Hi, Hello.

2012-02-10T23:39:00.003+08:00

My Formspring is active again. I'm curious to see what kind of questions I'd get. Flying off to Singapore tomorrow noon.

2012-02-08T20:30:00.001+08:00

Today feels like a long day. Incredibly unproductive. Exhausted, drained. Unappreciated. Lack of appetite becomes more severe day by day. I know there are children in poverty out there who scarcely get to lay their hands on a proper meal, but lately the sight of food makes my stomach churn in an unpleasant way...and it's not hunger. I keep feeling like I need to throw up. With my growing lack of appetite lately, I think it must be gastric. I know I sound ungrateful. But I'm not. Believe me, I'm not even liking this appetite of mine that's slowly diminishing. It results in me becoming so tired and so I rely on energy drinks to keep me going. I know, it's not good. It's bad. I've been finishing my meals very rarely, so I opt for smaller portions whenever I have my meals. And my portions are really getting smaller each day. And no, I'm not becoming anorexic. I don't intend to lose weight. My appetite just hasn't been with me for the past few days and it's not like I wanna lose weight drastically like those anorexics you see on TV. I like my weight.

Self-love. That's one of the major things I've learned so far this year. And I certainly am sure that putting myself in devoid of proper meals isn't included in self-love.

I guess sometimes, or rather most of the time in my case now, I'm just too tired to eat. So many things going on that it's draining me out.

Anyway, enough of all that negativity. I know I've just turned seventeen three months ago, but in nine months I'm turning eighteen. I'll be legal. An adult. And now that I barely get to spend time with my family and friends lately, that pretty much leaves me standing alone on my own two feet. I can't rely on anyone anymore. People will start treating me like an adult. It might not be now, but I want to make sure that by the time people start taking me seriously, I'll be one step ahead of them. I'm using the time I have now to get rid of all the negative vibes that have been building up for the past few months. Cleanse myself of any pessimism, cruelty, and low expectations. Purify my soul with more religious activities and a positive mind. Become more matured than how people my age would normally act like.

Im using the time I have now to prepare myself for the future. To be fully equipped with top-notch qualities of an intelligent young woman once I step into university so that no one and nothing can break me just like how many did back when I was in school.

Speaking of universities, I cant wait to be back in school. I can honestly say that I miss studying. I miss going into a classroom and be taught with what the teachers have to teach. Discussing tough questions with my peers and occasionally voicing out what I know about the discussed topic. I'm happy at work, but really, the only thing I want right now is to get my badonkey back in school. I want to learn what I want to learn. I want to meet people, make new friends, and engage myself in an environment that can keep me occupied. I haven't done a thorough research on the colleges/universities I want to go to but as far as I'm concerned the next intake would be September. That's a long way to go and I'm not sure I can sustain myself in my daily routine of going to work that long. I need my education.

I really miss equipping my brain with knowledge. I guess I should've applied for the January intake but back then I was too caught up with the thought of getting my driving license and getting a job to occupy my weekdays. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I want to get into a university and learn!

Back when I was in school I didn't really score good grades. They were either average or slightly higher and the only subjects I managed to score were maths and English. I can't say I wasn't very bright/intelligent, because i don't believe that I'm dumb. To me, there are many ways of being bright and intelligent and it's not just being highly educated. Anyway, I was educated enough. It's just that I was lazy and I took things for granted. And that has resulted in me not getting excellent results like how everyone else did. Which led to the constant disappointment my parents had to endure just because I didn't get good grades.

At one point I realized that I want all that to change. I can't be the lazy irresponsible teenager anymore. My parents are getting old, and they might not be able to stick around for a long time now (which I really hope not!) My father turns 62 this year and my mother turns 58. And here I am still at seventeen, still not in university. I still have a long time before I graduate from university and I want my parents to still be around, alive and well, to see me graduate and know that there's a bright future ahead of me. There's a small part of me that keeps on saying that they might not (which I hope not) be around, and the only way I can show them that I do have the basis of becoming successful like my siblings is to study hard in university and score excellent grades throughout the years to come. I will keep trying and fighting to achieve this tough but not impossible goal of mine. I've never really made my parents proud of my grades. I want to know how it feels like. And insyaAllah I'll be given another chance to do so. And that chance lies in me being accepted into a university. I pray and hope that my parents will still be around when I graduate from university...and when I get married too. Haha! Dang.

I hope that one day I will become the person I yearn to be; very matured, intelligent, bright, and inspiring. I really hope so. And the only way I can get there is by starting now. By instilling positive values and develop top-notch qualities in myself. There will be people who will try to bring me down, but I won't let them. I've been through enough to know that it's all a matter of the way you think. Interpret an obstacle with a negative mind and you'll end up worse. But override an obstacle with a positive mind and you'll end up being the better person you'd have never even thought to be. There will be times when I stumble and fall down, but all I have to do to keep on going is to get up and move forward.

This is one of those posts where I simply write whatever comes to mind. It's relieving, to be honest. Haha.

I am Iman Nedhiera and I believe in myself.

2012-02-08T03:41:00.001+08:00

I should be sleeping but Photoshop got the best of me. So far these are the photos from Hatyai that I've processed :)

My mother loves this one :)

More to come :)

2012-02-08T00:23:00.001+08:00

Just got back from a wonderful trip to Hatyai. Tired. Exhausted, mentally and physically. Very satisfied with my purchases and the photos I shot there! Sacrificing a couple hours of my sleep to process some photos. Yay! Can't wait to share them :)

2012-02-04T16:46:00.001+08:00

To be a part of a team, to be working with the team, is simply one of the most satisfying things in life that I never want to let go of. I've been working in my brother-in-law's web design company, Bake 180, for four weeks now, and within that time period I've managed to come up with a few minor designs (mostly slider images) that have been published for everyone to see. It's fascinating and satisfying. I mean, you're part of a team, and as a team member you contribute by sacrificing your time and energy to complete the task you've been given. And to see the results laid out in front of you for you and everyone else to see, I mean, there just isn't a better reward.

This is the kind of job that I pray and hope to have in the future. A job that enables me to see the result of my contribution to the team for everyone to see. It's not pride and it's not showing off, it's self-satisfaction. And self-satisfaction is something that comes with loving yourself. And one of the most important things I've learned this year is to love myself. It's not about being vain, it's not about being narcissistic, it's about having that strong sense of respect and confidence in oneself. And by being a part of a team, by occasionally showcasing my designs (even though they're never specifically credited, which is absolutely fine by me) through certain websites on the internet, that's how I develop the respect and confidence within myself.

I just love my job. And that equals to one of the major components in happiness :)

Bliss. Alhamdulillah. Leaving for Hatyai in a few hours :)

2012-01-30T22:09:00.001+08:00

I know I promised a (long) post, but I've been very occupied with work and other things lately. Blogging during working hours is a definite no-no, unless I really don't have anything else to do there. And by the time I get home from work I'm just so exhausted that I just wanna change into my jammies and hop on to bed. There's not much to blog about anyway. Plus, i dont really go on the internet for social purposes that much anymore. I'm still on Facebook, but only to keep in touch with my siblings. I abandoned my Twitter account because there's just so much hate going on there and I just wanna keep a low profile and I really don't see the need for me to tweet about whatever I'm doing/feeling/etc. I don't see myself blogging and writing everything about my life that much in the future either. Even if i do I'd most probably post and share the things that I like, or photos that I took on a vacation or something. I'll just be writing less and less about the happenings in my life. For now, at least.

I'm really enjoying work. The people there are so friendly and funny and they always make me laugh hahah. I have a feeling that this week is gonna be a hectic one, what with my driving lessons before/after work. I'm looking forward to this weekend though. I'll be going to Hatyai with my parents and my sister. Yay!

I'm very content with my life now at the moment. I'm just grateful for everything. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah :)

2012-01-23T01:12:00.001+08:00

I really need to change the awkwardly awkward main photo on my blog (scroll up) and write more here. Lol, i'm working on it. I've been so busy with work and other things that I don't really have time to write. Hahaaa I'll write up a post soon. I've got so much to share and I'm excited about what's coming up in the next few weeks! Till then, see you on my next post! (it's gonna be a long one, trust me. *evil laugh*)

2012-01-16T00:36:00.001+08:00

Hello.

I can't wait for the weekend to come. Driving lessons on Friday and Saturday morning, a weekend getaway with my parents and sisters, and a bonding time with my best friend on Monday.

Really can't wait for the company of my beloved ones :)

2012-01-13T23:34:00.005+08:00

I snapped this photo while I was on a plane to Miri, Sarawak, for my brother's wedding. That was like, months ago hahah. I really love this photo. I have to say, this is one of the best photos I've ever shot/edited :)

And here's another shot in Miri as well. I shot this outside of our hotel/resort on my brother's wedding night. I *love* sunsets! No, wait, I think a more proper word would be obsessed! I'm obsessed with sunsets (and the sun, and the sun rays, and funky-looking clouds, and sunny evenings, and yeah you get the point).

These are actual fire that I snapped outside the hall where my brother's wedding ceremony was held. The right one looks like a jalapeno pepper! Lol. It appears to seem that the fire is casting a shadow on a maroon background, but actually that's just an effect caused by some water vapour on the lens I used. The relative temperature between the hall and the outdoors was so drastic that water vapour started to form on the camera and the lens hahah. And thus, the "shadow" effect, as I'd call it, happened :)

Lately I've been browsing through some inspirational websites where they showcased many mesmerizing photos of, well, anything and everything. Right now I'm pumped up to go out just about anywhere just to take pictures, but sadly I can't get my hands on a DSLR for now :( Oh well. When I finally do get the chance to get hold of a DSLR then I'll start snapping away! Recently I've been infatuated with light-painting, so I've made it my next mission to achieve. Basically it's just taking pictures of light coming from a source that's moving around, with a very long exposure. Since I've never tried light-painting before, I think I'm just going to try something simple before I start creating more light-painting photos. And I guess the simplest way to do it for now would be to stand on on a bridge on a highway, prop the camera on a tripod, and let the long exposure/high shutter speed do the work. Hopefully, if I do get to try it out, my photos would look something like this;

And here's another one. This is far more advanced, I guess. The light appearing in the form of a matchstick figurine in the picture is anything but photoshop-ed. Someone really did draw the matchstick figurine in the air, with a light source pointing towards the camera. It's pretty cool and I'm dying to try it :)

Anyway...you can view a larger version of my photos that I posted on my Flickr :)

2012-01-12T23:34:00.004+08:00

Ah, that...is an amazing song. I love the short instrumental at the beginning of the song, before the singer screams THIS IS FOR THOSE WHO WAAAAAAAIIIITTTTT! Hahah. It's a great opening song for their new album, For Those Who Wait. Love it love it love it! I've been infatuated (again) with this band recently. I used to listen to them back when I was 14, but after a while I got bored and moved on to another artist/playlist. I got bored with the songs I've been listening to lately so I decided to search up on the artists/bands I used to listen to when I was younger, just to see if they've come up with any new albums. And what do you know, Fireflight came up with one! And it's by far my favourite album among the rest of their albums.

Anyhow, it's been pretty hectic nowadays. Alhamdulillah, my bro-in-law got me a job at his web-design firm, Bake 180, and this week is only my second week there. To be honest, I really do love my job and I like it there. The office is right above a newly-opened shopping mall, with a number of boutique stores and a few good restaurants. My job is pretty simple, actually. It just requires me to sit down in front of my laptop and tend to the work I've been assigned haha. I haven't been doing much design work ever since I started working there, most of the time I'm just collecting samples of navigation bars, headers, footers, logos, and other stuff that you can find on different kinds of websites. So basically I'm just doing some archiving, which is pretty simple. Phew! *wipes forehead* I did have quite a handful of design work though. Last week I did a couple of banners for the website of Malaysia's Seventeen Magazine, and they're up now! Hehe. So far this week I've done a couple more banners for Female Magazine's website, and a couple of infographics.

Tadaaaa! The ones in colour are the ones that I designed last week hehehe. Err, the image is pretty tiny, but the real thing can be found here :)

So far work is alright, I guess. I'm still trying to adjust myself to the long working hours, but so far I'm all good. I'm really enjoying my job at my bro-in-law's web-design firm. There's no such thing as being formal there! Haha. The designers and interns there are all very friendly and they're very laid back. Even the bosses (like my bro-in-law) are pretty laid back too! Most of them show up at work wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Some wear sneakers, and some even wear flip flops, too! You'd never know that they're employees of a company by the way they dress. They're that laid back, and I'm pretty thankful for that hahah. If they'd stressed so much on the dress code, I think I'd be having a hard time trying to find the proper clothes to wear to go to work. It's not like I have that many formal clothes anyway haha. And the best part is that I'm doing actual web-design work! At seventeen! Well, not yet, at least, but I've been told that I will soon enough. I don't think I'll be designing the whole website (crazy!) but I'm fine with just designing the minor components of any website. So basically it's like I'm part of the team, instead of just the boss's secretary. Ngehehe.

