Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)


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Wednesday, December 30
8:45 PM

I hate KL. I really do.

Okaaay, maybe just a fraction of KL; Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman. God I hate that place. I swear to god never am I going to go walk around Jln TAR again.

Before I begin my rampage on the streets of KL, let me tell you how I woke up early this morning and headache became my greeting breakfast. I woke around 9-ish, since I had to go and buy exercise books for school next year. God, the zap!-ness of the headache hit me as soon as I shifted into a sitting position. I felt like my eyeballs were about to pop out of their sockets.

So I went into the shower. Aaaaah nothing greets you better in the morning than a refreshing, steamy, warm shower. I just love it when steam starts to cloud around the shower box when I shower with hot/warm water. Hehehe. And to make things better, I was using my new Palmolive body wash, something about thermal spa...something like that. Smells like berries. Yum!

After having a quick breakfast of my favourite cereal, Trix, my dad took me to school to buy the exercise books that I'll need for next year. Luckily there were not many people around, and we were sort of early. What I didn't know about earlier today was that the first formers were having their orientation day. Luckily they finished after I passed my checked book-list to the Makcik who organizes the bookshop, or else I'd have to wait for soooooo long.

After that my dad took me to Jln TAR. I hate that road. It's just so smoky and busy and noisy and loud. I hate environments like that. My dad parked his car in one of the open-space parking lots just across the road from Pertama Complex, and then we walked to my classmate's dad's bookstore, Mukmin. My classmate's dad owns the store, hehe. So, yeah, my dad was searching for a book with translations of the Quran, while I was at the back of the bookstore searching for revision books.

I'm still grasping to the fact that I'm about to become a fourth former in a few days, officially. I mean, it feels like as if it was just yesterday when I first entered form three. Yikes.

Anyway, in the end I got revision books on chemistry, biology, physics, and.....*inhale while speaking quickly* sejarah. Hoooo man. I'd be dumb as hell if I didn't get the Sejarah revision book. Don't ask me whether or not I'm going to be in the science stream next year, because I will. I don't mean to sound so overconfident, I mean, I got both A's on my maths and science for PMR, so I don't see why I shouldn't be in the science stream next year, unless I choose not to, which I won't.

Phew.

Eeep I'm so excited to start learning chemistry, biology, and physics! Hehe. And when I browse through my Sejarah revision book, I was kind of interested in learning the topics. I mean, we're going to learn about the Romans, and then the Egyptians, the Chinese civilization.....etcetera....quite interesting, really. I love the Romans and the Egyptians, though :D

Anyway, I hate Jln TAR. It's always crowded, it's smoky, and there are so many buggers -- oops, I mean beggars -- who come up to you for donations. While I was having lunch at KFC with my dad this afternoon, two beggars came in and asked for money from everyone. I believed they were not "affiliated" with each other. But still, I hate beggars. I mean, it's not that I don't want to donate any money to them, it's just that there are many people out there who pretend to be homeless beggars. For all you know, you could've given ten bucks to a rich man who owns a mansion who just pretends to be a beggar.

And the air? Oh my God the air. I could practically feel my lungs burning as the toxic substances in the air were inhaled into my body system. Okay, so that was just a wee bit of an exaggeration, but still! You can see how dirty the air is! I just hate smoky environments, because I hate smoke. I hate when the smell of smoke -- along with god knows what substances as well -- gets into my hair, my skin, my clothes. I hate it. So bad. Period.

And that is why I love Singapore for its clean air and convenient transportation. KL is messed up. So sue me if I'm being a hypocrite.



Thursday, December 24
7:43 PM

I woke up this morning after about five hours' worth of sleep. My brain was immediately alert and awake, in spite of the fact that today I had to be taking my PMR results. I slept at around 4am last night, since I couldn't sleep for some particular reason. I tried sleeping at around 12.30am, 1am, but my eyes still would not shut. So I brought the laptop upstairs to my room and watched New Moon. Haha. Oh Jacob!

Anyway, the anxiety and pressure still didn't hit me when I arrived at school at around 9.30am today. I was feeling kind of calm, and indifferent, when everyone else were either freaking out or getting antsy. I had a pretty good feeling about my results, so, yeah.

