iman nedhiera

Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)

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Thursday, March 31

4:41 PM

My brother, doing his dorky dance. Hahahah.

Wednesday, March 30

5:23 PM

I slept for about an hour last night. Hehe. I'm not kidding.

I spent the night completing my overdue assignments and I'm glad they're done. I went to bed at 5am and managed to get about an hour's worth of sleep. And even though I spent the whole night completing my assignments, it still doesn't change the fact that I have a shitload amount of homework to be done. Excuse my language, this is what happens when you're pretty much sleep-deprived.

I have lots of homework to complete by next week and I don't know how I'm going to achieve that tonight, since there'll be some makan-makan with some relatives and close friends in a few hours. We're celebrating my brother's fiancee's conversion. My brother's fiancee used to be a Christian (I think) and now she's a Muslim! Alhamdulillah :)

Loads of work to doooooo and I'm having a migraine. Yay. Sleep-deprivation rocks my socks.

Tuesday, March 29

4:46 PM

My shoulders are aching and my stomach is empty and all I'm having for lunch is a bottle of Coke and I have a lot of work to do and I'm starting to freak out because tonight we're going out for dinner and I don't know if I have time to finish everything before a new days comes.

And yes, I'm going insane.

I need caffeine. Lots of caffeine. Coffee coffee coffee!

Had a good day today. Spent a splendid time with my friends and classmates and schoolmates and teachers. Took lots of pictures.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'll most probably be returning to school tomorrow with panda eyes.

Monday, March 28

8:47 PM

You gained my trust and told me how much you hate liars.

Well then, who's the liar now?

Don't be such a hypocrite. Please la.

On the bright side...

Nothing makes me feel so peaceful the way Florence + the Machine does. Awesome vid.

5:27 PM

Today happens to be one of my most memorable days in my entire life, and I'm not just saying that just to exaggerate things. It really is one of my most memorable days.

Since I'm a fifth former this year and since this is my last year in school, we had our last photography session...ever. I had to help out to make sure the photography session ran smoothly since I'm in the editorial board, and it was hectic. Some of the students were so rebellious and they didn't want to listen to our instructions, but above all that I still had a fun time bossing people around. Ngeheheh >:D

After school, a few of my classmates and I along with Tasha and Ash, my best friends, went to Subway at Capsquare to have some lunch. It wasn't my first time going to Subway after school, ngeheheheh. It's fun, really, but the fun-sucking part was the walk back to school. Capsquare is just across the road from where my school is, that is if you use the exit near the White Hall. But since the gate at that exit closes at 1.30, we had to use a different route to go back to school. For some lame reason we can't use the elevator in the AIA building to go back up to our school, since that's the shortest route. So we literally had to make a U-turn from one side of the road to the other. It was pretty safe as we were travelling in a large group.

I brought along a digital camera -- not the Canon DSLR I usually bring -- today because I just felt like it, and I didn't regret it at all. I snapped a few good shots of my schoolmates and I, albeit the camera started to get all rebellious on me and the batteries were close to dead. But anyhow, I still managed to take some pictures of myself with my schoolmates.

My krazy 5K klassmates :D And look at Pn Aizan! She's so cute! Hehe.

We should have lunch at Subway more often :)

Sunday, March 27

6:01 PM

WHY CAN'T I COME UP WITH SOMETHING? ANYTHING!!!!

4:52 PM

See, when you're in Form 5, your only goal is to get excellent results for SPM. But then this extra jargon comes in; homework.

I don't really mind extracurricular assignments, but I really think that homework is a waste of time. Well, maybe the homework for the science subjects and also mod. maths and add. maths are important, but I really don't care about the rest. I think that when we're assigned with too much homework, it eats up our time and limits our studying time.

I like studying, but I hate homework. Each time I open up my reference books to study, I feel so guilty for neglecting my homework and I hate when that happens. And then I end up doing my homework instead of studying. And by the time I'm done with homework, I'll be too tired to study.

Wouldn't it be much more productive if teachers ask us to study on a certain topic and then have a quiz in school instead of assigning us with more (useless) homework? I'm just saying.

Saturday, March 26

9:44 PM

I had a wonderful, wonderful day today. I wasn't expecting to go out with my best friends when I woke up this morning.

My best friends had an impromptu plan to go out together. Ash called me just before noon and asked if I could join them at KLCC, so I asked my sister if she could send me and when she said yes, I asked my dad for permission and he gave me the green light. So I got ready and then my sister sent me to KLCC.

I was planning to study today but since my best friends were going out and they asked me to join, I couldn't resist. We barely get to spend time together, as a group, nowadays. Everyone's always busy with something and it's driving me nuts. So today happened to be the day when we could spend some time together, just the three of us, without anyone and anything interrupting our girly-girl bonding time.