The location is pretty good, too. It's directly above a newly-opened shopping mall, so during lunchtime I can just drop by the MPH Bookstore there and browse through some books, or just walk around the compound and look through the boutique stores there. Because it's a newly-opened shopping mall, there aren't many people there, which I love! I guess it's safe to say I'm pretty happy there. I love my job, the pay is good, and right now I'm just thankful for everything. Alhamdulillah.

I've been very fatigued lately. I'm still trying to adjust to the working hours and I guess my body is going through some sort of a shock, since I haven't been up so early and be out of the house that much ever since SPM ended. But the great thing about having a job is that it feels as if time flies by very fast. It feels like yesterday was just Sunday, but lookie now, it's already Thursday! And tomorrow is a Friday! And then, weekeeeeend! More me-time for me :)

I really can't wait for the weekends to come! I might possibly go out of town with my dad and sis next weekend for a wedding, and the two weekends after that I might be out of the country with my parents. I plan to go to Singapore again sometime in February to spend some more quality time with my sister there. The last time I visited her she was so busy that on most days I had to find things to do by myself hahah. I think the only time we actually had some quality time together was on my last night in Singapore. She brought me out window-shopping -- at the same time yapping on about how I should change the way I dress, but of course, I denied her statement hahah. Then she bought me a bag of Garrett's popcorn before heading to a Japanese restaurant for dinner. Thanks to her, she made my last night of staying in Singapore a memorable one :)

Ah, yes, and I can't wait for Chinese New Year! Not that I'm celebrating or anything but...my long lost best friend is coming over for a visit! Hehe. I just made it sound like she lives far away, didn't I? Oh wait, she does, hahah. She lives in Setiawangsa. Which is like...on the other side :| But I'm really excited that she's coming over! It's been a while since I've seen Atasha lately. The last time we saw each other was like...end of November. Lol. I really hope she can come. It's been a while since I've had a proper chat with her and I miss it :(

Moving on to March, hopefully if all goes well, I'll be heading off to Germany and then to France with my mother. We're not really going just for fun, actually. Since my mother is a school principal, she's following her choir team members and some of the teachers to Germany for some choir program, I think. I have no idea. Haha. But I'm really excited about it and I really hope it'll happen. InsyaAllah. I've always wanted to travel to Europe. I can't wait to snap so many beautiful photos there and the best part is, I get to spend more time with my mother! :D

I guess, for now, life's good. Alhamdulillah. I'm finally gathering up the bits and pieces of my life where I left off after going through a lot of emotional setbacks. My mind and emotions have been all over the place, and so were my mood swings. But that's nothing some quality family-time can't cure! I can't wait to spend more time with my family and my best friend :)

2012-01-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

PUT ON YOUR EARPHONES/HEADPHONES. PUT THIS SONG ON FULL VOLUME. CRANK UP THE BASS. FEEL THE ADRENALINE PULSING THROUGH YOUR VEINS. THE DETERMINATION, THE ENERGY, LET THEM RUN THROUGH YOU LIKE AN ELECTRIC JOLT. FEEL IMMENSELY POWERFUL. NEVER LET OTHER PEOPLE BRING YOU DOWN AGAIN.

BE INDEPENDENT. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, AND YOU ARE GREAT. STAY STRONG!

2012-01-11T01:29:00.001+08:00

I don't trust anyone.

2012-01-10T15:40:00.000+08:00

HAHAAAAA surprised? ;)

2012-01-09T19:43:00.007+08:00

This and a hilarious chat followed by another series of whale-ing around with my luuuuurvely (puih) Singaporean sister made my day hahah. Baby whales :')

2012-01-09T02:35:00.002+08:00

You know what I miss? 2011's Ramadhan and Eid. I would be going to school and later get so tired when I got home that I would, most of the time, zonk out on my bed. I would be waiting for my father to come home from the Ramadhan bazaar with lots of mouthwatering foods and desserts and we would have dinner together once we heard the Azan during Maghrib. We would be heading straight to the mosque as soon as we were done with our Isya' prayers to carry on with Tarawih. We would listen to the Imam's beautiful and melodious voice as he recited some verses from the Quran as we did our Tarawih prayers. Ah and the smell of the mosque...was just wonderful. I dont know why, but each time I entered that mosque, there's just this wonderful scent that just wafts into my nostrils and I liked it. And I would feel so happy and enlightened and weightless the moment I stepped into the mosque in my telekung. And there was this one night when everything just felt so surreally beautiful that I literally teared up at the mosque while doing my Tarawih prayers with my parents, and the Imam's voice was so beautiful as he conveyed the beauty of the Quran to us all. And then on our last Tarawih for the year, the whole family was around and everyone went to the mosque for Tarawih. We then lingered around in this small hall at the mosque, where they served teh tarik and other local desserts. The men and women were separated (obviously) and we sat cross-legged on the rattan mats that were provided in the hall, and we chatted amongst ourselves as we sipped our glasses of teh tarik and ate some local desserts.

And on the last day of Ramadhan us ladies would sit in the kitchen, helping our mother prepare rendang ayam and rendang daging and other typical Hari Raya delicacies. We'd be busy peeling off onion skins and chopping and slicing shallots and lemongrass and other ingredients. And those of us who handled the onions would have to suffer the occasional merciless stings in the eyes from slicing and chopping the onions too much. The house would be alive with those colourful twinkling lights that either my father or brother would usually put up around the house. The dining table in the dining hall would be covered with lacy cotton and on top of that would be jars of Raya cookies all lined up neatly, and the thingymabobs that would hold the dishes and bowls of delicious homemade Raya food that would be served the next day.

2011's Ramadhan felt extra special. I managed to attend Tarawih nearly everyday and I just felt really good and happy and grateful that whole month. I can still remember the time when nearly the whole family sat in the living room on the 2nd last night of Ramadhan, watching Paranormal Activity 2 together.

I would bring back 2011's Ramadhan if I could. So many great memories.......

2012-01-09T00:41:00.002+08:00

I know I just turned 17 two months ago but I can't help but to be amazed at the fact that I'm turning 18 this year. LEGAL, BABY! LEGAL! WOOHOOOOOOOO!

Hahahahahahahah k.

2012-01-02T23:31:00.001+08:00

I feel like it's been a while since I've written a really long post.

Anyhow, happy new year to everyone. Let us all fill in our new year's resolutions and become a better person and yadi yadi yada. Whatever.

I had a wonderful New Year's Eve with Kakcik and Abg Afif. At the beginning of the day I was led to believe that I was doomed to spend my NYE all by myself at home haha. But later that evening I found out Kakcik was going to The Curve, so I decided to follow her. Initially I'd planned to go wander around The Curve alone by myself but in the end I stuck with Kakcik and Abg Afif haha. They took me out for an early dinner at Ikea, where I decided to have the Gravad Lax (the cured salmon with some salad and sauce to go with it) instead of the meatballs. Then we talked about some things, and eventually I opened up to them about some stuff. They listened on and gave a lot of meaningful advice, and there were times when I felt the waterworks coming and I had to fight the urge from suddenly bursting into tears in public haha.

After that we just walked around Ikea, took pictures here and there, laughed here and there, and basically I just had lot of fun with my sister and her boyfriend. It was just a casual outing, but I have to say it was one of the best outings I've ever had and I'm really grateful to them for having me crash their date haha. The whole day on NYE that day I was mostly at home by myself. I had a short lunch with my mum and that's when I realized that I've missed her. Sadly she had an appointment to attend so there was just me and Kakcik at home. We did our own things at home. I decided to play the piano since I haven't touched that thing for so long haha. Then I just lingered in the front living area of the house near the small fish tank, lying on the sofa and staring into space. At that moment I felt really pathetic, because I was all alone by myself on NYE and everyone else had plans. But thankfully Kakcik invited me out, so I had a really good NYE. We didn't stay for the fireworks though, since we hated the massive crowd there and there were weird-looking dudes and chicks who stared at us like as if we have two heads on our shoulders or something :/

The two people who made my day :')

Myself. And Kakcik. DOUBLE TROUBLE :o

Lately the sun's been up again and I'm so grateful. I've been dreading the cloudy/rainy weather because it's been going on for so long and I just missed the majestic glow of the sun and the heat of it all. Yesterday I had a really good evening. I managed to bake another batch of my chocolate meringue cupcakes, complete with a drizzle of chocolate ganache over them, and the sun was out. So after I was done baking and cleaning up the kitchen, I took my handy iPhone, which is currently my makeshift DSLR (haha), and went out to the garden just to snap some photos of the garden and the sky and whatnot. I was really happy that the sun was out and the weather was just lovely. It was wonderful. I leaned my head back, closed my eyes and inhaled the occasional evening breeze as it wafted into the garden and I was the happiest girl ever. The air was so fresh, and somehow, even though I felt sticky and sweaty from the heat, it just felt so right. I rarely get that kind of evening nowadays, especially now, since I'm starting work tomorrow.

This will forever be my favourite view from the garden of my house. This picture somehow holds a lot of memories :')

I've also been updating my Instagram a lot hahah. I just can't help myself! Instagram is literally the best photography companion I've ever had. And to top it all off, the camera on my phone is just as good as any normal compact camera. I mean, I don't get to lay my hands on a DSLR for now but the camera on my phone just works wonders!

Today was also a very memorable day too. I've been up since 7.30am and I spent the whole morning and afternoon with my siblings, except Kak Lea since she's in Singapore :( But I had so much fun today! I followed my siblings to get their Visas done since they're traveling to India soon, and after that we had brunch at Sri Paandi's somewhere near my house and that's when my mum joined in. After that my mum had to go off for her meeting, so the rest of us drove off to Kak Intan and Abg Ike's new apartment to see their renovation progress and the apartment is beautiful! We chilled and cooled ourselves off from the hot weather by having some ice-cold drinks by the swimming pool. It was nothing fancy, we just sat at a round table next to the swimming pool and had some drinks haha. I had root beer! Yummm. Then we went to Amcorp Mall to get Kakcik's huge backpack for her trip to India and then we got home. It was a tiring day since we went to many places, but it was enjoyable and definitely memorable nonetheless. It's not often that we get to spend time together like how we did today.

And of course, I managed to come across some photo ops so I took out my iPhone and began snapping away! They're all on my Instagram but...I just feel like sharing.

The Christmas decorations at The Curve on NYE.

How can you NOT love sunny mornings like this? I mean, look at how blue the sky is!

The view from the front door of Kak Intan and Abg Ike's new apartment. Amazing!

The gazebo in the garden of my house. Sunny morning. Very sunny.

This was shot when my siblings and I were cooling off at the pool, sipping ice-cold canned sodas. Mmm.

Aaaaand I also cooked dinner tonight, using my mother's recipe. Hehehehe okay I'll stop writing now.

2011-12-31T01:00:00.000+08:00

When you feel unappreciated and you feel spoiled rotten and suddenly the world isn't as friendly as it seems.

2011-12-30T19:20:00.003+08:00

I long for more days like this; when it's bright and sunny outside, the clouds are randomly scattered everywhere in the sky, and you can see the blueness of the sky when you look up instead of a huge blanket of white clouds blocking the sun's glory. I desperately want the sun again.

Anyway, my L license will most probably be done in a week, insyaAllah. Today I attended my remaining 3-hour practical class at the driving school and basically the instructor just showed me which parts of the car I should always check everyday. And during the last hour, the instructor taught me basic driving! I'm not sure if that was part of the class as well, but since I've had no experience in getting behind the wheel, he showed me the steps to handle the car. It was so cool!

So basically I was taught how to drive a manual car. Like how to change gears, when to press and release the clutch, control the steering wheel. I struggled at first, but I was exceptionally calm haha. There were times when I released the clutch in one go when I was supposed to release the clutch slowly and steadily, so as a result the engine died a few times and I had to restart the car again. I finally got the hang of it all after a few rounds around the circuit and gradually, I started getting used to the coordination of my hands and legs to control the car. It was pretty easy, I suppose, but then again it was just basic driving. I still haven't learned the three-point-turn, side parking, etc. But at least now I know how to drive a little :)

2011-12-30T01:44:00.001+08:00

An Instagram-ed iPhone snapshot.

