Iman Nedhiera

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Intensely passionate about photography and other artsy fartsy farts. An avid nature-lover. Highly obsessed with sunny afternoons and evenings, funky-looking clouds, and sunsets. Deeply infatuated with all things old, vintage, and kitschy. Highly sentimental. An enthusiast in baking, photography, and music :)


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Monday, May 28
7:19 PM



Subhanallah. Sunsets never cease to amaze me. My sunset photos are always from the same spot, but that's only because I haven't had the chance to actually go to a place, somewhere high ground, to witness the unequivocal beauty of the sunset. God only knows when I'll actually have the chance to do that. Sigh.

Today's been good. Nothing extraordinary but it was all good. I felt grateful for waking up much, much earlier for my Subuh prayer, since all this while I've been waking up way past 6.30am just to pray hahah. My dad calls it 'Subuh gajah'. I dont understand. Haha.

I also got to kiss my mother goodbye before she left for work today. I like seeing my parents first thing in the morning.

I've been feeling constantly tired and short of breath for the past couple of days. Sometimes I'd get light-headed and my heart would beat faster. I dont know why. Probably that time of the month. It always happens.

I've also been neglecting my ultimate passion lately. Photography. It's been a while since I've touched the DSLR camera, let alone use it. My brother has left his DSLR here at home, and I doubt he'll take it back anytime soon bahaha. He has my Nikon digital camera anyway, the one that I won from a photography contest sometime ago. He hasn't even mentioned about taking back his camera nyehaha. Not that I'm complaining...I'd trade my digital camera for my brother's Nikon DSLR anytime ;D

Somehow I just can't wait to be enrolled in a university. I miss the thrill of learning new things, the satisfaction of getting an answer right and solving a complicated question, the (stressful) rush of studying for exams. I miss all those. But I guess I should just enjoy the time I have now, now that I'm not so busy...yet.

It's only Monday. But I feel so tired ._.

Maybe the fact that I haven't had a proper meal today also contributes to my lethargy.

I never have a proper meal during the day. Except dinner. I'm not on a diet, it's just that when I'm at work, food is the last thing that's on my mind. Often times I just get so lazy to eat that I head down to Boost for an energy drink. It's not good, but it does the job. I've been going there nearly everyday now until the boys working there already know me by name hahaha. Often times during lunchtime I'd sit on one of the chairs there and have a chat with them while I finish my drink. It's a nice way to de-stress myself from work. They make me laugh anyway. :)

So much work to do tonight. I yearn for my bed.



Saturday, May 26
12:32 PM

Hm. I like my Satria. With the cool red colour and the low seats and the extra bumpers at the front and sides and the beautiful sound of the engine as I accelerate...

But you know what would make my Satria so much cooler?

Really cool tyre rims! Like this one;



That's just so cool :o But they're very costly too :(

I've always liked the idea of driving a sporty car. Not stylish, just sporty. Like my Satria. Bahaha. I like that the exterior of the car doesn't look like as if a woman would drive it. I've asked my sister once if the Satria looks like a man's car, and she said yes! It'd give people the assumption that a man would be driving that car when in fact...it's a lady! Nyehaha. I feel safer that way somehow :)

The interior is free of any plush toys or pillows or ruffled knick knacks that are dead giveaways that the driver is a woman. And I'd like to keep it that way :)

Although the idea of driving an auto car seems highly tempting, I think I'd like to stick to driving a manual car instead and I wouldn't trade the Satria for another car. Controlling the car is a b*tch when there's traffic but oh well. I like challenges.



Thursday, May 24
11:09 PM



Hahaha. I had a good time laughing while watching this in the office today. The mine turtle with the squeaky voice saying "Hello!" is my favourite! I even made it as my SMS ringtone now hahaha.

I love the asdfmovie series!



