iman nedhiera

Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)

HTTP://WWW.FLICKR.COM/IMAN_NEDHIERA

Sunday, October 30

11:13 PM

10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's

Thursday, October 27

10:56 PM

Today happens to be the last tuition class for Chemistry and I honestly had no idea about it until Mr Wee told the whole class about it. Somehow the fact that there'll be no more Chemistry classes with Mr Wee after this just struck a chord in me. Class was as usual, but I felt like as if something was just off today. We ended the class with Mr Wee wishing us the best of luck for SPM, some words of wisdom and etc. I must admit, I got a bit teary eyed as he said those words and when he left, that was the end of it.

It's funny how a few months ago when I just started my tuition classes with Mr Wee, my first impression of him was a very negative one. He's quite a strict man, very punctual, but beneath all that he's actually a fun, caring, and sometimes funny person. Back then I used to dread going to tuition classes because I'd feel so lonely since I was literally the only girl from CBN in the tuition center. But since a few weeks back, I started looking forward to my tuition classes because I really wanted and needed those extra classes.

And just as I'm about to enjoy my tuition classes, they're already ending.

"And the worst part is, before it gets any better, we're headed for a cliff," -- Turn It Off, Paramore.

I'm not just sad that my tuition classes are ending soon -- next week, to be more accurate -- but I'm also sad over the fact that in just a few weeks I'll be leaving school, leaving CBN, for good. I remember the last day of school before the Deepavali holidays started, which was last Friday, we were having our annual Everybody's Day in school. I was one of the last among my classmates to go home, and then I bumped into Sabrina. I lingered with her for a while, talked to her for a bit since I didn't get to see her the whole day. Before we departed, she told me that we only have five days of school left before the one week holiday and then SPM. Somehow I just got so shocked over that statement that my hands flew to my mouth and I shouted, "Ya Allah!" and the waterworks came. I'm not so sure if Sabrina saw that I was crying a little but I really did. Then she pointed out that we won't have that much time to be together anymore, to just let loose and fool around like morons like we usually do -- or did -- in school. So then Sabrina and I hugged each other before I had to leave, and the tears came even more.

It's funny how all this while I just couldn't wait for school to be over, to leave the school grounds for good. And here I am now not wanting all this to end. I've had so many ups and downs the whole year but it wouldn't have been a splendid one if it weren't for my friends and fellow Klassmates -- yes, klassmates, as in 5K, my class, haha. After dinner just now I sat in my room and took a moment to think about all the good times I've had this year with my klassmates. Hari Membina Azam, the drama competition where we claimed the second placing, the seminar at UM that wasted our money (it was a crappy seminar haha), Sports Day, Teachers' Day, solat hajat, aaaargh and many more. So many great memories with them that it's hard to say goodbye.

Oh god I'm tearing up again now. All those ridiculously hilarious moments we've shared in class, laughing and fooling around like kids who got sugar-high, those awkward funny moments with our class teacher Encik Suhaimi! Oh my god I'm gonna miss all those. I think I already am. I can't wait to end school but at the same time I don't want to say goodbye. To my klassmates. To my teachers. To CBN.

2011 is ending too fast. I wish there's a brake somewhere so the year wouldn't accelerate so fast. I'm really not ready to face SPM, to face the goodbyes that my klassmates and I are inevitably going to share. I have no doubts that there'll be a lot of tears on the last day of school for us school-leavers before SPM is commenced. I can honestly say that I've had a really good year in school this year. As a senior, as a school-leaver. CBN and 5K 2011, I will surely miss.

2:49 PM

Omg how can I not have heard of this song before?! The intro is killerrrrrrr! And Florence is so adorable in this video! I love it when music artists make a video montage of their "behind the scenes" recordings and use that montage as an official music video. Just makes everything seem so real instead of those typical scripted music videos that never seem to make sense to me. Aahhh yes F+tM never fails to amaze me :)

Tuesday, October 25

6:28 PM

My 1000th post goes to Noor Ashiqin, for truly being an amazing girl.

