I don't know why, but I feel like I should post this.

Oh wait, I DO know why I should post this. I shall keep the reason to myself.

But anyway, at this age, being in a relationship with someone isn't something I look forward to. I've had my heart broken many times, and it was awful. I know how it feels like, and I don't want that feeling again. At least not for now.

Right now my main focus is my education, and my relationship with Allah. I want to get good grades snd become an all-rounder so I can land a job at a successful company, and InshaAllah become a successful woman as well.

You know that phrase, 'You Only Live Once'? YOLO, they call it. Well, since I only have one life to live, I wanna make sure I have a purpose for being here. Which means that I want to become a successful woman who can provide a decent home for her future husband and future kids. And the only way I can achieve that is to work hard NOW. I need to do inexplicably well in university so I can land myself a decent job sometime in the future, earn a stable income, and hopefully be able to help my parents financially and morally in times of hardship.

Of course, to do well in university, distractions are a no-no. And judging by my precious experience in being in a relationship, I got really distracted from my main priorities. I don't want that now. I don't need that now. I need to focus on one thing and one thing only. 4-flat all the way up to my degree. Or if I get the chance, all the way up to my masters.

Which means that long-period texting; big no-no. Late-night hours-long phone calls; no-no. Relationships; bigger no-no!

I wouldn't mind being friends with the opposite gender (although it's not something I would chase after), but to be in a relationship with someone at this stage of life, it's not a good time.

Inevitably, there'll be crushes along the way. But like my sister said, a crush is a crush and you can't really expect much from it. My sister thinks that as long as you're friends with those concerned (your crush), that should be enough. I think so too. I try not to get myself involved in situations that can easily get me heartbroken. And that's why I think that if I can't be the girlfriend of my crush (whoever it may be), so be it. Being friends is just enough. Friendships can last forever if you're really optimistic about it, and if it gets broken along the way, chances are it can be fixed. And even if those friendship bonds are really severely damaged, at least the impact of losing someone wouldn't be as great. But relationships are something that's really fragile. It can last up till the end of time if both parties are passionately working on it, but once it's really broken, chances are it can't be fixed. It's like taking a glass vase and watching it crash and shatter into a million pieces just by letting it fall to the ground. And lo and behold, you've just lost a soul who've once meant the whole world to you.

Friendship over relationship. That's the way I choose to live.

Maybe I don't need/want a boyfriend now. But who cares. I get enough moral support from my family and close friends to keep me going. I'm just not the type who'd hook up with someone just for the fun of it. I openly accept the fact that I'm old-fashioned, out of date perhaps, but to me this is something I take as a serious matter. I wouldn't want my future husband to have a wife who's had so many lovers in the past. That's not very nice now, is it?

Perhaps I'm thinking too much too soon. But hey, I care about my future.