iman nedhiera

Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)

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Friday, March 30

9:59 PM

I don't wear dresses because I find that most of them are too revealing. But this is one type of dress I wouldn't mind wearing on casual days. I like it because it's knee-length, has sleeves, and doesn't reveal the neckline too much. I feel uncomfortable showing too much skin. My parents wouldn't let me go out if I were to put on something that reveals my thighs and armpits anyway. I plan to search for dresses like this sometime this weekend. Or maybe some other weekend. It's high time I grow out of my daily t-shirt and jeans ensemble anyway...at least, that's what my sister says. Hahaha.

7:02 PM

So...it's been nearly a month since I've gotten my driver's permit and...my dad still hasn't allowed me to drive alone yet. HEH.

Can't blame him though. The only car we have for me now is a 13-year-old manual Satria. Manual. All that switching gears and stuff. So not easy. So my father's been giving me further lessons on how to drive a manual car. It's funny because half the things my dad taught me on driving weren't included in my driving school hahahaha. What. Is. So. Funny. About. That. I've learned that those driving schools you go to, they only teach you how to PASS and get your license. My father's not my father when he's in the passenger seat next to me while I'm driving the car. He suddenly turns into this strict and stern instructor who isn't my father :o

But that was before I started getting used to changing gears on the road, especially when approaching junctions. He still scolds me from time to time whenever I forget to switch gears hahaha but what can I say. I'm still learning how to drive that thing, and I'm getting pretty good at it!

I really can't wait for the day my father finally lets me drive (a manual car) on my own. Whenever I go out with my friends I would no longer take the train and instead, I would drive there! Hehehe. So what if I'm driving a manual car when everyone else is driving an auto? I mean, who drives a manual car anymore? Oh wait, I do! Hehehehe. It's cool :p

Right now I'm waiting for a confirmation letter from the universities I applied to. So far I haven't received any offers. Sheesh. But I can't wait to start university. My parents and I are hoping that I'll be accepted to UM, since it's only a three-minute drive from my house hahahaha. I can't wait to start working on projects and assignments and I was told that there'll be nights when I'll be sleeping in the studio just to finish an assignment. I like challenges.

Kinda bored at the moment. I'm looking for something artsy and crafty to work on.

Thursday, March 29

11:17 PM

Today just isn't my day. My morning kicked off with a rough start. I woke up feeling like crap. My head felt woozy and i felt like fainting. I suspected the crappy feeling I got was probably due to the fact that I'm still jet lagged and I kept on waking up nearly every hour last night.

I started getting heartburns after I had a sorry excuse of a breakfast that included two crackers and a glass of water. I had no appetite, especially after swallowing that godawful gastric medication that tasted like sand. I've been getting gastric pains for the past couple of days and it's driving me nuts. My medications are almost finished now and if I don't get well by then, I'd have to go see the doctor again.

My heartburns were merciless. I had no appetite to eat. I still have those annoying heartburns. It feels like someone's punching my chest repeatedly. Add to that, I had back pains as well and I felt weak. Felt like shit.

My parents and I went out to dinner tonight. When we got home, I discovered some brownish black stuff on my bedroom floor. It wasn't poop, because it didn't smell like it. When I touched it, it stuck to my fingers. It smeared like grease and stained my fingers like ink. I had to scrub my fingers with a sponge and lots of soap to get it off, whatever it was. So I cleaned it off with a wet sponge and some Clorox. The Clorox left an unsightly residue on my floor so I had to mop it up. To get the mop would be useless, so I took an old rag, dunked it in some water mixed with a bit of cleaning fluid, and wiped the stain off my floor. I got on all fours and scrubbed my floor tiles, Cinderella style. My room still smells like Clorox. Like a friggin swimming pool. Yuck.

Also, my sister managed to fix the toilet bowl! Something went wrong with the flush and the piping and some other nuisance. But she fixed it! Yay!

I feel like crap now. My heartburns are annoying and I feel like I need to throw up. And I'll be starting off my day early tomorrow and that's the last thing i'm looking forward to right now.

Arggghhh.

Tuesday, March 27

1:26 AM

Germany was amazing. It's quite hard to believe that I was still in Berlin just seven days ago. I'm having the post-vacation blues/depression now. Happens every time after I just got back from a really supercalifragilisticespiyellidocious-ly wonderful vacation. Ellie Goulding's songs remind me of Germany and it breaks my heart to listen to them because they remind me so much of all the good times I've had when in Western Europe (we went to Prague and Salzburg as well, which aren't in Germany). Depressed. Lifeless. Bleh.

Watched The Hunger Games for the second time today. Or yesterday, since it's 1am on a Tuesday now. Obsessed with that movie. Totally in love with the soundtrack and music score and storyline and the characters and the subtle romance and the whole feel of the movie. I plan to watch it again this weekend hahaha. I managed to bump into my old friend while i was heading to the cinema just ten minutes before the movie started. It was my day off so I decided to go watch a movie...by myself. It felt therapeutic, to just spend some time with myself alone. I watched THG at The Gardens and spent 26 bucks on my ticket and 7 bucks on snacks. Bloody expensive. But totally worth it.

Jet lagged. Depressed. I'm editing the photos I shot from my vacation in Western Europe when I have the time now. My heart breaks over and over again when I browse through my photo album and see those great moments I had while I was in Germany, and Prague and Salzburg.

Sigh. What is life.

Thursday, March 15

4:56 AM

I'll miss the announcement of the SPM results in school, with my friends, on Wednesday? So what. I've got more things to look forward to :)

We're in Berlin now, after a loooong 8-hour journey by bus from Heidelberg.

