Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)


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Monday, March 30
5:02 PM

The weekend had been hectic. I had never been that busy for a whole weekend in my entire life. Seriously.

On Friday evening, I went out with my sister and a few of her friends for curtain-hunting. We were literally having a jogathon at the mall as we rummaged through every store that had the possibilty of selling curtains. And when I got home at night, the house was already full with relatives and friends who came to help with Kak Intan's engagement the next day. The scene was indescribable. Everyone had something to do and were very busy, including myself.

On Saturday morning, we did the final set up of everything. Us girls, we had our hairs done and a friend of Kak Lea's was nice enough to apply makeup to our faces. I got the natural look, with only a thin layer of purple eyeshadow, a thin coating of foundation and a bit of a blush. I don't really look good with makeup, I mean, I like how my face looks so natural. 

Kak Intan's engagement day went well. Lots of pictures were being taken, nearly more than a thousand (if you add up all the four photographers in the house).

Yesterday, I went to FRIM with my officially engaged sister and my soon-to-be brother in law, and also my other sister, Kak Lea. We went early in the morning for breakfast. This family day was organized by a spa product company called Tanamera, a really good brand. They served really good nasi lemak, and sirap bandung and teh tarik and curry puffs. We got a good view of the woods just below a really small hill.

Each of us entered at least one game organized by Tanamera. I entered the Identify the Massage Oils and the Find the Sweets in the Flour games. Both games required pairs. The first one, which I had to identify some massage oils, were pretty easy, but sadly we didn't win. The second game, oh man, it was messy! We had to dunk our face in a big plate of a mountain of flour, until we find the sweets hidden in the flour in two minutes. The flour got into my hair, my face, my mouth, my nose, my shirt, my jeans. It was messy, alright. I literally looked like a Chinese ghost, heh heh. Unfortunately, my team didn't win. Aww. 

Last night, there was a barbecue being held at the backyard. It's like a tribute to those who've made my sister's engagement a successful event. Abg Jo came with his troupe, too. Baby Jazeel and Jamie were looking so adorable! We nicknamed Jazeel as Jay-Z, ha ha. He's a handsome boy, I tell you. I also received a wet kiss on the cheek from Jazeel. Man, when they were preparing to go home, he was so hyperactive, running here and there and jumping around like a monkey. Still, he looked adorable!

As for today, I had no intention whatsoever to show up at school. But I still had to go. When I woke up this morning, I was feeling very dizzy and sleepy and basically just tired. The barbecue smoke from last night were still lingering in my brain, making me drowsy. And when I got to school, I was feeling very cranky. I was sleepy, and tired, and dizzy. My eyelids felt so heavy until I was so sure that I'd fall asleep right away if I tried to close my eyes. All the way until school ended, the only thing I could feel was sleepiness.

Yeah, obviously, I haven't been getting sufficient sleep. I hope I can finish my homework by tonight. I really hate to procrastinate. The more I wait, the more stressed up I'm going to be.

Despite all the energy I had used, I still enjoyed the weekend. It was a memorable weekend, that's for sure. 



Thursday, March 26
10:39 PM

Wow, I had a very long day today. Long and tiring. . .

For the second time of the week, I overslept today. I don't know how in the earth I could've overslept until 6.20 in the morning, when actually I was supposed to be waking up at six -- all thanks to Kakcik for waking me up. I think that this week, I didn't get enough sleep as the days roll by. I've been sleeping about five hours max nowadays. I didn't take naps, because the time wouldn't let me. So by the time the clock reaches eight o'clock, my eyes would feel very heavy and tired.

A couple of my friends and I had to do a presentation during Agama today. Overall I think we did quite a good job; we wrote short notes on some mahjong papers, we explained, answered the questions that were asked by our classmates. . . At first, the presentation was going smoothly. It was fun, actually. Lots of humour. But. . .as it was five minutes before the bell rang for us to go home, that's when our teacher ruined our mood.

While my presenters and I were standing in front, all of a sudden our teacher got all cranky. She was sitting at the back of the class, only seeing the back of everyone's heads. But she could see my face, as I was standing in front facing her. That means, I couldn't roll my eyes, etc etc.

She said that we weren't serious. That us presenters were frequently joking and laughing while presenting. That the students in class were asking nonsense questions. That we're all immature. That we're the worst people in CBN. As if!

I. . . I had on my best pokerface when she got all cranky like that. Seriously, when a teacher starts to condemn my class, that's when I start to lose respect. I listened tentatively as she was yapping about how we're all so immature, like five year olds instead of fifteen, blah blah blah. I could feel something growing underneath my chest, bubbling up to my throat. Anger. That's what it was. It got stuck at my throat, and luckily I had stopped myself from screaming, "SHUT UP!" The anger was bubbling inside me so rapidly that I couldn't contain it anymore. It hit the walls of my ribs, faster and harder. All of a sudden, I felt tears springing into my eyes. What the hell? I was so mad that I nearly cried.

When the teacher just left the class without saying anything, just like that, all of us were, no doubt, fed up. Fed up with what, I do not know. But what I know is, I'm fed up with the teacher. This isn't the first time she's condemning our class.

