iman nedhiera

Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)

HTTP://WWW.FLICKR.COM/IMAN_NEDHIERA

Sunday, November 28

8:31 PM

Two things I learned today :

1. Never, ever cut your own hair.
2. China-doll bangs and big poofy hair will make you look like a Korean.

Yeaaaaa I cut my fringe just now. I felt like I needed a change and as a result of that now I look like a China doll. Eheh. Wait, no, I don't look like a China doll, I look like a frikkin' Korean! No offense or anything, but I do not like to look Korean. Eeeeeeeeck!

I guess this just isn't the change I'm looking for. And hey, china-doll bangs is NOT my kind of look.

Siiigghhh. Looks like I have to wait God knows how many months until my bangs grow back...which will probably feel like an eternity to me. Aaargh!

Well, it's not the end of the world. It's just hair. It'll grow back. And for the meantime, I'm gonna clip up my bangs with a bobby pin until it grows just long enough for me to tuck it behind my ear. And that's gonna take a loooong time.

Nice going, noob.

2:56 PM

I am...currently feeling bored.

Generally, I'm bored. Nowadays I've been feeling very adventurous with the DSLR hanging around my neck. I'm looking around the house for photo ops but so far nothing interesting has captured my attention to turn something into a breathtaking photo. A couple of days ago I even went out of the gate albeit nobody was home except me, hihi, and I started snapping photos of my street but...yeah the photos just sucked.

Terribly.

I just got home from lunch at Wendy's with my brother and my mum. Oh god, I just love the food there. It's slightly more expensive than McDonald's but the portions are huge and the food tastes better, too! But it sucks that Wendy's is hard to find. Anyway, when I was contently devouring my crispy fried chicken, that's when my mum told me that she's going to send me to baking classes next year after I finish my SPM. Ooh what a delight! I can't say I'm a pro at baking but I guess I can add some more knowledge about baking into my brain. They're also providing cake-decorating classes, which just caught my attention even more because I've always wanted to go to a cake-decorating class. I'm not really good at decorating cakes, haha. I only know how to bake them -.-

My mum said that I can start going to baking classes this year, provided if I want to. It'd be nice to go this year, since I don't have anything fun to do. And plus, I can't always stay cooped up in my own home or else I'd be stir crazy before you even know it!

Hmm, maybe I'll give it a second thought.

I've also heard of this camp in Bentong, Pahang which is on the 13th until 22nd of December, if I'm not mistaken. The camp sounds really fun and I really want to go but it costs 600 bucks. Heh, a wee bit too expensive for me and technically, since my invoices are being ignored, I'm just plain broke! Aarrggghhagrhaghaghaerghasdfgh. Anyway, I don't think I'll even be free on those dates for the camp since I have to be somewhere else. But still. It would be fun to go.

I just love it when I get all creative and start getting these sick crazy ideas to do something fun and adventurous. But unfortunately, I'm not yet an adult, I can't drive, I'm still under my parents' care, so to sum it all up, my sick crazy ideas would always end up going into the trash can. Oh well. It's better coming up with ideas than just sitting around thinking of nothing.

Hmm, maybe I will consider attending baking classes starting from now. I might get photo ops there, too. Hahah. But then again it costs a fortune and I can't let my mum pay everything for me -.-

When the hell are my invoices gonna be attended to? I'm starting to get really pissed and flustered here. Aarrgghhh firetruck!!!!

Saturday, November 27

6:00 PM

Today is just another boring day, I guess. Nothing much is happening and I'm basically repeating the same routine everyday.

Today is also a rainy day, which I love! It's so cold right now that my eyes are puffy. Haha. I hate when that happens. I just hate it whenever I'm in cold places, my eyes end up getting puffy. Sheesh. But anyway, better cold than hot :D

Right now I'm pretty much doing nothing at all. I'm still not in the mood to start studying SPM next year and by studying when I'm in no mood to do so would just be a complete waste of time. So I've got my Photoshop CS4 running and I'm working on editing the photos that I snapped late last night. And I have a glass of cold milk next to the laptop and an Oreo cookie in my mouth! Hihi. Honestly, what could go wrong? Editing photos on a lovely cold rainy day, with a glass of milk and a tube of Oreo cookies, and I'm in my PJ bottoms to boot! Ah, yessssss. I'm luvin' this moment!

And ooohhh the smell of my mother's yummy rendang is wafting into my nose. Can't wait to stuff my face later!

Oh man. I'm such a spoiled kid.

I can't wait to finish editing my --

Oh oops. I've got Oreo crumbs on the keyboard...wait, wait, let me just brush them off...

Anyway, I can't wait to finish editing my photos. They're gonna look spankin'! Ngehehe.

Bliss. Life is just blissful :)

12:17 AM

Well, it's been a while since I wrote here.

Haha okay fine, it's only been a few days.

Anyway, just for your information, I created my own Tumblr account. Haha. It's gonna be something like my Flickr, where I share the photos I've taken and other artsy fartsy stuff. My Blogger is gonna be more like a diary, or something like that. Haha.

