Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)


HTTP://WWW.FLICKR.COM/IMAN_NEDHIERA



Friday, August 28
4:09 PM

I'm loving the weather today :) It's so nice and cloudy and cool, not hot like the hottest desert in Arizona, or the Sahara desert, or whatever. Yeaaah. Bliss!

Not doing anything much today. I'm supposed to study but I'm too hungry for that now. Hahaha.

I want Burger King's fried mozzarella sticks! :(

Now I'm listening to my most jiwang playlist ever, I've just realized that. Haha. This playlist reminds me of the school holidays back when I was in form one, where there were a lot of good memories to remember. Sighhhh.

What, don't believe me is it? You wanna know my jiwang playlist? You wannonot? *nudge nudge wink wink*

Nah, fuhgedaboudid. Bahahahaha.



Thursday, August 27
11:00 PM

I can't believe tomorrow is already FRIDAY! Dang flabbit! I still haven't done my Science presentation, PJK punya pon tak siap lagi. Hahahaha. The hell with PJK.

"Penyakit-penyakit yang berjangkit"

Pfft. *Toilet flush*

I've been feeling very weak since Tuesday. I'm not liking the holidays much, and I know most of you would call me a freak because of that. It's too peaceful when I wake up, knowing that my siblings and my parents are all working and that I'm alone at home, and then by the time it's noon I'd be stir crazy.

When I woke up on Tuesday morning, that is, after the super duper long nap I took after sahur, I somehow felt fire. Felt it. It was burning my skin, somehow, and I just wanted it to go away. My breath felt hot, extremely hot, and I was sweating. During the moments between me being conscious and then unconscious and vice versa before that, I suddenly felt cold. I was shivering all over, and I had to curl myself up in a ball to retain my body heat. I even slipped my arms under my shirt and hugged my abdomen tight so that I wouldn't freeze to death.

I was cold before I woke up. When I woke up, I was hot. Feeling very hot. My breath was hot, my body temperature was hot. My head felt heavy, too. When I asked my father to feel my neck, he said my body temperature was burning hot. It was then when I started crying. I mean, come on...there's this major H1N1 thing going on everywhere, and having fever is one of the symptoms, there was no way I could not cry. I didn't want to be a victim, no way. Na'uh.

So then, my father took me straight to the clinic. Luckily there weren't many people there, whew. I was already on the verge of fainting when I was walking from the car to the clinic, and back. I even had to hold on to my dad's arm for support, just in case. The doctor gave me a few prescriptions, of course. She said I was having high fever, yep.

Went home. Swallowed those pills, snoozed off. When I woke up, it was hot. The weather was hot, my body temperature was burning. I was sweating, too, which meant that it was good, as sweating helps to cool down my body. Of course, I've already buka puasa back then. But, despite that, I didn't eat anything the whole day. I only consumed a few glasses of water, and that was it. I had no appetite to eat, and looking at food just made me nauseous.

I practically slept the whole day. I hadn't showered as my body system was too weak to do any work. So, by the time it was nearly Magrhib, about an hour before that, I decided to get up and clean myself up. When I was entering the shower box in my bathroom, I was suddenly feeling deaf. Confused and clueless, I ignored it. Aaaaaand the next thing that happened was when I knew I was failing to stay conscious.

When you're about to faint :

1. Your vision will be black. You won't see anything, just blackness.
2. You start to feel deaf as well.
3. Then you fall unconscious.
4. And the next thing you know, you're lying on the floor, motionless.

I fainted in the bathroom, but luckily I was fully dressed. My vision started to go black, and then I fell. I hit my head pretty hard on the glass of the shower cubicle, but I didn't feel any pain. I was still a bit unconscious. I lay motionless for a few minutes in the corner of the shower cubicle, my head resting on the wall. I was starting to get wet as well, from the water that covered the floor tiles.

Then I decided to pull it together. I walked out of the bathroom, headed towards my sister's room as she was the closest person I could possibly reach that time. I remember slamming my hand on her door and opening it without even hearing her answer. Then I remember aiming for her bed, just in case if I was about to faint again, but I missed. The last thing I remembered before fainting again was my sister shouting. I guess she saw me about to fall, so that's why she screamed.