2011-12-29T19:15:00.001+08:00

Made some chocolate-cinnamon meringue cupcakes today. Grateful that they turned out perfectly! One of my biggest fears in baking is when you have to deeply whip egg whites until it appears creamy and stiff peaks are formed. Haha. It takes a lot of precision because if there's a bit of water on your utensils or there's a drop of egg yolk in the egg whites, they won't turn out how they should be :(

Thankfully my baking this time is a success! The recipe calls for a drizzle of chocolate ganache over those cupcakes but I omitted it haha. Too lazy. Plus, I like how the cupcakes look like with those cracks on top hahah.

Planning to bake more of these soon when my sister from Singapore and brother and sis-in-law from Miri return home. Weeeee :)

2011-12-29T04:11:00.000+08:00

4am popcorn snack ♥

2011-12-28T01:38:00.000+08:00

Admiring my new phone casing and feeling whimsical and artsy in pigtails, shorts, knee-length socks and an over-sized t-shirt. Liiiiiiiiiiife.

2011-12-27T22:29:00.003+08:00

"Wanita yang cantik itu adalah wanita yang tak jemu menuntut ilmu." -- Wardina. This woman is so inspiring :')

2011-12-27T14:11:00.001+08:00

I love this! I think red and dark chartreuse or olive green go really well together.

2011-12-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

This is probably my third post of the day (who the heck cares) but.....

I need my daily dose of my 5K Klassmates. I swear. Lately I've been lazing around at home that it's driving me nuts. I need to go out. See people. See my friends! I miss talking to them and laughing like mad monkeys with them. I really want to see them again but apparently no one's available :(

I really can't recall when was the last time I laughed really, REALLY hard. Like, SUPER HARD until my cheeks burn and my stomach aches. I miss that feeling.

Haih. If you think life after SPM is a bed of roses, well, it's not for everyone. Definitely not for me.

2011-12-26T19:38:00.001+08:00

Mama in her twenties looking gorgeous and beautiful in her vintage kebaya. The kebaya's in my closet now ;)

2011-12-26T10:45:00.001+08:00

If you were to relive any month of the year in 2011, which month would you pick and why?

Hmm, I would choose July. Or August.

Well, July was a very bittersweet month for me. One of the most dominant things that happened in that month was my Arts project haha. Unlike most of the art students, I started my project quite late. So I had to rush everything and on the first night I worked on it, I slept at 4am and went to school like a zombie afterwards haha. I'd also pick July because I actually managed to reconnect with my ex-classmates from my lower secondary classes so it felt good. Plus, I also got to make friends with new people! We'd be sitting in the Arts room, working on our projects, so naturally as time went on we got along pretty well.

Hmm, what else...well, July was also the month I discovered that I can actually come up with nice drawings, complete with realistic colours by using colour pencils. It was when I found out that colour pencils and I were meant to be together haha. It was also the month in which I discovered a band that can actually make me tear up everytime I listen to them. And that band is...OneRepublic :o I listened to that band while I was working on my Arts project, and at that time I was having one of the best moments in my life when I interacted with other people. So whenever I listen to that band now, I'd get reminded of the good times I had in July and they were one of the best moments I've ever had throughout the year.

Now, August. August was a really good month. It was great! Well, mainly because it's also Ramadhan that time haha. But August was no doubt a very good month. I was fasting, together with millions of other Muslims, and somehow I felt spiritually much closer to Allah. My time of the month apparently came really late so I managed not to skip any prayers, including Tarawih. I managed to follow my parents to the mosque nearly every night for Tarawih and I'd listen to the imam's soothing voice as he recited the Quran while we prayed. There was this one night when somehow everything just felt so beautiful. The imam's voice that night was surreally beautiful that I found myself ending up in tears at one point. And I liked the joy of going to the mosque at night after Isya' to perform the Tarawih. From time to time we would go to the old-school A&W near my house for some waffles and ice-cream after concluding our Tarawih prayers. It was lovely! Not only that, there was this one time when my sister brought home her roomie Hannah from Singapore, and Hannah even followed us to the mosque to watch us pray. After that, each and every member of the whole family, including Hannah, went to the A&W near my house for some late-night waffles and ice-creams. Mmm.

Hmm. I'd also want to relive August because that's when each and everyone of my family member were here in PJ, at home, together. And how can I forget the day before Eid, when us ladies had to sit in the kitchen with Mama, helping her cook her yummy rendang chicken and other decadence. I had the unfortunate task of slicing onions and shallots, and at one point the sting in my eyes due to those onions got so bad that i had to wear my brother's shades haha. Or else i would've been just sitting there sniffling and squinting my eyes in agony as the chemicals from the shallots and onions stung my eyes. August was great because I became even more serious about my religion, and it was also the turning point for me to beribadat more. Lol idk what the word in English is supposed to be :p

Oh yeah, August was also the time when the school had our solat hajat and majlis khatam al-Quran. My classmates and I managed to spend our time together at these religious events and we had soooooo much fun. And somehow, I even started looking forward to my tuition classes, especially Mr. Wee's chemistry classes. Haha, Mr. Wee. How can I ever forget him. Initially I found him as really strict and rather stuck up sometimes but as time went on I found him quite funny actually. His jokes were the kind where he doesn't even try to be funny, so it actually makes whatever he says even funnier haha. Oh, and how can I forget his sheer disgust towards the government. Haha. But all that humour aside, he's also the reason why I started loving, and also improving, in chemistry. My tuition classes with him really paid off as he was a very good teacher and the way he taught me was excellent.

Apart from that, well, I don't know. August was also the month i discovered Brian Crain's piano opus album, which I listened to throughout the month. Good music, I tell you. Oh yeeeaaahhhh! There was also this one time, nearing the end of the month, when my family and I watched Paranormal Activity 2 together. Haha that was one of the best moments I've had throughout the year because my whole family, even though some were absent from watching the movie, managed to spend some quality time together, which is really hard to get nowadays now that everyone's busy with their own lives *puppy dog face* :(((

I had my fair share of great times and good memories apart from July and August as well. There's been so much drama this year that it's insane! There were fights and conflicts and the not-talking-to-each-other periods and the jealousy and hatred and rumours and gossips and the shitload amount of work and whatnot. I can honestly say that 2011 was a great year, even better than 2010 even. So much drama, but i still had so much fun with my classmates around. I think if it weren't for my Klassmates, my senior year in secondary school would be a boring one ._.

2012 is coming in just a few days and I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of 2011 yet. Like I said, you know, so many good things happened this year and I'm filled with so many bittersweet memories. But life goes on. It'd be pointless to move on to a new year only to carry your old bad habits with you. So that is why I hope I'll improve myself as a person and as a Muslim once 2012 arrives. Leave my old bad habits of procrastinating and overthinking and getting jealous so easily and letting my emotions run wild until they control my actions.

2011 was a journey I would (hopefully) never forget. The events that happened this year have shaped me to become who I am today and I'm grateful for not only the good things that happened to me, but also for each conflict and obstacles thrown at me, and not forgetting all the people I've met! Alhamdulillah.

2012, we'll be anticipating you :) And no I'm not talking about doomsday, which is total bullcrap. Even my peanut butter expires in 2013 ._.

2011-12-25T21:56:00.001+08:00

I've been thinking quite a lot about my future lately. Many have asked what I'd like to do in university, and most of the time my answer would always be the same thing. Architecture. That's what I'd like to apply for in university.

Lately whenever I go into bookstores I wouldn't even look through the fiction section, just like how I would all this while. Instead, I find myself being lured to the architecture section. I'd browse through the thick, heavy, hard-cover books enriched with everything about architecture and I would sit down somewhere and flip through the pages. Somehow, the more architecture books I flip through, the more my desire to study architecture grows.

My artsy fartsy industrial designer sister have recommended I take up industrial designing quite a number of times. Industrial designing, to my understanding, is about designing stuff like cars, furniture, other industrial stuff. I think la haha. Apparently she says that architecture will take up a lot of time, around seven years or so. The first five years would be studying in university, and the other two years would be trying to make it as a real architect. What I mean by a 'real architect' is that when you've graduated from architecture school and land yourself a position in an architecture firm, you won't be designing buildings and houses straight away. The 'older' and more experienced architects would be the ones who do that. In fact, I think your job for the first two years would be more of an internship, I think. You'd basically be bossed around by the more experienced ones :/

I guess you can say industrial design is part of architecture haha.

I'm a bit unsure of the procedures I have to go through in order to do my degree in architecture. My father mentioned that I might have to take up matriculation first, or A-levels, which might take up a year or two. Haha I really don't know.

Right now the two universities I have in mind are UiTM and UIA. I hear that both universities are really good in architecture, and plus, two of my sisters have been to those universities hahah. Well I still have some time to think about it.

But one of my biggest goals this time is to become one of the top students in the course I'm taking, whatever that course might be. I was never really an outstanding student back in secondary school, my grades were mostly just above average. So this time, since I'll most probably be learning about something of my interest, I have set a goal to earn exemplary grades and become one of the smartest, top students in that particular course. I mean, who knows, I might just get selected to go overseas, with a scholarship to boot!
You know how they say learning is so much easier when you have a strong interest in whatever you're learning :)

As of right now I'm really worried about my SPM results. But I know I've done my best, so whatever results I'll get, I'll just have to accept it and deal with it haha. I really don't want to disappoint my parents and I really hope I wont, but I just want them and the rest of my family to know that even though I might now have done well in SPM, which I hope isn't true, I WILL try harder in university and emerge as one of the top students...in the Dean's list! :D Ngeheheh insyaAllah.

Somehow I just can't wait for university life to commence. I swear I feel so lifeless and futile ever since SPM ended haha. I'm constantly lazing around the house, sometimes randomly walking into rooms in a daze, and well, basically doing nothing productive haha. Sometimes i'd go out and all. I've had the desire to start working out again but I keep saying, 'tomorrow'. Which isn't a good thing, really. Haha. Yeah yeah some might say, 'You dont need to work out! Your figure's fine!' Well au contraire my friend, I want to work out to get in shape and obtain a healthy body, not to lose weight. I'm dying to wear my first ever pair of Nike shoes that my sister bought for me for my 17th birthday lol. I'm such a couch potato :p

I honestly don't remember being THIS lifeless when I was done with PMR two years ago. However, I would already start getting behind the wheel next week during my driving lessons...if I hadn't missed that phone call from the driving school to schedule another appointment for the remaining 3hr practical class I have to attend. But hey, I was still in Singapore that time and it was an unknown number ._. When I finally got back to Malaysia, I called the driving school to schedule another appointment, but unfortunately the only upcoming class I can attend will be on the 30th since the rest are full. Shucks. Then i'd have to wait for another week or so to get my L license, and only then I'll be able to get behind the wheel. Aaahhhh so long -.-

I should find a new hobby haha.

2011-12-24T00:32:00.003+08:00

Allah ♥

Enough said.

2011-12-23T23:29:00.001+08:00

'Sup?

2011-12-21T22:06:00.001+08:00

Singapore was great. Managed to spend some quality time with my sister, Kak Lea there. Back home now. Looking forward to my driving lessons. I need a job. And I miss Kak Lea, and her apartment, and that one night when I made tunapasta for dinner and sat on the couch in front of the TV in her apartment, eating the decadent, delicious, tuna-y tunapasta I made. And the smell of her apartment. And her room. And simply getting out of the apartment and taking the train/bus to anywhere I wanted myself to be at. Hmm. I'd love to go back.

2011-12-16T14:43:00.002+08:00

Homesick. I wanna go home. This place is giving me too much hope. I'm constantly drowned by the memories that hit me like a tidal wave and the only thing I can do is just go with the current that leads me to absolute nowhere. I wanna go home. I wanna see Mama Abah and Kakcik again. Go out for dinner with them. Have lunch or go grocery shopping with Abah. Hug him and wrap my arms around his belly, just like how I used to as a kid. I wanna sit on that damn massage chair for hours without caring about anything else, gazing out the garden on a bright sunny weather with a mug of Nescafe and listening to songs that can make me forget the world.

I wanna go home. And continue my driving lessons. Get myself lost in the deep throngs of a bookstore, take my time to browse as many books as I can possibly lay my hands on. Read more. Paint the Aurora Borealis. Or the colourful canyons of Arizona. Bake brownies. And cupcakes and pies and specialty cakes until everyone's sick of having desserts. Visit the National Zoo, or FRIM. The bird park. Splurge on unnecessary things. Forget every problem. Forget everyone. Forget the world.

It's the only way I can escape.

2011-12-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

You've changed my life in so many positive ways. I will always love you for that, and more. And, I will never forget you.