"Off to a new topic, once upon a time (or more accurately, last year), there were three girls. They were always seen together, most of the time making a fool of themselves in the school canteen. They were close friends. Suddenly, they weren't anymore. 2 of them stayed together while the other part of the former trio was never seen with them again. Many asked why, but no one could truly understand their explanations, because in the end, only they could feel that level of hurt and disappointment. Well, that one girl is Iman Nedhiera. Hear ye, hear ye, we're all okay now! We all agreed that it was all of our faults, and it's stupid to continue the fight. Tiring really. And even though I have said bad things about her before (because who hasn't during a fight?), I can honestly say that I'm glad to have her back in my life. "

And I'm proud to say that I'm glad to have you, and Ezleen of course, back in my life too :)

4:07 PM

THIS MADE MY DAY! I swear the moment I read this email, I literally leaped out of my chair, jumped around in my room and squealed in absolute delight! Aaahhh Alhamdulilllah :) I'm hoping my photo will be selected as the winner so I'll get that Nikon D3100 and RM2000 I've been dreaming about! :D

Saturday, October 22

2:25 PM

Ezleen's interpretation of how I look like as a cartoon. Hahahah

Source : http://ezleennatasha.blogspot.com/

12:44 AM

NUR IMAN NEDHIERA BT HASHIM.

SPM 10A's!

YOU HEAR?!

Monday, October 17

6:08 PM

I'm happy to say -- no, more like ecstatic, to say that we're all okay now. Hoping for the best :)

Friday, October 14

3:26 PM

An incredibly craptastic day. School was anything but fun, especially early in the morning during assembly. Super long irrelevant, incoherent announcements about the same thing over and over and over (x100000) again. This morning's assembly was super long and tiring and all of us were just sick and tired of listening to the same announcements. Kebersihan la, this la, that la. Every single day you hear the same thing! It's annoying and time-wasting and irrelevant and pointless. Truth be told I don't think any of us actually care.

We had a seminar on Sejarah today. It was rather fruitful to me, Alhamdulillah. Again, I managed to sit right in front and after listening to the speaker, I think I'm finally opening my heart to Sejarah. I know there's only a month left before SPM, but there's still time for me to work on Sejarah, and also my other weak subjects. Don't give me all this "no time left" nonsense. I'm sick of it and I know for a fact that it's not true. There's still some time left in a month.

I sat next to Atasha, and the two girls who sat next to her were irritating. Kept on making noises and were awfully rude. When we filed back into the hall and took our seats after recess, they did the most horrendous thing ever. Apparently they wanted to see a teacher and at that moment, the teacher was standing at one end of the desks arranged side-by-side, talking to another student. These hooligans kept on calling her from their seats but of course the teacher didn't hear them. Or maybe she did but didn't bother to respond -- since they were being so rude. After a while these hooligans gave up trying to call her, then they called her "beruk". I swear I nearly yelled at them once I heard them saying THAT about a TEACHER. Like duh, if you know the teacher is talking to another student, and doesn't hear you calling her, then get your fat asses up and approach her la! I said that to Atasha and she agreed. I mean, who the hell do you think you are to expect a teacher to come to you? You want something from a teacher, you go to them. Don't expect them to go up to you, because they won't. No ounce of respect at all. Selfish, ignorant, arrogant children.

The Sejarah seminar was on from morning till about 1pm. We'll have another one on Monday. After the seminar ended the teacher in charge called me up on stage to handle the PA system, just because I'm an ex-prefect. But of course, I wasn't in charge of the PA system during my whole period of being a prefect, so as a result I went back down to search for one of the prefects who used to handle the PA system. I found Rishan, and she asked me to accompany her to do the job so I did. Then we walked up to the school labs to return back the extension wire that was borrowed earlier. We had quite a good talk along the way. She managed to lift my mood up after a whole morning of sitting on those chairs, listening to a talk on Sejarah. My back started aching really bad and that walk up to the lab kinda did the trick.

Nowadays I've just incredibly annoyed by school. I've just realized that ever since I've stopped being a prefect, I've been disdaining the rules and regulations of the school haha. Especially those ridiculous morning assemblies that take up your studying time. We don't really need all these irrelevant info going into our heads. Well, at least, I know I don't. We've got facts to memorize and formulas to understand for pity's sake -_- I guess you can say that this morning's assembly really ruined my mood the whole day. The assembly was ridiculously long and pointless and most of the time we were scolded in such a hyperbolic manner for the littlest of things! After a while we all got antsy and peeved. I know I was.

Heh, and to make things worse, after us school-leavers filed into the hall to take our seats for the seminar, we were scolded really bad and it was just so embarrassing because the speaker was already there! The teacher screamed and yelled at the dumb microphone and we were all like, dude, chill! I guess it's fair to say that the hall was a chaos, but it wasn't entirely our fault! We were told earlier to line up at the back of the hall to get our Interlok novels swapped with the new version. Some of the girls already swapped so they remained seated at their tables. Naturally the hall would (obviously) be noisy since there were girls going to and fro the front and back part of the hall. Then the teacher yelled at the microphone -- probably causing severe damage to my eardrums -- asking us why the back part of the hall was so crowded and chaotic. Little did she know we were only doing what we were told to do -_________-

I swear I can't wait to get out of school. I really hate going to school just because of those darn assemblies.