Yes, I had a wonderful day today. The weather was also bright and sunny and clear, so we decided to go out to the park at KLCC and just walk around. Before that we went to Cold Storage where we bought some cold drinks for teatime. Then we went to the food court where we ate nachos and a bit of Tasha's chicken and cheese taco. Mexican fooooood, yum. Only then we went out to the park.

It was a beautiful sunny day to be outside and I enjoyed spending my afternoon with my best friends. We snapped lots of pictures and we laughed a lot, and it really felt like old times. Just the three of us sitting together, making lame jokes and laughing like there's no tomorrow. I also enjoyed the occasional breeze that came our way. It's like the textbook definition of a perfect day; spending good quality time with your best friends on a bright, clear day.

To me, our friendship is definitely rare. I've never had such good friends before and that's why I love them so much *barf* I mean, err, yeeaaahhh. Hihihi don't kill me Tasha and Ash! Anyway, I really hope that our friendship will last for years. I really hope that we can still be best friends by the time we get married and have children, and then we'd take a weekend off together and just have lunch or tea together, and complain about our busy lives. Haha. Loooong way to go. But yeah, I really hope that this friendship will last. These two people are very hard to find, so I will try my best to keep them in my life for as long as I live on this earth.

We've even planned to have a road trip together when we're older. I can imagine us all huddled up in a tiny car, cranking up the volume on the radio, taking turns to drive the car on our way to our destination. Hehe.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to have such special gems in my life :')

Friday, March 25

11:36 PM

Speechless. Amazed. I'm having goosebumps. This woman is AMAZING! She sounds absolutely perfect when she sings live and I love the fact that she actually ran and spun in those killer heels of hers in this video haha.

Sorry, I just can't get over my obsession with Florence + The Machine hehehehe.

3:39 PM

I'm not sure if I should be laughing or be sympathetic towards this girl. I did neither. I ended up laughing as the video came to an end when some two Kelantanese men spoke in their rich Kelantanese accent, saying how dumb this girl is to commit suicide. Haha.

3:17 PM

I just received news from my good friend Atasha that our class have made it to the finals for the Form 5 interclass drama competition.

When I heard the news I was smiling so wide my cheeks burned. You have no idea how elated and satisfied I am right now.

Alhamdulillah! :)

Thursday, March 24

4:34 PM

Today we had the interclass drama competition for the fifth formers. It was the semi-finals.

I don't feel like writing long today. But I just hope that my class will qualify for the finals. I think we might just have a chance of getting in the top 4.

I kind of want my class to compete in the finals. I really hope we do.

InsyaAllah. Amin.

Wednesday, March 23

4:18 PM

You have no idea how exhausted I am right now. It's only Wednesday and I'm already this tired. My whole body is sore and I don't know why. My legs and thighs are sore, my shoulders are aching, and I just want the weekend to come.

Tomorrow we'll be having our interclass drama competition for the fifth formers. It'll only be the semi-finals and (un)fortunately my class will be the first to perform. I stayed back at school until 3.30 today just to practice the drama, since I'll be acting tomorrow. I really hope we'll qualify for the finals.

I had a pretty rough day and all I want to do now is just sleep. My mood hasn't been so good today. I constantly feel pissed and annoyed and I tend to snap at people easily.

Today the SPM results were out. About 50 people managed to get straight A's for SPM in my school, and I think that's freaking awesome! That's like nearly a hundred percent increase from last year's number of straight-A students. Since I was on duty, I had to go down to the hall early to arrange the chairs for the parents who came. I then did some other things, and by then last year's batch of fifth formers were already filling the hall. I watched as they were reunited once again with their friends and classmates, some shrieked in delight and there were many, many huggings haha. Most of them were obviously terrified of getting their SPM results and it was so conspicuous that I could literally feel the air heavy with fear. I had cold feet and cold hands and I was shivering slightly while carrying out my duty. It was scary.

It's been a tradition for I don't know how long, for the current fifth formers to be in the hall while the results are being announced. It's supposed to motivate us, the current fifth formers, to try to work harder to achieve good results. I? I was definitely motivated. I was so scared that all I wanted to do was just go back up to my classroom and prop open a textbook and read it. I managed to get good results for PMR and I've forgotten how it felt to have accomplished such a thing. I want to experience the same thing again next year. I want my name to be called up on stage when the results are announced. My target would be at least 7A's.

Okay now I'm scared.

I'm just so exhausted. I feel lethargic. I really need a good rest tonight so that I'll have enough energy to project my voice out to the audience for the drama competition tomorrow. I haven't had lunch yet because the food in the school canteen sucks and I didn't have sufficient energy to go out to McD or Subway to grab some lunch. Blegh. I'm starving.

I am soooooooo tired. I think I'm gonna take a short nap before feeding my angry growling stomach.

Ah yes, and there'll always be homework/assignments to be done. I'm so thrilled, I can go kill myself.