7:17 PM



Good day today. Had a good lunch. While I was walking back up to my office I bumped into an elderly Chinese man who works in the same building as I do, and he complimented on my looks. He said I looked very nice today, even though I didnt even bother dressing up today and was as plain as I can be. That compliment just made my day...

Until someone told me to go jump off a cliff.

Bastard.



Wednesday, May 23
10:35 PM



I like this song. I love this band!

I feel like deactivating my Facebook account. Hm. Soon, maybe.

Goodnight.



Friday, May 18
7:42 PM

So uh, you know that moment when you're about to do something, but the voice inside your head warns you that it's a bad idea but you end up doing it anyway? And then you go about your day thinking grudgingly to yourself, 'You stupid retard!', and then suddenly you feel conscious of yourself and you feel like as if everyone's staring at you when they're actually not? Bahahah. I do. It's nothing much...I just bumped my car into a pillar today. It wasn't my first time -- teehee -- but I just hate it when I get very careless while I'm driving.

Obviously, my parking skills are anything BUT perfect. Oh I can drive alright, just my parking skills are...well, underdeveloped bahaha. I'm never parking next to a pillar again. At least, not for now while I'm still recovering from this morning's scare when I bumped the left rear of the Satria into a pillar.

So it left a dent and an unsightly scratch. I don't know why but I was just so devastated when I found what I'd done to the poor car. It wasn't that bad, but to me it was. Then I called my dad and told him about the dent, already in tears. Haha. What a baby. He sounded slightly upset, which made me even more upset, but I guess I deserved it nyahaha.

I spent a couple of hours in the office Googling for solutions on how to fix a dented car. One common household practice is by using a hair-dryer and a can of air duster. I saw some videos and found that they really worked, especially on the kind of dent that was inflicted upon my car. It looked fairly simple, so after lunch I headed out to a hardware store to find out how much a can of air duster would cost. Hahahahahaha not cheap, that's what I can tell you. I was on the verge of buying it, but I decided against it in the end. And I'm so grateful for that. Saved me 50 bucks.

I relied on the last resort...a plunger. And it somehow worked, I guess. When I got home from work today I immediately changed my clothes and looked around the house for a plunger. Then I cleaned off the excess dirt around the dented area, and I found that the scratch wasn't so bad after all. It only looked bad because of the white stuff -- paint, I presume -- lingering on it. Then I just used the plunger to 'suction' out the dent, and when I heard the sudden 'pop!' I was like, Alhamdulillah! The dent is still there though, but the suctioning took out most of the dent and it doesn't look so bad now. In fact, I don't even think its noticeable now!

Alhamdulillah.

On the other hand...........



Oho. Deep, so deep. I shall now pronounce this song as my lullaby :D



Thursday, May 17
10:10 PM



I hate this song. But Ellie Goulding's cover made me love it. I can never get enough of her music...and especially her voice! :'D



Wednesday, May 16
9:38 PM



The Temper Trap, I love you.

Great day today. Hung out with my girl friends, watched Dark Shadows, which was a really awkward movie. Johnny Depp was still dashing though. Went to the park and sat on the grass and all.

I can't think about my tertiary education anymore. On the brink of giving up and accepting whatever lands on my doorstep instead of fighting for what I really want.

I will now hibernate. Goodnight.

And now here's a quote from Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins in Dark Shadows; "You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!" Saying "kiss my ass", like a sir!



2:29 AM



This song's playing on loop on my phone now. Repeating it over and over coz I'm so addicted. I don't know why but this song makes me tear up. Not sure if they're tears of joy or tears of sadness nyehaha. There's just something about the rhythm that just gets to me.

2.30am. Whatever.



Tuesday, May 15
7:28 PM



I'm addicted to this band now. Their music is so refreshing, and it sounds like something my sister Kak Lea would listen to. It's so uplifting to listen to this song while I'm driving to the office and back.

I had a good day today. Had so much caffeiiiiiinnneeeeee!




Sunday, May 13
9:39 PM


So um, Miss Goulding, are you done giving us all goosebumps yet?