So, yeah. I fainted twice in one day, and it was excruciating. My body system was too weak for any kind of activity; I couldn't even speak right. When my sister hoisted me up on to her bed, I just wanted the pain to go away. I wanted my fever to go away, I wanted my body system to pull it together. A few minutes later, my sister brought back a can of 100Plus and a box of chocolates. I only managed to sip at least half of the 100Plus and one Hawaiian Host chocolate. I couldn't take it anymore. I was in no mood to eat, and I was simply a damsel in distress.

About an hour of sleeping, I managed to take a shower. I knew I wouldn't be able to withstand the pressure of standing up for at least twenty minutes in the shower, what with my weak body system, so I had to shower while sitting down...which was why I showered in my parents' bathroom, where there was like a tebing where I could sit on. So that's what I did. For the past two days, I've been showering in my parents' bathroom while sitting down on the sledge, afraid I might faint.

As for carrying out my daily prayers, I had no problems at all.

It was odd that my fever started in the morning, and by the time it was nearly dawn, the fever was gone. My body temperature has cooled off drastically, from about nearly 40 degrees celcius back to my normal 37 degrees. I was glad it got away, but I wasn't so happy on the fact that I had fainted twice in one day, or in less than an hour, more like.

Yesterday, I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. It couldn't be food poisoning, since I ate so little the day before and I knew that we had no problem with food sanitation. I had to go to the bathroom at least twice in one hour to do my job. I was literally giving birth to watery stools, and I didn't like it.

So I ate. Of course I didn't fast, since I FAINTED the day before. Twice pulak tu. I ate a granola bar, and that was it. Nothing in the kitchen seemed appetizing to me and I felt like puking just looking at food. For lunch, I ordered the chicken porridge from McD. As for dinner, I ate chicken soup, cooked by Mama. It was yummy!

I was having diarrhea. There, I admitted it. I could only eat watery stuff, like porridge and soup, and that was it. I had to drink lots of water, since I was losing a lot of water and the mineral salts I needed for my body system to go on. I hate having diarrhea.

Today, I'm feeling much better, thankfully. It's just that there are times when I feel light-headed and woozy, which means that I'm on the verge of fainting. I hope that tonight, with adequate sleep and rest, I will feel recharged tomorrow so that I can resume my fasting. It's been three days since I've missed fasting, not to mention tarawih as well.

I can only pray to God to make me better. Amin.



Friday, August 21
6:45 PM

Ah, yes, I am feeling very much lethargic. Today happened to be "Cleaning Day", apparently. Something I wouldn't have expected in my calender.

I didn't even know why I bothered to wake up in the morning and show up at school. The thought of sleeping in was in my head when the clock struck 6:10am. But, since today was the last day of school before the one week holiday, I figured I might as well go to school to see my classmates for the last time before the holidays. So, yeah.

Regretted it. Despite the part where I got to see my friends again, I regretted going to school. First of all, I knew there was going to be some Merdeka celebration today. Hah, so much for a "celebration". Details later. Then, after assembly when I went into my classroom, a foul smell wafted through my nostrils into my lungs. The horror! And third, a few of my classmates and I were the "cleaners".

The Merdeka celebration was boring. It felt unusual because it wasn't as big as last year's, complete with the rising of the national flag and the descending of the Union Jack. This year, pfft. Only half of the student population of the morning session showed up at school today (this week, more like), and the celebration was simply unexciting.

We had to sing four national songs. The heck with that, I didn't sing at all. Like I said, I hate to sing along with a large crowd. I hate to sing, period. While the other students were singing their heads off to those four songs for what seemed like an infinity, I just stood with my arms crossed, a smirk on my face, and my novel tucked in between my arm and my chest. It was so boring!

The new song, 1Malaysia? My God, my God, it's like lagu askar! I'm telling you, I'm not kidding! It's probably the most boring national song ever created in history, who came up with that, I don't know (and I don't care!). I didn't sing, was too bored to sing. Wasn't entertained at all.

After that we had to go back to our classes. The foul smell I mentioned? It came from the garbage bin. Apparently someone had drank a can of Justea, didn't finish it, and threw it into the garbage bin with some of the drink left in the can. Of course, it spilled in the plastic bag. And then yesterday, a couple of my friends and I had to clean it up, and we found another culprit to the foul smell; a pack of what seemed like foul lunch. It looked like muck, and we had to sweep it back into the garbage bin.