The URL is http://www.imannedhiera.tumblr.com, just for your info :)

It's been a while since I've done photography. I've left my Flickr profile to collect dust and the last time I updated it was on March 4th 2010, that is, before I started updating it again. Haha. I'm back in the mood for photography again and it feels so good to hold the DSLR camera for photography purposes instead of just the typical point-and-shoot stuff, if you know what I mean. I really enjoy photography, and maybe I can add that to my list of career options. I mean, who knows? Maybe I'll become a freelance photographer. Hehe. And plus, I think it's quite rare to have female photographers, no? Most photographers I know are all male -.-

Anyway, since my sister takes along her Nikon D70S with her, I pretty much don't have any other option but to stick with the Canon EOS 400D. The camera is not even ours to own, it's lent by my dad's workplace. But honestly, I prefer working with the Canon because it's lighter, the screen is bigger compared to my sister's Nikon, the picture looks much sharper and it's kind of easy to handle it. Not that my sister's Nikon is not a good camera to work with, it's just that I prefer using this Canon EOS. But honestly, I kind of miss my sister's Nikon D70S. When my interest in photography started to bloom, I used that camera to practise my photography skills. And I took many great shots with that camera, too.

I really adore photography and I'm very serious about it. Forgive me if I offend anyone, but I'm not like one of those people who'd use a DSLR just because it looks 'cool' when they don't even know how to operate that thing. It's kind of insulting, actually. I mean, some people wait until a few months, maybe a couple of years, to earn money to buy their own DSLR camera because they're really serious about photography while some people just ask their parents for it and their main and possibly only purpose is to look 'cool'. Because it's the 'in' thing nowadays. It's just not fair and knowing me, I'm obsessed with justice. Seriously, how many people do you know really use their DSLR for other purposes other than to show off and be part of the in crowd? I'm not being egoistic or cocky just because I can gain access to a DSLR camera -- it's not even mine! -- but doesn't it just annoy the crap out of you when people buy something so expensive just to show off?

Well, that's just my opinion.

And I guess it's safe to say I'm back in business! Haha.

Oh yes, photography is luuuurrrve. And just in case you don't know the URL to my Flickr profile is, here it is!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/iman_nedhiera
Hehe :D

Wednesday, November 24

11:51 AM

I am very flustered right now. Why? Look at the title above.

I may just be a teenager, but yes, I deserve to be treated just as fair.

WHERE MY MONEY AT?!

Tuesday, November 23

2:58 PM

The teenage blues are back again.

Therefore, I'm starting to get very insecure of myself, my brain doesn't seem to be working the way it used to be, I'm very unproductive and I'm very futile.

I don't really like you, Teenage Blues. You're mean.

Saturday, November 20

11:49 PM

Last night, I learned that friendship isn't always about having fun and sharing laughter with each other. It's not always about the jokes you make, the gossips you share, the things you trade. In fact, I learned that a good friendship is solely based on the experiences and stories that you share. It's about opening up to one another and listening to each other's experiences. It's about lending them your shoulder for them to cry on.

And apparently...I did neither of those things. I was too caught up in myself, too self-centered to listen to my best friends' problems. I was too ignorant of how they were feeling, too selfish to even try to listen to their stories whereas they were clearly listening to me rambling about my own problems.

Maybe that's why my previous friendships didn't work out so well. Maybe that's why I'm the one who always loses contact with the rest. I don't really know.

So that's why, after hours of chatting with my best friends last night, I've finally realized that being best friends is not always just about sharing silly jokes with each other and laughing with one another. It's about lending your shoulder for them to cry on, it's about opening up to them and listening to what they have to say. I think, in my own opinion, that's what builds a strong and healthy friendship. You can't just hang out with a group of people, share your jokes and laughter with them, and call them your best friends.

So, last night, my best friends confronted me about how I was always ignorant and selfish and how I always closed up like a shell whenever they poured their hearts out to me. And when I pondered about it before I went to sleep last night, I thought it was very immature of me. I mean, they could bear listening to me ramble about my own personal life, but I didn't even bother to listen to them when they need to vent out their feelings. Now, that's just not fair.

I'm glad that they confronted me on that. I really want this friendship to last because first of all, these two people are really great people. They're so mature, they're so wise and they're very intelligent and witty. We've only known each other for a few months, but that's enough for me to learn that they're really one of a kind. Heh, in fact, whenever I talk to them, it's like I'm talking to a couple of reincarnations of myself. Haha.

A good best friend would confront you on your mistakes, not hold grudges against you. And these two people, I could tell they weren't holding back. They really poured their hearts out about my attitude towards them and even though the truth was very painful, I had to accept the fact that they know me better than anyone else in the school, so they know my attitude better. I'm really glad we had that god-knows-how-many-hours long conversation. We confronted each other about what we're not satisfied with and I guess we're trying to improve our attitudes. If they're not my best friends, then they wouldn't really confront me on my own mistakes, would they? No, I guess not.

So, Ezleen and Ashiqin, thank you for confronting me. I really hope our friendship can last because I see a great future in all of us. I can imagine us going through college life together -- even though we might be in different universities -- and then when one of us gets married, the other two would become the bridesmaids or something. And then we'll have our own kids, and then we'd see each other every weekend to catch up with one another. Haha. I really think our friendship can last that long and I really don't want to run away from it. I don't want to lose my friends just because of my ignorant, self-centered attitude.