Tuesday, March 22

9:54 PM

Ah, Florence + The Machine. One of my favourite bands everrrrrr. Florence is weird, but she's cool :)

And I'd kill to have her gorgeous legs!

Monday, March 21

8:55 PM

I was just reading my current novel, Half-Broke Horses, written by Jeannette Walls. It's actually a non-fictional story and I only found out about that after I've read the first few pages.

Anyway, I won't bore you with the synopsis of the novel. But the story revolves around a very highly-respectable woman whose name was Lily Casey Smith. She's the biological grandmother of the writer, Jeannette Walls. This Lily woman, she's such an inspiration to me. The novel narrated how she lived a hard life when she was young, how she had to work on her father's ranch, how she explored the world when she grew up.

Lily Casey Smith is a woman I'll never forget. Okay that sounds wrong....but she really is an inspiration to me. She's so persevered and diligent in life and she did anything she could to get what she wanted, to achieve her goals and dreams. She wasn't fragile. She was mentally strong and mentally prepared for what the outside world brought to her.

That's her. Ma'am, you are a wonderful, wonderful person :)

4:52 PM

Well, today wasn't really smooth-sailing. School went on fine, laden with mounds of homework...as usual. And there'll be PTI tomorrow! Wonderful.

When school ended and I was about to exit the school compound to go home, I tripped and fell at the Red Hall. There's like this not-so-small step upon entering the Red Hall and that's where I fell. I was wearing my heels, and my long skirt that limited my movements didn't really help. So as I was about to go down that step, my right foot gave and I fell, landed on all fours. I wasn't really embarrassed that I fell in front of many people, heck I even heard a group of girls laughing boisterously at me. But I wasn't embarrassed, not really. I was just relieved that my spectacles didn't break because when I fell, I was holding my specs in my hand and I used that hand to break my fall. I was grateful that my spectacles were unharmed. But I got some dirt on my blazer and my high-heels are scratched. And not forgetting, I sprained my ankle as well. Great.

I guess the reason why I fell was because my right foot wasn't really prepared for the weight that acted on it when I was descending down that godforsaken step. My backpack was pretty heavy and I guess when I was walking, I absent-mindedly put all the weight on my right foot as I stomped the lower ground.

I was actually quite surprised that I wasn't embarrassed, even though I heard some loud laughter from a group of girls that was probably directed right at me. But I just kept walking like nothing happened, or maybe the right word for it would be limping. I was limping all the way to my dad's car where he waited to pick me up.

My ankle is all right, just that I sprained it a little. It's a little sore and I can still walk without limping, but it still hurts. Oh well, nothing some ice pack wouldn't help.

I also found out something that I didn't really want to find out when I got home from school. In a way it made me slightly distraught but I'm mostly just numb. I don't know if I should laugh at myself or be mad for being a fool.

Anyway, I plan to do some brisk-walking on the treadmill later. Perhaps an occasional jog, if my ankle can handle it. I just want to de-stress myself and forget about the world for a moment.

And I'll be walking in heels again tomorrow. Fantastic. And I have like four essays to write and about three articles to summarize. Die la weh.

I'd rather have a broken ankle than sitting down at the table for hours trying to write four goddammned essays.

Sunday, March 20

5:25 PM

There are times when I just feel like getting out of the house to clear my thoughts, or just simply to relax and be by myself and enjoy the solitude that surrounds me.

There are many countless times when I just wish that I can drive.

There are also times when I wish that I can simply take a stroll around the neighbourhood, or at the park, by myself.

And there are many, many countless times when I just with that I can be done with SPM noooowwww.

But of course, there will always be a time when you have to wait to get what you want.

Waiting sucks. And for some reason, nowadays I've been enjoying the solitude that has become my best friend. I don't really mind being alone, in fact all my life I've been a loner. But I kind of enjoy being alone sometimes, haha. Socializing isn't really a skill I'm good at. I'm terribly shy and reserved. I don't know. You can call me a snob, but nothing can stop me from enjoying the occasional silence and solitude that I get.

Being a snob and being reserved are two completely different things. Being a snob is like when you put your nose up high and when people talk to you, you show an indifferent face and you only respond with one- or two-syllable words. That's a snob. Being reserved is nothing like being a snob. You're just shy and you don't really know how to initiate a conversation with somebody, and you're usually the type of person who needs someone else to start the conversation. And that type of person, is me.

I don't even know why I'm blabbering about this. I've got homework to do haha. I hate Sundays knowing that there's school the next day.

Toodles.

Friday, March 18

2:01 PM

I always thought the singer from this band looks a bit like Ashton Kutcher. Haha. He looks cuuuuuute in here :')

To compensate for my utter unproductive-ness yesterday, I have decided to get a few things done today.