Aaaaand of course, overnight, the monkeys came in! I think it was the smell of the Justea drink that attracted those hobos, because when we were sweeping the classroom yesterday, the smell of the drink was very strong until it made me nauseous. The monkeys dug into the garbage bin and left a mess. The pack of that foul lunch? Yeah, the monkeys left it lying on the floor a few meters away from the garbage bin. The contents fell out of the casing, and it looked like POOP! No kidding! And the smell! Oh my God, it's the kind of smell that would make you want to go home and soak yourself in a three-hour bath, complete with bleach.

We asked one of the school cleaners to clean it up, because using the broom to sweep it back into garbage bin was useless. It was already glued to the floor. Then after recess, some of us started cleaning it up. A few of my classmates went to take the tools needed to clean up the mess in our class, to get rid of the foul smell. They brought back pails of water, a couple of mops, and that tool you use to shove water out of the way.

I was very impressed by them, to be honest. I thought I was the only one who cared. Hah.

I helped them, anyway. It's either I did that English summary we were told to do, or clean up that mess. I'd rather clean up that mess, I tell you. Summary? No problem, I can do it with my eyes closed if I wanted to! So we mopped and poured water onto the floor and mopped again and put lots of soap. The class smelt nicer, thank goodness. After that, the class was clean again! No one can say that our classroom is dirty, heh heh.

Went home as usual.

Then I started to clean my room. I vacuumed the floor, I mopped the floor, twice, I wiped all the surfaces in my room to get rid of dust, I mopped the little space joining my room to my brother's room, I changed my bedsheets, and I changed my pillow cases as well. Then I went to work on the stairs, mopped it twice, and then the area in front of my sister's and brother's rooms. It took me about two and a half hours to complete it all, and I felt gooooood. The floor was clean, every speck of dust was swept away, and it smelled like lavender!

And they say I don't do work, judging by the softness of my hands -.-"

My room is very clean now. Everything's been cleaned up, including myself, heh heh. Yeah.

I am so exhausted!

Anyway, to all the Muslims,

Selamat Berpuasa! Eat all you can now, for tomorrow you won't be able to eat or drink anything for more than twelve hours. Heh heh.



Thursday, August 20
4:59 PM

I've just realized that I'm really cold. Like, really, really cold. Not physically cold, mentally. Heheh. You'll see why.

1 - Being a "deadpan" can be one of the adjectives to describe myself.

2 - I'm not much of a fun sport when it comes to celebrations and stuff.

3 - Yep, you guessed it, I'm a party pooper.

4 - I dislike PDA, a.k.a public display of affection.

5 - I am not an affectionate person, physically. I'd only be affectionate in terms of words.

6 - I hate parties, or any kind of social gathering.

7 - Socializing? Na'uh, not my part, sorry.

8 - I only unwind myself when I'm around my family.

9 - Oh, did I mention how I hate singing along with everyone?

10 - I like to seclude myself from other people.

Hahaaa there you go. It's not that I'm selfish, I just like myself to be secluded. I have no idea how to socialize amongst other people, I don't sing along when it comes to the National Anthem every morning in school, and I don't like to let myself be involved in any kind of social gatherings. Yeah.

Cold, I know. I don't like affection as well. I just don't. I don't know why, but I just don't. *Shrugs*

That doesn't make me mean, does it? :/



Wednesday, August 19
9:17 PM

It was such a stressful day today. Simply and utterly stressful, I tell you!

Aaand it started during KH. Liyana Wawin Qiela Lyna and the other two who didn't come to school were lucky, I tell you, LUCKY! I envy them, for not going to school this morning.

We got back our KH papers today. I got an A, quite satisfied, but I knew I could've done better. Fine, I'll try harder -- HARDER!!! -- on the real freaking day. The two teachers who were assigned for Kumpulan 1 and Kumpulan 2 both entered our class, since we had to combine. Fine, whatever. Since we got our papers back, I just knew there was about to be some nagging session going on.