Good day today :)



Thursday, May 10
7:20 PM

I like the weather now. It's very, very cloudy. Very hazy, too. It feels rather dark and morbid, and it feels like as if the sky doesn't exist. Just a thick, foggy layer of clouds covering the top of our heads. It's chilly and it makes my eyes puffy and dry and it impairs my vision too.

I don't know why. But I just like it. The weather, I mean.

Currently I'm hooked to gothic, morbid rock bands like Cryoshell and Evanescence. I think the mood and feel of their music just goes well with what's going on in my head right now.

I can't think correctly anymore. Such a huge decision to be made and I just can't tell which one would be the best for me.

I just feel like completely shutting down and hibernate until my head's clear enough to function well again.



Wednesday, May 9
11:45 PM


Just another picture from Germany that I processed. Truly proud of it. Cryoshell's song "Falling" reminds me of this photo. 

I don't know why, but lately I've been deeply infatuated with dark, spooky, eerie photos like the one I processed above. What I've noticed from this kind of photo is that there's always a high contrast and although the colours are often almost monotone -- either sepia or monochrome --, the high contrast just gives you this deep and intense feel to the photo. And I'm curiously infatuated with that.

I planned to add a creepy crow somewhere at the side of the bench in this photo but after a deep thought I decided to omit it. The crow was too dark to be a part of the main focus of the photo. 

I'm proud of this picture :) And I hope to be able to edit more pictures just like this one.

Click the photo for its full resolution! (which isn't much but it's better than the 550px resolution here hahah)



Tuesday, May 8
11:24 PM



Addicted. I'm in love with this band.



Monday, May 7
8:30 PM

Had a good day today. Got a tiny pleasant surprise from a friend too :)

I got offered for Diploma in Actuarial Science at UiTM. It's not Architecture but...oh well.

Not sure if I should be excited or sad. If I accept the offer, I'll be either in Melaka or Tapah. We'll be reporting on June 3rd, if I'm not mistaken. Again, not sure if I should be excited or sad about that.

I know Melaka and Tapah aren't so far away but...it's so far away from everyone :'(



12:32 AM

I've been in bed for about an hour and a half now. I can't sleep.

Keep on thinking about that damn nightmare last night. Scumbag brain.



Sunday, May 6
6:49 AM


Woke up at 4am this morning after a terrifying nightmare. I tried to go back to sleep but I was just too traumatic to fall asleep again so I switched on my laptop and edited some photos. 

I am just in love with the creepy, eerie vibe of this photo. This is, by far, my proudest work of all time. For now, at least ;)

Click the photo for a higher resolution!



Saturday, May 5
10:57 PM

Major spring-cleaning with Kakcik today. We cleared out some stuff in the living area in front of our rooms and did some minor arrangements to make the space more cozy and homey.

It was a day full of dust and grime and sweat hahah. Eww. We dusted off every surface with a feather duster and when we did, a thick cloud of dust just flew off from those surfaces. It was just so dusty.

I cleaned my room as well. My sister and I both took out our curtains to have them washed. God knows when was the last time they were washed hahaha. After I took out my curtains, I dusted off all the dust that lingered on my window grills. I also cleaned the hideously dirty air-filters in my air-cond by dousing them with high-pressure water. Then I dusted off more dust from the tops of my closet, my dresser, and last but not least...the blades of my ceiling fan. Man were they dusty like crazy. The fan was covered with so much dust that large, thick clumps of dust bunnies were formed. Dust bunnies scare me. Haha I'm serious!

So then I went behind every furniture I have in my room and used the vacuum to suck up all that dust and grime that's been there for God knows how long. All that while I've been thinking, "So all this while I've been living in this much dust?!" Hahah. Damn.

Then I vacuumed my floor to get rid of all the dust and then I changed my bedsheet, my pillowcases and of course, my duvet cover. Vacuumed the floor again, wiped off all the dirt and grime from every surface, and then mopped the floor like an angry servant.