Please remember that, and please don't forget me :)

2011-12-13T19:41:00.000+08:00

That moment when you feel your heart breaking, shattering into a million pieces and you've no idea where to find those tiny pieces of broken hopes and dreams, just so you can patch up the big hole in your heart. That moment when you feel yourself being swallowed mercilessly by the ground and trying to claw your way out would be futile. That moment when suddenly nothing makes sense anymore, and you wander around like a mindless soul, walking into rooms without you even realizing it. That moment when you watch it all crumble down, after spending a time so ageless just working on it, hoping it'll turn out the way you hoped it would.

13.12.11. The day I lost it all.

2011-12-12T05:41:00.001+08:00

Windy morning. Cold room. Super stingy swollen eyes. Mosquito bites everywhere. Ah yes, the life of a nocturnal night owl.

It's 5.41 and I'm up! WADDUUUPPP?

Aahhhhh I had such a good night's sleep! Lol kidding. I just didn't sleep, that's all.

Brain go cuckoo. Oh my lovely princessy bed, why must you look so lovely and princessy and cozy?

2011-12-11T19:58:00.001+08:00

My heart sinks and the whole world just drops below me. I walk into rooms without even realizing how and why. Too many emotions caught up in my mind that everything's all blurry and fuzzy. I feel so small and fragile inside my own skin. Collapsible. I eat and drink without tasting anything. I'm trying to adapt to things but they changed so abruptly, like a car crash coming on an empty highway. So unexpected. I can't think straight. My own voice is starting to make me sick just by listening to it. I look in the mirror and all I see is the inevitable darkness that looms over the irises of my lifeless eyes. I can feel myself slowly getting smaller and smaller with each passing minute, only time will tell when I will be nothing more than just a tiny speck of light in the sky. A star, a memory.

I wonder if anyone understands what I just wrote. Because I honestly can't.

2011-12-09T23:35:00.001+08:00

The only reason why people hold on so tight to memories is because they're afraid something so great won't ever happen again.

2011-12-09T19:34:00.001+08:00

I'm tired of people expecting things from me like as if I have all the time and money (and lives) in the world. I've been stepped on too much and for too long and this time I won't succumb to anymore of this idiocy.

2011-12-08T00:17:00.001+08:00

Paramore for the win! I saw some of the comments on YouTube, some of them claiming that they don't like the country feel to this song. Douchebags. If you were a true Paramore fan you'd know they originated from Nashville, Tennessee, and isn't that where country music is famous? Idiots -.-

Anyhow, can't wait for their new album to come out!

2011-12-07T19:18:00.001+08:00

I've been feeling pretty down lately. Lately I've come to realize that there aren't really that many people whom I can talk to. You know, just for a chat or something. Let alone talk about my problems.

Like I said, you know, I can have as many friends and acquaintances as I want, but it all boils down to one thing; I will always, always be the odd one out. The sore thumb. I will always be a loner. Not that I mind, I mean, it's fine that I always find peace in solitude and confinement, but sometimes that solitude can be a pain when it comes to finding a person to talk to.

Sometimes I don't even understand myself. My emotions, my feelings, sometimes I just don't understand them. This inability to understand my emotions has been bugging me all year round. I don't know if it's normal for a growing female teenager, I really don't, but I just hope I'll get out of this phase soon enough. I've always been meaning to talk to people about my problems, but most of the time I just find it best to keep these problems to myself since even I myself am not sure about what's going on in my mind. Most of the time I choose to keep quiet and just go with the flow.

Aahhh I don't know. I think I just need to get away from everyone for a while. I can't wait to fly off to Singapore next week and spend some quality time with my sister there. While she's working during the day, I can have sometime alone to myself. Maybe I can just walk around the compound of her apartment, or walk to the grocery store and ogle and admire the products they have there that they don't have them here in Malaysia, or something.

Anyway, maybe it's just my sleep deprivation kicking in. You know how sleep deprivation can disrupt everything in your life. Your mood, your emotions, your plans, etc. It's now 10.37pm, so I shall take a nice warm shower and go straight to bed. Oh but wait......I have to read up on the rules and regulations and the law for my theory exam on driving tomorrow. Maybe I shall do that before I go to bed :)

Have a good night everybody :)

2011-12-06T10:01:00.001+08:00

Ever since SPM is over my sleeping pattern has been all over the place. Nowadays I never sleep before midnight. Most of the time I'm up all night, either doing work or I just felt like staying up. I know it's bad to sleep late, but I don't know, I just find peace and solitude when I'm up at night all alone in my room while everyone else is asleep.

There was this one time when I slept at 5am and had to wake up at 8am. Only three of hours of sleep haha, but I survived! I had a six-hour talk on driving that morning and I was surprised to find that I actually survived the whole thing haha. Well, mainly it's because I had a strong mug of coffee before I left for the talk, and the speaker, who's also one of the driving instructors, was really hilarious and he kept the atmosphere alive with his jokes.

Anyhow, I think my sleeping-so-late-at-night-and-waking-up-early-in-the-morning thing is finally taking its toll on me. Last night I slept at 3am because I had some work to do, and I find that I can actually focus on my work better at night than during the day. So I slept at three and woke up at eight to pick up my renewed passport at Kelana Jaya. When I woke up I suddenly felt the exhaustion kicking in and it took all my strength to fight the urge to remain in my comfy bed and continue sleeping.

Nevertheless, the time it took for me to pick up my passport didn't even cover 5% of the time my father and I had to wait to get my passport renewed yesterday. It barely took ten minutes and I was glad we didn't have to wait for hours, just like how we did yesterday. We had to wait three hours in that stuffy, congested room for three hours yesterday just to get my passport renewed. It was torture. There were annoying kids running around, babies crying like it's the end of the world, people people people.

There was this one time when a woman sat next to me while we were waiting for our numbers to be called up, and she really annoyed the heck out of me. It was fine that she sat beside me, but once she took out her cell phone and started talking to the person at the other end of the line, that's when I got really annoyed. REALLY REALLY ANNOYED. At first this woman talked on the phone with a moderate voice, but as time passed her voice started getting louder. And louder. And LOUDER. AND LOUDER! It didn't help that her face was so close to my shoulder as she spoke, or should I say yelled, on the phone. Somehow she got to a stage where she started yelling and talking loudly on the phone, RIGHT NEXT TO MY EAR, and at that point I just didn't care anymore. My annoyed, irritated expression was clearly written on my face and I think other people realized it, too. I mean, come on, she was practically yelling in my ear, and god damn it her saliva was all over me -_-

At one point, my father, who sat next to me and two seats away from that woman, leaned forward and frowned at her. I didn't think she realized haha. Thank goodness I'm a sane person. Or else I would've snatched the phone away from her and crush it with my foot.

I hate renewing my passport. The process is just...time consuming!

I'm really, really exhausted. But I don't know when I can recover from my sleep deprivation (by sleeping, of course) since I have quite a hefty amount of work to do. I'm going out with my classmates soon and I'm excited! I know, I know, I should stay at home and rest, but I haven't seen my classmates in a while and I'd like to spend some time with them during the holidays. God know when we'll be able to hang out with each other again :)

Back to work. Adios!

2011-12-04T15:20:00.001+08:00

Pathetic!!!!!

Yucks.

2011-12-03T21:30:00.001+08:00

Tonight was a good night :)

I made some mac and cheese for dinner. It was my second attempt and my parents loved it and my mum loved it so much she hugged me so tight until I couldn't breathe haha. Alhamdulillah :)

The super ooey-gooey thick cheese sauce that started off as a Bechamel sauce, and then a huge amount of cheddar and mozzarella cheese was stirred in it until they were all melted until this sinfully ooey gooey thick concoction was formed!

And then I mixed some button mushrooms and small chunks of tuna together with the macaroni elbows and of course...THE CHEESE SAUCE!

One last stop before the oven for further indulgence!

Tadaaaaaaaaa! :)

Cooking is tiring, that's for sure. Nevertheless, I'm glad my parents enjoyed the mac and cheese hehe. While the mac and cheese was in the oven, I decided to wash the dishes. When I was done with the dishes and the oven pinged, signalling that my mac and cheese was done, I took it out of the oven, put it on the table, covered with the tudung saji while I waited for my parents. In the end I decided to take a shower first because I felt so sticky and sweaty and I needed some rejuvenation.

So I took a shower, scrubbed my head good, and as soon as I exited my room, the aroma of the mac and cheese just wafted into my nose. It's a good night. I managed to cook dinner for my parents, they both loved their meal, and I was "rewarded" with a heaping plate of some hearty comfort food as I was done showering.

Ah yes, life is bliss. Alhamdulillah. I shall now proceed to bed and sleep peacefully to recover from my sleep deprivation since morning. Family brunch tomorrow and after that, my sister's taking me out for a birthday treat! Yipee!

Alhamdulillah :) I know I keep saying it but I'm just grateful to Allah, because He has blessing me with such great things in life. Alhamdulillah :)

2011-12-03T18:08:00.001+08:00

I wrote a really nasty post. It wasn't vulgar, but it was nasty. And I've decided to delete it. Because I'm nice.

I feel sorry for you, girl.

2011-12-02T19:50:00.001+08:00

Well, officially, SPM isn't over yet but....

it's over for meeeeee! I finished my last paper, which was Pendidikan Seni, yesterday. And Alhamdulillah, I ended my SPM exams in a memorable way, I guess. It was my Arts paper yesterday and judging by the artwork I produced yesterday, you wouldn't even know that it was only my second attempt at painting.

Two days ago after I ended my Biology paper, I was still clueless on which question I should pick for my Arts paper. And when I finally chose the question I wanted to do, I had no clue on what my artwork would look like. The question I chose required me to come up with a drawing/painting of a few trees blocking the flow of water in a small river. So that night I Googled on pictures of rivers and streams and creeks and all, just for inspiration.

I slept really late that night. At around 4.30 in the morning. I was supposed to practice for my Arts paper the next day, but my parents decided to take me out for dinner since I was done with those stressful subjects in SPM. We got home pretty late, and I was already sleepy and tired, so I made myself a strong cup of coffee to supply me energy that night. I finally got to work at around 11.30pm once the caffeine kicked in.

First, I came up with a sketch on how my resulting artwork would look like. I experimented with a few, of which many of them weren't really up to my liking. So finally I came up with one sketch that really accentuated the tree logs and the water splashes and all. The sketch was fine. However, I was still undecided on which medium I should use. I was torn between the RM50 colour pencils that I bought a few days before and the cheap Buncho paint I bought many months before. I tried with the colour pencils but it just didn't work. It was too time consuming as I only had three hours to come up with my artwork. So I finally settled for the paint.

Here's a thing...I was never good at painting. I only signed up for Pendidikan Seni early this year, so back then I never really painted or came up with an artwork on PAPER. It was always on Adobe Photoshop (school magazine haha). As the months passed by, I realized that I had quite a skill on colour pencils. So all this while I've only been working with colour pencils as my medium for any drawings whatsoever. I tried painting a picture of the Aurora Borealis a few months ago but the result was just pathetic. But only two nights ago when I did that painting of the stream of water and tree logs and grasses and yadi yadi yada did I realize that I can really work with paints! It was two nights ago that I realized that I really love to paint. It's become my new hobby now.

I was up all night working on my painting. I searched for paintings online, just to get an idea of how my artwork would look like. I remember painting the first part of my artwork. It was those three tree logs that I drew. I wasn't really expecting anything bombastic but when I was done painting those logs, complete with the perfect highlights and shadows up to the very last detail, I was just amazed. I took that as a motivation and I continued working on the rest of my painting.

When my painting was finally done, I took a step back from my desk and took a really good look at it. Oh believe me, I've seen better paintings in my whole 17 years of existence, but the painting I produced that night really exceeded my expectations! I'm quite proud of it, actually.

So then I finally sat for my Arts paper yesterday, at 2pm. I was nervous, mind you. I honestly don't know why I was so nervous, but I was. That morning I woke up at 8.30 after only four hours of sleep and I woke up to three text messages on my phone. One was from my good friend Atasha, wishing me good luck for my Arts paper, and the other two were from my brother and sister, also wishing me good luck. Their text messages made my morning and it made me even more excited and motivated to sit for my Arts paper.

I was nervous, but if I showed you my resulting artwork yesterday, you wouldn't even know I was nervous! My artwork for my Arts paper yesterday turned out so much better than I expected. It was even better than the painting I produced the night before. I don't want to make it seem like I'm praising myself, but I was really proud of my outcome yesterday. If only I could just take a picture of my painting before I handed in, it would've been nice. You know, for memories.