Turned out I was right. Hahaaa I was beyond right. Not only did the teachers scolded us like God knows what, they laughed at us. Can you believe it? They LAUGHED AT US. I mean, come on, it's bad enough that we had to hear them nag and scold us and stuff, but to embarrass us? That is so unprofessional! And yet they expect us to succeed in PMR for KH . . . but then again they're planting false hopes on us. WTH?

Oh, I memang kena bantai habis2 tadi. EMBARRASSING.

Me Teacher

*Talking about the stupid substance to remove some crap called "lekar"*
Lekar tu macam...macam nail polish awak letak kat kuku awak tu.
Oh, alcohol!
...
...
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Ada ke kita belajar alcohol dalam class ni?
*Pissed*

Well she said NAIL POLISH. The first thing that came to my mind was alcohol. What do you use to remove nail polish? Alcohol. It made sense lah kan? They laughed at me. The teachers laughed AT ME. The rest of the class kept quiet, apparently too pissed off at the teachers for blaming us for everything. I just couldn't believe that I was being laughed at, by a teacher for God's sake!

When they scolded us, they always wanted to add up some more. Batu api. You know when they say that when teachers scold you, they actually love you? I believe that . . . is nothing but bullshit. I mean, we all make mistakes, don't we? Sometimes we're just careless, and receiving the scoldings from the teacher is bad enough, they don't have to laugh at our mistakes. How would you feel if a teacher laughed at you because you got an easy question wrong? Of course, ashamed, embarrassed, and simply annoyed! That's how I felt. That's how we all felt. We know they want us to get an A in KH, blah blah blah, but they're treating us like as if we're just strangers that they pass by on the busy road.

They were condemning us. They were condemning us shitless, making us all feel down in the dumps. I felt like crying, like sinking to the ground. I just felt like digging a six-feet-deep hole and bury myself in there for a long time. Probably until I die. It was just so embarrassing and shameful to have the teachers laugh at your mistakes, instead of just giving us normal scoldings like any other teacher would do.

Whatever.

After that, got some programme we had to attend. The programme was about the techniques of answering our Science papers, blah blah blah. In conjunction with KH, we were released kind of late by the teachers. It was already 9AM, we were still stuck in the Torture Chamber of KH in the ERT room. We had to assemble in the hall for the seminar by 9AM.

Just as we exited the ERT room and were about to put on our shoes, the devil came. She started scolding us with her annoying high-pitched voice, demanding us to get into the hall quickly. Well, excuse me for being released late by the teachers. Ugh. Fine, whatever, I went into the hall quickly to avoid myself from listening to the teacher's annoying voice any further.

During the seminar, I had no mood. I was so aggravated and peeved, I felt so condemned, and the hunger came striking me. I was fasting today, so I had to try my best to keep my cool and not shout at anyone's face. I succeeded that part. So while the speaker was conveying the techniques to us, my face was as flat as the surface of a table. I had no expression whatsoever plastered across my face, I just didn't have the mood to feel sad, or angry, or whatever. So many emotions were boiling inside me that I couldn't fathom what I actually felt.

After that, Maths. Pn Gan wasn't happy with us. I managed to get 31 upon 40 correct for my paper one in Maths, despite the fact that I actually struggled a bit during the day I took that paper. It's alright, I guess. Could've done better, minus the careless mistakes. But, yeah, Pn Gan wasn't happy. Then she compared us, her level one students in BUKT, to her level three students in NAWP. I simply hate it when teachers start to compare us to the NAWP classes. Well, duh, look at them! They're all smart and they probably have the IQs of Einstein.

Sigh. I felt morose again. More nagging, more failure. I mean, don't get me wrong, Pn Gan is a fun teacher but I just don't like it when we disappoint her, that's when she starts comparing us to the NAWP students.

I'm not smart like them. I admit that I'm quite good in my studies, just not as good as them. We were basically divided into two groups back when we were in form one. In the teachers' point of view, one group, consisting of four classes, were the ones who didn't manage to get A for Maths and/or Science in UPSR. The other group, consisting of four classes as well, were the ones who got straight A's for UPSR, blah blah blah. In our point of view, we were being divided based on our IQs. We're the stupid ones, they're the smart ones. That's what we think.