I think I'd outdone myself today. My back is so sore and so are the soles of my feet. But my room is super super clean now, with all that dust gone, and my room smells like the freshly washed sheets on my bed. I guess it's worth the effort. The living area in front of my room is clean, too. All thanks to Kakcik and I! She mostly did all the sorting and organizing, but I did the vacuuming and mopping hehe.

It took us about two hours to clear the living room. But it took me nearly six hours to get everything done, including the vacuuming and mopping of the living room. My sister had an event to attend so she had to rush into things. But most of the work was done anyway, and all that was left was just the vacuuming and mopping. By the time I was completely done, I was covered in so much dust and grime that I felt so dirty and stinky. Some honest sweaty odour permeated from myself and it was awful hahah. But it was worth all that trouble. The upstairs living area and my room are super clean now!

So I celebrated my success of fully cleaning my room by taking a 45-minute shower. Man did that feel good.

On the downside, my sister and I will have to sleep without our curtains for the next few days. The curtains still haven't been washed and I don't know when they will be ready to be put up again. Drying them would take a lot of time since the material is very thick. And I'm pretty sure our washing machine won't be able to withstand all that fabric in one go, so we'll have to wash our curtains in batches. Sigh. Try having super large tall windows in your room without having any curtains on. It's anything BUT pleasurable.

Oh well. At least my room's cleaner than clean now. Even the whirring of the fan sounds cleaner too! :D



Friday, May 4
11:37 PM

I like where I am today and I'm glad to have met the people I've met over the past four months. But please, I just want my school life back.



12:27 AM

Just a random post.

I was just about to fall asleep listening to Cryoshell, a band I listened to during one of my hard times last year. But then this some song came up and I suddenly teared up, remembering one of my good friends in school who was so loyal to me that I remember myself crying when I told her, on the last final day before SPM, how much I appreciated all that she's done for me.

I remember her trying to back me up when I was slowly straying away from my prefect duties. I remember her telling me what people have been saying and thinking about me at that time, and how she believed they were all lies just because she believed those negative comments didn't suit me. I remember her trying to help me patch things up with my ex-best friends. I remember her being honest with me and telling me every single bit of the truth concerning the problem I was facing with at that time. And of course I remember when she tried her ever best to explain to me what the heck the solenoid is all about, on one of our last days of school before SPM. And it was because of her that I truly understood the solenoid haha.

I just feel bad that all this while I never really kept in touch with her. She was truly a gem, and I really miss her.

I miss my other school friends, too.

I just wanna turn back time and be back in school like the old days. I'm deprived of social interactions with my friends and I just miss them a lot. Everyone's gone their separate ways now and they rarely respond to my messages now.

I just wish things can go back to how they were, back when I was in school. You might think that life after SPM would be sooooooo much fun, which in a way it is, but that occasional sense of loneliness you get when you're suddenly feeling nostalgic of your schooling days... I'd give up my freedom to go back.

:'(



Thursday, May 3
7:13 PM

Alhamdulillah. My driving was smoother today :) Hoping it'll be even smoother in the times to come.

Good day. 'twas a really good day indeed :)



Wednesday, May 2
11:39 PM

I hate how I carry myself sometimes. It's been going on quite frequently these past few days, the self-hate part I mean. And I hate how ignorant and cold and selfish I can get, whenever I'm having one of those crappy days. Like today. But I'm trying my best to change that. I'm trying my best to constantly improve myself as a person, day by day.

What is wrong? I'm so much better than this.



6:45 PM

Alhamdulillah. First time driving to work and back alone all by myself, without my dad in the passenger seat next to me, today, and everything went well.

I'm hoping tomorrow will be the same. InshaAllah.



12:12 AM

So, today I've been seeing some photos of CBN's Hari Anugerah Cemerlang this year, uploaded by some of the current seniors of the school now. And looking at those photos just struck me that I won't ever get to experience those kinds of moments again, where I was constantly involved in the school events as a prefect and of course, simply as a CBNer.