I'm feeling rather homesick at the moment. I wanna go home! I miss the sun and the tropical heat back home, I miss the massage chair. I miss work. I miss my dad and my sister back home :(

Well, I'd be lying if I were to say that I'm not enjoying my time here in Germany. The architecture here is amazing! I've already shot about 500 photos here and I can't wait to process them back home. My memory card can fit another 400 pictures and I have to find a way to make it last for the next seven days. Especially when we go sight-seeing tomorrow. Especially when we'll be in Prague, where the architecture is even better than Heidelberg! And especially when we get to Salzburg after Prague!

Looking forward to that! I don't want to think about my SPM results for now hahah. I can't wait to go back home and start processing all my photos here.

I'm having a splendid time here so far. And I made a friend too :')

Wednesday, March 14

2:50 AM

I'm in Germany. The place is great, I'm having fun, yadi yadi yada.

My mother planned the trip such that we land in KL on the 22nd of March, just after Subuh. Just in time to go to school and meet my friends and get my SPM results while they're being announced.

Oh wait.

They're being released on the 21st. I'll still be in the plane. On the way back. To KL.

Which means I won't be able to join my friends in school as the principal announces the SPM results, together with the names of the high-scorers to go up on stage. And I won't be able to meet my teachers together with my classmates.

I'll miss out on everything.

Regardless of my results, whether good or bad, the thought of missing the reunion with my friends and classmates and teachers just...

My whole trip has just fucking ruined. Too upset to care about my vulgar language.

Thursday, March 8

2:21 PM

I'm finally leaving for a 14-day trip to Germany tonight, at midnight. I'm very excited about it, but at the same time I feel pretty sad about leaving home and everyone and everything behind. The first days are always the hardest, I suppose.

I'm pretty bummed that I haven't got the chance to meet my office mates today for the last time before I depart for Germany. I was supposed to go to work today but there were some complications so I stayed home. More time for me to be at home before I leave, I suppose.

I honestly don't know what it's going to be like for the next fourteen days. I've never been to a really cold country before and I'm hopelessly clueless as to how many layers of clothes I should be wearing hahah. My suitcase is full off sweaters and pullovers and jackets, most of them belonging to my sister. As for my part, I just threw in whatever jackets and thick, woolly stuff I own into the pile haha.

The part that I'm most excited about this trip is taking pictures. LOTS of pictures! It's gonna be one helluva tough time for me to choose which pictures to process later on when I'm back home but oh well. I'm sure it's gonna be worth it ;D I've been sharpening my photo-processing skills for the past few days and I'm really starting to see the advantages of shooting in RAW as apposed to just shooting in JPEGs. Haha. Basically, when you shoot in RAW, you can control every single detail in that particular photo and that's what makes a great photo. Ceh. Haha.

Less than 12 hours to a 14-hour flight to Germany now :)

I still haven't learned a single German word. Bahahah. Let's hope my phone will be useful in this.

Bismillah. May my flight to Germany and back be a safe and pleasant one. Amin.

Really hoping there's gonna be wifi there. Hahah. Goodbyeeee :)

Wednesday, March 7

1:21 PM

Just some photos from Hatyai.

Monday, March 5

7:30 PM

Melancholic. The mood of this song goes well with my mood today.

Thursday, March 1

11:38 PM

I hate today. I hate it hate it hate it hate. Stupid PMS ruining my mood. every. Single. Frikkin time. I hate that I haven't been very productive for the past couple of days and I hate going through those unpredictable few days before the time of the month. Cramps, headaches, bloody mood swings.

I think this is by far my worst case of PMS ever. When I got home from work today, I just flipped. When I got to my room, with my sore shoulder and a heavy backpack, the Quran and the small book of Surah Yaasin on my bedside table fell to the floor because my backpack accidentally hit it and pushed it to the floor. So I patiently put down my bag and picked up the Quran and the Surah Yaasin book.

There were also a couple of half-empty bottles of body wash on my bedside table, then suddenly out of nowhere they tumbled down to the floor, together with another book, and some other junk I should've thrown away but didn't. Everything fell to the floor with a loud thunk! and that's when I flipped...which led to a whole new series of unfortunate consequent events.

Since some of the body wash spilled onto the floor, I had to clean it up and it was tedious. There was just too much soapy liquid to be cleaned with such a tiny rag that I had to run back and forth from that spot to the bathroom to rinse the rag so I could fully get rid of the soapy substance on my floor. There was this one time when I was about to exit the bathroom, and somehow I lost my balance and my elbow hit the glass shower door. It was so painful! ...and it was also the breaking point for me. Out of nowhere I screamed in frustration as I felt the numbness of my elbow kicking in, and I threw things to the floor and swore so vulgarly. Not proud of it.

I haven't been this temperamental in a long time. And I hate myself when I look back on how I handled those tough situations so poorly. After I was finally done wiping the soap from my floor, I lied down on my bed, closed my eyes, and quietly whispered "Astaghfirullahalazim" many times until i felt slightly better. I should've done that earlier when I was in such an unpleasant situation instead of letting myself succumb to the anger and frustration inside me. But I was just so tired, what with my scorching headache, and all I wanted to do as soon as I got home was to just lay in bed and relax. But then a series of unfortunate events happened and I wasn't prepared for it.

Sigh. Sometimes I wish I'm better than this. Especially when I'm on bloody PMS.

6:36 PM

Sometimes I wonder if the things I come up with/design and the photos I snap and process are really that great to others or my standards are just low enough for me to think that my work is the best. Get what I mean?

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