First off, later in the afternoon I'm going to clean and declutter my room. My room is such a mess now haha. After that, I plan to start doing -- yes, start doing -- my homework and try to finish it all in one sitting. Psh yeah as if that's gonna happen. But I want to try and finish as much as I can today. I really gotta buck up and bring this laziness of mine to a halt.

And maybe after I'm starting to get bored with homework, I'll try to finish up my other extracurricular assignments. I have a couple of reports to write for my sport-house Pauline, and ahhh crap I have to prepare a couple of name-lists.

Ohhh not only that, hopefully tonight I'll be able to reward myself with a plate of yummy, hearty, home-cooked spaghetti and a slice of some divine quiche at this one cafe in Subang Jaya. My sister's taking me there tonight, weeeeeeee.

I'm not writing long. I think right now I want to read a novel.

Have a good day!

Thursday, March 17

10:35 PM

I'm seriously starting to hate computer graphics. I just feel like throwing in the towel because my mind is just sooo...empty!

Lately I've been pretty futile and fruitless when it comes to coming up with graphic designs. I don't know what's wrong with me but whenever I try to come up with a design for the school magazine, everything looks so messed up and unprofessional and sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel and call it quits. I don't know why it's so hard for me to come up with something nowadays. The cogs and gears in my brain are gradually getting slower, rustier, and I'm starting to get stressed over it.

I don't know what to do and it seems that nothing inspires me anymore. Even if I come across something that should be inspiring to me, I end up copying exactly what that "inspiration" is. To tell you the truth, I haven't come up with anything for the school magazine. The header and footer for each page isn't done, and the rest of the pages that should've been done last month are still missing.

I have no idea what is going on with me right now but I just hope this futileness will pass. I've become very lazy nowadays and I don't know how to overcome that. And when it comes to my studies, trying to sit down at my desk and reading the reference books and doing exercises seems like a very painful thing to do. I get distracted so easily and I just feel so messed up. I feel myself getting dumb and dumber as each day passes by and I can really feel my mind clouding up, making everything foggy.

I also read less nowadays. Back then I used to read at least a few pages of a novel every single day. Now? I barely even touch the book. I find it so devastating because I see this as some sort of a beginning to a time period where everything is just dark and blurry and foggy and everything is the result of futility. I don't know why I can't come up with something productive, anything at all, and it's starting to make me stressed out.

What is wrong with me? :'/

5:16 PM

Ain't it purrrty? Haha. My mum returned from Vietnam last night and she brought home some gifts for the whole family. And I got this gorgeous necklace and also a pair of white linen pants. Oh, I love linen pants!

Ah, yes, after having dinner at Midvalley last night, my dad took me to this one camera shop because I wanted to see my Nikon D3100 in the flesh. I tried it out, loved how it fit my tiny little hands perfectly, and I'm definitely planning to get that camera. I don't really need an expensive camera, I just want a decent one that I can call my own so I can use them for photography purposes.

I tried out the D90 as well, but I didn't like how it was too big and too heavy. And plus it was like 50% more expensive than the D3100, so I'm crossing that out.

I can almost hear my D3100 calling my name out, begging for me to take it home with me bahaha.

InsyaAllah, that beauty will hopefully be mine in a few months :)

1:39 AM

Mama hama! I'm officially in love with these.

Wednesday, March 16

1:38 PM

"Also with my other bestfriend Iman, looks like there's another person tht i can stand with, wait wait, i cant stand her :P I also feel like i wanna fly kick her.
Conclusion is, we're all so messed up with each other sometimes tht we would like to kill each other and pull each other's hair but in the end, our friendship is still so valuable and nothing could ever cut that bond between us. We're like particles, so packed together. The forces of attraction is so tight, we dont have a high boiling point or a high melting point bcause tht'll still mean tht we're breakable with a high condition. But even a high condition cant break us apart :)" -- Ezleen Natasha.

Awwww...this melts my heart, in a good way! I love the fact that my best friends are so sweet without being too mushy. They're sweet and funny haha. Exhibit A; the excerpt from Tasha's latest post on her blog. Haha.

Blessed :)

Tuesday, March 15

6:29 PM

Just finished about half an hour on the treadmill. I managed to burn off 145 calories over a 2km walk while listening to some classic rock songs on my iPod. I wasn't really jogging, it was more of a fast walk over an inclined plane. Also, my dad was making chicken soup, I think, and the fragrant scent of it flew out to the patio and seduced my nostrils and taste buds. Can't wait to eat dinner tonight :)

One of the reasons why I love to work out? THESE SHOES!! I love the fact that they look so rugged and tough and mean-looking haha. And I love the colours too! They belong(ed) to my eldest sister who exercises a lot. She passed them down to my youngest elder sister Kakcik because the shoes are pretty big for her, and plus Kakcik complained that she didn't have "the perfect shoes" to go on the treadmill. Psh :P

Soooooo since no one's using it......I decided to use them bahaha. It's not like I have the right shoes for the treadmill anyway -.-

See, Kakcik? All the more reason you should start working out! Aren't those shoes purrrty? :P

Monday, March 14

11:40 PM

I was bored, so I browsed through my archive of photo albums and I stumbled upon the photos my bestfriends and I took when we were at Ashiqin's house. I really miss that girl-bonding-time we had a few months back.