I also got an unexpected occurrence yesterday when I sat for my Arts paper. I was placed at one side of the hall, the side facing the forest. From my place, I could see visitors passing by as they entered from the guardhouse. There was this one time when I saw my ex-class teacher, Encik Suhaimi, passing by and he saw me working on my Arts paper. He actually grinned and did a thumbs up to me and I thought that was just really hilariously cute! But not in THAT way of course......that's just...gross :/ Anyhow, it was a nice thing to have my ex-class teacher wishing me good luck for my Arts paper. It even made me more excited and motivated to produce a really good artwork.

I really, really wanted to take a picture of my artwork but I think that'd be prohibited -.-

I got home smiling all the way, relieved that SPM is over, and glad that my last paper was a very good one.

It actually feels really weird to not have anything else to study anymore. I'm so used to having this constant anxiety and stress about SPM over the past few months that it's just weird to not feel those anymore. Nevertheless, I feel glad and relieved that SPM is over. I can now pursue my interest in photography (and now painting), and not feel guilty about not studying for SPM.

I woke up really, really late today. I woke up at 10.30 once this morning but I was just so tired that I slept until 2pm haha. I woke up feeling very groggy and tired from sleeping so long, thanks to my sleep-deprivation the night before, but once I showered I felt so much better and rejuvenated. I had lunch and then my dad took me out to enroll me in a driving school near my house. So...I am now enrolled in driving school for driving lessons! I am so excited, and also quite nervous at the same time. My lessons start tomorrow morning, of which I have to attend this really long five-hour talk. Looks like I'll need a can of Nescafe tomorrow haha. Hopefully I'll be able to sit for the theory exam next week AND pass, and have my L license issued as soon as possible so the actual driving lessons can commence. Even my dad wants me to get my license quick haha. Stoked!

I don't know how tomorrow is gonna be like, but I'm excited about my driving lessons hehe.

Well, SPM is over. Back to life! :)

2011-11-30T22:34:00.001+08:00

I don't care if people think I'm weird. Or dumb. Or crazy. I'm (most probably) gonna colour my hair like that....because I can! :D

2011-11-27T14:02:00.001+08:00

Not really the genre of music I'd listen to but there's just something about this song that just got me glued to the screen just to listen to the whole song. And the girl is beeyooteefuuuul!

2011-11-26T23:32:00.001+08:00

This song is one of the many F+tM songs that just happens to be my favourite. I don't know how they do it but this band never fails to come up with such good music! This song is from their second album, Ceremonials, and honestly I can't tell which album I like the most because both of F+tM's albums are fantastic! I like the use of heavy drums in their second album. It somehow gives you that ethnic, tribal feeling hahah. I swear, if they come to Malaysia, I'd do anything to get my hands on one of their admission tickets! Florence's eccentricity and boundless energy coupled with her epic music is surely not something I would want to miss!

Anyhow, lately I've been thinking about all those ups and downs I went through throughout the whole year. Sometimes I'd browse through old photos, sometimes I'd listen to the songs that I listened back then, and I'd instantly be taken back to the past. All of that make me realise how much I've enjoyed, and at the same time, despised 2011.

But the thing I miss most about 2011 is how my Klassmates (and I) formed new bonds with each other. Hehe. Bonds. Ionic bonds. LOL too much of Chemistry haha. Sometimes we got sick of each other, sometimes we enjoyed each other's company and sometimes we just pissed the hell off of everyone. I can still remember when we had to cooperate for the interclass drama competition. We had so little time, it seemed like nobody wanted to cooperate, but in the end we pulled it through after many confrontations. At that point, we were already starting to get closer to each other. But then, we found out that we qualified for the finals, and those consequent two weeks were hell. Or maybe it was only one week. But anyway, we got closer even more during our preparations for the finals. Of course, we had our ups and downs as well. Our props didn't seem promising to be done on time and some of the scenes needed more rehearsals. But in the end, we finally pulled through. We were granted 2nd place and I think from that point, our bonds just got tighter and stronger.

Teachers didn't really favour our class either. I have to admit, we're not really the smartest kids in the school but our bond is nothing like others'. Yes, we were lazy, and naughty, we didn't like doing our homework (then again who does?!) but when we needed to be serious, we got serious. We knew when exactly to be serious and when to have fun. I think having fun constitutes about 90% of the time when we're in school hahah. Yes, teachers didn't like us, but that only made our bonds stronger because we've made a point to prove our teachers wrong. We made a promise to work extra hard and do really well in SPM, together. We pledged to go up on that stage next year once the SPM results are in.

I can still remember one of the last days of us being in class together, as a team. It was during our class party. It was a very bittersweet day for us. We had a lot of fun in the beginning, but towards the end of the school hours, things mellowed down as we sat back in our original places. Some of our Klassmates gave their own speech and all and that was a very, very emotional moment. I failed to stop the urge from crying. I was probably one of the few who really, really cried. The tears just wouldn't stop and my sobs grew louder and harder with each passing second.

My senior life in school was a great journey that I will never forget. I can still remember those random moments we had with our teachers. Especially our class teacher Encik Suhaimi! Our "Papa" haha. Back then he used to be this really reserved and uptight person, but ever since he became our class teacher this year, he really showed his somewhat fun side and he treated us more like friends most of the time. Sometimes he'd make really awkward jokes but we laughed anyway hahah. I can still remember this one time when one of my Klassmates, Pei Ing, couldn't get the right answer to a math question. She had to answer it verbally, and when she failed to come up with the right answer, our class teacher actually mimicked her in his high-pitched voice! But of course, he wasn't doing it to be offensive. He was just trying to make a joke. The whole class laughed really hard haha.

I miss my teachers, too. :(

Aaahhh I miss being a Form 5 student! I still can't grasp the fact that I'm not a school kid anymore. Time flies by so fast when you're having so much fun. Going to school nowadays to sit for SPM is just not the same. Everyone's caught up in their textbooks/reference books, too busy to talk about anything BUT SPM. All those times when we could just mingle around in the morning before assembly, or during recess, not giving a crap about our studies while we're with our friends....all those times are just gone. We can never experience that again and it's rather sad to leave those good memories behind. I really miss being a school kid, no matter how sucky the school rules were and no matter how much I hated those really long assemblies. I'd go through all that again if it meant I'm able to feel the wonders of being a school kid again.

But of course, the past is the past. I now have a future to look forward to. (Well, not quite, SPM's still not over hahah).

Back to Chemisery! <---not a typo.

2011-11-19T23:51:00.001+08:00

Found this on my newsfeed on Facebook and I. Am. Furious. How dare you insult one's religion in such a foolish manner. Seriously, don't you think this is just so rude and insulting?! Funny thing is, there are still some Muslims who clicked 'Like' on this picture. Why, I do not know and I do not care.

ORANG ISLAM SEMBAH ALLAH LAH BODOH. BUKAN SEMBAH BABI.

Such a dick.

2011-11-18T22:58:00.001+08:00

Condensation on the outer side of my window. My air-cond was switched on the whole night so when I woke up the next morning I was surprised to find some water vapour on my window haha. This was just after sunrise, as you can see from the bright glow in the center. This was actually shot using my camera phone since I don't get to lay my hands on a DSLR camera for now -_-"

And this was shot while my dad was driving me to my tuition center. How I long to see the sun again.

2011-11-17T16:42:00.001+08:00

Well...you know...I'm not really the most intelligent/knowledgeable person out there.

But.

That still doesn't change the fact that I still do believe in myself and that I do have a respectable intelligence. I don't mean to boast but self-confidence really is one of the major components in trying to become better at something and frankly, that's exactly what I need right now.

Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts.

2011-11-16T15:08:00.001+08:00

Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. It's all about hoping and praying and hoping and praying until you've got nothing else to hope for.

2011-11-16T15:00:00.001+08:00

Just when I thought I did really well for a certain paper, something just had to come rolling in and demonically crush my hopes with its merciless feet.

And that frustrating I-should-have moment when you realize you got the answers right the first time but something in you just decided to change the whole thing and mess it up!

I'm losing hope with every passing subject god damn it! Everyone seems to be doing so much better than me and it doesn't help that some of them are just cocky enough to boast about it to everyone.

Bloody hell. *drowns in my own ocean of tears*

2011-11-11T13:39:00.001+08:00

A little food for thought.

Scorpios born on November 10 have so much strength of will that there is nothing they cannot accomplish. They possess a keen intelligence. However, they need to develop their spiritual side; if they do not, it becomes easier for them to be seduced by worldly attractions that bring little satisfaction.

Friends and Lovers
People born on this date retain a remarkable loyalty to friends, even if circumstances divide them. They have the ability to bond with others on a spiritual level. Romantic love is the most profound experience in their lives. They seek a soul mate, not just a partner. Even if hurt by the ones they love, they never lose their idealism.

Children and Family
November 10 people are devoted to their families and remain in touch with their childhood roots. They have a strict moral compass and rarely deviate from the values learned in youth. They expect a great deal from their children. They feel that whatever made good sense when they were children should still be respected now.

Health
November 10 people have so much natural good health and vibrancy that it can be undermined only by their own actions. If they maintain a good health regimen throughout life, they are likely to live to a ripe old age. Although likely to be slim in youth, they need to increase their exercise level as they near middle age.

Career and Finances
People born on this date have a need to be involved in work that challenges them intellectually. They have a deep understanding of philosophy, science, and religion. Although they have the intelligence to handle their finances well, they have a generous nature and may often spend money foolishly.

Dreams and Goals
These individuals often have a hard time deciding on which goals they wish to achieve — the spiritual ones or the material ones. This dichotomy plays out in their lives over and over again. When November 10 men and women are in pursuit of a goal, they turn all their talents toward achieving it.

Hmm. Freakishly accurate.

( Source )

2011-11-10T21:04:00.001+08:00

It's my birthday today.

I'm now officially 17.

How time flies by so fast.

My day was fine, I guess. Kakcik and Abg Afif took me out for tea at Delicious, Bangsar, this late afternoon. The food there is okay, I guess. So we just chilled at Delicious as we ate, and after that we went to CzipLee since Abg Afif wanted to buy some stationery for himself. I got myself a RM3.50 clear pencilbox so that I can use it to stuff my stationery and bring it into the exam hall during SPM. It's my own birthday gift to meeeeeeee! (It has a yellow zipper too!)

It was a good evening. The weather was lovely, although it was hot. It was a clear day and it was windy. It's nice to see the sun again after having all those downpours for the past few days. I really missed seeing the sun in the evening and it felt like a birthday present to me hehe.

My dad took Kakcik and I out for dinner. We just ate at the foodcourt since I didn't feel like having anything fancy. After dinner we went to Gelato Fruity and Kakcik paid for my ice-cream nyehehe. After I ordered my ice-cream only then did I realized that I left my wallet at home, so Kakcik had to pay for it teehee :p As we were paying for our ice-creams, my dad blurted out to the ice-cream dudes that it's my birthday today. To my surprise, the dude who entertained us with our ice-cream-flavour-decision-making graciously added a free scoop of ice-cream for me and told me to pick another flavour. At first I was sort of surprised, not sure if I should take it or not but in the end I took the free scoop anyway. I already had my scoop of peppermint chocolate ice-cream so I picked the mango ice-cream, knowing that that free scoop of ice-cream would go to my dad :)

Those ice-cream dudes were friendly. They wished me luck for SPM hehe. They made my day :)

I'd really like to say that I enjoyed my birthday today but that'd be an overstatement. I guess I'm just too caught up with the fact that SPM is in just four days that I keep forgetting that my birthday is today. Sometimes I find myself being caught up in a daze, just staring into space, being in my own world.

Very quiet birthday this year. Well, hopefully I'll be able to celebrate my birthday with my friends after SPM is over. I'd really like that :)

I also received a numerous amount of birthday wishes on Facebook, mostly from my schoolmates. I guess that made my day too :)

Well, before I end this post, which would probably be my last post before SPM is commenced, I just wanna thank you all for your kind, darling wishes. I really appreciate it a lot! :)

And now back to Sejarah.......

Sigh. Life.

2011-11-07T19:35:00.001+08:00

Second post in less than an hour.

I've been reading some of my posts back in 2010 and I can only question one thing...

What happened to me? Last year I used to be this really hardworking girl who worried about her studies and her job as the Head of Graphics for the school magazine in the Editorial Board. I was so adamant about completing my work that I sacrificed a lot of my sleepless nights just to make sure my work would be done on time. I'd get frantic and antsy whenever I couldn't do my work, and back then I just didn't seem to let anything get in the way to stop me from completing whatever task I had.

This year...? Don't ask. I'd probably go hide under a rock of shame for losing all that determination and dedication I had.

2011-11-07T19:10:00.000+08:00

I was just reading my old posts back in 2009 and 2010 and I've just realized something...

