my shirt damp. But I didn't care, it was just water anyway. To be honest, I didn't really like the place. First of all, it was full of smokers. I don't really like smokers. I mean, I hate smoke coming from tobacco. It makes me cough and it obviously makes me hard to breathe -- no, I'm not having asthma.

I absentmindedly and randomly ordered a plate of Chinese fried rice and a mug of iced Milo. It just came to me. I needed to eat, it didn't matter what was going in my tummy. When my plate arrived, I was overwhelmed at the way they served it. The portion was huge! I only managed to finish 1/3 of the portion.

Secondly, when I had like my fourth or fifth scoop of fried rice, something tasted funny. I didn't know what it was -- God knows! -- but it tasted very odd. I knew it was acid-ish, because it left a weird burning feeling at my tongue. I quickly chugged it down with my iced Milo. It was completely useless. The taste didn't wash down. So I just scooped some more rice into my mouth. The same weird taste came again. But, only then did I know where that weird taste came from. It was garlic. Badly chopped garlic, I swallowed and tasted. Eww! Even until now I can still taste the awful garlic. Yelgh.

So I stopped eating after that. I didn't want to taste anymore garlic.

Thirdly, it was during I was sipping some tomyam. It was in a huge bowl, since it was for everyone. Since I was done eating, I had to fill up the tomyam into a few small bowls. But, when the bowls -- and also the spoons -- arrived next to me, the first and only thing that came to my mind was, "Holy crap, is that even clean?". Okay, here's a thing, I'm a complete hygiene freak. I mean, come on! I never want to get food-poisoning again. There's the belly-ache and the headaches and the nausea and the vomit. Ew.

The bowls had some small bits of leftover food left. I had no idea if it was even washed or not, I didn't want to know. Same goes to the spoons. I didn't want to create any chaos, so I just dumped the tomyam into the bowls.

I was glad to leave the place. I don't like smoke, I don't like noisy places, especially when my mood is really really foul.

Right now, I'm having tea; made by Barnickums, hee hee. You know, when I first read that tea can make everything right, I thought it was just nonsense. But really, tea does make everything right. It calms my senses, it makes me feel relaxed, and not to mention the best cure for gastrics. Haha.

Barnickle's going back to Miri tomorrow :(



Thursday, December 11
11:15 PM

Wow wee, when I first opened my eyes today, I was already excited for the dinner at Pavilion. Well, nothing wrong so far.

After lunch, I followed Kakcik and Barn to Bangsar. We searched from boutique to boutique for a really beautiful skirt for a friend of ours. Okay, so again, nothing wrong there.

It was after I went home from Bangsar, after I showered. I was excited since there will be a family dinner at Pavilion a few hours later. I don't know why. I mean, I haven't been to Pavilion for quite some time, I kinda miss that place. So I rummaged through my closet to find whatever-it-is that was nice to wear. I ended up with a red printed-shirt and black jeans.

It was already 7.10pm, I went downstairs from my room. I wasn't skipping or hopping, but somehow it happened. As I reached the bottom third stair, *thump!

I fell. From the third stair, I fell. I landed on my palms and my knees. A few moments before I fell, I could've sworn I hit the last stair already before I fell. Really. But I guess not. And to make things "better", I broke my right ankle when I landed on my palms and knees.

The pain was excruciating. Thankfully, tears didn't end up falling down my cheeks. I didn't cry, amazing eh? But the pain was unbearable. I felt like as if somebody just chopped my foot off. It felt really numb, I couldn't move my toes, let alone the whole foot.

I sat for a few minutes at the bottom of the stairs, moaning in pain. I didn't move drastically, afraid that it'll hurt my ankle more. I tried to relax my legs, but the pain still wouldn't go. Even now, when I relax my foot, I still feel the pain.

I stood up without failure. I tried to walk. Yes, I can walk. But, really, if you didn't know that I sprained my ankle, you would've mistaken me for walking with a lizard up my butt. I can't walk properly without limping to one side.

My right ankle is very, very sore. The size is twice as big as its average size. It would've been easily mistaken for some weird growth at my ankle there. It's bruising, it's big, and it looks like a ball is trying to escape from it. Argh, it's a disgusting sight, really.