Nowadays I feel like as if we haven't been spending so much time with each other together. It's either Tasha and Ash hanging out together, or me and Tasha, or me and Ash. We do sit in a group together in school, especially during recess, but I feel that we haven't really been hanging out enough. Everyone's always busy with something and I hate the fact that we're constantly pulled apart by some obstacle.

I miss my best friends, albeit I see them everyday in school. And we've been planning to go out together, or at least have a day to ourselves to be together and just...relax. But there are obstacles constantly being thrown in our way and I really hope I can see them sometime this week, before school is reopened again. I mean, once this semester break is over, everyone will be busy again, with the interclass drama and all.

Ah, best friends, where are youuuuuuu?

9:56 PM

Ooohhhh if only I have a colour-printer here at home, I can print a picture of this camera and post it on my dresser and look at it and daydream about it day and night.

I just love Nikon, seriously. I haven't really been a fan of Canon when it comes to DSLRs but Nikon really stands out from the rest. And no, it's not because of the brand. I don't know why, but I somehow prefer Nikon over the rest. I've done some research on this D3100 and I've read a few reviews and this camera is pretty promising. I mean, sure, there are some features which I'd love to have on this camera but I'm sure I can live without them. And plus, from what I've read, this camera is small, which I hope will be suitable for my small hands! Hehe. I have yet to go to a store and see the real thing.

Hmm...maybe the next time my dad and I go to Midvalley, I'll ask for his permission to survey some of the shops there that sell Nikon DSLRs. M'hm m'hm.

My brother owns a Nikon D5000 and my sister still owns her ancient D70s, and InsyaAllah I will one day own a Nikon D3100. We'll be a family of Nikon! Ceh. Hahaha. This isn't just some random daydream of mine, I am definitely serious about getting a DSLR with my own money when the time is right. I'm deeply infatuated with photography and I want to invest on a new DSLR which I can call my own, just to fulfill that self-satisfaction of mine hehe.

I'm also considering Nikon D90, but it's a whole lot more expensive than the D3100. Oh well. Who knows, maybe by the time I manage to earn enough money, the D90's price will deflate? Haha. I've talked to my dad about my intention on buying my own DSLR, and he gave me the green light. But he told me that I should get a first-hand camera instead of a second-hand, and that was a bit of a killjoy. I've done some research on the lowest possible prices for a D3100 and a D90, and I found out that I can get a second-hand D90 for the price of a D3100. Oh well. I can't really decide now since I haven't even surveyed the shops available.

Just a few more months and InsyaAllah, I'll be able to get a new Nikon DSLR, using my own money. I feel more satisfied that way, using my own money to get what I want.

And plus, I like how all Nikon DSLR cameras always have that red triangle towards the right side of the camera. Ngehehe. Nikon is kool. I mean cool.

One day :)

Sunday, March 13

1:22 PM

I feel like studying todaaaayyy.

And I'm starting to fall in love with Chemistry ngehehehe.

But I hate those reading subjects, though. Especially Sejarah. EEE. I find it so ironic, since I love to read and all but I seriously disdain all those reading subjects. Bleckh.

Life would be so much easier without answer schemes. I don't even understand why our education system even has answer schemes for literally every subject. I mean, I thought the whole point of going to school is to nourish your brains with useful knowledge, to sharpen your mentality and thinking skills, and to be able to think creatively. Well apparently not. They feed us with useful knowledge, yes, but everything is only in black and white. Why not ask us to memorize the answer schemes in the first place? Wouldn't that make life so much easier, since that's what everyone wants nowadays?

I don't understand why these people even bother to print out textbooks for us instead of just dumping all the answer schemes on our tables so that we can memorize them. I'm not saying that I'd like for that to happen, but given the circumstances....And then they'll wonder why our marks are so incredibly low and all that crap. See, some of us really do answer the questions based on what we understand, based on the concept of it all, and yes of course we answer what the questions want us to answer. But then again, all that just doesn't matter because we did not follow the answer schemes!

Seriouslyyyyy! Now that all the upper secondary subjects have structure and subjective questions in them, it's getting really hard to score. Maybe some of us aren't really gifted with superior memorizing skills like others do, but that doesn't mean that we don't try to ace our exams. We try, based on our understandings. But...then again, when we answer the questions in our own possible ways, there's a high chance of us not being able to score at all.

Even my addmaths teacher says that our education system is too exam oriented. I remember her telling the whole class a few days back that if you go to other countries and observe their education system, the students will be asked to find the answers themselves. They're not spoon-fed like us. Which makes them highly smart and intelligent compared to...well...us.