I just can't stand it when people think that our class is. . .you know. . .stupid. We're not stupid, that's for sure. Of course, we make a lot of nonsense and crap and blah blah blah, but stupid isn't one of our characteristics. I can tell, almost every teacher that teaches our class hates us. When one person does something wrong, then the whole class gets the blame, even the ones who are innocent!!!!!!!! In times like these, when teachers condemn our class, that's when I put on my best deadpan pokerface. We, as students, have our own respect too, you know.

When school ended, it was time for my extra curricular activities. I attended the photography club meeting that was held in front of the canteen, and we were assigned to snap candid pictures of the teachers in the school. It was hilarious! A few of my friends and I teamed up, not all of them had a camera with them at that moment. So, one had to stall a teacher while another had to go and snap a candid picture of the teacher. It was hi-hi-hilarious!

After the photography meeting, I went to Ikea with Kak Lea and a couple of her friends. She wanted to buy some materials for my sister's engagement on Saturday, so I decided to tag along since she was the one who invited me. We had lunch at the Ikea restaurant, which I've never been to. I tried and tasted some of the meatballs, a dessert called Delicato, the Daim cake, the chicken ham sandwich. Oh, it was a good lunch, alright. The meatballs are dead on awesome!

From there, we went to Ikano. While my sister went to the Cold Storage with one of her friends, I followed her other friend to the Popular bookstore, where I'd prefer to be rather than any place else. As I entered the bookstore, I was in absolute heaven! The store, so huge! I was surprised to find myself lingering at the adult fiction section, instead of the teen romance section which I used to go to. Right now, I'm currently interested in reading about the adult life. Like how to deal with family problems, how they cope with their lives and their jobs, how adults go through their relationships with friends, etc. It's interesting, you know.

I had brought along my schoolbag with me when I went to Ikea and Ikano. I was also wearing a black CBN polo shirt and track bottoms with school shoes. As I was scanning the bookshelves in the adult fiction section, I put my backpack on the floor. I felt like a college student, going to a really cool library with a huge variety of books to be read. But of course, I'm still not done with PMR yet, heh heh.

In the end, I went home with two new novels, courtesy of Kak Lea. There was this promotion; buy one and get the other one half price. So I ended up picking two books; Marshmallows for Breakfast and The Memory Keeper's Daughter. Wow, this is like the second and third books for the month! And I'm still not done reading The Pact! I think I have OCD :S

After that, my sister dropped off Kak Im, one of my sister's friends, at her house. She let us in and treated me to a glass of milk and told me to help myself with the chocolates in the glass box on the coffee table. In the end, I grabbed two packets of KitKats and a few squares of the Cadbury blueberry chocolate. Heh heh.

We reached home by 9pm. Ah, it feels so good to be home after a long day filled with adventures! My neck was stiff from carrying my backpack, and a warm shower really did help soothe the ache. I love the feeling after a shower. My hair would smell splendid, like lavender, and my skin would have the sweet scent of chocolate, or cherry blossoms. Trust me, when I smell like chocolate, I literally feel like eating myself alive. Muahaha!

I'm so tired. Luckily I wasn't assigned with too many homework today.



Monday, March 23
6:07 PM

I couldn't sleep last night. Not at all.

I was in bed by two in the morning, after I was satisfied reading my novel. The lights were on so that it would be easy for me to wake up later in the morning.

I tossed and turned, I rolled from here and there. It was a very hot night, and I occasionally covered myself with my duvet, and then kicking it back off again. I even covered my face with a pillow, so that my eyes wouldn't be exposed to the lights.

I tried every method to fall asleep, but nothing seemed to work. I even counted my breathing as "sheep". *Inhale, exhale*, one sheep. *Inhale, exhale*, two sheep. It didn't work. So I just lay there on my bed, with the lights on, until the clock struck 4.30am.

I've had enough. I needed to sleep, in spite of the hard day's work of cleaning yesterday. In the end, I turned on my sister's iPod and plugged the earphones into my ear canals. I put on the most relaxing tune I could find; some classical piano piece. It was a beautiful one, so I played it on loop, over and over again.

By the time it was 5am, I found myself half-asleep. I mean, I was already asleep, but I could still regain my consciousness. By 5.30am, the alarm on my phone buzzed off. Since I couldn't sleep any longer, might as well I just wake up, right? So I did wake up, went to the bathroom. Brushed my teeth, splashed cold water on my face to fully wake me up.

My eyes felt heavy and puffy. I only managed to get only one hour of sleep for the night, and I felt very tired. By six o'clock, I took my shower. Yes, the shower did wake me up, but only temporary. When I went downstairs to the kitchen, I was so sleepy until I nearly had an accident. Okay, make that a few accidents.

One; I was fixing the wall-fan [the ones with those bars in front of the blades] so that the wind would go to me. I realised that I had tucked my finger into the bars, just a few centimeters away from the blades. Before I even knew it, I nearly switched on the fan with my finger still in the bars. But I was awake enough to realise my mistake, so I took my finger out before it could get hurt.