A lot of reminiscing has been going on a lot today. Just a few moments ago I was browsing through my photo albums, and I came across a few that contain my memories of being in high school. All the crazy photos I took with my friends, all those precious moments caught on camera... I just realized that nothing can ever replace the memories, and the people, I had back in high school.

As of right now I just wish I can just put on my school uniform (or my prefect uniform, hehe) and go back to school. Back when I was a fifth former last year, one of my prefect duties was to raise the school flag when the school song was being sung during the morning Monday assemblies. And I miss that. I miss having to wear that uncomfortable prefect blazer under the blazing hot sun and I miss having to make sure my collar was buttoned and my necktie fit snugly around it. I miss wearing those goddamn heels and having sore feet by the time I got home from school. 

I miss those mornings when we had to assemble in the tennis court before heading to class, and how we had to stand for such a long period of time just listening to the teachers making tons of announcements. I miss the sound of the heavy wooden doors of the classrooms being opened once the students have reached their classrooms. I miss those mornings when it felt very chilly but very humid outside, and our desks would be covered with a thick layer of water vapour. I miss having to quickly grab my books from the locker in time before my BM teacher Pn Aizan reached our classroom, or else she'd be maaaad haha. I miss how I'd get so sticky and hot with sweat by the time I got to class after concluding my hectic prefect duties. I miss how whenever I looked out my classroom, the whole of CBN is in view from the corridor that overlooked the school compound. I miss going out to the back corridor of my classroom and just hang there, gazing out at the beautiful view of the rainforest just a few meters away from reach!

I miss the school canteen (not the food, no!) and how I used to hangout with my classmates at our canteen table. I miss having to stay back after school hours to attend my extra-curricular club meetings. I miss having to wear that thick KRS uniform on every Wednesday and I miss how much fun it was whenever I attended the KRS meetings.

Ah, I can still remember this one time, during our extra-curricular activities on Wednesday, when us scouts and rangers had to assemble at the College Field (which is like, RIGHT NEXT TO THE RAINFOREST!) for some activity. The activity that we had was on survival skills, where we had to bring our own rice grains and cook them in actual bamboo sticks. We also made bread! The dough was prepared by some of the female teachers, so our job was only to grab a stick that the teachers provided and weave a chunk of the bread dough around it, and we had to cook that dough in the remnants of a bonfire. It really felt like being in an actual camping site, with the rainforest next to us, instead of just being in the school field. I remember going home that day reeking of smoke from the bonfire, but it was worth all that fun I had with my friends.

I also miss conducting lab experiments in the school lab with my desk mates. I miss being amazed at the results of our lab experiments, especially during Chemistry when all those solutions turned from colourless to blue and so on.

Hmm, what else do I miss?

Oh yes, how can I forget the religious activities we had! I miss those times during Ramadhan, while the non-Muslim girls were having their break in the school canteen, us Muslim girls had to assemble in the hall in our tudung and listen to the ustazah telling us stories about our Nabi Muhammad s.a.w., about the famous figures and leaders in our ancient Islamic history, and also giving short lectures and words of inspiration, etc. I miss our school's solat hajat last year, and I remember thinking how everything just felt so beautiful that night.

There are many, many other things that I miss about school, but the one thing that I really miss is the ability to see my crazy classmates, who're also my friends, every single day, and how their presence provided companionship whenever I felt down and lonely. And I can never forget how they always supported me throughout my crazy year as a senior in CBN, no matter how big or small their support was.

At this point tears are already rolling down my cheeks now. I really wish I can just turn back time and relive all those precious memories, bitter with hurt and pain and anger, but sweet with happiness, joy, and excitement.

I wish I can just take a day off and visit my school again, to relive how it felt like just by being there. Hmm, maybe I shall do just that, one day.

On the other hand, I can't wait to start university. That's something to look forward to :)


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