I hope I'm gonna see the doctor. Really badly sprained ankles are not really designed to give yourself a home-treatment.



Wednesday, December 10
7:53 PM

I've been going out since Monday for three days in a row. Some were planned, some were not.

Today, I went to Midvalley to watch Wild Child. But, before that, we went to eat lunch first. Well, more like a late lunch, actually, since nothing were prepared back at home before we left. We were thinking of eating at the Food Junction, but somebody suggested that we ate at Carls Jr. So that's what we did, eat at Carls Jr, I mean.

Okay, I know this sounds weird and odd, but I've never been to Carls Jr. Never. Well, not until a few hours ago, anyway. Well, I'm like a local resident of Midvalley, I go there often, but I've never been to eat at Carls Jr. Haha :p

Wild Child was a great movie. Emma Roberts looked really pretty in the movie. But, I'm not so sure whether I can say that I'm happy about the ending. The ending wasn't so much of an ending (for me).

After watching Wild Child, we [me, Barn and Kakcik] went home. I was thinking that we'd go out again for dinner, but thankfully we didn't. I was tired to go out again. Oh, and I wore my new black jeans today :)

Mumsy cooked dinner. Did I tell you that she's an awesome cook? Honestly, I'm not just saying that she's a great cook just because she's my mom, but she really cooks the best meals ever. I know, I know, you've heard about the cliche line, "My mom is the best cook," blah blah blah. But really, you've got to taste my mom's cooking. She knows how to cook everything!

We got an unexpected visit by Abg Azlan. Heheh. I was playing the piano when he arrived in front of our gate. From where I was sitting when I played the piano, the front gate of our house can be seen. But it was dark, I was too engulfed playing the piano, so I didn't see Abg Azlan until I finished playing a melody, which was like a few minutes? But, I gotta admit, even though [I was told] that I played a nice song, I felt embarrassed. I mean, I don't really feel comfortable showing people my talents. Don't ask why.

Had a great day. I'm excited about tomorrow, though. I'm going to dinner at Pavilion with my family. Woot. It's been a while since I went to Pavilion.



Tuesday, December 9
7:26 PM

I'm swamped. I feel so tired, so sleepy, so lethargic. My heels are screaming from walking a long distance and my head is pounding with hammers. *thump thump thump*
I woke up surprisingly early today -- compared to the days before, when I woke up at 11++ -- and I felt good to be up as early as eight. My brother took my sister and I out shopping! Haha, well, not literally.
I went to Sungei Wang with Barn and Kakcik. It wasn't planned, but hey, I decided, since I had nothing better to do, might as well I just follow them. The last time I went to Sungei Wang was like . . . twelve months ago :p
I didn't expect that I'd end up buying something. Well, I've been looking for black jeans and dark blue, sort of denim-ish, Converse shoes -- false alarm, I'm not trying to portray how a Rempit would look like. I figured that I'll earn the money first, then only I'd go and get the stuff. I was only intending to look at stuff at Sungei Wang, just to check out the price. But, I was lucky to get what I've been wanting. Alhamdulillah.
We practically roamed the whole building for black jeans (boot cut, not skinny) and the dark-blue Converse. The first few tries went like this :
a) Black jeans were found everywhere.
b) Too bad they're all carrot-cutted instead of a boot-cut.
c) As for the found boot-cut black jeans?
d) Either too expensive or too big (you'd be surprised of how small my waist is, and yet I'm still not surprised that I still have to wear a belt on my favourite jeans, which I bought two years ago).
But, as we searched and searched -- with the help of Kakcik and Barn -- I finally found the right pair of black jeans. Boot-cut, really really black, and not too big. Unfortunately, it was a tad expensive. But, the person gave us 25% discount, which was the best he could give.
I gotta admit, it's really hard to find jeans -- or pants, for that matter -- in my size. I've got a really small body. It's not really a bad thing or anything, I mean, I'm really small. Puny, little, nano. Which means that, if I wear my clothes, the parts where my skin are covered with fabric can still breathe. I never fancied tight clothing, I mean, trashy much? How on Earth do you breathe with those things?
So I got the black jeans. Kakcik and Barn paid first. I had an idea to sell the clothes that I don't/never wear online, so the money from the clothes would immediately proceed to Kakcik and Barn. I love the black jeans, even though it's just plain black. But, it still has gold-threaded embroideries at the pockets. Cool eh?
I got the black jeans. Now I'm looking for a pair of dark-blue, denim-ish Converse sneakers. Well, good things come to those who wait right?