Thursday, October 13

10:58 PM

So, Mr Ghana, my Addmaths tuition teacher says that if you end up getting bad results for SPM, then you've just wasted eleven whole years of going to school. DAMN THAT REALLY HIT ME HARD.

My brain has reached its capacity at the moment so I just feel like writing and venting out my feelings. Today was pretty productive, I must say. Alhamdulillah. We had some Program Kaut A for BM this morning in school and I learned a lot. Atasha and I were lucky enough to sit right in front of the hall, right under the speaker's nose haha. Literally. I stayed in school until 3pm before going out for lunch at Capsquare.

Initially when school ended at 1.10, I planned to do Terengganu's Chemistry trial paper that I printed out last night. But then, some of my good friends from 5B came up to me and asked if I'd like to join them attend Cik Faridah's extra class for Biology. I was contemplating at first because I wanted to revise Chemistry, but then again my Biology isn't really that great so in the end I decided to follow them. And it was anything BUT the wrong decision to make.

We had the extra class for Biology in Lab 1. I swear I was the only 5K girl there haha. The rest were all from 5B, the first class. I'm from the third class. I guess it was a good environment for me to learn in because first of all there weren't that many students in there, and all of them are super smart and they're super focused on their studies. I was the only thorn in the bush haha. Although we only answered Paper 1 of Biology from god-knows-which-state, I managed to learn quite a few things. I sat next to my good friends Rishantinee and Yadd and we had quite a good time there hehe.

We ended around 2.30 so I decided to go to the surau and pray. At about 3pm I left school grounds and met up with Malik at AIA and we walked to Capsquare for lunch. We were supposed to study Physics but both of us were so mentally tired that I decided to just call it off and just have lunch instead.

Next week onward will be very hectic because my daily hours will be occupied with tuition classes and extra classes and whatnot. Right now I literally go for tuition every weekday night and it's tiring. I just can't wait till SPM is over so I can finally relax and just forget about the world for a moment there.

Since I find it hard for me to study at home by myself, where there are tons of distractions to lure me away from my trusty books, I've decided to go home at least one hour later from school everyday, or maybe every two days, just so I can study. There's not much to do in school anyway, and at this time of the year, the school grounds would be almost empty by 1.30, excluding the afternoon session girls. The canteen would be quiet and empty enough for me to study. I guess this is just a way of disciplining myself so I'd actually study instead of waste my time at home napping.

Tomorrow we'll have a seminar on Sejarah in school and I really need to be fully awake and alert for this. Sejarah is my weakest subject in my history of 11 years in school, haha pun intended.

Just four more weeks till SPM comes. Seven more weeks till ABSOLUTE FREEDOM comes. I can do this. Yeah.

I can't believe I still have the time to write that much right now but I'm just so mentally tired. I can't afford to get bad results for SPM, I just can't. I must be a top-scorer. I KNOW I can and WILL be.

Wednesday, October 12

6:15 PM

Nur Iman Nedhiera bt Hashim. 10A's SPM.

Ah yes, I can feel it now. Amin :)

Sunday, October 9

8:06 PM

I just love my home. Especially the garden. Especially when it's sunny outside and the weather's just beautiful. I'm saving money for a Sprocket Rocket lomo camera that I hope to buy after SPM. I think it's time I own one. I've been so infatuated with lomo cams for the past few months and I've been considering getting a lomo cam for quite a while. The picture above was actually shot with my phone and then I used an app to apply a filter to it. But then again where's the fun in that? When it comes to filtered photos like this one, I'd actually prefer to have The Real Thing, if you know what I mean. Somehow I just like the thrill of going around with a lomo cam, shooting random objects and breathtaking scenery, not knowing how the pictures are gonna turn up until you go to the shop and get them printed. Baru la best!

I found out about this Sprocket Rocket camera from Malik last night since he's planning to buy one too. I've surveyed some other lomo cameras out there and I kinda like this one. Although it's a bit expensive -- might cost double the price of a Holga -- around RM300 or so, but the pictures this camera produce are stunning! And the different filters and effects that you can apply are just amazing! And plus I've been a photography enthusiast since I was fifteen or so, so I don't think this will be a waste of my money. It's not like I'm gonna buy it just to show off, like some people would. So, hopefully I'll be able to get one as soon as SPM ends :)

Thursday, October 6

5:00 PM

Hello. I'm Paranoid :)

Wednesday, October 5

5:45 PM

"We've even planned to have a road trip together when we're older. I can imagine us all huddled up in a tiny car, cranking up the volume on the radio, taking turns to drive the car on our way to our destination. Hehe." - Taken from my blog, March 2011.