And now, an excerpt from Ezleen Natasha's blog :

"And im so glad i had a very open minded session with my bestfriends Ashiqin and Iman. They are both so important to me. Ashiqin could sometimes be like my elder sister and also my younger sister. And iman, she's definitely like a little sister to me. I mean i dont see this friendship just as the roles of bestfriend. You guys are my family. I want to go through things with both of you. A part of me is so glad we had tht fight, and a part of me is just grateful we went stronger and much closer aftr the discussion yesterday. I definitely want this friendship to work out. I really do. You both are like the top of my loved ones list. And i know tht what i said is so corny and so blerghh common, like "alaa any girls cn say tht to their bestfriends and u know tulis, like kacang goreng only" but when i say that, i really mean it. I really really do mean it.
I can see myself laughing with you guys until we are all wrinkled, I can see myself getting angry at you guys if u guys are too noisy or u know (jokey) HAHA , I cn see myself crying in both of u guys's arms. I can see myself turning to both of you when i have a hard time. I cn see myself waking up in a hospital seeing u both holding my hands. But in a way i cn also see myself seeing u guys doing a chicken dance when im terribly angry -.-" HAHAH. I can see my kid being the eldest among u guys punya children :P Thats wht u guys predicted kan! ahha. And i cn see my kid pulling Ashiqin's hair and messing up Iman's baking. HAHA, i cn see Iman's kid annoy mine and ashiqin's kid. I cn see my kid having tantrums and just being random about things or maybe even hit them (ashiqin and iman's kids) head with a calculator. I can see ashiqin's kid being the boss and being the leader in causing trouble and invite mine and iman's kid too. hahahaha, i cn see us moms or workers or wives being exhausted and having our one of those "time for a bestfriend's meeting up session" complaining about our kids, work, and husband. HAHA.
Ashiqin with the laptop in her hand and trying to finish assignments. Or trying to finish her articles or masterpiece in journalism :P
Iman with a labcoat in her bag, or with her documents and files and results about tests or experiments. And making her boooooring i dont care science theories HAHA. yes iman i know ur too smart :P haha.
And me with my calculator as a keychain, or a handy one in my handbag, and with my stationerys. Counting the statistics and going all economy as im going for actuarial science. haha.
Let's be those people. Let's still stick together in the future and have more fights and happy moments.
AND WHY LA I LOOK LIKE A WORKING MOM? when u guys think of me, always think of me hving kids, i have no idea why -.-" HAHAHA. Iman & Ash remember about the combined egg yolk thing? HAHA sakit tooooot. HAHAHA. I love u guys :')

I LOVE U GUYS LIKE HELL I CN DIE, I HOPE IMAN CN COME TO ASHIQIN'S HOUSE NEXT WEEK SO THT WE CN MOLEST ASHIQIN'S TEDDAYHH TOGEZHAHH! :D"

Need I say more? :)

Alhamdulillah. God brought two darling souls into my life :)

Friday, November 19

2:14 PM

http://cbnslut.tumblr.com/

Kesiaaaan. Diri sendiri tak pandai nak jaga, nak menyibuk hal orang lain pulak.

And it seems that the only words she knows are "fuck" and "bitch". Haha.

Sigh. Apa laaa nak jadi.

Thursday, November 18

9:28 PM

I've had a really good day today. My sister took me out jalan-jalan since 9.45 in the morning!

I'm not really in the mood to write right now. But anyway, I baked a cake today since my sister from another island -- and yes, she's my real biological sister -- requested me to bake our family's delectable chocolate cake. Hehe. This chocolate cake is a great hit on the guests who come to our house for...well for anything. Haha. And trust me, you have got to taste it! So far, I think it's the most unique chocolate cake I've ever tasted ;)

Anyway, here it is! Yippee! And yes, I bake. Sheesh -.-

And plus, I think it's a perfect time to bake a chocolate cake since my brother and sister are coming home this weekend. Our family will be reunited again :')

Oh, and I have found a newfound love for rock music! They're somewhat like Paramore, but their music is really unique!

Don't like that one? Okay fine, here's another one.

Still don't like that one? Here's another!

STILL don't like the band? Then there must be something wrong with you :|
Hahahaha kidding! I just can't decide which song I wanna embed in this post. So I decided to just use all three! Haha.

Are they cool or are they cool? I adore the vocalist's voice :D

Versaemerge, I love you! And the guitarist with the short black hair is kinda cute, don't you think? HIHI

Wednesday, November 17

4:33 PM

I'm so, so, so BORED!

I've never felt so lifeless before -.-

Anyhoo, I'll be going out with my sister tomorrow to buy some necessities. Yipi! But sadly we're going in the morning and I bet we'll be finished with our shopping by noon. And then I'll be bored. Again.

Damn. How I wish I can drive. So that whenever I feel bored, I can just hop in my car and just cruise around until I feel like going home. Haha. That's even more lifeless -.-

I don't know what to dooooooooo.

Maybe I'll just live under a rock and sleep like how Patrick Star does it. Haha.

Tuesday, November 16

11:48 PM

So...