I wrote so much better back then than I do now. Damn. Am I ageing too fast? O_O

2011-11-04T22:03:00.003+08:00

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? The stupid board of the education ministers are STILL abolishing PPSMI? Like...SERIOUSLY?! Even though there are millions of citizens going against the decision.

....SERIOUSLY?!

If you think that the Ministry of Education (MoE) cares about the education of the youth, then you're just thinking bullshit. The MoE never cares about OUR education. They're just a bunch of dirty politicians who only want control over everything by winning people's hearts. They're just politicians, not educators. What do they care about the education of the youths these days? Um, I can only think of none.

"Memartabatkan Bahasa Malaysia" konon. Bullshit. Alright fine, the MoE wants us to dignify BM, right? Well there are other ways to do that! You can't abolish PPSMI just for the sake of it! It's stupid! It's ridiculously stupid. I mean come on, you learn Maths and Science in BM when you're in primary and secondary school, and when you go to college/university, what will be the language for Maths and Science? English. ENG-frikkin-LISH. What, the MoE thinks that students can just adapt to learning all Math and Science subjects in English just like that? With all those scientific terms such that most of them don't even sound alike to the corresponding BM terms! They're going to have a hard time, and when they do they most probably won't do well in their exams, they won't graduate with flying colours, so answer me this one question...WHO WILL HIRE THEM ONCE THEY GRADUATE? Can't think of any? Exactly my point.

And excuse me, it's not "Bahasa Malaysia." It's Bahasa MELAYU. It's MALAY god damn it.

Abolishing PPSMI, no matter when, is a huge mistake towards making this country to stand up to the world's standards. I really love my country, but the politics here are just bullshit. I've never liked the politics here. It's all just about those selfish politicians. Yeah they might promise you heaps of wonderful things now, but how many of them will actually hold on to their promises once they win those pointless elections? Exactly.

I'm not sure if it's true but I heard that these people are abolishing PPSMI because some teachers can't teach Maths and Science in English. SERIOUSLY?! Mind my words but go f*ck yourselves. I hate when teachers teach just for the sake of teaching and with that said, go learn how to teach Maths and Science in English for the country's sake! We have all those Maktab Perguruan and crap, why not make full use of it? We still have our retired senior teachers who CAN teach Maths and Science in English, so ask them to help these bunch of new teachers who can't teach in English!

And I bet the new Maths and Science syllabus is going to be far much simpler than what we have now, which is awfully bad for the youths' futures. What university would want to take students from Malaysia, whose education system isn't as great as other countries? I mean come on, those eighth-graders in the US are already learning about the Renaissance, and when do WE learn about the Renaissance? Yeah. Exactly.

I may not be a part of the upcoming generations that are going to have to learn Maths and Science in Bahasa Malaysia, oops I meant Bahasa MELAYU, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about how the MoE is seriously destroying the country by destroying the youths' education. And plus, sometime in the future we will all have children. And you want your children to get good quality education right? Yeah, I know I do. If all else fails I might just send off my children to an international school. Speaking of which, if the MoE thinks our education system is sooooooo great (which isn't that great at all), then why does he send his kids off to international schools? HAA!

I don't see the reason behind the abolishing of PPSMI. I just don't. Unless their main reason is to ruin this country, yeah, I guess that counts.

Sheesh.

2011-11-03T00:52:00.001+08:00

Today was a very emotional day for my classmates and I. We had our last class party today and the amount of fun we had was immeasurable. Funnily we had more drinks than we had food. One of our classmates brought her iPod and mini-speakers along and so there was music throughout the whole period, which was awesome. Haha. We ended the class party in a very emotional manner. After the class party we had to rearrange our tables in the classroom back to their original positions, and after we did I suddenly felt teary eyed.

Long story short, after we were already settled back at our own desks, suddenly Amelia stood in front of the class and gave a short shoutout to all of us. And I guess it all started with Amelia, because after that a few more of our classmates started giving shoutouts to the whole class as well. It was a very emotional moment for us, because everyone started saying how much they've enjoyed spending their upper secondary life in school with each and every one of us, 5K girls. And yes, there were tears involved. Many of us cried. As far as I'm concerned, I just couldn't stop crying as my classmates conveyed their short messages. At one point I just started sobbing really hard and by that time the tears were uncontrollable. Today would most probably the last day for all of us to be in class, together, and there will be no more spending time with each other in that classroom of ours after this.

It's hard to believe that we're ending high school soon. It's even harder to believe that even though it's only been two years, we've managed to develop a sense of togetherness over time. Yes, it's only been two years, but I can honestly say that each and every one of us 5K girls have gotten along really well compared to other classes. We've had many ups and downs, and we've had so much drama this year (literally), but time and time again at the end of the day we're still a family, no matter how much we annoyed and irritated each other.

My classmates really play an important part in my life. I mean, yeah, sure, we often fought and annoyed each other a lot, but we're just so much closer than you think. So many teachers expect us to do badly in our SPM, but we're standing up together to prove them wrong. We might not be the smartest, or the ones with the highest grades, and we might be naughty and lazy and loud and noisy and ridiculous and annoying, but come on, what's 5K without all that?

I think the sweetest memory that I will forever cherish in my life, is the time when we had our inter-class drama competition. We had a pretty rough start. Many didn't cooperate, we kept on changing our script, we had issues with our props, but as time went by we actually got on really well. We've managed to resolve so many problems, all thanks to the cooperation from everyone. I think that was the starting point that actually brought us all together as one. As a team. We had so many fights about the drama, but we managed to pull through. As time progressed we succeeded in cooperating with each other, and we bonded really well too.

We managed to finish in second place ;)

So after the string of speeches ended, it was time to go home. We ended our forever memorable class party with a MASSIVE group hug and we sort of made a promise to each other to do well in SPM. The waterworks came again as everyone parted, and then we hugged each other individually. First Sabrina came up to me and hugged me tight and I hugged her back. And then someone came (can't really tell who it was haha) and hugged us, and then Aini came, and it became a group hug. We were all crying and sobbing and and it took us a while to let go of each other. We got a whole lot closer ever since the drama competition and I wouldn't have had so much fun in school without them. So then we parted ways to hug everyone else, so I went up to Sonia and hugged her. As we hugged she told me a little piece of advice that really touched my heart, because I remember there was this one time recently when I had a really honest talk with her. I told her things I wouldn't really tell just about anyone and she listened on, gave me the right advice. I cried even harder as she spoke and at that point I just couldn't thank her enough for being such a good listener, and a good friend.

My life in high school would never have been this fun if it weren't for my Klassmates. It's just hard to believe that we've reached the end of high school. All those dramas and fights we had, and all those good times we've shared, they're just impossible for me not to cherish forever. Teachers might disdain us, but no other class could have shared the bond that we have. At the end of the day, 5K is just a big family of 36, including our class teacher Encik Suhaimi and our two "mothers" Pn Aizan and Pn Gan. Ah, yes, did I mention that Pn Aizan and Pn Gan helped us a lot with our class drama? Yeah, they did.

5K 2011 and their memories will always remain in my heart. Forever and always.

SPM. Here we go.

2011-10-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's 10A's

2011-10-27T22:56:00.002+08:00

Today happens to be the last tuition class for Chemistry and I honestly had no idea about it until Mr Wee told the whole class about it. Somehow the fact that there'll be no more Chemistry classes with Mr Wee after this just struck a chord in me. Class was as usual, but I felt like as if something was just off today. We ended the class with Mr Wee wishing us the best of luck for SPM, some words of wisdom and etc. I must admit, I got a bit teary eyed as he said those words and when he left, that was the end of it.

It's funny how a few months ago when I just started my tuition classes with Mr Wee, my first impression of him was a very negative one. He's quite a strict man, very punctual, but beneath all that he's actually a fun, caring, and sometimes funny person. Back then I used to dread going to tuition classes because I'd feel so lonely since I was literally the only girl from CBN in the tuition center. But since a few weeks back, I started looking forward to my tuition classes because I really wanted and needed those extra classes.

And just as I'm about to enjoy my tuition classes, they're already ending.

"And the worst part is, before it gets any better, we're headed for a cliff," -- Turn It Off, Paramore.

I'm not just sad that my tuition classes are ending soon -- next week, to be more accurate -- but I'm also sad over the fact that in just a few weeks I'll be leaving school, leaving CBN, for good. I remember the last day of school before the Deepavali holidays started, which was last Friday, we were having our annual Everybody's Day in school. I was one of the last among my classmates to go home, and then I bumped into Sabrina. I lingered with her for a while, talked to her for a bit since I didn't get to see her the whole day. Before we departed, she told me that we only have five days of school left before the one week holiday and then SPM. Somehow I just got so shocked over that statement that my hands flew to my mouth and I shouted, "Ya Allah!" and the waterworks came. I'm not so sure if Sabrina saw that I was crying a little but I really did. Then she pointed out that we won't have that much time to be together anymore, to just let loose and fool around like morons like we usually do -- or did -- in school. So then Sabrina and I hugged each other before I had to leave, and the tears came even more.

It's funny how all this while I just couldn't wait for school to be over, to leave the school grounds for good. And here I am now not wanting all this to end. I've had so many ups and downs the whole year but it wouldn't have been a splendid one if it weren't for my friends and fellow Klassmates -- yes, klassmates, as in 5K, my class, haha. After dinner just now I sat in my room and took a moment to think about all the good times I've had this year with my klassmates. Hari Membina Azam, the drama competition where we claimed the second placing, the seminar at UM that wasted our money (it was a crappy seminar haha), Sports Day, Teachers' Day, solat hajat, aaaargh and many more. So many great memories with them that it's hard to say goodbye.

Oh god I'm tearing up again now. All those ridiculously hilarious moments we've shared in class, laughing and fooling around like kids who got sugar-high, those awkward funny moments with our class teacher Encik Suhaimi! Oh my god I'm gonna miss all those. I think I already am. I can't wait to end school but at the same time I don't want to say goodbye. To my klassmates. To my teachers. To CBN.

2011 is ending too fast. I wish there's a brake somewhere so the year wouldn't accelerate so fast. I'm really not ready to face SPM, to face the goodbyes that my klassmates and I are inevitably going to share. I have no doubts that there'll be a lot of tears on the last day of school for us school-leavers before SPM is commenced. I can honestly say that I've had a really good year in school this year. As a senior, as a school-leaver. CBN and 5K 2011, I will surely miss.

2011-10-27T14:49:00.003+08:00

Omg how can I not have heard of this song before?! The intro is killerrrrrrr! And Florence is so adorable in this video! I love it when music artists make a video montage of their "behind the scenes" recordings and use that montage as an official music video. Just makes everything seem so real instead of those typical scripted music videos that never seem to make sense to me. Aahhh yes F+tM never fails to amaze me :)

2011-10-25T18:28:00.002+08:00

My 1000th post goes to Noor Ashiqin, for truly being an amazing girl.

"Off to a new topic, once upon a time (or more accurately, last year), there were three girls. They were always seen together, most of the time making a fool of themselves in the school canteen. They were close friends. Suddenly, they weren't anymore. 2 of them stayed together while the other part of the former trio was never seen with them again. Many asked why, but no one could truly understand their explanations, because in the end, only they could feel that level of hurt and disappointment.Well, that one girl is Iman Nedhiera. Hear ye, hear ye, we're all okay now! We all agreed that it was all of our faults, and it's stupid to continue the fight. Tiring really. And even though I have said bad things about her before (because who hasn't during a fight?), I can honestly say that I'm glad to have her back in my life. "

And I'm proud to say that I'm glad to have you, and Ezleen of course, back in my life too :)

2011-10-25T16:07:00.001+08:00

THIS MADE MY DAY! I swear the moment I read this email, I literally leaped out of my chair, jumped around in my room and squealed in absolute delight! Aaahhh Alhamdulilllah :) I'm hoping my photo will be selected as the winner so I'll get that Nikon D3100 and RM2000 I've been dreaming about! :D

2011-10-22T14:25:00.000+08:00

Ezleen's interpretation of how I look like as a cartoon. Hahahah

Source : http://ezleennatasha.blogspot.com/

2011-10-22T00:44:00.005+08:00

NUR IMAN NEDHIERA BT HASHIM.

SPM 10A's!

YOU HEAR?!

2011-10-17T18:08:00.002+08:00

I'm happy to say -- no, more like ecstatic, to say that we're all okay now. Hoping for the best :)

2011-10-14T15:26:00.001+08:00

An incredibly craptastic day. School was anything but fun, especially early in the morning during assembly. Super long irrelevant, incoherent announcements about the same thing over and over and over (x100000) again. This morning's assembly was super long and tiring and all of us were just sick and tired of listening to the same announcements. Kebersihan la, this la, that la. Every single day you hear the same thing! It's annoying and time-wasting and irrelevant and pointless. Truth be told I don't think any of us actually care.