And I happen to fall underneath the first group. I only scored 4A's for UPSR three years ago, with a B for science. Fine, whatever, UPSR is not important to me anymore. *Deep breaths*

I think my school is being unfair. Just simply unfair.

DON'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ADOLESCENTS ANYMORE?

Huh. And they say the young ones now are going to be the future of the world. WHO CAME UP WITH THAT? Bastards.



Tuesday, August 18
8:29 PM

You're a bunch of assholes. You have no ounce of commonsense in your thick large heads, you are so ickin'frickin' inconsiderate, and you talk like as if you're the queens of the world. Wth?

If you see someone has booked a place for them, even placed their stuff at the place, a normal person would SEARCH FOR ANOTHER PLACE TO SIT. Hi, hello, commonsense? Where's that?

And why are you being such immature idiots? I can't say you're fifteen, you just act like a five-year-old. Honestly, you do. You may not know that, but, God, there are so many people who bear witness that your attitude is like a child. Not an adolescent, a child.

The way you look at me, I hate it. I hate the way you're being such a friendly fake in front of my face, and then behind my back...oh WOW, I so freaking admire your ability to become such two-faced bitches and talk crap about everyone else, including me. I'm not being insecure here, because, really, you don't know me at all, and yet you want to talk about me, negatively. Heh, you think you know me sangat la? Yes, you "know" me so well. It's like you're eating your own shit, you know? The thing that comes out of your assholes when you sit on the toilet bowl? Yeah, it's like you're eating that.

I'm just so sick of your attitudes lately. I don't even give a crap what you're having up your sleeves. To talk bad (not to mention false) stuff about me, and everyone else who comes in contact with you, that's just immature. Plain immature. Problematic, even.

I don't even know why I get to see your faces everyday. It's so annoying! Go, go ahead and tell the whole world how much of a bitch I am, go and tell the whole world that I have this "decolourization" thing going on, and oh yes, go tell the whole world how much I act like a teacher's pet in school. GO AHEAD. You know why I don't care? Because they're not true. You're making them up. But you know something? All those things you say about everyone else, they're really just about yourselves. You don't know that, oh of course you don't. You're too daft, too stupid of such imbeciles to realise that.

Oh, I know you talk crap about me. I can tell, it's like I have this sixth sense, because I am so used to it. I've been through this for, what, nearly five years? I can tell when someone is talking like poop about me behind my back. But, it's okay, whatever. You don't know me, other people don't know me...so there's really no proof, is there? If you say I wear make-up to school, do you have proof? Or do you need me to go and wipe my face with baby-wipes just to prove it to you?

Grow up. Please. Just grow up. You've reached puberty, physically only. Heck yeah. I don't know what's happened to your mentality. You're so immature and so childish, even the smallest things you'd want to make a big deal. People try to be nice to you, and you act like as if you're having low expectations of that person. Why do you even bother to be such nice prats in front of people's faces, when in the back, you talk bad shitless about them? What a waste of energy! Tsk tsk. You really ought to learn how to grow up. Or maybe you could go back and return to primary school, in spite of the fact that your mentality is just like a seven-year-old.

If you prefer being labelled as two-faced-prats, I suggest you continue your fantastic ability of pretending to be nice in front of my friend, my friend, and then still stab her with a knife in the back. My God, just GROW UP! Your hearts are so dark and black like coal, so cold like ice, your heads are as thick and hard as granite, and somewhere in there, there's a little princess just trying to claw her way out of your coconut brains.

Grow up.

Stop being such inferior babies.

Stop annoying other people -- dudes, if you were to compete in a "Who's The Noisiest" contest against monkeys, I'm sure the monkeys would lose to you.

And please, please stop being such two-faced-prats. There's really no motive now. You're all busted, anyway. Heh, you're all bastards, more like.

JUST GET OUT OF HERE AND GO BUY SOME GROWTH SPURT FOR YOUR MENTALITIES OR SOMETHING.

If I could choke you I would. But of course I won't, I'm a good person, see that glowing halo hovering above my head? I'm only this nasty when people try to get nasty with me. Like my teacher said, "Don't do to others what you don't want others do to you." Hah, I feel smug :)



Sunday, August 16
4:53 PM

Get a grrrrrrrip.



Saturday, August 15
6:09 PM

Believe it or not, this is my three-hundred-and-eighty-fourth post since I first started my blog. Haha.