Sighhhh. I can't wait to get SPM over and done with. I'm sick of not getting marks for my answers just because I didn't follow the answer schemes. I can become very rebellious when it comes to getting the right rewards for what I've done.

And yesterday, my friend told me that the government won't grant us scholarships if we're intent on studying overseas. I'm not sure if it's true, but if it is, DUDEEEEE!!! And they're planning to make it a point to have all the maths and science subjects to be in Bahasa Malaysia in 2013. Whut? Seriously? Are you people trying to worsen the generations in the future? And yet you're already saying that as the generation goes, their mentalities and thinking skills worsen as well. Sama je macam orang lain. Pandai cakap orang tapi tak reti nak tengok diri sendiri.

You can call me a traitor, but at least I stand my own grounds and strongly believe in my own opinion. I mean, you know, I might be wrong about my opinion and by all means, please feel free to object. But I'm a human being too and I deserve to be entitled to my own opinions.

Enough said.

Saturday, March 12

11:04 PM

I love cruising through these trees. I feel so...peaceful :)

10:55 PM

I am SERIOUSLY starting to get obsessed with stop-motions -.-

Awkwaaaaaaard. Ohppp.

Friday, March 11

10:28 PM

Soooo, this afternoon I found out that Japan has been hit by an earthquake and it's the worst earthquake in Japan's history. And then later that afternoon, I watched the news with my dad and I saw how angry Mother Nature is/was! The earthquake was awful and it caused a ferocious tsunami measuring about err, 10m high, I think.

I mean, when I heard about the earthquake this afternoon, I shrugged it off since Japan is used to earthquakes. But when I was about to go up to my room after dozing off on the massage chair, my dad stopped me in my tracks and showed me the news on Japan's terrible earthquake. At that time, I was witnessing the tsunami attacking Sendai, I think. My eyes literally popped wide open as I watched the TV screen showing the water slowly consuming the plains of Japan. I then sat down and watched the news with my dad and I sat frozen on the couch. My heart started to thunder loudly in my chest and my mind was just...empty. It was like as if I was there at the scene of the tragedy.

I'm pretty sure this earthquake in Japan shook the whole world. It definitely shook me.

I feel like crying right now. I really mourn for the people in Japan, although I haven't really been a fan of Japan but my prejudices are set aside because so many lives have been taken, and a lot of damages have occurred. I feel very sad for these people and I wish I could do something for them.

I'm so sad. I want to cry. I don't think I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight.

Thursday, March 10

3:11 PM

I'm planning to get one of these soon, when I have the money. Hmmmmmm can't decide. Gotta start saving money from now heheh.

Wednesday, March 9

8:33 PM

I am seriously, seriously exhausted. Mentally and physically.

I plan to sleep early tonight. Get my homework done, have my school uniform ironed, and then...to bed I go! I haven't had dinner yet and I'm starting to get crankyyyy.

Yes. I shall sleep early tonight and dream of Eddie Cibrian and a pair of red Converse chucks and the soon-to-be-mine Nikon D3100. Yes. I am random.

Oooohhhh. I think a part of me just melted.

6:36 PM

My mum got me this standing lamp so that I can have proper lighting whenever I do my work downstairs at the dining area, where I usually use the laptop and do my homework haha. At least, I think it's for me. Oh well. If it's meant to be mine, I'm already thinking of ways to spruce up this lamp. I plan to paint some swirls on the lampshade and on the stand as well. It looks kinda bare.

I hope my mum'll give me permission to paint the lamp haha. I'm feeling adventurous :D

But first I need to get some acrylic paint though....

Tuesday, March 8

6:51 PM

Didn't get to see much of the sun today but it still peeked through the thick blanket of clouds. It rained this morning and it's been a very gloomy day, filled with many gloomy, strenuous, stressful events. Seeing the sun today has been relieving. It feels like as if a huge weight has been lifted off my chest.

As usual, I'm laden with a lot of work today. It's only Tuesday and I'm already getting really exhausted. The weekend seems so far away and I can't wait to hang out with a couple of my classmates this weekend. I'm mentally and physically drained and at the end of the day, all I want to do is just sleeeeep for as long as I want without having my 5.30am alarm annoy me in the morning.

I really miss those glorious sunny days. I'm still waiting for the day when it'll be sunny all day and there'll be no thunderclouds to steal the sun's pride.

Monday, March 7

6:45 PM

This is what you have to go through each time you wanna snap a photo when your auto-focus is pretty much non-existent and all you have is the manual-focus. Can't wait to get my Nikon D3100 sooooon -- which will probably be in a year's time haha. InshaAllah.