Okay, so the pressure hit me when we were already filing into the hall. I was starting to freak out (in an inconspicuous way) and I could hear my fast heartbeat loud and clear. In fact, my heart was beating so fast that it felt like as if my tiny heart would pounce out of my chest. Anyway, the short assembly started with a short and motivating speech from Pn Ann.

And then the moment arrived. Pn Ann started calling out the names of the girls who'd gotten straight A's and 7A's, and sure enough my name wasn't called up. I was feeling a bit defeated, but I still had high hopes. But Pn Ann did mention my best friend's name, though. Putri had gotten straight A's, and I was so proud of her! I knew she would've gotten straight A's, anyway, it was just that I wanted someone to confirm that.

My name wasn't called up. Okay, fine, whatever. And then we lined up according to our classes. When it was my turn to receive my result slip, my class teacher Mr. Low, said that he'd forgotten something that involved my results. Since the atmosphere there was chaotic and loud, I couldn't really hear what he said, because I was kind of dazed when he said that he'd forgotten something. I thought he'd forgotten to take my result slip, or something.

But, oh nooooo, Mr Low had forgotten to give my name to Pn Ann to be called up as one of the top scorers. At that point, I was clueless. I was like, huh? What? You mean....

And that's when I saw my result slip. Stamped next to seven subjects were definite As, but as for the other subject, a B was stamped next to it. Bloody hell, I just couldn't believe what I was seeing! At first I thought I was dreaming a very lucid dream, but I was sure I wasn't dreaming. Tears started welling up in my eyes, tears of joy, and that's when some of my friends gathered around me and congratulated me. At that point I didn't really care that Mr Low had forgotten to give my name to Pn Ann to be mentioned, because I was so relieved and euphoric!

Getting 7A's and 1B for my PMR is like...man...I can't even explain it! I mean yeah sure it's not straight A's, but still! I would've guessed that I'd gotten 6As, or maybe just 5, but I got more than I bargained for. It was like walking on clouds. You don't really know what's going on around you, because you're so happy and ecstatic and you just want to share the news with everyone. That was what it's like for me today.

I was really happy that my best friend had gotten straight A's for PMR. I even took pictures of her being interviewed by numerous journalists from God knows which newspaper they work for, just for the fun of it. But, if she gets to go to MRSM, I'll be really sad. I mean, yeah, I'm happy for her, but seeing that our results are so close together, we might even be in the same class next year! Oh God I don't want her to go to MRSM....is that selfish of me? I'm going to miss her, if she does get to go to MRSM. I'll be happy for her, you know, but I'm going to miss my best friend. Hehehe.

Anyway, yeah, I guess all the sweat I've secreted throughout the whole year has finally paid off. I'm so thankful and blessed, and I'm just over the moon. I couldn't have done it without the support of all my loved ones; my family, my friends, my seniors and juniors. God, it feels so good to succeed.

Alhamdulillah :)



Wednesday, December 23
12:35 AM

I just got back from Singapore, and I am tired. I'm so sleepy but I just feel like logging on to the internet before going to sleep. Haha.

I took a plane from Changi Airport all the way to Subang Airport at 10.40pm just now. The sucky part was that the customs found a 400ml bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo in my bag, one of the ones that can't be found here in bloody KL, and they said I had to either leave my precious shampoo there or go and buy little 100ml bottles and transfer the contents all in. I paid six frikkin' bucks at 7-E for four 100ml bottles, just so that I wouldn't lose my shampoo. Bloody....grr. Anyway, My sister and Kak Ani lingered with me until it's time for me to board the plane, and we shared a lot of laughter...I laughed a lot until I felt like as if my stomach was about to burst!

But before I went to the Changi Airport, Kak Lea and Kak Ani took me to a Thai Chinese restaurant somewhere in Bedok. I had a lot of chicken, a lot of protein in there, that my stomach was about to burst! I had two fried chickens, which were lovely, and I had a bit of lemon chicken. And then a bit of dim sum, some wantons, a mug of hot milo. Hehe. I ate a lot. Well, at least to me I did. I was so full!