Raya is just a month away, and I'm so excited! But it will also mean one thing...PMR is just two weeks away after Raya. So much for a fun Raya this year. Sigh.

I hope I won't be such a party pooper and be so stressed out. I mean, I was pretty much calm the whole time during trials. I don't think I was that frantic. Sure, I could've pulled off a tantrum anytime but I still kept my cool. I hope I won't be that stressed out during Raya later...and worse...PMR.

It would be nice to go balik kampung this year. I kind of missed the homey, cosy feeling I get whenever I arrive at my Grandma's house in Cheh, Kuala Kangsar. Greeted by a huuuuuge lawn, followed by lots of trees...sigh. I miss my Opah. She's so caring and loving and you just feel like hugging her when you see her.

I missed my father's hometown in Tumpat, Kelantan, too. Usually we'd be greeted by the sandy ground, and the pungent smell of live chickens...and their poop. Haha. But still, that horrid smell somehow reminds me of Raya.

I guess it's safe to say that I miss balik kampung for Raya. We didn't go to our parents' original hometown last year for Raya, and I don't think we'll be doing that this year, since I'm taking that godforsaken PMR thing in less than two months.

Abah Me

Ah, this year boleh la balik kampung masa Raya.
Yeaaah, two weeks after that dah PMR.
Oh? Well, then that's a good excuse.
Alaaaa...

Yeah I do miss the thrill of balik kampung. I love just sitting in the car for hours, embarking on a journey to go "home". It's nice, really. Not to mention all that lovely trees surrounding the highway, and the windy roads we have to take...God, I am really obsessed with trees, am I not? It's freaking me out!

Oh, and my brother's coming home tomorrow! Yippeeeee!
You suck bro!



Thursday, August 13
8:18 PM

It's the week when the PMR trials are taking place . . .

And I feel exceptionally, irrationally calm.

I'm not even freaking out one bit.

Why am I so weird?





Saturday, August 8
12:08 AM


Ehem ehem...

I.

Hate.

Sejarah.

Hell yeah,

I HATE SEJARAH.

HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!


Stupid Francis Light. Stupid James Brooke. Stupid stupid Malayan Union. Stupid Rundingan Kemerdekaan crap. Stupid stupid stupid political parties.

How do you even like those things anyway?

Ahaaa, I've just realised, we're all learning about politics, aren't we? POLITICS. Like I'd give a sorry one cent on politics! Hah!

I hate politics.

And SEJARAH too.

Who's with me, dogg'? WHO'S WITH ME?



Friday, August 7
10:18 AM

I'm sick.

Holy crap I'm sick.

My body temperature stood at 39 degrees celcius last night. But I think today my body temperature has cooled down a bit. A bit. I felt tired and limp and lethargic all day long yesterday. I didn't have any energy left in me, and eating just made me want to puke. My appetite has left me weak, and my head felt like as if it had been hit by a boulder. Nice.

I felt weaker when I woke up from sleep, or from a nap. It was hard to get up from a sleep, because my head was soooooo heavy. I didn't feel like puking, thank God, but I was very dizzy and very tired.

So I went to the clinic with my parents last night. My body temperature was rising, I could feel it. Even my breath was hotter than usual.

I had to wait an hour in the clinic. Luckily I brought a novel to read. But that didn't satisfy my patience. I started getting impatient after about half an hour.

The doctor gave me a few meds I have to take. Around four or five kinds of pills I have to swallow, and one cough syrup. I hate the powdery pills, they taste so bitter and when you can't swallow it, it will be stuck at the back of your tongue and you can feel its bitterness. Yuck.

I didn't go to school today. I slept soundlessly last night, even had sweet dreams. I feel slightly better now. I'm not as dizzy as yesterday and my body temperature is not as hot, so I guess I'm feeling better. I hope I'll feel better enough for the Solat Hajat later at night. I really want to go!



Wednesday, August 5
7:16 PM

I think I'm going to fall sick...again. Sigh.

It started off this morning. The haze was terrible! It made my throat burn and it definitely got to my head. My throat is hitherto burning and itchy. Whenever I cough, I swear I can taste blood in my throat. The taste of salt and rust. Yuck.