Sunday, March 6

9:34 PM

Beautiful. Astounding. This picture makes me go ooohhhh. I can really feel the heat coming from this photo and I can feel my tiny frail self getting lost in these canyons. This is exactly what I want people to feel when I snap a photo of something. I want them to feel the impact of it that leaves them breathless.

Arizona, we shall unite when the time is right. Hey that rhymes!

5:15 PM

I'm having one of those days when I think about my future a lot. Like what I'm going to do right after SPM ends while waiting for my results. Right now I'm juggling between taking up a part-time job or to sign up for baking classes.

I'm glad it's already March but at the same time I'm kinda sad. No, wait, excited, more like. I just can't wait to finish SPM, to finish school. I really can't wait. People tell me to enjoy my school life while I'm still at it, and I do try to enjoy myself. But sometimes I just feel like fast-forwarding my life so that, you know, I can be freeeeeeeee.

I'm just not in the mood for anything right now. Expect me to be grim for the next few days.

Whilst that....

My brother and my sister are nuts haha. This is the human-metronome you know you can (never) trust. Hahaha. Laughed like mad throughout the whole production of this. We made a running-man stop motion too but you don't wanna see that haha.

Saturday, March 5

1:26 PM

Ha. Most of them are true but there are a few which are quite...wrong? Haha. Badan yang sasa!? Tidak hargai pujian!?

......

-.-

Friday, March 4

4:33 PM

I have a love-hate relationship with my day today.

I had a pretty decent morning, at least until before classes started. This morning when I got to school, I hung out with my prefect-classmate at the stage while waiting for the reading session to start. She wouldn't stop making a fool of herself, in a good way, and she made me laugh so much I had to clear my throat tons of times and clench my stomach because I was laughing so hard haha.

And then the clock struck 7.15 and the reading session was on. I was already in a good mood and I had a feeling I'd have a good day. While I was strolling the canteen to make sure the students kept quiet, a junior came up to me and complimented my work on the school magazine. I got so elated and I guess I can really say that she made my day even better.

So then classes started. I got back my Physics papers and I was very, very disappointed with my marks. Again, my answers made sense, but noooooooo, I didn't follow the stupid answer scope. Like, seriously! I'm not going to even nag about why I hate exams, especially when there are the techniques and answer scopes to be followed. I'm just very disappointed with my Physics marks.

I managed to get an A- for BM, which was pretty disappointing knowing that I was only two marks shy of getting an A. But, I'm still glad nonetheless. Grateful, more like.

I also had this recurring headache, where I felt like as if there's something knocking against the walls on the left side of my head. Maybe it was due to my lack of sleep last night haha. But I'm glad it's over now.

When school ended, I had to face a couple of rude people and you know how much I loathe rude people. First of all, when I was making a call on the public phone in the school canteen, I had my backpack on. Some two primary-school girls whizzed by and hit my backpack and I stumbled and nearly fell, and they didn't even say sorry. I mean, I know they're just kids, but come on. What do parents teach their kids these days? -.-

Secondly, when I got out of the school compound, I nearly crashed into this man who started smoking a cigar. He blew the smoke right into my face but I managed to duck it. I hate smoke, especially when it's coming from a ciggy. I just thought that the man was just so rude because he didn't even say sorry, and he blew the smoke right towards me, and hellooo it's a school compound. It's basic commonsense! You don't smoke at a school compound, where it is overpopulated with kids! I mean, come on!!!

I'm glad it's Friday. Tomorrow will be another weekend and I'm stoked! Happy plans ahead, InshaAllah.

Oh I forgottttt...I have a few essays to work on. Yay :'(

12:58 AM

A perfect example of my OCD. Hahahaha

Thursday, March 3

5:51 PM

"Don't waste this precious talent of yours okay? Sharpen the skills Allah gave you." -- Kak Rehanna Razif, my senior.

I'm smiling so wide right now my cheeks are burning. Inspired. Motivated. Elated! These kind of people, they keep me going. The compliments, the praises, they mean so much to me. Without them, and most importantly the people, I'm not sure I'll be able to stand where I am today. This is exactly why I enjoy trying to come up with such impactful designs that'll just leave people in awe. All the blood and pain in the process is worth it, because the satisfaction that comes after that is just...it's inexplainable.

I know I know, some people might go Psh so what? but when you've had a taste of what success feels like, you try so hard to get that feeling again by exceeding your limits, breaking down barriers and crossing over your boundaries. Success is gold. Making people smile is what I enjoy doing. Simple as that :)

Alhamdulillah :)

1:20 PM

I didn't go to school today because I just didn't feel like it. Wasn't in the mood to be stressed over my exam results and blah blah blah.

Which reminds me...I still haven't asked my English teacher for my exam paper yet. Hehe yesterday I found out that I managed to get the highest marks in class, again, for English. Yay! Although it wasn't an A+ -- booo! -- the fact that I got the highest marks just made me realize that I can outdo some people. All I need is just that extra hard work.