Well, one thing's for sure, I still can't grasp the fact that I've ended my fourth year in secondary school, and next year I'm shifting to my fifth year, which is also my last year in secondary school. My last year in CBN, my one and only school that I really care about.

Time flies by so fast! It feels like just yesterday I was still so new to Form 4, still mingling around with my new classmates and still trying to cope with the tough subjects. And then time flies by. Days, weeks, months passed by without me even noticing. And here I am right now, just a few days older after officially being sixteen.

Next year is going to be hectic, I assume. I think I really have to start revising my Form 4 subjects like, starting from now. Or else next year I won't have enough time to cope with the Form 5 syllabus and then I'll be screwed! Heh, I remember my PMR year, which was last year. I was in such a rush to revise back all my Form 1 and 2 syllabuses and in the end I became this stressed out little girl with a very memorable temper. Heh, I wouldn't what that to happen to me next year. My poor loved ones, they had to face my stress and my outbursts and my rage. Haha.

Anyhow, yes, next year will be the last year for me to be in school. To be in CBN. My goodness, I can't believe I've been a CBNer for...oh I don't know...nine years now! Daaannggg. And to leave that place is going to be really hard for me. Albeit I can't really remember the memories I've had in primary school, I'm still going to miss the beautiful, historical school that sits on top of the pineapple hill. Which is CBN. Hehe.

I wouldn't even be in CBN if it weren't for my mum. She used to be a teacher in CBN way back in the 80's when she had her first child. And then she sent all the girls in the family, including myself, to CBN. And honestly, I really can't say that I regret her decision. Without her, I wouldn't have met all the wonderful people I've come across. I wouldn't have met all my respectable teachers. I wouldn't have met all my best friends :')

I don't know why I'm so teary eyed these past few days. I guess the fact that school has just ended for the year and I only have one more year of school to attend just makes me feel so...sad. I mean, even though sometimes the school's systems kind of defy me, I still love my school no matter what. It's because of the teachers, because of my friends, and also not forgetting because of the memorable, beautiful, historical architecture of the school that's made me so attached and so devoted to CBN.

Sigh. I really wish I could be in CBN forever. But, oh well. Time flies by, life goes on. So, here's a word of advice. If you dread going to school, I will assure you that one day you're going to regret the fact that you didn't even bother to enjoy yourself during the best years of your life. I mean, come on, school is a place to socialize and make friends and have fun! That is, apart from getting your brain fed with a gargantuan amount of education, of course. Duh.

I still can't believe that I'm being promoted to Form 5 next year. I'll be a senior of the school :|

But then again, even though I've very hesitant about leaving the past, I'm still looking forward to the future. I've always wondered about which university I'm going to attend, whether or not it'd be somewhere in the states or just some public university here in Malaysia. And I've always pondered about the car that I'm going to drive. The guy I'm going to marry. The children I'm going to have.

HAHA okay I've gone too far. I can't really imagine myself being married and having babies with my future husband :/

ANYWAAAYYY, I've had a great time in school this year. I'm just hoping next year would be even better :)

Monday, November 15

3:29 PM

So today happens to be the last day of school for us CBNers for the year.

And truth be told, it doesn't really feel like the last day of school. I just feel like as if there's something...missing. I just can't put my finger on what exactly it is.

Anyhoo, we're going to have seven weeks of school holidays and that seems like a looooong time. Most probably I'll be returning to school on 30th December for CBN's orientation day for the first formers, since I'm a prefect and all. I'm kinda sad that today is the last day of school for the year. Now I don't know what to do during the holidays, apart from completing my holiday homework and maybe kinda sort of probably study for SPM next year. Haha. Like that's gonna happen -.-

I really honestly don't know what to do during the school holidays. I can't really go out much because...well I don't really know. Even though my parents haven't said anything about limiting the number of times I go out with my friends, I just know that they won't allow me to go out that often. Unless, of course, I'm going out with my siblings. But then again they're rarely at home and even if they are they'd be too tired to take me out. So...yeah. Hello, imaginary friend.

I'm starting to get bored already. I was thinking of staying with my sister in Singapore for a few days sometime this month or maybe next month, that is if my parents give me the green light. I stayed with my sister for about a week in Singapore last year during the school holidays and I kinda like the fact that over in Singapore, I can walk to the grocery store by myself to get whatever I want without having an adult to accompany me. Heck, I've even taken a cab to my sister's office by myself. Haha. But yeah I was very, very nervous at that time -.- Oh! And I also can't forget the time when I had to fly back to KL from Singapore last year, all by myself -- which was so COOL but kinda scary at the same time, haha -- to take my PMR results. Oh yeah. I had such a fun time flying home by myself and the stewardess was very nice to me :D

Maybe I'll think of something to do to keep me busy. I mean, I can't always be studying 24/7. Gila ke. My brain would explode into a million pieces before I can even enjoy myself during the holidays. I'm still trying to hatch an idea that would keep me busy during the school holidays but uh...I'm kind of futile at the moment. Haha.

God, what am I gonna do for seven weeks? We'll be returning to school on the 3rd of January 2011 and that's like 49 days away! Hmm. Maybe I can bury my nose deep down in the many pages of a good book. Or maybe I can, err, buy lots of storybooks and err, read them. Haha. God, I'm so bored already. Just thinking about what I can do to keep myself busy for 49 days is making my head spin. I might even be stir crazy, since I can't go out that much.