After recess, during Maths, my head was spinning like a violent tornado. Maths, a subject that requires a lot of thinking. Since Pn Gan wasn't present, Pn Goh took over for a short while. She handed out some exam papers to us from a different school for us to do. Ironic, she just had to hand us out those papers while my head was spinning like crazy.

I decided to go into the sick bay. To stay there for a short while, to rest my head. Buuuttt alas, the sick bay was full of people. Ada orang tu, nampak macam pura-pura sakit. Boleh lagi dia gelak-gelak when I opened the door to see whether or not I could find a space to rest.

I didn't. Disappointed and dizzy, I walked back to class with Putri. I was afraid that I might faint, so I brought her along, just in case. I didn't faint, of course. I just felt like it.

By the time school ended, I was really starting to feel lethargic. I frequently frowned and twisted my face in pure agony. Maybe it was from the haze, but my head felt like as if a big rock had hit it. I could even feel the vein in my forehead -- the one that freakishly keeps bulging out whenever I laugh -- throbbing. I couldn't even sit up straight without using all my strength.

By the time I reached home, I was immediately sprawled across the couch in front of the TV. I skipped lunch because I was too dizzy to sit. So I lied down, and took a three-hour nap. Oh man I felt good. But before that awesome nap, I swallowed a pill of Panadol.

I missed Zuhur today. I was too dizzy to sit, let alone stand. Oh well, it's not always I miss my prayers.

When I woke up, my head felt slightly better. I'm still dizzy, but I feel slightly better. My throat's burning has decreased as well, but it's still itchy and burning.

I don't want to get sick. I have a lot of studying to do! THE TRIALS ARE NEXT WEEK for crying out loud!



Tuesday, August 4
4:03 PM

Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you? I didn't even do any godforsaken thing to you. Seriously, your mouth is just so irritating. Like an annoying mosquito just bugging other people's minds. Can't stop bitching about everyone, can you? The temptation is so grandiose that you can't even resist, can you?

You are so freaking pathetic. Crucially lame. LITERALLY. The only reason why you bitch about innocent people -- who you don't even know! -- is because deep, deep down, there's this little princess about to escape, just trying to claw her way out of your thick head. Ever heard of the word inferior? No? Look it up. I think you'll be surprised to find that the word works in harmony with your slimy attitude.

If only there were zips that you could attach to people's lips. Sigh...

Girls are so retarded. Especially girls like you hahahahahaha. No wonder...hmm...



Monday, August 3
5:41 PM

Agh, rotten mood today. As usual, woke up feeling blustery and angry, knowing that I'd have to face a day in school. I don't know why, but I've been dreading going to school. I'm just so not in the mood to do any homeworks, or pass up my books, neh! I only want to study, that's it. I can study by myself, thank you very much.

It got worse when I reached school. I was suddenly very fragile and I felt like screaming people's heads off. I barely smiled at all. Heck, I barely spoke a word, much less when I didn't need to speak. In the end, I just took it all in and found a way to make time go faster so that I could be home in no time.

I got home from school, ate nasi lemak for lunch. But before that, when I went upstairs to put my schoolbag in my room, I nearly yelled "Hiiii Kakcik!" before realizing that she wasn't home. She started work today. So I watched The Biggest Loser, alone. Eating lunch in front of the TV, alone. Sighhhh.

I don't think I'll be a chipper tomorrow. The trial exams are really getting to my head and it's driving me nuts. My face is starting to break out (due to stress)...and it barely happens. My head keeps spinning around like a violent tornado, trying to suck in so many things into my pit of hell.

This is just the trials. It's not the real exam yet. Oh, God knows how frantic I'll be when it comes to the real PMR exam.

I feel like I'm not progressing. What is wrong with me?

Negative stress. That's what's wrong with me now. The stress is giving me negative values. Yeah.

The impact of PMR on me this year is so grandiose that you can't even imagine. My stressed and rotten attitude is so conspicuous that I can't even hide it.

F*** PMR. Seriously. Whoever came up with this bull must be a joke.



Sunday, August 2
7:03 PM

I am so not in the mood to go to school tomorrow. I feel like sleeping in tomorrow morning.

ImanKakcik

*singing* Every morning rise and shineeee...
Eee tomorrow got work!
Haha I got school.
Sighhhh...