Two; while I was making a mug of instant coffee for myself -- yeah, I can't go on with the day without coffee! -- I was sooooo sleepy that I nearly let the coffee powder land on the counter instead of in the mug.

My head felt very heavy and dizzy. I was very tired, so tired that I didn't even have the energy to chew. I had two crackers and a mug of coffee in the morning, enough to keep me going. I heard that whenever my sister felt like she was going to faint, she would consume some vitamin C supplement called Redaxon. I decided to pack one of the tablets to school, just in case.

I ended up eating the Redaxon tablet in the car. I knew it was supposed to be dissolved in a glass of water, but I didn't have that at the moment and I was really desperate for energy. So I popped the tablet into my mouth, and it felt awful! The thing immediately dissolved with my saliva, and I could feel the particles mixing with my saliva. The taste was bitter, very powdery. When I finally got that thing down my throat, I was relieved! It was like drinking a soft-drink, when you burp you can feel your throat stinging, and when the gas gets through your nose you can feel a sharp pain there. Well, EATING the Redaxon felt like that. Stupid move. Never ever do that.

During the school assembly this morning, I was very cranky. I felt like Sweeney Todd, literally. I was almost frowning all the way! Not only that, I kind of looked like Sweeney Todd; pale skin, dark circles underneath the eyes, a frown slapped across the face. That was me, during the assembly, just counting down the hours to get home.

I still can't believe that I only slept an hour last night. And the thing is, right now, I don't feel sleepy at all!

I attended this Genggam A program today. I will attend the program from now on, Mondays only. It's about Sejarah, the worst subject I'm at. Studying and reading history all by myself is like hell. I can never get all the facts, they don't seem to stick on the walls of my brain. And even when I do remember the facts, it would go away by the next day. Long story short; history is boring. I can only depend on luck whenever I'm sitting for a history test. Well, sure, I do study for that subject! But sometimes, my studying didn't mean anything at all.

The tutor from Kasturi was really cool. She made history sound so interesting and funny, cracking up jokes now and then. She was actually telling us like a bedtime story, you know? She made the story and the characters feel alive, like it's right there in front of you, literally. She's a cool tutor, alright. Did I mention that she also uses English as well? How cool is that?



Sunday, March 22
11:09 PM

Wow, I am exhausted! And I mean really exhausted. 

Today was the spring cleaning day. Everyone in the house were busy cleaning everything. From the bedrooms to the every corner of the house. It was very tiring, and six pairs of hands were not enough, trust me. 

My Mama brought home two of her cleaners from her workplace to help us out. They were very nice and very polite, instead of rude and snobbish. To top it all off, their tremendous work complemented their attitudes. The house is literally sparkling! They cleaned up every corner of the house, including the ceilings! They were so thorough when they did their jobs here. It was like, wow! In fact, they even knocked on our bedroom doors and asked if there was anything to clean! How nice is that? But of course, I politely said that everything in my room is clean and that they didn't have to produce more energy to clean my room. 

I woke up pretty late, around 11am. I was very tired, but I don't know why. Since I spotted my sister cleaning out her room, I decided to join in as well. When I went downstairs to grab a bite, you have no idea how chaotic the ground floor of the house was. The two polite workers were cleaning, joined by my eldest sister the bride-soon-to-be, my mother, and my father. Furnitures were pushed aside, carpets were rolled and stacked on one corner, and everything looked bare. It was one hell of a spring cleaning all right. 

In spite of my sister's engagement on this coming Saturday, the house will be packed with relatives and friends. Approximately 100 people are going to attend the engagement. Since the house will be so fully packed, we needed to make space for the people by pushing aside the furnitures. Most were carried to my parents' bedroom, my sister's bedroom, the study room, and the sewing room. So now, the two spaces in front of the house are now completely bare, with the exception of some carpets and vases and shelves. 

I didn't think that I would even clean my room today. I mean, I already "mopped" the floor with my stupid-but-effective method of using only a wet cloth and my own two feet; don't ask how I did it but it worked! But, of course, I ended up cleaning my room. I decided to throw away the unneccessary things in my room, like papers and books and etc etc etc. I dusted off every surface in my room. My floor was mopped a few times, at least five times. 

Cleaning my room is easy, actually. My room and my sister's room is separated by a small-but-big-enough bathroom. From my bathroom door, I can just reach the sink which can be a make-shift bucket. So, from there, I can do my task well without having to drag a bucket upstairs, fill it up with water, use it, and then replace the dirty water. The sink in the bathroom is pretty useful. 

I even switched my desk with my sister's, because I needed the drawers and the extra space. My sister's (which is now mine) desk has four drawers, one big one and three small ones. I needed a place to put all my stationaries etc etc etc, because before that, I didn't have any place else to put all my junk. So I switched my desk with my sister. She put my former desk out in the hallway, not in her room. I got a lot of benefits from this desk-switching thing. First of all, it goes well with every other furniture in my room. Second, the desk is large enough for me to display my all my novels there. And third, it is just the right height for me. 

Now, my room is spick and span! It is very, very clean and dust free. I even used some of my shampoo as a detergent for the floor tiles, and now my room smells like roses when I enter it. Really nice!