I really had tons of fun in Singapore. During the day, while my sister goes out to work as a really talented designer, I would sit at the flat and go online, play Sims 3, read a book. And then when nighttime falls, my sister would take me out sightseeing around the city at night. She took me to Orchard Road, Bugis, VivoCity, Suntec, and the list goes on........And oh! If you go to Singapore, you have to go to Mustafa! It's this huge shopping complex where you can find literally anything good quality with very low prices! Hehehe.

I got some cool stuff there, too. I bought a couple of baby-tees with sarcastic remarks on them, and I got my very first pair of gladiator sandals, and many other things. But yeah the stuff there are pretty expensive after you've converted your ringgits into Singaporean dollars.

I also recorded in my mind some of the sarcastic but memorable phrases that Kak Lea and I came up with...

There was this optical store called YES, as in Your Eye Specialist. My sister and I laughed so hard at that corny name that we came up with our own ads, and trust me, they were cornier than the name!

Wow! Nice glasses! Where did you get it from?
Oh, I got it from Your Eye Specialist!
My eye specialist?
YES! Your Eye Specialist!

Haha. The first time we came up with that we laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes.

The Singaporean air smelt like mac 'n' cheese, I kid you not. Last week my sister took me out to see her new apartment, and that time it just stopped raining. I could not stop yapping on the fact that the air smelt like mac 'n' cheese or pasta. Seriously! Haha, I guessed it was just the air in Singapore.

And! And and, I really loved the fact that Singapore is very safe. I mean, here in KL, if you're an adolescent, you can never roam the streets or catch a bus or the train by yourself. But in Singapore, it was safe enough for me to take the train or the bus by myself, and it was safe for me to walk quite a distance to get lunch or go shopping for knick knacks. Even before I went to the airport, I had to walk from my sister's apartment where I stayed to the train station, which was quite a distance, and I had to take the train to my sister's office, with all the extra baggage on me; e.g laptop, a few underwears, a couple of shirts and some toiletries. Seriously, I could live in Singapore because it is so safe, but I really don't like the crowd there. Even on weekday nights the streets will be filled with people!

One of the best places I've been to was the East Coast Park, where my sister took me cycling. It is a very nice place with lots of trees everywhere, and it is overlooking the beach, so when you cycle some parts of the park, you can see the beach. The wind was strong, too. After cycling God knows how many kilometers that evening, I was surprised that I could still walk! All that cycling gave me sore legs, but I still had fun.

I met some cool people there, too. Exhibit A, Kak Ani. Man she's so cool. Haha. She was so fun around to be with and I had a lot of fun with her and my sister. I hope I'll get to see her again this weekend, though. Heheheh. I also met a couple of new friends of Kak Lea's, and they were very nice, too! They weren't snobbish and they were so nice that I didn't feel like as if I didn't exist to them ;)

Sigh. I miss Singapore already. Haha. But still, I'm going over to Singapore again with my family this Friday. The reason I had to come back was that I wanted to get my PMR results, which is in two frikkin' days, and I want to be the first one to see it. So Kak Lea got me a plane ticket, and I flew all the way from that tiny island to, well, here.

I had such a trauma two nights ago when I dreamed about receiving my PMR results. I was dreaming that I had only ONE A stamped on the slip next to one of the subjects. Bloody hell, that dream was so lucid that I was so, so relieved to know that it was just a dream. I just hope that that dream I had won't turn into reality. Sigh.

Honestly, I'm not so nervous about getting my results. I'm not looking forward to it, but at the same time I wish to just get it over and done with. I'm not excited, I'm not nervous, I'm just...indifferent...about receiving my PMR results. All that is important to me right now is whether or not I'll be in the science stream, because that's the class I'm planning to take. I don't want to be in accounts, and I don't want to be in arts. I want to be in the science stream, and I need to know that, not my PMR results! Anyway, yeah, I just wish to get it over and done with ASAP.

I can't wait to go back to Singapore this Friday! Yay!



Monday, December 14
11:54 PM

So, I was checking my Facebook inbox a few minutes ago. I rarely ever do that, check my message inbox, I mean.

Then I came across this message about some reunion thing. Okay, I'll be honest and not "hide" or "jaga hati orang", because, why should I? So, anyway, I was pretty taken aback by the "invitation", because the inviter is a very kind person. She invited a lot of people, our old "clique" when we were in CBN 2. Just a few of them are really nice to me, just a handful. The rest are blwergggghhhh.