I'm gonna miss watching The Biggest Loser with Kakcik after getting home from school. I'm gonna miss eating lunch with her while watching The Biggest Loser. She's starting work tomorow, heh heh. WELCOME TO HELL, SISTER!

Every morning rise and shine....

I can't seem to get that stupid Hi5 song out of my head :/

Oh, I just remembered that today is the second day of the month of the trials. August 2nd. Eight more days. You may not see it, I may conceal it, but I'm really freaking out like a frantic chimpanzee right now.

Since reading is my ultimate passion, and since I'm not allowed to go and buy anymore novels until after PMR trials, I've been ransacking my brother's bookshelf. He does have quite an eccentric collection of novels, from Edward Trencom's Nose (I know, wth?) to some book about the people of Paris, something like that.

A couple of days back, I went to the small space which specifically connects my room to my brother's room. We share the space, though my brother is the one occupying it by putting his bookshelf there. I searched for an interesting book to read, something to get my mind off my studies whenever I'm strained. And then I found Dan Brown.

Since so many people (specifically, my sister) love reading books by Dan Brown, I decided to give it a try. It wasn't The Da Vinci Code, it was a book called Deception Point. Pretty interesting, actually. The story is so suspenseful and it's so intriguing. I won't tell you what it's about, I don't intend to bore you to death.

I'm really into reading books speficially for adult-readers. Reading books for teen-readers is kind of boring and not challenging enough. Oddly enough, reading books that are not for teens help me think even more maturely.

Oh, I love reading. A major bookworm, that's me :D



Saturday, August 1
3:31 PM


I was supposed to go on a photography shoot with Kak Lea and some of her friends today at Putrajaya. We were supposed to leave at 6.15 in the morning, but half an hour before that, I was just about to wake up to shower. Then I noticed the 'New Message' sign on my phone. It was from my sister.

She said her friends came down with a flu, and weren't able to go. She said we'd have to reschedule. Fine. Whatever. Stupid flu. Stupid H1N1 thing going on. Stupid swines who got that flu and transferred them to humans.

I could've gone to school. I could've walked downstairs to tell my father that I had school today. But nooooo, I just had to crawl back into bed and drift back to sleep...for another six hours. I was extremely disappointed, and going to school was the last thing I wanted to do. I heard there was going to be some Maths class for the third formers. They're going to learn about Trigonometry. Whatever. I can catch it up by myself.

I woke up at 12 noon. Lately I've been getting inadequate sleep, thanks to studying, thanks to the trials in about a week. I was in a bad mood when I woke up. I felt sweaty and the room was hot and I woke up for nothing in the morning and I just wasted half of the day. Fun, ha?

So I went and took a shower. I spent half an hour in the bathroom, cleaning myself up. It was relaxing, but the calmness only did well for a tiny fraction of an hour.

Then I had McD for lunch. Nyummy. I ate Quarter Pounder, and fries, and I drank Coke.
Then I hung out in the living room with my family for a while, watching TV. I planned to study Sejarah, but, as soon as I opened that godforsaken book, I immediately closed it back.

So...many...WORDS! I know, I know, this is coming out of a major bookworm. But, seriously, who WANTS to learn about dead people? Especially if all they do is rule their lands or find new places with new people to do their dirty work for them. Na'uh, not me. I'm just not the type of person who is interested, not even a slightest fraction, in history. I beseech you people who major in history. HONESTLY!

Then I went to do my prayers. I prayed for 8A's. I prayed to do well in my trials...and in PMR, too. And now I'm writing this frikkin' thing and doing Score A. Oh, bless my mum for setting up Score A for me. It's so easy when I do the daily exercises, which automatically indicates whether or not I got the question correct. But...some of the questions are just plain rubbish. Like dog poo. Like dogs.

In less than ten hours it will be a Sunday. And then it'll be a Monday. And the week will drag on until the next Sunday, the day I'll be freaking out frantically due to the beginning of the trials the day after. Sweeeeeeet.

Isn't life wonderful?

I wonder when we're going to do that photography thing in Putrajaya. I just hope the whole thing won't be called off. That'd just be even more disappointing.

Honestly, isn't life just wonderful?



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