From morning until night, the house was busy buzzing with people going to and fro. Each corner of the house is cleaned, the floor is dust-free, every surface is wiped with a damp cloth, etc etc etc. I really can't wait for my sister's engagement next week. I'm sure the house will be even busier than today on the real day. And hey, this is just the engagement, wait till the pernikahan and the persandingan. Woo, more chaos!

My homework is nearly done, finally! Just a few more sentences, a fix here, some tweaking there, and I'm done!

I can't believe tomorrow is school. I just hope I won't end up snoozing in class, in spite of the spring-cleaning today. 

Till then, cheers!

**Sorry, no pictures yet. I'll upload them tomorrow if I have the time. Ngeeee



Friday, March 20
1:11 PM

Honestly, school holidays suck! They suck suck suck suck suck like . . . suckkkssss!

It's literally killing me mentally. I've been stuck at home the whole week, with nothing better to do than online, reading books, and just a bit of homework. Dang, I feel like I have no life. Seriously. I'm doing the same thing over and over again everyday, it's like as if time didn't even pass by.

I honestly need to get out of the house! All thanks to PMR, I'm not allowed to go out with friends, but just until PMR is over. Which I'm begging to be soon! 

Staying at home is like . . . staying at a psycho ward. Not that I know how a psycho ward is like, but it just feels like it. Oh, no! It feels like jail. Hahaha! You don't have anything better to do, you're not allowed to go outside, and you're pretty much entertaining yourself. Well, it's the same here. Except that I get access to the laptop and the internet and books and blah dee blah blahhhh. 

I hope my sister returns home before she goes to her fitness studio later. I'm really hoping she would, so that I can tag along with her. I need to be around people! I need to get out of the house! This . . . boredom, it's killing me! I have never felt so bored in my entire life. The whole week just passed by and I didn't even know it, technically. I mean, I'm doing the same things over and over again! 

Oh, boredom can kill alright, if not tormenting the human mind. I feel like a psycho in jail, seriously. Not that I'm a psycho, I'm completely sane. I just feel like a psycho, in jail, with nothing better to do. 

It's a wonder how I didn't rot . . . hmm . . .



Thursday, March 19
2:43 PM

I just laughed. For no reason.

Well, yeah, there was a reason . . . in my head.

Oh God, I'm turning crazaaayy!

I just remembered some funny moments I had with my friends at school. Like this one time, it was last week, my two classmates and I were in the toilet. One of my friends were in one of the cubicles while the other one waited outside with me. The one who waited outside with me then took out the rubber band in her hair and let her hair down. I followed suit.

Since many people say I can qualify as a ghost/vampire, my friend and I got cheeky. The toilet was a bit spooked, since not many people go there. So my friend gave me this whacked idea to go and stand in front of my other friend's cubicle, with my hair down. Okay okay, my skin was already pale, my hair was dark and long, and my baju kurung was obviously white. So I went and stood in front of the cubicle that my other friend occupied, grinning evilly.

Then, it happened. Noooo, no ghost appeared, unless you consider me as a ghost. The cubicle door was right in front of my face, which meant that when my friend got out from the cubicle, the first thing she'd see was . . . me. Long-haired, pale-faced me. It was a prank, obviously, and she totally fell for it. She really believed that I was a ghost. Thankfully, she didn't scream like a mad buffoon that would attract attention. She was just shocked for a second before realising that it was me. We laughed all the way back to class.

Would it be considered crazy if I suddenly laugh all by myself, all thanks to remembering funny events? Uuuhh . . .



Wednesday, March 18
1:39 AM

I've updated my Flickr! Go and check it out! ;)

Oh, it's 1:40am and I'm still awake. Yeeeehaaaaaaaa! Wuzz' crackalackin' yo?



Monday, March 16
5:28 PM

I can't believe that Saturday next week will be my sister's engagement day! Eep! I'm so excited! Too bad it's going to be in the afternoon, though. It's going to be held here, at home, in the afternoon. I just hope it won't be a hot day. Because if it is going to be a hot day, then say hello to the heat with open arms! You know what this means;

hot air + humidity + sweaty people with sweaty armpits = one big house of stinkbombs!

Nah, just kidding. It will be hot, unless the sky is going to be clouded with yep, you guessed it, clouds. I really can't wait! My other sister's hairstylist is going to come over in the morning and he's going to do our hair. I'm not requesting much. I just want a nice 'do for the day. Maybe some waves would be dead on awesome.

I've been surfing Flickr on pictures of FRIM, some forest somewhere in Selangor. Sometime ago, I told my sister about my interest in photography with nature. I sent her some mystical pictures of some forests around the world via email. Then, she sent it to her photographer friend. Before I even knew it, my sister told me that we're going to FRIM sometime soon to do another session of photography.

I've been itching to go to this FRIM place. I really love tall trees. Or in other words, I just love looking at forests. They're so peaceful, you know? It's like being at a place where you can see not a single medium of pollution, because that would be a flaw. Did you ever notice that it's better to breathe when you're in the forest? Well, yeah, it's true. And, (courtesy of my science teacher), a human being needs at least four green plants/trees to be conveyed with the sufficient amount of oxygen. Cool eh?