There. I'm not hiding anything.

Moving on.

So these people were shocked to see my name in the list, like as if I have eight tentacles coming out of my torso. Anyway, they were all "OMG IMAN NEDHIERA?????" and all, and I thought that was so foolish. They KNOW I can read whatever they wrote, but hell-frikkin-O, if you want to talk the shit that comes out of your buttholes daily about me, at least do it discreetly, where I CAN'T READ IT. It is called "stab in the back" right? Not "stab in the front?" Or maybe my back hurt their knives. Oops.

Apparently these airheads clearly don't want me to attend the reunion, but really, I am MORE than glad to chew off my arm rather than "hanging out" with them.

At least I'm not some wild chick, right? I don't go around dressing like as if I have inadequate cash to buy proper clothes. Oops. Sorry, that didn't come out right. What I meant was, at least I don't dress like prostitutes! Ha. Ha. Pakai baju macam tak cukup kain pulak.

I'm sorry, offended ke? Ha, NOW you know I have feelings, just like you.

See. I told you I am cynical.

Anyway, I'm in Singapore right now. We left around 1am last night, and okay I admit, I cried. My parents sent my sister and I to the bus station, and then they stayed for a bit while we were waiting for our bus to arrive. I guess the waterworks came because my mother, my dear protective mother, made sure that we got on the bus before they left. While most teenagers think of their "overprotective" parents as annoying, I thought my mother's concern was very sweet. I guess the thought of me going away from home for two weeks just made me realize how much I love my parents, especially my mother. It's been quite a while since I've slept anywhere else but home, so I guess the feeling of being away from home just got to me.

Oh, I love my home. I miss home. This homesickness is chewing off my butt.

I miss my parents. And my other two sisters and not to forget my protective shield of a brother. Haha. Yeah I miss them. Period. I can't wait for them to come to Singapore next week! Yay!



Sunday, December 13
9:43 PM

This is it. I'll be going to Singapore with my sister by bus, and our bus will be leaving at 12.30AM later.

I'm pretty excited to be a Singaporean (konon) for a couple of weeks. Haha. As if. I'm excited, yes, but there's a teeny tiny bit of me that feels very anxious and paranoid. I know I shouldn't worry but my paranoia sometimes gets the best of me. With that being said, I'm worried about certain "complications" throughout the journey. If you're smart, you know what I mean.

I shall tell myself that the journey will be going smoothly. Sometimes I get paranoid too much that I start to get butterflies in my tummy and my heart will be at my throat. I don't know what I'm so nervous about...

I know I'll be gone from home for a couple of weeks, and during Christmas the rest of my family members will come and have a vacation in Singapore. The time will fly by without me even knowing it.

Gosh, I don't know why I'm tearing up right now. I'm going to miss my parents, and Kak Intan and Kakcik. And I'm going to miss home, too. I just hope the homesickness won't last for long. I can't stand being homesick! Well, nobody does, right?

And the worst part is? My brother's coming home TOMORROW, and he's bringing his girlfriend along, hehe, and I'll be in Singapore with my sister. He's just staying here for a couple of nights, and then he'll fly back to Miri along with his girlfriend. I miss my brother. And his girlfriend, too. Haha. Anyway, as a token of them, I'm bringing my gingerbread man, Pedro, along with me to Singapore. They gave that fat little thing to me for my fourteenth birthday last year, and it was the most adorable thing I got! :D

So, anyway, yeah I'm excited to go to Singapore! I'm looking forward to the things I'll do! Hehe. The downside is that I'm definitely going to miss home. Just a couple of weeks, not long right? In two weeks' time I'll be at home again! Haha, really, two weeks doesn't sound that long.

Do pray that I'll have a safe journey. Amin!



Friday, December 11
5:00 PM

I miss the rain. Sigh.

It's a very warm day today. But luckily it's not as hot as the days in May, June, and July before this. God, those days were so hot and there were barely any clouds up in the blue sky! Anyway, yeah, it's a very warm day today, and I don't know why but I just love seeing thick white clouds dominating the sky. Haha.