Sigh. There are times when I really enjoy the school holidays. But not this time. I mean come on! I've only just begun to enjoy going to school and seeing my crazy bunch of wacky friends! But unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Or maybe we can go out together as a group next month. Or whenever's possible.

I am really enjoying the school holidays right now. Oh yeah.

Huh.

Sunday, November 14

11:59 PM

Okay, I have to admit. This movie made me cry like a baby. Like really, really cry. I watched this movie with my mum because she asked me to join her, but since I had work to do I only watched a few scenes. And in the end, I stayed glued to my seat to watch this touching movie.

The movie is very, very touching. It's based on a true story about a very loyal dog who was found by some dude. This dog literally waits at the train station for his master to come home from work every day. So then one day the master dies, and the dog, whose name is Hachiko, still kept on waiting for his master at the same spot at the same train station every day for nine years. Can you imagine that? Nine years!

Eventually, the dog passed on as well. I think he died at the spot where he waited for his master for nine years, if I'm not mistaken.

Anyhoo, I think this movie is a very meaningful movie. I've never cried like this before when watching a movie, but this particular one succeeded in making me do so. In fact, come to think of it, I still get teary eyed whenever I think about this dog.

I am so moved :')

Saturday, November 13

9:14 PM

I want this and only this camera for my birthday :) Hehe.

This is an instant camera, something like a polaroid camera and it is really cool! I found this from a website that Ash showed me and apparently, she got her lomo camera from this website, too!

And the website is...http://www.theclickshop.net/products/fuji-instax-210/

Ngehehe. I really, really want this. If I were to buy this using my own money, it's going to take me two months to be able to compensate for this camera. I've seen one of my schoolmates use this, heck I've even used it, and it's really absolutely cool! I've always wanted a polaroid camera!

Oh well. Better start saving money now! :D

1:24 PM

Look what I sent to myself.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on October 09, 2010, and sent into the future (now the present) through FutureMe.org.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear FutureMe,

I sent this to you on the 9th of October 2010 at 9:16pm! Haha.

And it's your birthday! Happy birthday FutureMe! We're officially sixteen! Yay!

HAHAHAHAHA bodozzz!

Friday, November 12

9:22 PM

There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation,
And school comes along just to end it...

Great. Thanks to Tasha, the main theme song for that Phineas and Ferb cartoon is stuck in my head -.- She's been singing that song in school and since then the song is literally on loop in my mind. Haha.

But I gotta admit, the song is quite catchy though :P

Anyhoo.

I had quite a pretty crappy day today. I found out after recess that the 4B girls invited us 4K girls to watch Paranormal Activity with them in the AVA room. But unfortunately, we had four periods of physics to attend. Great. I was so disappointed because I thought it'd be cool to watch Paranormal Activity with the 4B girls -- you know, to tighten our bond, HAHA -- but instead we were stuck with four long periods of physics. I was really bummed and to make things worse, I have a lot of editing to do for the school magazine. I already have the dummy copy in my hands and there are errors in almost every page! All this plus the cover for the school magazine has to be done by Monday.

Now, isn't that just awesome? Looks like I won't be sleeping these couple of days. I'll return to school on Monday looking like a panda.

So during physics, while waiting for our teacher to get things settled, I went through the dummy copy of the school magazine and I got more and more flustered at the errors. Some of them are just so ridiculous and I really don't think that anybody would care to notice. So in the end, I became very moody and flustered and angry and disappointed all at once that I was expressionless. And we had to deal with four periods of physics, to top it all off.

I was so glad when physics ended. During the last ten minutes before school ended, the song Graduation by Vitamin C was put through the intercom at a deafening volume, not to mention the sound system was equivalent to that of a laptop's no-bass speakers. Apparently the fifth formers had a talk while we were busy with physics, and I guess since today is the last day of school for them before SPM arrives, they were crying and reminiscing the good ol' times they shared together while that awfully sad song was played through the intercom.

Honestly, when I watched the fifth formers looking for their teachers and friends and hugging them and crying on their shoulders, I was a bit teary eyed. I would cry, too, if I were to be in their position...which seems to be about a year away. I mean, come on, after five years of being in CBN, who would want to leave? Definitely not me :)

And then it hit me that in about two months, we, as in us fourth formers, will be attending our last year of school. Our last year of being in CBN. We'll only have ten months to catch up on our studies, ten months to have fun and goof around with our friends, ten months of wearing our school uniform, and ten months of making our last year in school the best ever. I really do not want school to end because even though there's a lot of stress and pressure, I really think that you wouldn't be who you are today if it weren't for your school, and also your friends of course.

Sigh. I'm kind of sad that this coming Monday is our last day of school for the year. Only the first, second, and fourth formers will be coming on Monday, so yeah. Monday is going to be our last day of being in Form 4 and I'm pretty sad about it. When our school principal said that she was happy to see the attendance of the students this morning, she said that it's because we love being in school. Honestly, in my case, that's actually precisely true. I love being in school, especially during the last few months of school for the year, because that's the time where there's not much to do except goofing around with your classmates.