Saturday, December 6
8:39 PM

I speak for a dear beloved.

Life is cruel. Life is hard. You face challenges, you deal with them. You fall down, you stumble.

I have never met an imbecile so brainless and dumb like you.

I have never met anyone so cruel and heartless like you.

I have never met a blind person who has two eyes that work perfectly . . . like you.

Hurting myself is one thing. But hurting the people that I love? That's just insanely absurd.

When other people hurt the people that you love and care about, doesn't it make you feel like battering the "other people" and just stab them to death? Well, it does to me.

For someone "good-looking", you really are blind. Hear me out, darling. You're nowhere near good. You're evil, selfish. You don't care about the people you love, you're too blunt to realise what you've been doing. You're too blunt to realise what you're causing.

God gave you a pair of eyes. From what I can tell, your eyes are working perfectly. But I just don't see how you can be so . . . blind. You really are blind, there's no doubt in that. You just can't see what's in front of you, what's going on right in front of your brown eyes. It's evidently obvious that you're hurting other people. You're just too blind to see it.

Congratulations, you got what you wanted. Are you happy now? Satisfied? Because I'm sure, one day you'll regret your biggest mistake. I kid you not, you're so going to regret it. I'll be watching you with eyes full of hatred, and I'll be talking to you with a voice so acidic that it burns right through you. Don't think your good qualities will attract other people, but, I'm sure that's not what you're aiming for. You got what you wanted. Nobody stopped you. Hoorah!

Walk the plank, the sea is just a foot away from you.






Wednesday, December 3
8:40 PM

I still can't believe that I didn't sleep last night. Well, I did, but just for an hour. But that doesn't count right? And of course, it is inevitable that my eyes were freakishly bloodshot. You can see the tiny red veins appearing on my white eyeballs. Heh heh.

Sleeping is evidently hard for me, I just don't know why. My bed is comfy enough, but that's not the problem. The problem is me. It seems like I'm immune to sleep. I can't sleep! Right now, I'm actually very sleepy. My eyes are more bloodshot, as I was told.

My eyes are stinging. I should sleep . . . pretty soon.

Oh, I got the last copy of The Host by Stephenie Meyer, one of my favourite authors. The last copy. I was so lucky! Woot!

I'm not surprised that it's actually hard for me to put down the book. Stephenie Meyer is a great author, I like . . . scratch that, I love the way she writes! Kudos to you, Miss Meyer!



6:03 AM

I've already got a buyer for the books I'm selling! Woot! Maybe I can start selling more stuff here, heh heh.

It's six in the morning. I'm awake and I've watched Twilight for the second time (ha ha).

I couldn't sleep. My eyes are tired, stinging from the sleepiness. Even though my eyes were closed all along, with three comfortable pillows underneath my head and a really plush queen-sized mattress, I still couldn't fall asleep.

I went to bed at 1am. Before that, I read a novel first so that my eyes would become very tired. It worked. But who said it'll make you fall asleep? 

My eyes are really tired. I'm practically squinting at the computer screen now. 

I managed to fall asleep at two. Then somehow, I was awakened at three, an our after I was just about to settle in and fall asleep. And since then, I've been twisting and turning and sighing, until now. Time flew by fast. Three hours felt like three minutes, really.

I'm really sleepy. Then again, I can't sleep. It's already six anyway, might as well I just wake up and start the day fresh. There's really no use of getting back to sleep, since I'm dead awake and it's going to be dawn soon. Well, at least I got my wish; waking up early instead of late during the day. *shrugs*

This sucks. For the past few days, I couldn't sleep. It took me like at least one hour to settle in and to fall asleep. If it's stress, what could I possibly be stressing about anyway? And plus, I would feel the stress, but I don't. Arrggghhh, can't a girl get some sleep without anything interfering her thoughts? Sheesh.

I'm so going to become nocturnal, wanna bet?



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