It's hard to forget you girls.

Tuesday, October 4

5:20 PM

14th November - 1st December.

SIJIL PEPERIKSAAN MENGARUT.

Ohhpp I meant uhhh SIJIL PEPERIKSAAN MALAYSIA.

~(^.^~) ~(^.^)~ (~^.^)~

Sunday, October 2

8:57 PM

Ah yes I feel like writing today. It's been quite some time since I've written a really long post haha. Anyway, over the past few days, I'm rather surprised to find myself having that drive and motivation to start -- yes, start -- working harder for SPM, now that it's merely a month away. And oh god I hope I don't jinx it by saying this but at this rate, I think I'm capable of achieving my target in SPM :)

I admit, I haven't really been getting the most plausible results throughout the year, and my SPM Trials results were just disappointing. At one point I just felt like giving up, like I couldn't do it anymore. Suddenly all those negative thoughts came penetrating through my fragile mind and I felt like the biggest loser in the world when I saw how badly I did in my trials. But it didn't take me long to get right back up again. I kept thinking about how I've been so negative and pessimistic all year round and then I suddenly realized that now's not the time to hide under a rock and mourn about all the things that I should have and should not have done for the past few months. I've made a lot of mistakes, I studied but it was not enough, and right now I can feel myself shifting into Gear 5.

I've had a pretty rough week, to be honest. It felt like a reaaaally looooooong week because I've had so many things going on...in my head. So many emotions overwhelmed me that I ended up in tears before going to bed. On Thursday I had a really honest conversation with my classmate Sonia and she told me things that I would've never known if it weren't for her. She told me how people used (or maybe still do) think about me, she told me how SPM is all just some crappy bullshit, and I'm not offending anyone here but she also told me how last year's batch of fifth-formers only got so many A's because the grading system was so insultingly downgrading and blahblahblah. It's been a while since I've had a really honest conversation with someone in school, and I opened up to her about my personal problems and she was such a good listener and a good adviser. I felt so much better when school ended and that was when I found the drive and motivation to study for SPM back in me. That night I had to endure four hours of tuition, but I didn't really mind anyhow.

Somehow I also found myself to be very estranged from my religion. From Allah. I had my time of the month, I couldn't pray, and I always hate that feeling when you want to pray but you know you can't because well, you just can't. I felt myself being so far away from Allah and it freaked me out. It still does. I admit, back when I was 13, I used to lie about praying. I admit I was wrong, I'm not proud of it but when I was 14, during the fasting month, I remember heading to the surau with my classmates to pray. And from that day on, somehow my heart just opened up more to Allah and I started to prioritize my prayers more. I started praying and from then on I noticed a great deal of change in my life. I was more calm, more patient with things, and I just could feel myself becoming a better person. The thing is, it took me that long to finally fulfill my duties as a Muslim and pray, and my biggest fear is suddenly losing myself from Allah's hands and neglect my prayers. I've made a promise to myself that I will never, ever become those kind of Muslims who lie about praying, who neglect their prayers for more important things. So then I talked to Malik about it, and he didn't even fail to get me back on track of my priorities as a Muslim, and also as a student.

So many things have happened over the past week and I can feel myself becoming an entirely different person. I've discovered so many things about how people perceive(d) me in life and I'm trying my best to not live up to their negative expectations. I've realized that I've been trying so hard to please others that the results were otherwise. So right now, I'm trying to not care so much about what others think because I have much, much more important things to think about. Like SPM.

All I can say is now, Alhamdulillah. I do believe that Allah truly loves His believers. I'm not just saying this in terms of being a Muslim, but I've learned that whenever you're going through a hard time, it's just God's way of testing your patience and not forgetting how much you believe and trust in Him. It doesn't matter which religion you believe in, but always remember that God always loves you and He puts you in tough situations only to help you come out stronger. And that's what happened to me over the past week. And right now I just can't tell you how grateful I am to God for getting me here. Everything, even the most nasty, undesirable things, happen for a reason. You've just got to find it behind all that and be grateful to God later on.

Whew. That was a deep one. But yeaaahhaaa it just feels so good to write again. SPM's a month away, and I do believe that I can achieve my target. With my good friends around, I'm sure I'll be standing on that stage when they announce the SPM results, joining the rest of the top-scorers and shedding tears of pure joy and satisfaction.

Nur Iman Nedhiera bt Hashim. 5K 2011. 10A+. Possible? InsyaAllah :)

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