We had a seminar on Sejarah today. It was rather fruitful to me, Alhamdulillah. Again, I managed to sit right in front and after listening to the speaker, I think I'm finally opening my heart to Sejarah. I know there's only a month left before SPM, but there's still time for me to work on Sejarah, and also my other weak subjects. Don't give me all this "no time left" nonsense. I'm sick of it and I know for a fact that it's not true. There's still some time left in a month.

I sat next to Atasha, and the two girls who sat next to her were irritating. Kept on making noises and were awfully rude. When we filed back into the hall and took our seats after recess, they did the most horrendous thing ever. Apparently they wanted to see a teacher and at that moment, the teacher was standing at one end of the desks arranged side-by-side, talking to another student. These hooligans kept on calling her from their seats but of course the teacher didn't hear them. Or maybe she did but didn't bother to respond -- since they were being so rude. After a while these hooligans gave up trying to call her, then they called her "beruk". I swear I nearly yelled at them once I heard them saying THAT about a TEACHER. Like duh, if you know the teacher is talking to another student, and doesn't hear you calling her, then get your fat asses up and approach her la! I said that to Atasha and she agreed. I mean, who the hell do you think you are to expect a teacher to come to you? You want something from a teacher, you go to them. Don't expect them to go up to you, because they won't. No ounce of respect at all. Selfish, ignorant, arrogant children.

The Sejarah seminar was on from morning till about 1pm. We'll have another one on Monday. After the seminar ended the teacher in charge called me up on stage to handle the PA system, just because I'm an ex-prefect. But of course, I wasn't in charge of the PA system during my whole period of being a prefect, so as a result I went back down to search for one of the prefects who used to handle the PA system. I found Rishan, and she asked me to accompany her to do the job so I did. Then we walked up to the school labs to return back the extension wire that was borrowed earlier. We had quite a good talk along the way. She managed to lift my mood up after a whole morning of sitting on those chairs, listening to a talk on Sejarah. My back started aching really bad and that walk up to the lab kinda did the trick.

Nowadays I've just incredibly annoyed by school. I've just realized that ever since I've stopped being a prefect, I've been disdaining the rules and regulations of the school haha. Especially those ridiculous morning assemblies that take up your studying time. We don't really need all these irrelevant info going into our heads. Well, at least, I know I don't. We've got facts to memorize and formulas to understand for pity's sake -_- I guess you can say that this morning's assembly really ruined my mood the whole day. The assembly was ridiculously long and pointless and most of the time we were scolded in such a hyperbolic manner for the littlest of things! After a while we all got antsy and peeved. I know I was.

Heh, and to make things worse, after us school-leavers filed into the hall to take our seats for the seminar, we were scolded really bad and it was just so embarrassing because the speaker was already there! The teacher screamed and yelled at the dumb microphone and we were all like, dude, chill! I guess it's fair to say that the hall was a chaos, but it wasn't entirely our fault! We were told earlier to line up at the back of the hall to get our Interlok novels swapped with the new version. Some of the girls already swapped so they remained seated at their tables. Naturally the hall would (obviously) be noisy since there were girls going to and fro the front and back part of the hall. Then the teacher yelled at the microphone -- probably causing severe damage to my eardrums -- asking us why the back part of the hall was so crowded and chaotic. Little did she know we were only doing what we were told to do -_________-

I swear I can't wait to get out of school. I really hate going to school just because of those darn assemblies.

2011-10-13T22:58:00.002+08:00

So, Mr Ghana, my Addmaths tuition teacher says that if you end up getting bad results for SPM, then you've just wasted eleven whole years of going to school. DAMN THAT REALLY HIT ME HARD.

My brain has reached its capacity at the moment so I just feel like writing and venting out my feelings. Today was pretty productive, I must say. Alhamdulillah. We had some Program Kaut A for BM this morning in school and I learned a lot. Atasha and I were lucky enough to sit right in front of the hall, right under the speaker's nose haha. Literally. I stayed in school until 3pm before going out for lunch at Capsquare.

Initially when school ended at 1.10, I planned to do Terengganu's Chemistry trial paper that I printed out last night. But then, some of my good friends from 5B came up to me and asked if I'd like to join them attend Cik Faridah's extra class for Biology. I was contemplating at first because I wanted to revise Chemistry, but then again my Biology isn't really that great so in the end I decided to follow them. And it was anything BUT the wrong decision to make.

We had the extra class for Biology in Lab 1. I swear I was the only 5K girl there haha. The rest were all from 5B, the first class. I'm from the third class. I guess it was a good environment for me to learn in because first of all there weren't that many students in there, and all of them are super smart and they're super focused on their studies. I was the only thorn in the bush haha. Although we only answered Paper 1 of Biology from god-knows-which-state, I managed to learn quite a few things. I sat next to my good friends Rishantinee and Yadd and we had quite a good time there hehe.

We ended around 2.30 so I decided to go to the surau and pray. At about 3pm I left school grounds and met up with Malik at AIA and we walked to Capsquare for lunch. We were supposed to study Physics but both of us were so mentally tired that I decided to just call it off and just have lunch instead.

Next week onward will be very hectic because my daily hours will be occupied with tuition classes and extra classes and whatnot. Right now I literally go for tuition every weekday night and it's tiring. I just can't wait till SPM is over so I can finally relax and just forget about the world for a moment there.

Since I find it hard for me to study at home by myself, where there are tons of distractions to lure me away from my trusty books, I've decided to go home at least one hour later from school everyday, or maybe every two days, just so I can study. There's not much to do in school anyway, and at this time of the year, the school grounds would be almost empty by 1.30, excluding the afternoon session girls. The canteen would be quiet and empty enough for me to study. I guess this is just a way of disciplining myself so I'd actually study instead of waste my time at home napping.

Tomorrow we'll have a seminar on Sejarah in school and I really need to be fully awake and alert for this. Sejarah is my weakest subject in my history of 11 years in school, haha pun intended.

Just four more weeks till SPM comes. Seven more weeks till ABSOLUTE FREEDOM comes. I can do this. Yeah.

I can't believe I still have the time to write that much right now but I'm just so mentally tired. I can't afford to get bad results for SPM, I just can't. I must be a top-scorer. I KNOW I can and WILL be.

2011-10-12T18:15:00.003+08:00

Nur Iman Nedhiera bt Hashim. 10A's SPM.

Ah yes, I can feel it now. Amin :)

2011-10-09T20:06:00.002+08:00

I just love my home. Especially the garden. Especially when it's sunny outside and the weather's just beautiful. I'm saving money for a Sprocket Rocket lomo camera that I hope to buy after SPM. I think it's time I own one. I've been so infatuated with lomo cams for the past few months and I've been considering getting a lomo cam for quite a while. The picture above was actually shot with my phone and then I used an app to apply a filter to it. But then again where's the fun in that? When it comes to filtered photos like this one, I'd actually prefer to have The Real Thing, if you know what I mean. Somehow I just like the thrill of going around with a lomo cam, shooting random objects and breathtaking scenery, not knowing how the pictures are gonna turn up until you go to the shop and get them printed. Baru la best!

I found out about this Sprocket Rocket camera from Malik last night since he's planning to buy one too. I've surveyed some other lomo cameras out there and I kinda like this one. Although it's a bit expensive -- might cost double the price of a Holga -- around RM300 or so, but the pictures this camera produce are stunning! And the different filters and effects that you can apply are just amazing! And plus I've been a photography enthusiast since I was fifteen or so, so I don't think this will be a waste of my money. It's not like I'm gonna buy it just to show off, like some people would. So, hopefully I'll be able to get one as soon as SPM ends :)

2011-10-06T17:00:00.001+08:00

Hello. I'm Paranoid :)

2011-10-05T17:45:00.003+08:00

"We've even planned to have a road trip together when we're older. I can imagine us all huddled up in a tiny car, cranking up the volume on the radio, taking turns to drive the car on our way to our destination. Hehe." - Taken from my blog, March 2011.

It's hard to forget you girls.

2011-10-04T17:20:00.002+08:00

14th November - 1st December.

SIJIL PEPERIKSAAN MENGARUT.

Ohhpp I meant uhhh SIJIL PEPERIKSAAN MALAYSIA.

~(^.^~) ~(^.^)~ (~^.^)~

2011-10-02T20:57:00.003+08:00

Ah yes I feel like writing today. It's been quite some time since I've written a really long post haha. Anyway, over the past few days, I'm rather surprised to find myself having that drive and motivation to start -- yes, start -- working harder for SPM, now that it's merely a month away. And oh god I hope I don't jinx it by saying this but at this rate, I think I'm capable of achieving my target in SPM :)

I admit, I haven't really been getting the most plausible results throughout the year, and my SPM Trials results were just disappointing. At one point I just felt like giving up, like I couldn't do it anymore. Suddenly all those negative thoughts came penetrating through my fragile mind and I felt like the biggest loser in the world when I saw how badly I did in my trials. But it didn't take me long to get right back up again. I kept thinking about how I've been so negative and pessimistic all year round and then I suddenly realized that now's not the time to hide under a rock and mourn about all the things that I should have and should not have done for the past few months. I've made a lot of mistakes, I studied but it was not enough, and right now I can feel myself shifting into Gear 5.

I've had a pretty rough week, to be honest. It felt like a reaaaally looooooong week because I've had so many things going on...in my head. So many emotions overwhelmed me that I ended up in tears before going to bed. On Thursday I had a really honest conversation with my classmate Sonia and she told me things that I would've never known if it weren't for her. She told me how people used (or maybe still do) think about me, she told me how SPM is all just some crappy bullshit, and I'm not offending anyone here but she also told me how last year's batch of fifth-formers only got so many A's because the grading system was so insultingly downgrading and blahblahblah. It's been a while since I've had a really honest conversation with someone in school, and I opened up to her about my personal problems and she was such a good listener and a good adviser. I felt so much better when school ended and that was when I found the drive and motivation to study for SPM back in me. That night I had to endure four hours of tuition, but I didn't really mind anyhow.

Somehow I also found myself to be very estranged from my religion. From Allah. I had my time of the month, I couldn't pray, and I always hate that feeling when you want to pray but you know you can't because well, you just can't. I felt myself being so far away from Allah and it freaked me out. It still does. I admit, back when I was 13, I used to lie about praying. I admit I was wrong, I'm not proud of it but when I was 14, during the fasting month, I remember heading to the surau with my classmates to pray. And from that day on, somehow my heart just opened up more to Allah and I started to prioritize my prayers more. I started praying and from then on I noticed a great deal of change in my life. I was more calm, more patient with things, and I just could feel myself becoming a better person. The thing is, it took me that long to finally fulfill my duties as a Muslim and pray, and my biggest fear is suddenly losing myself from Allah's hands and neglect my prayers. I've made a promise to myself that I will never, ever become those kind of Muslims who lie about praying, who neglect their prayers for more important things. So then I talked to Malik about it, and he didn't even fail to get me back on track of my priorities as a Muslim, and also as a student.

So many things have happened over the past week and I can feel myself becoming an entirely different person. I've discovered so many things about how people perceive(d) me in life and I'm trying my best to not live up to their negative expectations. I've realized that I've been trying so hard to please others that the results were otherwise. So right now, I'm trying to not care so much about what others think because I have much, much more important things to think about. Like SPM.

All I can say is now, Alhamdulillah. I do believe that Allah truly loves His believers. I'm not just saying this in terms of being a Muslim, but I've learned that whenever you're going through a hard time, it's just God's way of testing your patience and not forgetting how much you believe and trust in Him. It doesn't matter which religion you believe in, but always remember that God always loves you and He puts you in tough situations only to help you come out stronger. And that's what happened to me over the past week. And right now I just can't tell you how grateful I am to God for getting me here. Everything, even the most nasty, undesirable things, happen for a reason. You've just got to find it behind all that and be grateful to God later on.

Whew. That was a deep one. But yeaaahhaaa it just feels so good to write again. SPM's a month away, and I do believe that I can achieve my target. With my good friends around, I'm sure I'll be standing on that stage when they announce the SPM results, joining the rest of the top-scorers and shedding tears of pure joy and satisfaction.

Nur Iman Nedhiera bt Hashim. 5K 2011. 10A+. Possible? InsyaAllah :)

2011-10-01T20:43:00.003+08:00

This is Nur Iman Zahirah, Malik's sister :) Our names rhyme lol. I'm telling you, she is undeniably adorable that it's hard to resist the urge to just cuddle this cutie!