Oh well. I might have gotten a pathetic D for my Addmaths, but at the same time it feels good to know that I've gotten the highest marks for English. Ah, English. My favourite subject ever. I love English because you don't have to read much. The only things you need to read about are the literature components. Other than that...well there's nothing much. Just good novels :)

I miss the sunny days. When will it ever be a full, whole day of just the sun? I know sometimes it can get beastly hot, but I just miss those sunny days. I'll most probably have an outing with my sister and my parents this weekend and we're planning to go to FRIM, or Hutan Pendidikan Bukit Gasing, the forest near my house. And it'd suck to go there if it's a gloomy, cloudy day. I hope the plan's still on :S

I don't know what's for lunch. I'll probably just order something from McDonald's.

Bye.

Wednesday, March 2

8:31 PM

I've just received a text message from Pn Raj, the teacher advisor for the school magazine. Her text message just made my day so much better haha.

Ah, yes. I'm always glad to be a part of the editorial board. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me a great opportunity to let me express my talent =)

Life's good.

I don't know where this is but...I seriously want to go here! :O

6:46 PM

Crappy day. Tons of work to be completed. Failed my Addmaths -- well to me I failed, even though I'm only one mark ahead of the passing mark. Blegh.

Screw this. For all you know I might be able to get an A++++ for Addmaths in SPM later. InsyaAllah.

....no wait. I think I will get an A+ for Addmaths in SPM later. Yes yes, I shall do just that. I guess it's true when my teachers say that my classmates and I are very smart, just that we're lazy. I know I am. Which is why I've planted a seed in my heart to conquer this laziness of mine. But for now, even though exams are over, I think I should really revise back everything I've learned last year, just to take away the slightest bit of pressure on my chest, just to make things easier as the year unfolds itself with even more knowledge to be pursued.

Homework is a waste of time. I think I'm gonna study biology/sejarah/chemistry tonight. I feel like reading.

Hey, I think I might just have the slightest bit of my 15-year-old-stressed-about-exams self in me now. I remember two years ago, just months away before PMR, I used to stay up late just to study haha. And I'd scream and shout at anyone who pissed me off. And I'd smash the laptop for getting the wrong answers in the Score A program that my mum signed up for me haha. Silly hot-tempered little girl. Psh.

Speaking of which, I think my mum is signing me up for that online Score A program again. I can't wait till my account is effective again. I'm kinda running out of exercise books to use -.-

I can't wait till this is all over. And while waiting for my SPM results, I'll most probably sign up for baking classes and driving lessons and get my driver's license. Ah, yes, it's just a year away. I just have to overcome this barricade of which I call SPM.

Study mode : On.

I shall go and pray now. I haven't prayed for Asar yet -.-

Tuesday, March 1

4:50 PM

Alhamdulillah, exams are finally over. At least for now haha. The last paper we had today was chemistry. Behhhh. Paper 2 was suicide. It was all subjective questions and some of the questions weren't really specific, so I was kinda baffled on what kind of answers they were looking for. Not to mention they had some grammatical errors though. I corrected them as I skimmed through the paper haha. Lifeless -.-

Paper 1 was slightly better than Paper 2. The questions were pretty tricky but I tried to expand my thoughts on what I've learned and understood, so in the end I could figure out at least some of the answers. I'm not really sure if my answers were correct, because I tried brainstorming to figure them out. But hopefully most of them are correct. I can't fail anything now, now that I'm in Form 5 and SPM is just months away. Gah!

I got back home pretty late today but I had a good time with my sister. After she picked me up from school, she brought me to The Lake Club for lunch, where we ate their scrumptious, decadent beef pie. Mmm. I had a chocolate chip scone smothered in strawberry jam, too. Then she took me to the library at The Lake Club because she wanted to borrow a few magazines. While I waited, I decided to browse through the collection of books they have. The library isn't so big, but they have a pretty huge collection of mostly old, vintage books. I then found a fictional book called The Dangerous Child, with its old hard cover and all. It's vintage :D So I asked my sister if I could borrow it and she said yes. So I brought it home. Yippee! I have three weeks to finish the book. Can't wait to start reading it!

I have tons of work to complete right now but I'm just so tired. I'm mentally drained from all that thinking from the chemistry papers just now. Heh.

I'm currently obsessed with a band, oh wait or is it a singer? Anyway, I'm currently obsessed with Florence + the Machine. I think it's a band. I shall call it a band. Haha. Their songs are very different from other musicians and I find myself liking them and their music a lot. Their songs are very relaxing and very...calming. Somehow the songs remind me of the forest. Haha. I really love their music because their music...it's just very different and you know how I like to be infatuated with things that not many people know about. Ah, yes, I'm listening to Florence + the Machine now. Hehe. It's like a breath of fresh air. Something new than all the rock stuff I listen to everyday.

I think I shall take a short nap now. Toodles!

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