I'm going to miss school. That's for sure. I'm really proud to call myself a CBNer because if I were to go to a different school, I wouldn't have met all my wonderfully fabulous friends and teachers and I wouldn't be who I am today.

So, thank you, CBN, for being a part of my life :)

Phew. Okay. Jiwang jap. Haha.

Anyhoo, I'm gonna start editing the school magazine now. I bet I'll be jumping off a cliff by the time I'm halfway through. Sigh.

Wednesday, November 10

5:57 PM

Today...I had a blast!

First of all, today is my sixteenth birthday. I'm finally turning sixteen...and honestly I don't feel any different. Haha.

Anyhoo, I'm not gonna write a lot for this post, but I just wanna thank EZLEEN NATASHA and NOOR ASHIQIN and the others who are, I quote Ezleen, "part of the plan," for the wonderful surprise today! It really means a lot to me and I really enjoyed the chocolate mud cake and our little crazy "photography session". Haha. I will definitely remember this birthday in the years to come and honestly, it really is a sweet sixteen!

The number of birthday wishes I received today is really overwhelming! I got over a hundred birthday wishes on Facebook today and just as a sign of appreciation, I personally thanked each and one of them. Man, that was tiring. Haha. Even my classmates sang me the "Happy Birthday" song this morning!

Not only did all the birthday wishes make my day, I also found out that I'm in the third place in class! God, that even made me happier!

Overall, I am really having a good time today! I really wish this day wouldn't end, but unfortunately, life goes on. The euphoria is still not wearing off and I'm just so flattered from all the birthday wishes and I'm also greatly thankful to God for being able to live at this age. Syukur, Alhamdulillah! :)

Oh, and to those who wished me a very happy birthday...

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I really don't know how to express my gratitude, but the birthday wishes really mean a lot to me. So, thank you so much, for making my birthday a wonderful day! It is a sweet sixteen that I will surely cherish for the rest of my life :)

♥♥♥

Monday, November 8

1:24 PM

The Happiest Day in My Life.

It was a fine, lovely morning of the sixteenth of March 2012. I woke up from a good night's sleep filled with many sweet dreams that I would cherish for all my life. The sound of the early morning birds chirping and singing by the tree next to my window filled me with contentment and happiness. But then, I remembered...It was the morning I shall get my SPM results.

Hastily I got up from my bed and took a shower. I donned my favourite blood red "baju kurung" and briskly stuffed my SPM candidate's slip into my bag. Without even bothering to make my bed or brush my hair, I clumsily went down the stairs to the kitchen to eat my breakfast. But, my appetite had gone with the wind. I felt sick right to the pit of my stomach. I wanted to throw up, despite the emptiness of my intestines.

Mama greeted me with a motherly hug. I was squished in between her bosom and her strong arms as the result of hard labour. She wished me luck for my results and told me that no matter how many A's I got, she knew I had done my best. I trusted her, knowing that I had done my one-hundred-percent.

So I ate the full English breakfast Mama prepared for me. I ate the plate full of a couple of sausages, a sunny-side-up egg, a couple of slices of turkey ham, a hashbrown, some salad, and I drank a glass of orange juice while Mama went to get ready to drop me off at school. It was such a fulfilling, yet tasty, breakfast that I had forgotten about what would happen in a couple of hours. But then, I remembered again.

The SPM results. The phrase shook me hard and sent chills up and down my spine. My hearts was pounding, hammering loudly and rapidly against my ribcage that I was certain my heart was going to pounce out at any moment. But I knew I had done my best for SPM, and I knew that my results would be phenomenal. But there was just something, like a bug, deep down inside me telling me that I would be a shame to the family. Nausea conquered me and I soon found myself over the sink, coughing and emptying the contents of my stomach.

A few minutes later, Mama came out of her bedroom sporting a pair of black slacks and a t-shirt that said "World's Greatest Mom" that I had gotten her for her birthday. Her perfume wafted into my nose and instantly my mind went at ease, recognizing the scent of Mama's Elizabeth Arden perfume that she has been wearing since the day I was brought into this world.

While I went to brush my hair a little and apply a bit of balm onto my lips, Mama got the car running. Then, I clumsily got in the car and had some difficulties with the seatbelt buckle since I was so twitchy and nervous. All the way to school Mama had said nothing, knowing it would make me more nervous than ever. Instead, she had played her favourite singer, Elvis Presley, on the stereo of her sedan. The catchy music calmed me down by just a fraction.

Mama dropped me off and went to run some errands. I had told her not to wait for me, not wanting to see the look on her face if I were to tell her about my shameful results until I got home.

When I arrived at school, a wave of nostalgia hit me. All the precious memories, all the ups and downs I've had were fossilized in this school. I saw many students walking and giggling in their school uniforms, and I immediately wished I had not grown up so fast.

My best friend caught sight of me and touched her cheeks to mine. We hugged and talked after not seeing each other for so long. Then, she led me to my group of friends that I had always found very friendly and humorous. We chatted about our lives and about recent issues, we reminisced the old times and the laughs we shared together, but not one spoke of the SPM results that we were soon to find out.

Out of the blue, the school principal announced over the intercom for all the SPM candidates of 2011 to file into the hall. My heart pace quickened and again, I was in dire need of puking. But fortunately, this time I did not.