I'm so tired. This afternoon I worked out a little bit, did some push-ups -- the men's style, okay -- and lifted some dumbbells. I can see some changes in my arms. They're going to be toned in no time. Ahaaaa. I haven't had any proper meal today, yet. I ate scrambled eggs in the morning, with orange juice, and nothing for lunch. And about an hour ago I fried some nuggets and ate them. Surprisingly I was never hungry today. Hmm. I wonder what's for dinner. I hope we're going to Papa John's for pizza. Woohoo!

I did the laundry again today. I guess I *like* doing the laundry, but I just hate the part where I have to hang them up on the clothesline to dry them. I don't mind much about stuffing the dirty clothes into the washing-machine and folding them neatly in the end, but I just hate hanging them to dry! It's so hot outside that I can feel the heat in my clothes, and trust me, it's like an oven in here!

I sprayed water on my face a few times while hanging the freshly washed clothes, just to keep myself cool...not to mention to keep my temper cool. One of the hangers kept falling off the rails where I hang the clothes to dry that at one point I swore, and had a jolt when I found Kak Intan at the door to the backyard, snapping a picture of me drying the clothes. She took a picture of me while I was hanging the clothes to dry!!! Come on, it's not my first time doing the laundry. Haha.

I was planning to sweep and mop the floor of the house today. But then my laziness took over and in the end I had breakfast on the couch, watching E!'s special Jennifer Aniston. Oh well.



Monday, December 7
5:08 PM

I baked again today. And this time, it's chocolate chip cookies ;)

God, chocolate chip cookies are like the easiest thing to bake.

Anyway, I had cookie dough for breakfast. Yes, cookie dough. As soon as I woke up from bed I straight away went to make the cookies. Took me about two hours, I think. Since the oven we have that is small, and the old oven attached to the stove just wouldn't work -- which ended up sending the fuse box of the house into a big ball of flames the last time we used it, which was three years ago -- it took one whole hour to finish off the dough. God, we need a bigger oven.

The cookies turn out great! It always does, hehe ;)

My first actual meal was at 4.15pm. I ate my favourite laksa that originated from Kuala Kangsar, and then some fries. That was my first meal of the day, despite the bits of cookie dough I popped secretly into my mouth earlier this morning, heh heh. Baking is tiring, let me tell you that. I felt as breathless as working out after I was done with those cookies!

Well.

I'm bored again.



12:04 AM

I was browsing through all the photos that I've kept as mementoes in my mother's laptop...

From going to the zoo and then going to the plain land in Putrajaya, and then moving on to my sister's engagement preparations, and then the lovely day spent at FRIM.

Sigh. Watching a slideshow of the recorded past is so...nostalgic.

I miss you, Sister Arlia!



Sunday, December 6
4:31 PM

I feel this bubbling sensation deep down in my chest, like as if something is trying to claw its way out. I can feel it, the lump, in my throat, as my head starts to theoretically produce steam.

Theoretically.

And then I feel my feet and hands shaking, too. My nostrils flare.

Ah, yes, the sensation of the outraged wrath.

I thought you were some G.I. Joe wannabe. Pfft yeah right. Your fitness level probably starts at zero. You've got like enough doughnuts around your belly to feed fifty. But then I sensed the Jerkingtitis, or Jerkinfluenza, or Jerkonomia. A disease mainly, commonly, found in gay bastards :)

And then I saw...I thought......

God damn you.



Saturday, December 5
5:13 PM

I'm a pretty good baker when it comes to baking cupcakes and brownies and chocolate cakes.

I tried my baking skills on a strawberry galette this afternoon, and I sucked, so pitifully sucked. The pastry shell I made wasn't so bad, just that it was so lembik because I accidentally put too much butter in the frikkin' dough mixture without me even realizing it. And alas, the outcome was a too soft pastry shell.

The filling was pretty good though. I wouldn't stop eating the strawberries! Hehe.

Anyway, half of the whole galette fell apart while I was transferring the pastry from the baking tray onto a plate. Half of it got stuck at the 1-inch-high border of the baking tray, and the other half fell onto the plate. In the end just a fraction of the whole galette was left intact, and the other fraction was just a mess. It was such a terrible sight that I just felt like crying. Haha. But in the end it tastes pretty good though.