I can't wait! Eeeeeeeeep!



Saturday, March 14
1:35 PM

Yesterday's 110th "Birthday celebration" was a dump. It was kind of boring, in my own opinion. I mean, it wasn't like a birthday celebration at all. It was just a few speeches from a few important people, and some performances. Booooring.

When I was on the move, taking pictures of the event for the school's photography club, the SLR camera that I was using died halfway throughout the event. I could've sworn that the day before, there were three bars of battery. Or in other words, the battery was full. But as I checked it again yesterday morning, there was only one bar of battery left. That's not logical, right? I mean, it's still explainable if there were only two bars of battery left. 

I was disappointed. The camera died just as the choir girls were about to perform. I didn't get many shots, but most of them were pretty darn good. I mean, I still got good shots even though there weren't many. 

I started doing my task as one of the designers in the school ed board two nights ago. I have never felt so committed in a school society before. As for yesterday, I was clearly eager to get home from school as quick as possible. I was very much looking forward to continue my task. I was so eager. 

Being a part of the editorial board is like a dream come true. Alright, maybe not a "dream come true", that's already over the line. What I mean is, I've been yearning to get into the ed board since two years ago, when my cover design was selected for the school magazine. It's because of my cover design two years ago that made me a part of this ed board, and I am sooooo thankful for that. 

You know, for a girl who doesn't really care about extra curricular activities like me, you'd have a hard time believing that I actually joined four societies instead of just three. Well, two of them I know I'm not going to attend the meeting, because I'm not really interested in them. As for the other two, I know I'm going to attend the meetings always. Photography club and the Editorial Board. Photography and designing are in my blood!

I guess I've inherited my sister's interest in arts and photography. She's a designer, and a good one, too. I think I started developing my interest in arts [photography can be considered arts, right?] since I was just a wee kid. About nine or ten years old. At that time, my sister took the arts course, I think. Sometimes she'd return home with some projects that needed to be done, and sometimes I'd help her paint or draw or whatever with her projects. Oh yeah, those were the days. . .

You know when people usually say that left-handed people are creative because they think with the right-side of their brains, and it is otherwise for right-handed people? Well, yeah, technically it's true, like as if you don't know that. And if you're ambidextrous, well, wow, just say you're one gifted person.

My sister and I are both righties. But we both love arts and we love photography, and we're both very good at it. But we're righties, not left-handed. So you see, not only left-handed people can think of colours the way we do. 

I am so proud of my achievements. Even I can't believe it myself. Alhamdulillah :)



Thursday, March 12
4:42 PM

I cooked spaghetti! Weehoo! I managed to cook spaghetti for dinner last night. It was the first time I cooked dinner for the family. Well, yeah, my dad bought a jar of ready-made spaghetti sauce. But hey, I literally fixed that sauce. *winks*

I had to stay back until 2:30pm today. I had to attend my extra curricular activities because, well, it's the first meeting. And plus, it was a club that I was really intending to enjoy. Photography. Surprised? Don't be. Photography is in my blood!

There were only a few groups of people that attended the meeting. The people filled up at most half of the class. The society members still hadn't chosen a representative for the third formers. So they suggested the voting system. Surprisingly, my name was written down as a nominee. And in conjunction to that, I am allotted as the representative for the third formers. Great.

There's going to be a school event tomorrow. We're going to celebrate the 110th year anniversary of our school, the ancient CBN. Obviously, the students who take pictures of school events are usually from the photography club. Us third formers were given the opportunity to select a few representatives to take pictures of the event tomorrow. And, well, yeah, I decided to take the chance and just go for it. Photography is something that I really enjoy. Something I'm so passionate about.

A couple of days ago, I was asked by a senior to join the editorial board for the school magazine. I was intending to join that club before we were signing up for our societies, but I couldn't find the counter. So I jotted down my name under the Photography club. Today, I just received my first task on the ed board. As I had expected it, I'm under the design department.

I see a great deal in my extra curricular activities. I never bothered about it for the past two years. But as for this year, I'm new in the morning session. The morning session has even more interesting societies compared to the afternoon session. And, well, I'm only attending the meetings that I'm deeply passionate about. Which means that I'm required to stay back twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Did I tell you that I'm simply excited? Yeah, I am.



Wednesday, March 11
2:08 PM

I had a great time at school today. We had an ustaz to come to school to give a speech on our religion. The rights and wrongs, what we should do as human beings, and blah dee blah blah blah. It wasn't boring, really. Not that I expected it to be boring, I really didn't. Speeches on our religion is actually kind of interesting.

The VIP showed us a really sad video from a TV program. It was about a son who was very cruel and rude to his father because the father had done something not according to what the son wanted. It was during lunch time in that video; the son told the father to eat. He scolded his father like how a father would scold a child. It was like as if the son was the father and the father was the son. In other words, the video was devastatingly painful to watch. After the son was done shouting and scolding his father, the old man finally got up and went up to his bedroom. The father cried and that's when a flashback started to roll. The flashback; it was ages ago, the father was working and then the son crept up behind him and closed his eyes. They said something which I couldn't really hear, but after that they were playing around, the father tickled the son and blah dee blah blah.