As usual, the school principal announced the achievements of the whole school first. She announced how many had gotten straight A's, how many had failed, and et cetera. When she finally announced the names of who had gotten ten, nine, eight, and seven A's, my heart pace quickened up to a point where I would soon be unconscious due to a heart attack.

Then, I heard my name. "Nur Iman Nedhiera bt Hashim," the name was announced through the microphone, and I leaped out of my seat and ran to the stage to get my certificate. I found out that I had gotten nine out of nine A's, and it was simply the best feeling in the world to know that I have finished and graduated the upper secondary school with flying colours.

Later, after the announcement, I hastily ran up to my friends to see how they were doing. They passed with flying colours, too, and we shared our tears and laughter of joy with each other.

Mama finally found out about my results and when she picked me up from school that day, I could not help but smile and beam proudly to myself, the feeling of euphoria still not wearing off. I have done my best and I deserved what I got. It was simply the best day of my life to know that I have finally finished the upper secondary school and graduated with flying colours.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a future to think about.

That...now that was an essay I'd written months ago. It was for our first monthly test, I think, and man how I wish all of that were to be true.

Reading this essay again makes me feel so inspired and motivated to keep moving forward. It gives me the mental support I need to push myself beyond greater heights to ace my SPM exam next year.

Oh yes, how I wish all that's been written in this essay were to be true.

Nur Iman Nedhiera bt Hashim. 9A's. InsyaAllah :)

Thursday, November 4

12:43 PM

If you're so bloody depressed about your pitiful life, go see a psychologist or a counselor, okay? You have serious issues, man. And they're not really the ones that other people would care enough to listen to.

Instead of letting the whole world know that you're so depressed and you feel like slashing your wrists, why not save yourself some humility and sort things out in a mature way? What, you think the internet is some way of solving your problems? By letting everyone know that you're so terribly f***ed up? You seriously have no idea what kind of attention you're getting.

The world doesn't always revolve around you, okay? Not everyone has the time to spare some pity for you just because you're messed up. Reality check, you're not the only one with problems. Everyone else has problems and please, don't think that we all have time to listen to your ramblings about your problems, because we don't.

You think everyone likes you? Well, you're wrong. Everyone literally hates you because you're really what I consider a bitch. And yes, I don't use that term often, but in your case, I'll make an exception. You're a real stereotypical bitch. You talk bad about other people, you post them all on the internet, you think it's so cool to do such things, and do you know that our school principal actually monitors our Facebook profiles?

I don't know where you came from but I really hope you do something about your selfish attitude. Oh yeah, that's the word, you're selfish. I don't really care if you're gonna read this and then bitch about me to the whole world, I just hope that you'll get something good out of your attitude and all the things you do. Which I bet you won't.

Grow up lah. Sixteen years old and still acting like a bratty five-year-old.

Wednesday, November 3

7:08 PM

I'm Rofl. Ashiqin is Lmao. Together, we are waffle lemau. HAHA -_-

So....

I had a good day today, despite the fact that my nose was (and still is) constantly blocked due to the cold I'm suffering from. Yeah, I have a cold.

Funny. They call it a cold, but you're not even cold. Haha. Ha. Ironic. Haha.

Anyhoo. Again I stayed in school until 4pm today and I asked Ash to keep me company. I was keeping her sausage. I mean, keeping her hostage. Man, did we talk a lot today. We jumped from one topic to another and then she made jokes and I laughed and then I made jokes and she laughed...or did she? She's got a great deal of a pokerface going on -_-

I had fun staying back in school today. Especially when I had one of my best friends to talk to.

Ash and I talked about Tasha. Jeng jeng jeng...ha kutuk! Hahahaha, no lah. If we were to be one of the characters in Friends, which character would we be? So Ash said I would be Monica, since I'm a perfectionist and fussy and I can't stand dirtiness, she would be Chandler because she's the one who makes lame jokes (haha! *points finger*) and when she explains her jokes, she'd be the one who ends up laughing, not the listener (haha! Again, *points finger*), and Tasha would be Phoebe, or Joey. HAHA.

By the way, Tasha, you can ask Ash why she thinks you're like Phoebe, or Joey. Hahahaha.

I had a great three-hour-conversation with Ash this afternoon. Not only that, I also got free lunch! Wahooo! Apparently the PBSM girls had one extra pack of chicken rice, so Foong gave it to me. Yay! Man, that was some good chicken rice! Haha. I also brought with with me today my Vicks inhaler. You know, that small cylindrical thing that contains Vicks that you can inhale to soothe a blocked nose? Yeah. It was my new best friend for the day and from time to time, I'd stick it up my nose and inhale deeply to soothe my blocked nose. I really didn't care if I looked silly, haha. At one point while chatting with Ash in the canteen, I inhaled the Vicks inhaler too deeply that my nostril became too "cold", and I had to sneeze seven times in a row! Haha. Not only was the canteen empty except for a few groups of people, my sneeze was so loud that I think the girls who sat at the table next to us were looking at me -_-

I had a really great time today! It would've been more fun if Tasha were there! :(
Before we went home, we stopped by at 4B's fundraising stall. Joanne was the only one taking care of the fundraising at that time and we saw cupcakes for sale! Hehe. So before we proceeded to our vehicles, we bought a cupcake each for ourselves, topped with ooey-gooey chocolate and three tiny bits of marshmallows. Yummmm.