2011-09-26T15:35:00.003+08:00

Sometimes my heart is filled with so much love and care towards Allah and my family and loved ones that it's overwhelming and I start imagining myself puking out all that affection stored in my heart. It's amazing how one can love so much.

2011-09-24T22:53:00.002+08:00

There's nothing "cool" about starting your blog posts with "Hey bitches!" or ending them with "See ya later bitches!". Yeah sure, even I have my own flaws, I may not be an angel blablabla, bloody hell don't even start on that. But I sure as hell don't act like a total ass. Jerk.

2011-09-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was beyond amazing! Tiring, too, but I had so much fun that my lethargy didn't even matter haha.

My trials ended yesterday, so after school my brother-in-law picked me up and took me to DoubleTree for the F1 in Schools - World Finals competition. My brother-in-law brought one of his staffs too and he treated us to some really good lunch at the hotel. The food was really really good. Apart from that, a couple of my other schoolmates also came to support Axis, our friend's (more like friends') team :)

There were some complications in the beginning at first and I had to face this occurrence that just made me wanna get out of that hall, sit in a corner and just cry. But I didn't haha. I made friends with really cool and fun people and it was just fantastic.

Malik in his racing suit :D

Ah and I met my old schoolmate from primary school, Hanna! I haven't seen this girl in six years and when I first met her yesterday I didn't even remember she was my old schoolmate, until she pointed out that she used to be in CBN2 as well. Then I suddenly remembered that I used to know this really tall Farhanna back in primary school and what do you know, she was right in front of me then haha. What a small world :)

So this is what a celebrity must feel like :p

Phoebe and Syira dragged me into this!

And last but not least, with Syira, Phoebe and Hanna at Axis's booth yesterday. These girls were beyond friendly and they kept me company throughout the whole event since they arrived. And they're hilariously funny! I had such a good time with them and I'm looking forward to spending more time with these girls :)

2011-09-17T17:49:00.002+08:00

Malik and I at Starbucks, Amcorp Mall yesterday noon :)

There's roughly eight weeks till SPM. At this moment I just don't care anymore. I wanna get it over and done with and hopefully I'll be able to achieve my target with the effort I'm putting in. It's so close yet so far away.

2011-09-15T23:04:00.000+08:00

Aaah yes, nothing feels better than reaching the end of a hectic week and all you wanna do is just sit back, relax, and enjoy the weekend. Tomorrow's a Friday but it'll be a public holiday so yay! It feels like just yesterday it was only a Sunday and now it's already Thursday! Four days have gone by so fast, not that I'm complaining, and I'm glad the weekend is here. Well, sort of.

Don't even get me started on my SPM trials.

My weekend is gonna be super hectic. I've got crazy deadlines to meet and I don't think I'll even have some free time for myself. I've got lots of design-work to be done.

But for now, tonight, I'm just gonna hit the sack early and wake up fresh tomorrow. I'm just inevitably exhausted, mentally and physically. I've been staying up so late at night cramming facts into my brain and I've been losing so much sleep. Oh well, weekend's here. To bed I go.

2011-09-12T17:43:00.000+08:00

Addmaths killed me. Heck no, it slashed me open, ripped me apart, and took away my soul. Lol so morbid.

Anyhow, I edited some pictures of which I shot myself to clear my mind off a bit before I start studying for Biology tomorrow.

This is so cheesy hahah

Goodbye now :)

2011-09-09T16:55:00.002+08:00

This is actually pretty cool. I might just do my hair something like that after SPM hehe. Not gonna care if anyone thinks I'm weird. Weird is cool.

2011-09-05T16:26:00.001+08:00

Random picture moment! Won't be blogging for a while :)

Too busy dating SPM trials.

2011-08-27T17:48:00.001+08:00

I might invite my friends over next weekend for Raya, or maybe for some group-studying time. Or maybe both. Not sure if they're up for it though. Would be nice to have 'em around for Eid.

2011-08-24T22:28:00.002+08:00

Today was my last Sambutan Hari Patriotisme in CBN. I had tons of fun, despite my crazy moodswings, and I enjoyed each and every moment of it all. Us Form 5 girls were given the priority to sit in front of the hall instead of the Form 1 juniors, which was a super plus for us! Usually the juniors would get to sit in front during events like this where the afternoon session kids (yes, kids) have to combine with us morning session girls. This year the school invited a pretty cool VIP from the Integrity Institute Malaysia and he gave quite an informal speech about integrity and independence and etc. I have to say, the guy didn't get the respect he deserved to have.

I'm gonna be frank, and I'm honestly gonna say that I don't like my juniors...which is why I never try to get myself close to a kid 3-4 years my junior. You can call me a snob, a bitch, an anti-social emo kid, whatever floats your boat, but you do not know how rude and selfish and annoying our juniors are. Maybe not all of them, but urgghh most of them are! I remember back then, when we were all the juniors of the school, we were so afraid of our seniors that we didn't even dare to disrespect them. Now...? Haih I don't have to tell you how it's like, do I? I'm not gonna get started on the rude encounters us seniors have to face daily in school, but what the juniors did in school during the VIP's speech was outrageously rude and embarrassing.

Since the juniors (I'm talking about the afternoon session juniors) had to sit waaaayyyy behind at the back of the hall, obviously they weren't really paying attention to the VIP's speech. Then there was this one time when the microphone stopped working so whoever sat at the back of the hall couldn't hear the VIP's voice. Those of us who sat in front, we actually knew that the microphone suddenly stopped working so we knew that the VIP wasn't done with his speech. But then suddenly we heard some loud, boisterous applause coming from the back of the hall. From the juniors. Ha, they thought the VIP was done with his speech, when he ACTUALLY WASN'T AND THE MICROPHONE HAD A GLITCH. Us seniors, we were so appalled and shocked and embarrassed at what the juniors did, because it obviously showed that they weren't even listening. I mean come on, you gotta give the VIP some credit for at least trying to make his speech sound more informal so that it'd be more interesting for us.

I think I'm not the only one who's upset with the juniors. Most of us seniors do. Personally, I'm grateful that this is my last year in CBN, so that next year I won't even have to face all this rudeness and immaturity equivalent to that of a five-year-old's. Seriously. They do not have an ounce of respect towards their teachers, seniors, and basically their elders. Like I said, maybe not all of them are rude and disrespectful, but you know what they say, one bad apple spoils the whole barrel.

I do not know where these kids come from and what they're learning and where they got their horrible attitudes from, but they really have to do something about it, or someone will. I can't stand these kids anymore.

And no, I'm not as snobbish and hateful as the internet suggests. I am a friendly person, I just don't like dealing with rude people. Or kids, for that matter.

2011-08-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

Tonight's tarawih felt somewhat...different. Tears welled up in my eyes a few times when I was listening to the Imam reciting the Quran, and I've never had this before. But the Imam's voice was(is) so indescribably beautiful that it's hard to not be mesmerized. It made me realize even more how beautiful the sentences from the Quran are, coupled with the soothing, alluring voice of the Imam's. Nothing's more beautiful than listening to the Imam reciting the Quran. I can honestly say it's the best music to your ears.

It's amazing how you can cry just by listening to the Imam recite the Quran in such a mesmerizing, melodious voice. I love my religion. Everything about it is just beautiful. I love Allah SWT.

2011-08-22T18:48:00.000+08:00

I don't like her but damn this song is so catchy. Na na na na na na.......

2011-08-21T13:12:00.002+08:00

Last night my sister's boyfriend asked me what I'd like to do after SPM. I told him that I'd like to pursue my studies in Architecture, and he suggested UiTM. Actually, that's not really a bad idea. All this while I've been planning to go to UiTM, since those private colleges have ridiculously expensive fees. So a few moments ago I've been surfing UiTM's official website to browse through the courses they offer. After seeing those courses, I think I've made up my mind on which programme I'd like to go with.

Right now I'm eyeballing ALUK, that is the A-Level UK Programme.

The A-Level UK Programme prepares selected students who have achieved academic excellence in the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) to sit for the GCE Advanced Level Examination (Edexcel). Those who pass the A-Level examinations according to the requirements of the sponsors will qualify to further their studies at UK universities. There are two groups of students in the programme: (i) the students sponsored by the Ministry of Education, who will major in Biology, Chemistry, Mathematics, and Physics (ii) the students sponsored by the Public Services Department (PSD) who will major in Architecture <--- exactly what I plan to do.

The requirements are pretty achievable for me and this programme assists in getting students to be enrolled in some selected UK Universities.

5 years to get my degree in Architecture. Yes, right now I'm hoping to go for this ALUK Programme. And right now, I NEED TO STUDY FOR SPM SO THIS CAN ACTUALLY BE MADE POSSIBLE. Hopefully with my effort and prayers, I can go for this programme. InsyaAllah :)

2011-08-20T23:49:00.002+08:00

Mission.

(Source : http://thechocolateaddict.tumblr.com/post/9161561643)

2011-08-16T17:19:00.001+08:00

I don't like when I'm trying to concentrate in class and everyone else makes a lot of noise and distracts me from listening to what the teacher has to say. I don't like when I'm trying to ask my teacher a question related to the topic and then someone interjects and says something completely hypocritical and condescending to you and you end up not getting what your teacher has said and then you think to yourself...what the hell?! I hate I hate I hate. School is just a waste of time nowadays. Super long ASSemblies, teachers yapping away about THE SAME THING over and over again until you just feel like covering your ears and going, "Na na na na na I can't hear you!!!!" And now they're playing lame 1Malaysia songs through the intercom in the morning for EVERYONE to hear before and during our reading session. Ah ye, memang boleh concentrate la kan bila nak baca buku?

I'm starting to get seriously annoyed and peeved at everything and everyone right now.

2011-08-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

Incredibly futile day. I'm hoping tomorrow will be more fruitful.

2011-08-14T12:19:00.002+08:00

Rough morning. Insomnia the whole night. Addmaths class was supposed to start at 9am and end at 11, but it started fourty minutes late and ended at 12! An hour later than the allocated time! So I guess you can say I'm pretty much pissed and annoyed and everyone's testing my patience and I just don't give a shit anymore. All I need right now is solitude, some time alone by myself to clear my head.

2011-08-13T18:50:00.007+08:00

I don't usually....okay, I NEVER wear dresses but this is one dress I would love to wear!

(Source : Cath Kidston)

2011-08-12T21:00:00.007+08:00

Last night I had a terrible dream. No, it wasn't a dream. It was a bloody nightmare.

I dreamed of seeing a family member getting hurt. We were having a family vacation and somehow we ended up in the woods. I remember (in my dream) being surrounded by huge, tall trees, densely packed together. The whole family were there. And I remember seeing a huge alligator appearing out of nowhere, and then it opens its huge, deadly mouth, and snaps it close right as it bites into my sister's leg.

My sister screams. I scream. She tries to tug her leg out of the beast's mouth but fails. Everyone starts to panic. I remember standing there, witnessing the horrible incident, stoned as shock and horror swim through my veins like an adrenaline rush. My brothers start to beat the alligator with a couple of huge branches they found somewhere.

That nightmare led to another nightmare. This time, I dreamed about losing a family member. Not just any family member though, but the same one whom I dreamed about getting bitten by an alligator. The whole family is in the densely packed forest again, taking a hike. We lose track of my sister. We panic, we try to call out for her, we retrace back our steps, but it all leads to nothing but futility.

I can't remember what happened in my nightmare after that, but I remember everyone being in a state of hopelessness. We're giving up on hope, we're hopeless. Nothing seems to work anymore, and my sister can't be found. Somehow we make a conclusion that she isn't with us anymore, that she's already in another life. Hidden by the bunian.

......After a long time my sister finally comes back to us. She seems fine, but she admits being lost. All of us are just overjoyed that she's back.

I'M GETTING GOOSEBUMPS JUST BY REMEMBERING ALL THIS. But I swear, that was one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. I woke up with a start in the middle of the night and my heart was beating so rapidly against my chest until my own heartbeat became deafening to my own ears. I breathed rapidly as I tried to convince myself that it was all just a dream. That it wasn't real. Alhamdulillah, it was just a dream.

I want my mommy.

2011-08-11T22:50:00.001+08:00

Gehehehe Florence is so cute ♥ How I wish I look as good as her when my expression's like that.....

2011-08-10T22:02:00.003+08:00

Another F+tM song I can't seem to get enough of. Goosebumps all over.....

2011-08-10T17:21:00.000+08:00

Such a cool concert! :o Florence's energy is contagious. Florence + the Machine foreverrrrr

2011-08-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

Another Marguerite sneak peek.