Apparently, if you're good at baking cakes, doesn't mean that you're good at making pastries -.-"

I finally got to cut my hair yesterday. I think I've found my own hair salon. It's just a few short roads away from my home, and the building is actually a former house. I really love that salon, although it's a bit pricey but the service is great! It was my second time when I went there yesterday, but it was my first haircut at that salon. I, well, my father (actually) paid a good sum of 46 bucks for a haircut and also a wash. I loved the smell of the shampoo that they used, and the serum that smelled like men's perfume. And, oh, did I mention that they provide a free cup of tea for their guests? Yep. They do. And the haircut I got is just amazing! The hairstylist really knew what to do with my hair as he was considering what type of hair I have.

I thought that the 46 bucks was worth it.

I love Chezz Technique! :)



Thursday, December 3
7:52 PM

You know what, I'm sick of my hair. It's heavy and a wee bit coarse and hard to manage, not to mention super thick! I just wanna cut it all off. I don't care about my long tresses anymore because I can't manage to take care of it.

I don't know why but suddenly it's hard for me to take care of my long hair. First of all, I have to shampoo my frikkin' hair twice in one shower and I have no doubts that I won't be changing my Elseve shampoo, which costs fifteen bucks for a bottle of 250ml which can last me for four weeks, or five, with my long hair. Since I'm using a lot of shampoo to wash my hair in one go, about three to four times a week, because I'm such a clean freak, I'll be splurging on a lot of money to buy my favourite shampoo. I don't wanna splurge 15 bucks each month for shampoo! I'm not even earning money!

Second, with hair as long and thick and out of control as mine, it takes two barbers to do my hair. Yes, two, at the same time. The last time I went to the hair salon for a wash, which was only a few weeks ago, it took two barbers to dry and style my hair. Honestly, I thought that was just embarrassing. My long hair takes TWO frikkin' hours to dry completely! That's enough time for me to go to KLIA and back!

Third, oh my God, do you have any idea how my thick hair harms people? It literally does! Each of my hair strands are thicker than normal, and since I'm on the raging hormones my hair is a bit coarse than before. Just a bit. But still. You have no idea what my hair does to other people's faces. Just a little swish! and my hair will surely hit someone's face, not to mention poke their eyeballs!

I just want to cut my hair. I want it mid-length, just a few inches below my shoulders. I'm sick of having to shampoo my head twice in one go, of having to wait two whole hours for it to dry completely, of having to get my fingers stuck midway when I run my fingers through it. I don't brush my hair, because then I'd look like a weird hair ball.

Honestly, I don't care what people are gonna say or think or how they're going to react to my decision to chop my long tresses off. I don't care what they're going to think once they see my new haircut. It's just hair. It'll grow back. It's my hair, after all.

I just got back from renewing my passport at Damansara. My God, I didn't know that the place was a place where annoying kids can run and scream around and get on people's nerves. I had to wait three hours for the whole thing to be done, the place was crowded and the air was humid, there were KIDS running and screaming around which literally gave me a headache. I swear to god when I have kids, I'm gonna make them shut the hell up by giving them my glare once they start screaming. I'm so tired, and my mood is constantly rocking the boat these days.

Speaking of which, since my mood swings are pretty drastic these days, I tend to get cynical, more sarcastic than ever, and just plain mean-spirited. Raging hormones, blame it on the hormones! I get annoyed too easily for me to snap and give the annoyers my glare of hell. I don't know what's wrong with me these days. I literally frown all day long and mind my own business, unlike some people. You're not even family, so go bury your nose into someone else's butt. If you're smart, you won't try to annoy me for the rest of the week because it's the time of the month where I feel the blues and the cynicism. You know what I mean.

I'm going to cut my hair tomorrow. I just can't wait to get the heavy chunk of hair off. You might think thick hair is actually nice, but if it's a little too thick and just a wee bit coarse, it's a living hell. I'm not exaggerating here.



Wednesday, December 2
3:05 PM

Am I five years old? Or am I fifteen?

Or am I really five years old with some kind of weird and fast growth spurt that has made my soul inhabit the body of a fifteen-year-old girl?

Or am I fifteen with the mentality of a five-year-old? Pfft, as if.

Self preservation is not a problem for me, thank you very much.



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