When I got home, I was feeling tired so I decided to take a nap. I have a cold, my voice sounds like as if something is stuck in my nose -- which is true, actually. I have mucus in there muahahaha -- and I get tired easily. After I woke up from my nap, I felt slightly groggy and my ears felt blocked. I could still hear very well with my ears, but it feels like as if something is stuck all the way inside the ear canals and when I try to "push" it out, nothing happens. I really hate having a cold because firstly, most of the time I can only breathe through one of my nostrils and secondly, I get tired more easily.

This sucks.

I hope I'll feel better when tomorrow comes.

So then I took a shower and...now I'm here. Haha.

So overall, I had a wonderful day. Now that school is ending for the year, I've been wanting to just hang around in the school compound with my friends and just, you know, chill. Yesterday Ash told me that she won't be able to go out for one month when her parents are off to Hajj, and she said she'll be grounded at home from the 8th of November. My brain was working pretty slow at that time, so then when I finally connected the dots, I found out that it was just two days before my birthday. Which means that she won't be able to go out to celebrate my birthday with me. I was planning that maybe we could have lunch and watch a movie together for my birthday, but since Ash is grounded, then it's not gonna happen. But then again, it doesn't really matter. All I want is just to celebrate my birthday with my friends and it doesn't really matter where. As long as I get to spend my time with my friends and have fun with them, then that's just fine with me :)

Okay. Now I can't breathe through my left nostril. Isn't this great? *sniffles*

Tuesday, November 2

11:48 PM

Heh, isn't it funny...people create a Facebook account to make friends and to catch up with their old friends, not to create enemies.

But...sadly there are some people in this world who just love to make enemies, courtesy of Facebook, even though they may not realize it.

Hahah. How ironic people can get nowadays.

6:37 PM

I am skrood!

Man am I swamped. I have a few tasks to complete by tonight and I'm not sure if I can. It's one of those days where I get stressed over a plentiful mound of work to be done ASAP. It's one of those days where I need caffeine to keep me awake and alert.

*Gulp* I just drank some Pepsi. Got caffeine right?

Anyhoo, I stayed in school until 4pm today. I had an impromptu plan with my friends to walk over to Capsquare to grab some lunch, but in the end I decided against going with them because we had to discuss our forum for tomorrow. So, yeah, I lingered in the school canteen with my friends and we tried to be productive.

So first we discussed about our forum. No need to bore you with that.

Moving on, me and Atasha discussed about the drama for the Form 5 interclass drama next year. Apparently, our classmates are not being so cooperative about it so in the end we came up with a very interesting script and if they don't like it, then screw them. Unless they can come up with a better idea, we're sticking to the one we came up with just now.

So then the clock struck 3.30, and then me and Atasha walked back to where our friends were since we had to have some silence around us to be able to discuss about the drama. We talked, laughed, yadi yadi yada, and man did I laugh a lot today! Hehe.

I think I'm coming down with a flu. I woke up this morning and my voice felt hoarse and rather sengau. My nose is even more blocked than before and it's annoying the crap out of me. Apparently right now my left nostril is blocked and I can only breathe through my right nostril. HAHA. I hate when that happens.

Anywaaaayy I think I'd better get off this website now. I have a massive pile of work to do, ahah.

Skrood for life -_-

Monday, November 1

5:52 PM

I'm kinda sorta looking forward to the first day of school next year. Haha.

I'll be a fifth former next year. Damn. It feels like just yesterday I was fresh out of primary school and I was just getting my feet wet in the ambiance of secondary school. Now...? I'm ending Form 4 soon, and next year will be a fresh new year and I'll be in Form 5.

And the year after that I won't be in school anymore.

DAMN. I really hate the thought of me leaving school for good. I'm gonna miss my school friends, and some of my juniors who are so friendly, and the teachers, and the school uniform, and the school hall, and yeaah the list goes on. I honestly can't picture myself being in college. I honestly can't picture myself growing up and becoming a successful architect, or a medical scientist, or a graphic designer! I honestly can't. I'm really enjoying my time here in CBN, although sometimes stress and exams tend to get in my way, but I will definitely cherish all the good moments in high school :')

I think it's true when they say that the best moments of your life are all from when you're in high school. I've gained a lot of experiences from high school and I've been exposed to many different opportunities. It's f***ing awesome! :D

Honestly, I really love my school. I can't imagine myself being in a different school and honestly, I'm kinda proud to call myself a CBNer. Yeah yeah yeah I know I'm lame but is loving your school so wrong? I really love my school, I love the teachers there, and I just love how our school is in the middle of the city and yet is still close to the forest. I think CBN is one of a kind :')

I don't want to leave school. You youngsters are probably thinking otherwise at the age of thirteen, fourteen, but I can honestly tell you then when you're about to end your fourth year in secondary school and get your feet wet in your fifth year, you'll start to feel the longing to stay in school for a longer period of time.

I will definitely miss my high school days :)

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