I'm not really much of a dramatic person, but honestly, I nearly cried just watching that video. Well, I did, but not so badly. My classmate next to me was already red in the eyes and nose, and I heard a sniffle coming out from her. The video was obviously painful to watch. Tears started to well up in my eyes and before I knew it, I heard a sniffle coming out from my nose. No, no tears managed to escape through my eyelashes. But still, I cried a little. I blinked rapidly to get those freaking tears out of my eyes.

The video made me realise how I tend to get rude sometimes when I talk to my parents. I know it's bad, and I know I'm not supposed to be a bad child. But sometimes I just couldn't help it, mostly everything ticks me off. Not that my parents tick me off, they don't. And they're not supposed to. Even though I know that there are worse cases than mine, I'm still not supposed to be rude to the elderly.

We went back to our classes after the whole thing ended. As I was stuffing some books into my backpack, a few of my classmates that I usually hang out with made silly jokes which nearly sent me tumbling down on the floor due to the laugh that escaped through my mouth. They made a joke based on a tale that the VIP had told us a few hours ago, but it wasn't a rude one. It was just a silly, funny joke. To be honest, I haven't laughed like that for quite sometime. Well, I do laugh everyday, just not that hard like just now. I laughed until my cheeks were sore and my stomach was aching. It was simply hilarious. And the most annoying part was that whenever I laugh, my friends would make a comment on the vein that embossed on my forehead and the water in my eyes. When I laugh, I cry, sort of. And when I laugh, this annoying vein in my forehead would emerge from beneath my skin, looking like thunder. As for the tears in my eyes? Let's just say that it's natural for it to happen to me.

I still remember what happened during science class today. My teacher was talking about how important our kidneys are to us, how we need them to excrete toxics from our body. Somehow, she ended up talking about the skin. I can't recall how she even got to that topic, but man, it was hilarious. She said that people with darker skin are people with healthier skin, sort of. People with a fairer complexion tend to have less melanin in their body. Melanin; something that protects the skin from UV rays, according to my teacher. And people with darker skin tend to have more melanin in their body, which can protect them from the UV rays. Well, then I could feel every eye in the classroom on me. I could feel their eyes on the back of my neck. As for my classmates in front of me, they turned slowly to look at me, and then they giggled. The reason? My skin has a fairer complexion, right? Which means I don't have a lot of melanin in my body to protect me from the UV rays, right? UV rays, which can cause skin cancer, right? So you see, I'm more likely to be more vulnerable to those UV rays, and you know the rest.

Ha, Iman, nanti you kena skin cancer! Hahahaha
Pegi la jemur bawah matahari tuuuu.
Watch out, Iman!
Me : Uh-ooohhhhh

You people are meanies! Hahahahaha

Speaking of meanies; some freak did something that made me downright aggravated. It's been quite a while, actually, but I just realised it earlier today. Huh, I didn't know that I had a scar on my right cheek, which I don't. Yeesh!



Saturday, March 7
9:39 PM

My brother's coming home for a visit tomorrow! Weeeee!

And in addition to that, my family and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night to celebrate the 27th birthday of my brother the goofball. Oh, and I heard there's going to be some sort of "committee meeting" over dinner tomorrow concerning my eldest sister's wedding preparations. Eeeep!

Ah I can't wait lah!



12:11 PM

Currently listening to : Attitude - Fireflight

I'm outside at the backyard right now. Right this second. Why? Well, some worker dudes are putting tiles at the staircase of the house and they're occupying almost every segment of the house with their tools and equipment and what not. I usually check my emails and online at the dining hall, but that part of the house is occupied. So I'm stuck here at the backyard den. Not that I can complain, it's pretty nice out here. So windy and breezy and I'm inhaling oxygen directly from green leaves!

Since my room is upstairs and since the worker dudes are imprinting tiles on the staircase, I can't get to my room, yet. It's pretty nice out here, just until the hideous stench of turpentine fills up my lungs. The smell is dizzying and nauseating, I feel so drowsy.

In a couple of hours, I'll be at the airport to fetch my mother from Bandung. Eep! I'm so excited at what she has in store for me. Heh heh heh.

Aaargh pening pening!



Friday, March 6
8:30 PM

A memory. Also described as the act or fact of retaining and recalling impressions. I never knew that a happy memory could be so darn hurtful once you think about it.

A song. A certain smell. A voice. A sound. There are many ways to remind me of all the good times I had, which are conveniently stored in the deep core of my brain. It's just sad, isn't it? You try to relive the memories in your head, only to find them as a matter of hallucination or an illusion or just a motion picture in your mind. You tend to feel disappointed and sad that you can only rewind and replay the memories inside your own mind, sort of like your own little movie.

Over the past few days, I've been sitting all alone in my room just after I arrive home from school. Sometimes the weather would be nice, sometimes it would be hot, sometimes it would be cloudy and chilly. Other times, it would rain cats and dogs. On cloudy days, I would listen to the songs that I listened back in 2007. The vibe of the music would go perfectly well with the ambiance. On hot days, I would listen to the songs I listened last year, with a huge variety of famous and out-of-the-blue artists and bands.

Lately, I've found out that it utterly hurts to remember such a happy time of your life. In my life, there's like a music playlist for every certain period of time. Sometimes I would listen to certain songs at one time, without even realising that that time will actually be a memory I would keep in my head forever. So you see, we can only relive our good times and happy memories with only something that reminds us of that memory. Like a smell, or a song, or even the weather and surroundings around you. But it hurts, no doubt, to know that you won't be able to find such a good time later. It just does.

When I was listening to a playlist that reminded me of 2007, I realised the sharp pain in my heart, literally. It throbbed and ached, because I knew that the playlist reminded me during one of my good times and that I can't experience such a thing like that anymore. Sure, I'm bound to fill up my head with new memories later, but it's just not the same. Sometimes I just don't want to let go of the memories I had, because they're so precious that it's too hard to be forgotten.

* * *

I love Mathematics. Nerd-ish much? Oh well, there's plenty more where that came from! Honestly, I think being a Third Former is fun. I mean, the syllabus isn't that hard when you compare them to the first formers and the second formers. During Maths, we're supposed to exchange classes. We're supposed to go to our designated streams, levels one to four. I have no intention whatsoever, but I happen to be in level one. Shocker. I didn't really get high marks for maths last year.

I like my Maths teacher. She makes mathematics look so fun and hate-proof. I used to have a l0ve-hate relationship with mathematics. I would hate it when I wasn't able to solve an equation, and I would curse the question for being so mean and evil. I would love mathematics when I was able to solve an equation or a problem. Heh. That was before, now the "hate" part in the love-hate relationship I had with mathematics is gone!

I guess I don't mind being in the level one stream for mathematics. My teacher is a cool person, believe me. Unlike any other teachers I know, my maths teacher would show up in class with a smile plastered across her face. Then she'd start the lesson without making any of us feel so bored and lazy. I tend to find myself fully awake during mathematics, in spite of my teacher's loud and sharp voice. Since I always have the tendency to sit in front, it's sort of like a bonus but also a curse. When I sit in front of the class, I tend to pay more attention. But, on the contrary, my teacher would roam in front of the whiteboard and her strong loud voice would slap my eardrums, hard. But, despite all that, I still enjoy Mathematics. I had improved on my thinking skill, too. Thanks, Teach!



Wednesday, March 4
5:23 PM

*Currently listening to : Break the Line-Guano Apes

Only 24 more days until the day of my sister's engagement. I can't wait! Eeep! Oooh, I can't wait to wear fancy baju kurungs and get my hair done on the actual day!

I'm pretty much bored right now. I've been wanting to practise my photography skills with nature. I'm good with nature, yo. And did I mention how much I love nature? A lot.

Last week I signed up for this elocution contest which will be held during Language Week, whenever that is. It's something like public speaking. Well, I signed up because I wanted to. I've never tried elocution before and I would really like to add that to my must-experience-list this year. I've been crackalackin' my brain for an interesting topic for the elocution. But so far, I've found . . . none. I want to win this thing and get my name published in the school magazine. Heh heh.

Despite all my lust toward chocolates and candies, I've been trying to not burn a hole in my pocket. I've been trying to save money for . . . well, a lot of things. And so far, I've achieved 5% of what I've been targeting for. Why am I saving money, you ask? Well :

a) I plan to buy a few products from The Body Shop, since I was darn intrigued when I entered the store.
b) A new pair of Converse. Well, more like my first pair of Converse shoes -- don't worry, I won't be looking like a brainless rempit unless I wear the shoes with the right clothes :)
and
c) Some hair products from The Hair Shop in Pavilion.

Wow, that's a lot. I need to save at least three hundred bucks for all of that. Darn. Save two bucks a day and I can fulfill my wishes in just less than three months! Minus weekends, of course.

I finally got my Science paper today. When my teacher was handing out the papers, my heart was beating rapidly in my ribcage. My hands were cold, despite the cold temperature of the room, and I was literally bouncing up and down just waiting for my name to be called.

I honestly have to say that I was a tad disappointed at my results. I did do a jolly good job, I even scored an A. But I didn't get to reach the score I've been aiming for. Oh well, I can try again. At least I got an A *shrugs*

Lately I've realised that I've put on some weight. No, wait, before you say anything . . . I am NOT implying that I am "fat". Please. It's just that my cheeks have gone chubbier. There's a difference, aite. I've also been considering exercising. I feel like going back to my fit and healthy lifestyle like earlier last year, when I used to have jogs every week for the first six months. But this year, I'm sure no one could take me to the park or jog with me. Sad . . . *that treadmill could be useful now, KAK LEA, ngee* Since I'm not able to jog around the neighbourhood all by myself, I can only jog with an adult keeping an eye on me. And since all the adults in this house are busy twenty-four-seven, I can't go jogging. Nyeh. But, I've been wanting to get those toned abs and arms. So, I've been commanding myself to do at least fifty sit-ups and twenty push-ups a day. Hey, at least I'm exercising again! Wee!



Tuesday, March 3
11:33 PM

For the past few days, I've been freakishly intrigued by nature. Well, blame the novel I'm reading now.

I've been yearning to visit such places with different climates such as the deserts of hot Arizona, and the cold, cold forests of Forks in Washington -- yeah it's from Twilight, ngee. I mean, nothing amazes me more than the beauty of nature. They're all natural. Not man made, not artificial. Just . . . hundred percent nature.

I gotta admit, such eerie places like the woods and the forests have always been an intrigue to me. They caught my attention ever since a few years back, only because they are so astoundingly beautiful. I know, I know, they're just trees and what not but hey, they're beautiful. Breathtaking. [As far as I can remember, the last time I went to a forest in this country, it didn't really catch my breath].

What's so cool about a forest, you ask? Well, a lot of stuff, actually. I like, no, I love that ringing sound you get to hear whenever you're in the woods/forest, I love how the colour green is always in your sight wherever you go, I love the tall trees with the gargantuan barks, I love the smell of grass and nothing but nature. I love how it gets cold whenever you're surrounded with nothing but trees. I love how the sun rays pass through the leaves of the trees. The leaves, serving as a ceiling just below the boundless sky. I love how you can inhale cool fresh air right from the trees, with no smoke or pollutants to ruin everything. Okay, long story short, I love nature. That's it.

On the contrary, I've been intrigued by the deserts in Arizona because I've been reading a book that takes place in a desert. I was bored, so I Googled the place. Numerous results were displayed on the screen, so I clicked one by one. And I must say, when I looked at the pictures, it literally took my breath away. It's just a plain desert, with dusty cracked grounds and hot weather. But, there's something that really intrigued me that I can't really put my finger on. For example, the canyons. Ah, the rocky red canyons, which I believe used to be just a plain flat ground, and then it got compressed and folded into mountains and canyons. I think. [Geography does have its advantages].

I've always wanted to go to a desert. Not those sandy deserts you see on TV, like the ones in Arab, nooo. I am talking about the deserts somewhere in Arizona, a very hot place. The grounds are cracked and dusty and very dry, probably close to red in colour, with canyons and mountains naturally shaped from one point to another. It's . . . it's just peaceful. Even if it's a hot place, you don't see cars zooming by, you don't see artificial smoke rising from the distance, you don't feel any pollutants. But of course, you gotta be super conscious about the snakes and coyotes. Heh heh.

Same goes to the chilly forests. These two places, I would so much like to visit and take a lot of photographic pictures. If I'm lucky, if I get to visit these places, I'd make sure that I snap the best pictures ever. I'd make sure that my perspective is different than the others, unique in its own way. It would be a dream come true, seriously. Because, honestly, this is one project I've been yearning to work on for ages!



Sunday, March 1
1:52 PM

Honestly, that "incident" that happened two nights ago really changed me. It affected my emotional feelings, alright.

Yesterday, before I was waiting to do my prayers at dusk, I sat all alone in my room. I didn't do anything, I just sat there and stared into space while fumbling around with my Rubik's cube. Since my back was facing my window, I couldn't see what's going on back there. When all of a sudden I heard like as if the handle of my wardrobe hit the wood by itself, I started to feel scared. My ceiling fan wasn't on such a high power and the noise from my wardrobe was pretty loud. For a few seconds, yes, I was scared. But then, I started to get agitated. I chanted the first prayer I could think of. I chanted it over and over again, each time getting even more agitated.

Finally though, I was certain that that thing was gone. So I started to read my novel while waiting for dusk to come. My back was still facing the window, and then I heard something knock on my window. Not human knuckles tapping on the glass, but something like a very sharp, very hard object tapping on my window once. I immediately closed my book shut with a subtle thump. For crying out loud! This time, I got even more agitated. If that thing was there again, well, it'd be better if it went away because I was soooooo mad. I was outraged, just like as if when people do something bad to me. Again, I chanted the prayer over and over again until I felt good again. Of course, that night I slept in my sister's room instead of my room.

What happened two nights ago really changed me, emotionally. Whenever I feel like something is not right, or I'm not feeling quite like myself, I would become agitated, furious, and mad. Like I said, if that bloody bastard wants to live in this house, go ahead. Just don't disturb me at all! Seriously. It's so annoying to be disturbed by such a satan. First they disturb you by making you feel scared and emotionally weak, then they'll attack you, resulting you to be even more scared. But, on the other hand, if you're emotionally strong and stern, it will definitely go away. It has feelings, too. And it can also read your mind. It knows when you're scared and when you're not scared.

Think of this as absurd, but it really is true. I was being disturbed and I didn't like it at all. It's annoying and disturbing and just...eerie. But then again, this might just be a test from the Almighty God. He might want me to become stronger emotionally, because I believe that what He does is for my own good. Look at me now, I don't think I'm that afraid of that thing disturbing me anymore. I'll just chant a few prayers and boom bam, it'll be gone. It is afraid of God, you know.



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